Into the Wild Blue Yonder
by amberissmiling
Summary: A lack of communication leaves Finn and Rachel confused about their future together. Upset, Finn makes a choice that will change both of their lives forever. Can they stay together? *Rating changed. I couldn't stay away from Finchel smut! :
1. Chapter 1

"You sure about this?" Puck asked Finn, flicking his cigarette down on the blacktop.

Finn nodded. "This is the best choice."

Puck sighed. "Have you talked to Rachel about it at all?"

"All Rachel and I ever talk about are the plans she and Kurt are making for New York. Plans that don't involve me."

"You know she wants you to go."

Finn shrugged. "If she'd wanted me to go, she would have asked me to. She didn't."

"When are you going to tell her about this?" Puck asked, motioning toward the building they were walking towards.

"I'll tell her when the time is right."

"Did you at least talk to your mom about it?"

"I'm 18. I don't have to talk to anyone about it."

Puck nodded, then slapped his friend's shoulder. "No matter what, bro, I'm glad you're doing this with me."

Finn smiled. "I'm glad, too. It's the first idea I've heard that didn't totally suck."

"What, you mean you're not in love with the idea of working for Burt for the rest of your life?"

"Or becoming the next Mr. Schue?"

"Or being a sportscaster?" Puck snickered.

"Why do people think they're _helping _me with these suggestions?" Finn asked. "Do they really think I won't be able to do anything else?"

"Hey man, I heard someone say you could create video games. That's cool."

"It would be cool," Finn agreed. "If I had any clue how to do it."

"At least people come up with job possibilities for you. I'm always going to be the dude that ends up in prison."

Finn watched his friend, knowing that behind his joking words there was actual pain. "I know you can be something," he told him. "I've got your back."

"Two Lima Losers, breaking away," Puck said, grinning.

"And we'll never look back," Finn told him, reaching the door.

"And you know we're going to look awesome in blue uniforms," Puck said, nodding to the Air Force recruiter that stood up to welcome them.

Finn laughed, shaking the man's hand. He hoped Rachel thought so…but he was afraid she'd be so upset with him she'd never even see him in one.

* * *

><p>"Finn!" Rachel cried, running towards him. He caught her, pulling her close for a kiss. She pulled back, smiling. "Hi."<p>

"Hi," he said, smiling back at her. "What are you doing here?" he asked, setting her down.

"I came over to show Kurt something for Regional's. We're going to win this year, Finn, I can feel it!"

"I know, babe," Finn said, still grinning. Rachel just made him happy; she was always so excited about everything.

"Blaine just left," Rachel told him, taking his hand and leading him towards Kurt's room.

"Where are we going?" Finn asked her.

"To talk to Kurt," Rachel said, looking back at him.

"I don't feel like talking to Kurt right now, Rach," Finn said. "I'm sort of tired…practice was rough today."

"Oh," Rachel said, dropping his hand. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm going to go take a shower and lie down for a while, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel said, smiling. She leaned up to kiss him. "I'll stop by before I leave, okay?"

"Yeah," Finn said, turning away. He tried not to be disappointed when she didn't want to spend time with him; he should be used to it by now. Since New York, Kurt and Rachel had become nearly inseparable. At first he'd been happy about it because it meant that Rachel was over more often. Now he realized that he'd rather Rachel be at her house and just talking to him on the phone or something.

He should have mentioned how unhappy he was about their relationship, but he couldn't do it. He knew she was happy and thought everything was fine and he didn't want to mess it up for her. He honestly felt bad for being upset in the first place. He was the one who told her she needed more friends, right? He just wished he felt like he was as important to her as Kurt or New York or even the Glee Club. As it was, he felt like an outsider in his own relationship.

He took a shower and put his head against the shower wall, wondering how he was going to tell his mom what he'd done. The country was at war and he'd just joined the service. She wasn't going to be happy. He and Puck had researched it, though. They'd even talked to Ms. Pillsbury (after swearing her to secrecy) about it. It just seemed like the best option for both of them. Ohio State scouts had been to McKinley to watch them- they were still on a winning streak- but people seemed to think that what they were doing was a fluke; that they weren't good enough.

Finn was sick of feeling like he wasn't good enough. He didn't feel like he was good enough for Rachel, he didn't feel like he was good enough to be the Glee co-captain, didn't feel like he was good enough to be the quarterback…he felt useless. He _hated _feeling this way, but he heard what people were saying. He didn't have a good voice. He was going to live in Lima forever and work for Burt. He wouldn't make it in New York and would just hold Rachel back. At first he'd thought it was all bullshit, but now…well, Rachel hadn't exactly been begging him to go with her, had she?

At that very moment, Rachel was in Kurt's room crying. "I don't think he loves me anymore," Rachel sobbed. "He just seems so distant. I try to talk to him about New York and he changes the subject."

Kurt rubbed her back. "Rachel, you should just ask him to go."

Rachel shook her head. "I can't," she said. "I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want. What if he went for me and he was miserable?"

"Do you want me to talk to him again?"

"It didn't work the last time, Kurt, it won't work this time." Kurt had tried to talk to Finn about New York but Finn had gotten angry and left the room.

"I just don't understand," she continued. "I'm with him. He has to know I love him; I tell him all of the time. Why would he not want to be with me?" She looked at Kurt helplessly. "Do you think there's someone else?"

"No, Rachel, there isn't anyone else. Finn loves you." Kurt knew he did, he could see it in his brothers eyes every time he saw Rachel. He honestly didn't understand why Finn was acting the way he was; he wasn't even really talking to Kurt anymore.

"He told me he was tired and that he was going to shower and lie down. He didn't even ask me to say bye to him when I left." Rachel's whole body shook with her sobs.

"But you're going to anyway," Kurt said.

Rachel nodded. "I just like being close to him," she said softly, her breath catching.

"Clean yourself up, little Diva, and go talk to your man."

Rachel sat up, nodding. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "You're right. This is silly. I should just go down there and tell him how I feel."

"Yes," Kurt said, nodding. "It's time."

Rachel stood in front of Kurt's mirror for a moment, trying to compose herself. "Do I look okay?" she asked.

"You look fine," Kurt lied. Of course she looked like she'd been crying. "Now get out of here, I'm going to go over to Blaine's to watch One Tree Hill."

Rachel nodded, then kissed Kurt on the forehead. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you too," Kurt told her. "Good luck."

Rachel smiled and left the room, walking towards Finn's door. He had the basement completely to himself now that they'd built an addition. She knocked lightly on the door as she opened it, shutting it behind her. Walking down the dark steps she saw Finn sprawled out on his bed. "Hey," she said softly when she'd reached the last step.

Finn sat up, looking at her. He could tell she'd been crying. "Hey," he said, getting up and walking to her. Taking her face in his hands he used his thumbs to wipe away tear tracks. "What's wrong baby?"

Rachel shook her head, crying again. "I love you," she told him brokenly.

Finn looked into her eyes and nodded. "I know," he told her. "I love you too."

"Do you?" she asked, putting her hands over his. "Because I can't tell."

"What are you talking about Rach?"

Trying to calm down, Rachel took a couple of deep breaths. "Why don't you ever talk about New York?" she asked him.

Finn made a face, pulling back a little. "Why would I want to talk about New York?" he asked her.

Rachel closed her eyes, biting her lip and nodding. "You don't want to go, do you?" she asked when she could.

"Rachel, look at me," he told her. She opened her eyes and met his. "What are you asking me?"

"Why don't you want to go to New York with me?" she asked. Still crying, she continued, "I thought that when you said you wanted to be with me it meant that you'd want to go, but you've never said anything about it and I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to push you but you're never going to mention it and it's breaking my heart!" Out of breath, she watched him for a reaction.

Finn felt like she'd punched him in the stomach. "You want me to go with you?" he asked her, confused.

Rachel nodded. "Of course I do," she told him. "I love you."

Finn groaned, pulling away from her and sitting on the edge of his bed. "Why didn't you say something, Rach?" he asked her. "Why did you let me think that you didn't care?"

"I never meant for you to think that," she told him, walking over to him. "I've always cared, Finn. Why would you think I didn't?"

He looked up at her. "Everyone's talking about how I'm not good enough for you, for New York, and you didn't think about talking to me about it?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked him. She took his hand. "I always hear people saying that you're too good for me and that you're wasting your time with a girl that wears animal sweaters."

He looked at her. "I love your animal sweaters."

"I know."

He shook his head. "I didn't know people were saying that. That's crazy talk. Everyone knows you're going to go to New York and be on Broadway."

"Everyone knows that you're going to get a football scholarship and move on to great things. They think my "crazy" will hold you back or make you do something you don't want to do."

"Why didn't you tell me what people were saying?"

"Why didn't you tell me what people were saying?"

Finn sighed, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. "I didn't want to bother you. I figured that you probably thought the way they did."

Rachel nodded. "I thought the same thing," she whispered.

"Since senior year started, all you've done is hang out with Kurt and Blaine and make plans. I feel like we haven't had any time together at all."

Rachel sat on his lap and put her head on his shoulder. "Most of the time when I come over here, it's just to be around you. I make up an excuse to see Kurt, but I just want to see your face."

"Why?" he asked, the question torn from him. How had things gotten so screwed up? Why couldn't they have just shown each other how much they cared? "Why did we get so messed up?"

"The summer was amazing," she told him. "But when we got back to school I started thinking about all of the things I needed to do to get ready for college." She sighed. "You know how I am. I went a little overboard for a while. And when I realized what I'd done…you were already pulling away from me."

"I didn't think you cared," he told her.

"I care," she told him, looking into his eyes. "I'll always care, Finn. You're the most important person in my life."

"God, Rach, I just-" he cut off, breathing deeply. What had he done? He couldn't go to New York with her; he'd signed away four years of his life. He laughed bitterly. If she'd said something yesterday or even this morning, everything would be different. Puck had been right; he should have talked to her.

"What is it?' she asked him.

Should he tell her? What would she say? Would she still want to be with him? "I joined the Air Force today," he said finally, looking into her eyes.

Rachel gasped, all of the air leaving her lungs. "What?"

"Puck and I signed up today. For four years."

Rachel stood up, shaking her head. "No, Finn, you didn't…tell me you didn't."

He stood up. "I'm sorry, Rach. I didn't know…I thought you were leaving without me."

"We're at war, Finn!" Rachel yelled at him.

"I know," he told her, reaching for her. She dodged his hand.

"Why would you do this?" she asked, swaying slightly on her feet. She'd never been so dizzy. Her life was over. He'd signed both of their lives away. "What about me?"

"Rachel," he said miserably, "I didn't think you wanted me."

"So instead of talking to me about it you join the Air Force?" Moving away from him again, she stumbled. Finn rushed to her, grabbing her before she fell. Holding her close to him, he dropped his head to her shoulder.

"I am so sorry," he whispered, crying. "I love you." He held her while she fought him, her fists hitting his chest and then clutching his shirt, holding on as if she'd fly away if she let go.

"No, Finn," she pleaded against his shirt. "You didn't. Tell me you didn't."

Carol came down the steps, stopping at the bottom and looking at them. "What's going on?" she asked the couple, upset. "I could hear you upstairs."

"Mom," Finn said, wiping tears from his face.

Rachel broke away from him, running past Carol and up the steps. Finn tried to go after her, but his mother's hand on his arm stopped him. "Finn," Carol said worriedly, "is Rachel pregnant?"

"What?" Finn asked, confused. Realizing what his mother had asked, he shook his head. "No."

Carol sighed in relief. "What's going on? Why is she so upset?"

Finn rubbed his face with his hands, terrified of what his mother would say when he told her. He was an idiot. "She's mad at me," he told her, hearing the front door slam.

Carol watched her son, dread curling in her stomach. Whatever this was, it wasn't good. "Why?" Finn looked around the room. Carol grabbed his chin and forced him to look into her eyes. "Why is Rachel mad?"

Finn sighed. "I joined the Air Force." Carol made a noise of surprise and sat down hard on the steps, everything going black for a moment.

"No, baby," she said, looking up at her son. He looked so much like his father it hurt her at times. "Tell me you didn't," she said, unintentionally repeating Rachel's words.

"I'm sorry, mom," he told her. "I thought about it and it just seemed like the right thing to do."

Carol shook her head. "We lost your father in a war," she told him, her voice so soft he barely heard her. "What if I lose you, too?"

"You won't lose me," he told her. "I promise."

Carol shook her head, crying. "That's what he said."

"Mom, don't cry, please," Finn begged. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I could take it back I would."

"But you can't," she said, looking up at him. "You've done this thing and you can't take it back." She stood up, hugging him tightly. "I can't look at you right now," she said, her voice clogged with tears. "I'm going to go to the shop. I'll be back later, okay?"

"Don't be mad, mom," Finn said, tears once again falling down his face. "Please."

"I'm not mad," she told him, walking up the steps. "I'm terrified." When she got to the top step she said, "I love you."

Finn watched her walk through the door, then heard the door shut. Going to his bed, he fell on it, staring up at the ceiling. He'd been so sure of his plan this morning. Now he felt like he'd ruined everyone's life.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel couldn't breathe. She couldn't see out the windshield through her tears, so she pulled over. This wasn't happening…it couldn't be. She honestly didn't know what to do or where to go. She didn't want to talk to her dads about it. She couldn't talk to Kurt or Blaine because she didn't know if Finn was going to tell Carol yet or not. Puck was one of her best friends, but if she saw him right now she might kill him with her bare hands.

Not completely sure where she was going, Rachel began driving again. Finding herself at Mr. Schue's new house, she wasn't really surprised. They all ended up here when they needed to be, didn't they?

"Rachel?" Will said, standing up from the flower bed he'd been working in. "What's wrong?"

Rachel fell into his arms, sobbing. "Will?" Emma asked from the front door.

He looked up at her. "I think I've got it," he said. She nodded and went back into the house. Will held Rachel as she cried, unsure of what he was supposed to do. When she'd calmed down a bit he pulled back to look at her. "Can you tell me what's wrong?" He was almost afraid to know, he realized. Memories of Finn coming to him when Quinn told him she was pregnant came flooding back and he knew that if Rachel was pregnant it would break his heart.

"It's Finn," she said.

"Is he okay?" Will asked, concern lacing his voice.

Rachel nodded. "But he joined the Air Force!"

Rachel started crying again and Will wrapped his arms back around her, closing his eyes. He almost wished she _had _been pregnant. What had Finn been thinking? He knew for a fact that the boy had scouts from several different colleges looking at him. And though he'd never said it out loud, Will had been rooting for Finn and Rachel to make it in New York…together. With him in the Air Force, his college dreams would be put on hold. He could spend time in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Korea. He understood Rachel's tears. "Rachel, listen," he said finally.

Rachel looked up at him, wiping some of the tears from her eyes. "I know this hurts," he told her. She nodded. "But Finn has made an important decision and he needs our support." Rachel started to shake her head but he began talking again before she could interrupt. "I know Finn. He's a lot of things, but he's not dumb. He wouldn't have done this without thinking about it very hard. He must have felt that this was the right choice."

"But it wasn't," Rachel said weakly. "It definitely wasn't."

Will sighed. "It doesn't seem like the best decision to me," he said honestly. "But I know that Finn is a great guy and his heart is always in the right place. Did you two talk about it?"

"A little," she said. "I was so upset…" She took a deep breath. "I guess I made it all about me."

"It's okay for you to be upset," Will told her. "You love him. This is a huge decision and he didn't talk to you about it before making it. But it's done, right?" She nodded. "Then you guys have to figure out where you go from here."

"I wanted him to come with me," Rachel said. "I should have told him."

Will put his hands on her shoulders. "We all make mistakes," he told her softly. "We just have to learn from them and move on."

"I don't want to move on from Finn," she told him, looking up into his eyes. "I don't know if I can."

Will nodded. "What if he'd gotten into Ohio State? You would still try to make it work, right?"

"But this isn't Ohio State," she said. "This is the Air Force. He may be a country away from me. What if something happens to him?" Eyes wide, she shook her head. "I couldn't handle it."

"Something could happen to him while playing football or driving to school," Will reminded her softly. "What's meant to be will be." He smiled at her. "Isn't that what you told me once about you and Finn?"

Rachel had been in the choir room, slumping over the piano when Will had walked in. Asking her what was wrong, she'd told him about Finn breaking up with her. "I'm sorry, Rachel," he'd told her.

Rachel had shrugged. "What's meant to be will be," she'd told him. "I believe that Finn and I will be together again."

"I'm just scared," she admitted now.

"I'm scared too," he told her. He looked up at his new house. "Life can get pretty scary sometimes." He looked at her. "But we still have to live it and do whatever we can to be happy."

Rachel nodded, looking at the road. "I think I should go talk to him again," she said.

Will smiled slightly. "Then that's what you should do."

"Thanks," she told him, smiling softly. "I'm sorry about just showing up here. I didn't know where else to go."

"It's okay," Will told her. "You guys are always welcome."

Rachel said goodbye to her teacher and got back in her car. When she got to Finn's house, the door was locked. His truck was in the driveway so she figured he was asleep. Getting the key from the fake rock they kept it under, she let herself in. She walked quietly down his steps, stopping at the foot of his bed.

She'd been right; he was asleep. She watched him for a minute, once again struck by how gorgeous he was. Every time she saw him her heart skipped a little.

Not wanting to disturb him, she slipped her shoes off and lay down beside him. He looked so peaceful in his sleep and it tugged at her heart strings. Finn was so full of life and fun and hope; for him to be somewhere far away from her fighting in a war didn't seem possible. Her heart _ached_ and she blamed herself for this mess they were now in. She wished they could just run off together, but she knew that wasn't the sort of person Finn was. He'd made a promise and he'd keep it.

Rachel watched him sleep, realizing for the first time in her life that some things were more important than her dreams of Broadway. If Finn would just say it was a joke- if he wasn't really going into the service- she knew that she would gladly give up all of those dreams and stay in Lima with him. Because, she thought, he was the greatest dream of all. She fell asleep making all sorts of deals with God, knowing in her heart that what's done is done and there was no changing it.

* * *

><p>He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but after having spent almost an entire week tossing and turning and thinking, he hadn't been able to help it. When he woke up, his first thought was that he had to find Rachel. Turning his head, he found her lying right beside him. Well that was easy.<p>

Sleeping with her head on his arm (it now made sense that he couldn't feel it), her body curved to fit next to his. Finn tightened his hold on her, pulling her closer. He knew she had been upset, and she'd had every right to be. That she was here, lying with him, proved how strong she was. They could really make this work. He knew they could.

"Stop thinking so hard," she said, sighing.

Finn smiled. "Did I wake you up?"

Rachel awkwardly turned in his arms so that she was facing him. "I guess," she said. "I just suddenly woke up and realized you were awake."

"You came back," he said softly, his eyes searching her face.

"I could never stay away from you," she said, putting her hand against his cheek.

He grinned. "You still love me?"

"No," she said. His grin faded and he looked at her, worried. "Of course I still love you," she said, laughing and rolling her eyes.

"I really am sorry, Rach," he told her.

"I know," she said, trying to swallow yet more tears. "It's all going to be okay."

Finn nodded. "I think it will be. It's all I've thought about for weeks now."

"I can't believe you didn't even mention it to me," she said sadly. "I knew you were upset about something, but you wouldn't talk to me about it."

"We messed up, but that doesn't mean we can't fix what went wrong." He pulled her close to him. "You're the only thing I think about," he told her. "That's not going to change just because we'll be apart."

Rachel's chin quivered. "What about "out of sight, out of mind?"" she asked him.

"What about "absence makes the heart grow fonder?"" he countered. He looked at her, squinting his eyes. "Wait a minute. Are you saying you're going to forget about me as soon as I leave?"

Rachel felt a pain in her heart at the thought of him leaving. "Never," she told him firmly.

"We still have the rest of the school year to be together." Rachel nodded, unable to speak over the lump in her throat. "I'm not letting you go," he told her fiercely. "No matter where I am…no matter where you are, you're my girl. Okay? Forever."

At the top of the steps, Carol turned into Burt's arms, trying to stifle the sounds of her sobs. Burt held her, pulling her away from the door. "He's going to be okay," he told her, rubbing her back.

"But what if he's not?" she asked quietly. "What if he never comes back?"

"He will."

"It's just so familiar," she told him. "Rachel isn't pregnant, but everything else is the same."

Burt closed his eyes, nodding. "I know, babe," he told her. "It's scary, I know."

"What's going on?" Kurt asked, walking into the kitchen. He looked around, not seeing Finn. Putting his hand to his mouth he asked, "What happened to Finn? Is he okay?"

Carol pulled away from Burt, wiping her face. "Finn is fine," she told him, smiling weakly through her tears.

"So what's going on?" Kurt asked, his heartbeat slowly returning to normal. Rachel and Finn came into the room holding hands, and Kurt could tell Rachel was upset. "Dear God, you're pregnant!"

"What?" Rachel asked, confused.

"No," Finn told his brother, embarrassed. He looked sheepishly at his mom and Burt. Did everyone just assume they had sex? Maybe they should, just to keep up with his family's imagination.

Ignoring his brother's discomfort, Kurt crossed his arms. "What's happening here?" he asked, frustrated and stomping his foot.

Rachel looked at Finn, who was rubbing the back of his neck. "I joined the Air Force."

Kurt's expression didn't change; in fact, he didn't move at all. Rachel wasn't sure he was breathing. She knew exactly how he felt. Kurt shook his head, as if to clear it. "But you're coming to New York with us," he said dumbly.

Finn shook his head, putting his hands in his jean pockets. "Not right now."

"When, then?" Kurt demanded. "When will you be in New York?"

"In four years?"

"In four years," Kurt said, not blinking. "Well that's lovely." With that, he turned on his heel and left the kitchen, running to his room.

"Kurt," Finn said, watching him go. He looked down at Rachel and she nodded, so he followed his brother.

When he was out of the room, Rachel looked at Carol. "It's going to be okay, right?" The tears that seemed to never go away were once again falling down her face.

"Oh, honey," Carol said, moving towards Rachel and hugging her. "I hope so."


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt was still ignoring him. It has been three weeks and his brother hadn't said one word to him. Finn watched him now, singing a duet with Blaine, and wondered if Kurt realized how much he missed him. He was even making his own warm milk before bed now, something he hadn't realized he'd come to depend on; almost as much as his and Kurt's recaps of the day. He didn't have a brother, then he had a brother and it was awesome, and now he was back to not having one. It sucked.

Rachel squeezed his hand and he looked over at her, grateful for her small show of support. After her initial breakdown, she'd been his rock. He fell a little more in love with her every day, and as the time he'd be leaving her got closer he got more and more sure he couldn't do it.

Surprisingly, joining the military had done what nothing else had been able to accomplish; earn Finn and Puck some respect. No more slushies, no more mid morning beat downs, no more name calling. _That _was definitely a perk. Watching the news at night made it seem like an insignificant one.

Mr. Schue had talked to both of the boys about the possibility of getting out of actually going, but Puck and Finn agreed; they'd signed up, they'd sworn in, and they were going. They weren't backing out of it, even though they were both struggling with leaving- though they were struggling for very different reasons.

Finn didn't want to leave Rachel, but Puck had found another reason for dreading their departure date. Because besides not being bullied, enlisting had brought about another strange development; girls were suddenly all over them. Finn found it terrifying. They were _everywhere_. He'd even been cornered in the boy's bathroom by two determined Cheerios. Puck however…well, he loved every minute of it. He exaggerated (Finn hoped) the risk they'd be in once they were stationed wherever they were stationed. He told the girls they'd be jumping out of planes into enemy territory, fly through enemy infested air, travel to scary third world countries; it all made Finn want to find Rachel and hug her and never let her go. It all made Puck a very lucky man.

Rachel was shaking her head, complaining about something Kurt was saying. Finn wasn't paying attention, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her as she stood up and walked to the piano. She'd seen the other girls all over him; a couple of times she'd almost fought with girls who wouldn't give up quickly enough. Finn hated that because he knew Rachel disliked physical violence, but he had to admit it was hot. He was worried, though, that while she wasn't saying anything about it, it was bothering her. Normally he'd talk to Kurt about something like this, but his brother was being a little girl about everything and Finn didn't want to mention it to anyone else.

He could always just ask her, of course. This gigantic mess he'd gotten himself into should have been a lesson to him in always being upfront with his girlfriend. But he was afraid that if he brought it up and it hadn't been a problem, bringing it up would make it one. He wasn't sure if that even made sense, but it was what he worried about.

Rachel's voice cut through his thoughts and he listened to it, smiling. Her voice always moved him, more than anything else in the world ever had. He'd known from the moment they started singing "Don't Stop Believing" that Rachel was different, even though he'd tried like hell to convince himself he was wrong. At the time, he was pretty certain she was crazy. Watching her now, he chuckled quietly to himself when he realized that her "crazy" was one of the things he loved about her. She was so passionate about everything…especially him.

Since he'd known her, Rachel had gone out of her way to let him know that she thought he was special. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been to think that she'd changed her mind. He hadn't been strong enough to handle her spending so much time planning the future, and at first that realization had made him paranoid that they wouldn't make it being away from each other. He still worried about it, but he knew when he looked into her eyes that she loved him as much as he loved her. They _would_ make it…right?

"You've looked at her like that for three years now," Mercedes said beside him.

"What?" Finn asked, looking at her.

"At Rachel," Mercedes said, smiling a little. "For the past three years you've always had the same look on your face when she was singing."

Finn smiled crookedly, glancing at his girlfriend. "What kind of a look is it?" he asked, curious.

"It's the look of love," she said, shrugging.

"That's probably because I love her," he said teasingly.

"Even when you weren't supposed to," she said, sitting back in her chair. "When you were dating Quinn or when she was dating Jesse or Puck…you always watched her like that, no matter who either of you were dating."

Finn watched her. "What are you trying to say?"

She shrugged. "No one knows what's going to happen after high school. We're all going different places. Maybe something will happen and you two take a break for a while." She looked at him. "No matter what happens, remember this moment. Remember that for you, it's always been Rachel."

"You don't think we'll make it?"

"I think," she said, looking at Rachel, "that it's hard to make a long distance relationship work. Even without the trust issues, there's the loneliness that comes with it. Now you're both strong people; two of the strongest I've ever known. But if there ever comes a time when you doubt how you feel or how important it is to you…" she gestured to Rachel, "remember this."

Finn nodded, looking at Rachel. He'd lain awake many nights wondering just how hard it was going to be. He alternated between complete and total despair and (though he'd never admit it) a bit of excitement. This was his chance to see who he was without Rachel; she'd been the reason he'd become the man he was now and he honestly wondered if he'd be strong enough to still be that person without her presence.

When she'd finished singing, Rachel looked at Kurt haughtily, and the boy laughed and nodded. Apparently Rachel had been right about whatever it was they were arguing about. Shocker. Finn grinned and looked at his friend. "I'll remember."

Mercedes nodded, standing up to sing her song. "Sometimes Kurt can be so exasperating!" Rachel said, sitting back down beside him.

She was still talking but Finn leaned over and kissed her, shutting her up. Rachel smiled into the kiss and pulled away. "What was that for?" she asked.

Finn shrugged, putting his arm over her legs and watching Mercedes. "I love you."

Rachel stared at his profile for a moment, still smiling. "I love you too," she said finally, then put her arm on his shoulder to listen to her friend sing.

After class they both stood up, gathering their stuff. "You have early practice today, right?" Rachel asked him.

Finn nodded. "Still want me to come over after?"

Rachel beamed at him. "I always want you to come over." She looked at the door, biting her lip.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"I was wondering if…maybe you could spend the night?" she asked him, blushing and putting her head down.

"Wait, what?"

Rachel shrugged. "It's just that my dads are going to be gone again and I thought that maybe you'd want to?"

Finn stared at her for a moment, his mouth open. "Won't they kill me?"

"No, they trust me."

Finn felt like a jackass. Of course they trusted her; they knew that Rachel wasn't planning on having sex until she was 25. She wasn't asking him to stay over for sex; she just wanted him to stay over. "I'll run by my house and grab some clothes for tomorrow."

"Will your mom care?"

Finn shook his head. "I'll ask her but I know she won't." He was always honest with his mother, so she'd know when he told her nothing would happen he meant it.

"Okay," Rachel said, smiling at him again. Finn looked around, seeing that everyone else had left the room. Before she realized what he was doing he'd picked her up, swinging her around. "Finn!" she cried, giggling.

Kissing her as he sat her down, he looked into her eyes as he pulled back. "Think about me," he told her, winking.

"Maybe," she said, grinning.

Finn looked into her eyes. "Think about me," he said again.

Rachel nodded, leaning up to kiss him again. "I will," she whispered against his lips.

She watched him walk out, touching her lips. After three years, he still caused her heart to race. That had to mean something, right? She walked out of the choir room, her thoughts on the night ahead. "Hey Berry," a girl said behind her.

Rachel turned around, a smile still on her face. "Yes?"

Two Cheerios approached her. "Did your boyfriend tell you how much fun we had in the boy's bathroom?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and turned around. "Girls, you're going to have to get a new line."

The Cheerios walked beside her. "So he didn't tell you," one of them purred.

"No, he told me," Rachel said, stopping at her locker. "He and Noah laughed about it at lunch yesterday." Rachel looked at them. "Noah said he heard Finn yelling "rape" as he passed the bathroom and he had to come in and save Finn." She tsked. "You girls should stop selling yourselves so short. I'm sure there's a guy or two around here who wouldn't mind dating a girl that throws herself at any and every guy she sees."

"You little bitch," the blonde cheerleader said, pushing Rachel into her locker.

Rachel dropped her books and glared at the girls. "Push me again," she said, her eyes flashing. Up until recently, Rachel had never had the desire to hit another person. Now it seemed like all she wanted to do.

The darker haired girl stepped toward Rachel but was abruptly pulled back by her ponytail. "What the hell is going on here?" Santana yelled, throwing the girl into the locker.

"This midget is messing with us," the blonde cheerleader said.

Santana cocked her head, looking at Rachel. "These little tramps bothering you, Rach?"

Rachel shook her head. "I can handle them."

"Mmm hmm," Santana said, staring at the two cheerleaders. "And get suspended before Regional's? Not happening." She pushed the blonde girl against the locker beside her friend. "Listen up, bitches, and listen well. This," she said, pointing to Rachel, "is one of my best friends. If you mess with her, you mess with me." She smiled, and it was terrifying. "And you _don't _want to mess with me. Got it?" The two girls nodded. When they tried to move away, Santana pushed them back in place. "If I hear about _any _of you underclassmen skanks trying to mess with her boy Hudson again, _that _means you've messed with me too. Got that?" They nodded again. "Pass it along," she said.

The girls ran off and Santana winked at Rachel. "I'm the only one that gets to call you a midget," she said.

Rachel rolled her eyes and picked up her books. "Thanks, Satan."

"No problem," she said, walking with Rachel to their next class. "So how are you dealing with the throng of adolescent girls who are trying to get in your boys panties?"

"Boxers, Santana. Finn wears boxers. You should know," she said archly, cocking her eyebrow at the other girl.

"Please, Finnocence and I have both tried our best to put that miserable event out of our minds." She looked at Rachel and put her hand on the other girls arm, stopping in the hallway. "I'm being serious, Rachel. I was wondering how you're doing."

Rachel took a deep breath. She and Santana had someone become friends, though it came out of left field and made no sense. "It's driving me crazy," she admitted. "Especially Sugar. I'm going to kill her before we graduate, and then do life in prison for murder."

"Sugar is a pain in the ass. I think she still blames you for her not making it into Glee." Santana shrugged. "You want me to talk to her?"

Rachel shook her head. "I think I'm going to."

Santana sighed. "Don't get suspended, okay? That would suck." They started walking. "What's she doing that's so bad? I mean, those two cheerleaders tried to rape your boyfriend and you weren't trying to decide where to bury their bodies."

They got into the classroom and sat down. "When she tried out for Glee Club, I noticed Finn smiling at her," Rachel said lowly, not wanting to be overhead. "I don't even think he realized he was doing it, but he definitely noticed her. You know?" Santana nodded. "Just because we're together doesn't mean we've suddenly become blind. There are times that I catch myself looking at Noah, thinking about how handsome he is." Rachel blushed. "Please, _please_, never mention that to anyone."

Santana shook her head. "I won't. Continue."

"I would never date Noah again. I have absolutely no interest in any other guy but Finn…but I can appreciate a nice looking guy. Does that make sense?"

Santana nodded. "I'm in love with Brittany, but I still stare at Puck sometimes too." She laughed. "He's hot."

"Exactly!" Rachel said. "Anyway, I can understand Finn noticing that Sugar is an attractive girl. That's okay." She put her face in her hands for a moment, blowing out a breath. "It's just that Sugar seems to know that Finn thinks she's attractive and makes a big deal out of it. She's never come right out and said anything; it's just the way she is around him."

"Sneaky bitch," Santana said, nodding.

"Yeah. Finn doesn't even notice it. I think that after his first moment of "she's hot" he didn't think about it again. But what if her constantly putting herself out there finally catches his attention?"

"It won't," Santana said confidently.

"You can't know that, though," Rachel said, opening her book.

"I do know that," Santana said, sitting up and looking at Rachel. "The other Cheerios and I- Sugar included- are on the football field with the team every day. He never even glances over at us. Never. Some of the girls even made a bet; whoever got Finn Hudson to show some interest won the pot."

Rachel glared at her. "Hey, I didn't know about it until they'd all given up," Santana said. She leaned towards her friend. "No one won, because it was impossible."

"Really?' Rachel said, smiling.

"Would I make up something that disgustingly sweet?"

"You make a valid point," Rachel said. "Thanks again, I guess."

"Ingrate," Santana muttered, smiling a little.


	4. Chapter 4

Knowing that Rachel was waiting for him, Finn showered quickly after practice and made a mad dash to his house for clothes. Assuring his mother that Rachel wasn't going to end up pregnant- seriously, what was _with _everyone? - he made it to her house in record time. Walking up the steps to her door, he couldn't help but smile.

Rachel opened the door, taking in his smile and his overnight bag. "Sleepover time?" she asked.

"Looks that way," he told her. "Just don't make me watch any movie with Barbra Streisand in it, I'm begging you," he said as he walked into the house. He bent down and kissed her, then started up the stairs to put his bag up.

Rachel followed him, blushing when she realized she was watching his butt. When did she turn into a guy? "How was practice?" she asked him.

"Coach made us run the entire two hours." He put his bag down beside her bed and turned around to look at her. "I thought I was going to die," he said, smiling and walking to her, putting his arms around her waist. "Thoughts of sleeping beside my beautiful girlfriend helped me pull through."

Rachel grinned, shaking her head. "Lies," she said.

"Scouts honor," he said, raising his hand.

Rachel put her head against his chest. "You were never a scout," she reminded him.

"Oh yeah," he said, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I think it still counts, though."

Rachel closed her eyes and laughed. His thumbs moved under her shirt, lightly rubbing her back. Rachel got goose bumps all over her body at his touch. She walked him back towards her bed, falling onto it with him when he reached it. "Hey," she said, looking down into his eyes.

"Hey," he said, watching her.

Rachel lowered her head until her lips lightly brushed his. Wrapping one arm around her, Finn cupped the back of her head with his other hand, deepening the kiss. Every part of his body was aware of every part of her body and he couldn't seem to stop his hand from moving up the back of her shirt. Her skin was smooth and warm, and she was so tiny that his hand almost covered her entire back.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked him, raising her head.

"You're so small and perfect," he told her, lifting his head to kiss her again.

When he dropped his head back down Rachel sat on top of him, looking at him. "What?" he asked, hoping she came back down. He wasn't through kissing her.

Rachel was still for so long Finn started to get worried. When he opened his mouth to say something else he was silenced by the sight of her taking her shirt off. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but for the life of him he couldn't shut it.

Rachel watched him, taking in the shocked expression that quickly turned to pure lust. Finn put his hands around her waist, marveling at how tiny she really was. Moving them upwards, he cupped his hands around her breasts, over her bra. Rachel, still not taking her eyes off of him, reached behind her and unclasped her bra, letting the straps slowly slide down her arms. Finn moved his hands and let the bra fall off of her, then brushed his thumbs over her dark nipples.

There were so many things he was confused about and so many things he knew he should ask her, but his brain had shut down and the only thing he could think about was the fact that she didn't have a shirt on and that she had the most perfect breasts he'd ever seen…and he'd seen plenty. Puck had kept him supplied with Playboys since they were 12.

Finn grabbed her waist, rolling her under him. He settled himself between her legs, his eyes still on her chest. "Beautiful," he said, his mouth moving to tease each one. Rachel gasped as his tongue flicked over her nipple, surprised at the heat that moved through her body. A strong tug of desire pulled at her stomach and she arched up, rubbing against him.

Finn closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. "What are we doing, Rach?" he said huskily. "I can't…I don't want to stop, but if we're going to we have to stop now."

He opened his eyes and looked into hers. "I don't want to stop," she told him.

"I thought you wanted to wait until you're 25?" he asked, conscious of the heat radiating off of her skin.

Rachel smiled at him. "You thought I wanted to wait until I was 25 and you're still with me?"

"Well, yeah," he said, confused. "I love you."

Rachel cupped his face with her hands, rising to kiss him. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

Finn shook his head, trying to clear it. "So you don't want to wait until you're 25?"

"I don't want to wait at all."

"But your dads trust you," he said, his hand absently running over her stomach.

Rachel nodded, biting her lip. He might not be aware of his hands movements, but she was. "I told them I was ready," she said, catching her breath when his fingertips grazed her nipple. "They sent me to the doctor and put me on birth control."

Finn stared at her, shocked. "So…they're okay with it?"

Rachel shrugged. "They know that I love you, and they know that it's going to happen. They wanted me to be safe, so they helped me."

"I love your dads," he said seriously.

Rachel laughed, then moved her hips against his again. "Why don't you love me instead?"

Finn didn't smile, looking into her eyes. "Are you sure, Rach?" he asked.

She nodded slightly. "I'm sure."

"I don't know what I'm doing," he admitted. "I'm afraid it will be bad." Sure, he'd watched porn a few times; he just couldn't get into it. Still, he knew what a man was supposed to do. He thought. With Santana, everything had pretty much been a blur; he'd been so nervous and she'd just taken over and then it _was _over…and he'd felt like shit.

Rachel put her hands under his shirt, moving them over his chest. "It won't be bad," she said, "because it will be with you."

Finn lowered his head and kissed her tenderly, his lips teasing hers. "I can't believe how lucky I am," he told her.

"I'm the lucky one," she whispered. Finn shook his head and she smiled. "Agree to disagree?"

"Agree to disagree," he said, smiling crookedly.

Rachel helped him take off his shirt, then lifted her hips so he could slide her skirt off. When she was under him in nothing but a pair of panties with stars on them, Finn had to close his eyes for a minute. It was hard for him to keep it together when this was all he'd ever wanted or dreamed about.

He moved down on the bed until his lips were on her stomach, right above her underwear. Kissing her stomach, he moved up, his lips tracing her ribs, then again finding her breasts. Rachel moaned, her fingers holding on to his hair. His lips moved up her neck until they met hers again. Rising, he clumsily removed his pants, almost falling. Rachel smiled, shaking her head. When he'd removed his clothes, he stood beside the bed, watching her.

Rachel gasped when she saw all of him for the first time. She'd had Anatomy; she knew what a man looked like. She'd had Sex Education; she knew what went on between a man and a woman. Looking at her boyfriend unclothed for the first time, she realized that she really didn't know anything.

Moving to her knees on the edge of the bed, she ran her hands over his chest and stomach, her nails lightly tracing the line of his muscles. Finn held his breath, watching her. When she put her lips to his skin, he had to close his eyes. When her tongue moved over his flat nipple, his eyes popped open again. "Rach," he said lowly, reaching for her.

Rachel moved away from his hands. "Let me," she said. He nodded, clenching his jaw. She was trying to kill him; this was his punishment for joining the Air Force. Her hands moved over his shoulders and down his back. When he felt her hand lightly circle him, he jerked back. "I can't," he told her, breathing hard. "I can't handle that, Rach."

"Okay," she said. "Later, though?"

"Later."

Rachel nodded and lay back down on the bed, easing out of her underwear and tossing it to the floor beside the bed. Finn stood there for a moment, just looking at her, trying to regain control of himself.

Climbing on the bed, he once again settled between her legs. She wrapped her legs around him instinctively, and his hands tightened on her thighs, moving up to cup her butt.

Rachel felt him against her and looked into his eyes. Her heart was beating too fast and she was terribly nervous. "Are you scared?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "Not really scared," she told him softly. "Just nervous."

Finn nodded. "Me too." Moving his hand from her butt, he ran it along her leg, watching her face for signs of unease. As much as he wanted this to happen, he had to be sure it was what Rachel really wanted.

She gasped when his hand moved farther up, then shrieked a little when his thumb found the tiny bundle of nerves at her center. "Okay?" he asked.

Rachel nodded, confused about what was going on with her body. She'd never felt anything like this. When his thumb continued to move against her, she felt heat shoot through her. Wide eyed, she looked at him. He smiled at her and kept doing what he was doing, lowering his lips to her chest. Kissing the center of her chest, his lips lazily moved to her breast and he sucked gently. Rachel moaned, moving her hips against his hand. Finn's lips moved to her neck and his teeth lightly nipped the skin where her shoulder and neck met. Licking the spot he'd just bitten, he smiled as she moaned again.

As the heat continued to build in her body, Rachel's breathing became harsher. She began to pant, unable to control the movement of her hips under him or the sounds coming from her mouth. Just watching her come undone almost sent Finn over the edge. When she opened her eyes to look at him, he slid slowly inside her.

Rachel cried out, surprised at the sharp pain. She'd known it was supposed to hurt but wasn't prepared for how much. She closed her eyes, not wanting Finn to see the tears in them.

"Look at me, Rachel," he said softly. "Please."

Rachel slowly opened her eyes, feeling the tears leak out of the corners of them. "I'm so sorry, baby," he told her, kissing the tears. She noticed that his entire body was trembling.

"It's okay," she said. "I'm okay." In truth, she didn't feel okay at all. He was so large, and she didn't know if they would ever be able to do this without it hurting.

"It's not okay," he said, kissing her. The moment he'd slid into her, Finn had almost lost it. Nothing he'd ever read, watched or heard compared to it. Feeling her contracting around him, he'd almost kept moving. But her soft cry of pain had changed everything. He couldn't enjoy himself if Rachel was hurting.

Kissing her, his hand once again began moving against her. He felt her tighten around him as she moaned his name against his lips. Still, his body didn't move. He pulled his head back, watching her. With her head tilted back and her eyes closed, he was able to lower his head and suck lightly on her neck. She sighed, her hips moving up against his.

Her eyes flew open and they stared at each other. Rachel opened her mouth to say something, but only moaned again as he moved slightly inside her. _What was that?_ she wondered to herself. The heat that she'd felt earlier was back, only this time different; this time…more. He filled her completely, his body something she'd never known she was missing. She arched her back, pushing her hips into his and he groaned. "Rachel," he said, leaning over to kiss her.

When she was gasping beneath him, moaning his name and rolling her hips into his, Finn finally began to move in earnest. Thrusting into her, he kept his eyes on her face, never wanting to forget this moment. Rachel screamed, her body convulsing around him, and he smiled. Holding onto her hips with both hands he rammed into her, finally able to let go. He shouted her name, the room spinning around him. Breathing heavily, he dropped his head to her shoulder, still propped up on his elbows.

When he'd finally caught his breath and the room stopped moving around him he lifted his head, smiling down at her. "Best. Sleepover. Ever." Rachel laughed, pulling his head down for a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

He'd thought that after he'd slept with Rachel the constant wanting would ease, but the opposite was true. His body missed her body every moment they weren't touching. If they touched a lot before, it was nothing compared to the way they were together now. His hands were always on her back, her leg, her stomach; his lips loved to tease the spot where her ear met her neck.

"Get a room," Kurt said as he walked through the Hudmel living room. Rachel and Finn had been watching…something, but he'd quickly convinced her that he was more interesting than whatever was going on on screen.

"Kurt," Rachel said, embarrassed.

"Rachel," Kurt said drolly, going into the kitchen.

Rachel looked at Finn. "You should try to talk to him again," she told him.

After they'd won Regional's, he'd been sure Kurt would be so excited that he'd have to talk to him. When he'd gone to hug his brother, the other boy had turned away. Finn had stood on the stage with his arms out, watching him walk off. "Yeah, that's been working really well for me," Finn said, sighing.

"Go," she said, taking her legs off of his lap. She laughed when he pouted and pointed to the kitchen.

Finn got up and walked into the other room. "Hey," he said, leaning against the door.

Kurt turned around to look at him, then turned back to the refrigerator. Pulling out a container of yogurt, he grabbed a spoon and sat down at the island to eat it. "How long is this going to last?" Finn asked, walking to the opposite side of the island and sitting down, facing his brother. "I miss you."

Kurt looked down at his yogurt, taking a bite. "You made plans to leave us for four years," he finally said, looking straight into Finn's eyes. "You must have thought you'd be able to go for much longer without talking to me."

Finn shook his head. "I'm never going to go without talking to you, Kurt," he said. "I'll still talk to you every day."

Kurt's chin quivered. "If you don't die or something."

"I'm going to try to not die," Finn told him, smiling a little. "I'm going to try really hard."

"Yes, well, let's hope you succeed," Kurt said dismissively.

"Kurt, man, look at me," Finn pleaded softly.

Kurt sighed and looked up again. "What?"

"I love you. You're my brother and I love you and I miss you, which is stupid because we're both right here."

"I love you, too," Kurt said, putting his spoon down. "This whole thing…it's just…it's just hard for me. You're not a fighter, Finn."

"I can be," Finn told him. "If it's important enough."

"You're leaving right after graduation, right?" Kurt asked him. Finn looked down. "What? What does that look mean?"

"Puck and I have talked to our recruiter about a few things…" Finn said.

"Are you going to try to get out of going?" Kurt asked excitedly.

"No," Finn said, running his hands through his hair.

Kurt looked at him. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"It's just…all of the other jobs seem sort of lame, you know? If I'm going to be in the Air Force, I want to do something cool."

"You sound like a six year old," Kurt said, watching his brother.

"Never mind," Finn said, pushing his chair away from the island.

"No, tell me. I want to know," Kurt said, putting his hand on Finn's arm to stop him.

Finn looked toward the living room, then back at Kurt. "There's a program for Pararescue," he said lowly. "But to get into it, you have to have 15 hours of college credits. Puck and I are thinking about going to go to the community college here and get them, with the Air Force paying for it."

Kurt stared at him for a moment, mouth open. "So you're staying here for the summer to get enough school credits to jump out of helicopters."

"Exactly," Finn said smiling.

"You're an idiot!" Kurt told him, yelling.

"Keep your voice down," Finn told his brother, looking back towards the living room. "Look, I'm not an idiot, okay? This is something I really want to do."

Kurt was shaking his head. "Why, Finn? Why on earth would you want to do something like this?"

"I just want to be important," he told Kurt. "I just want to do something that matters."

"You matter," Kurt told him. "You matter to all of us. You don't have anything to prove to any of us."

"I have things that I have to prove to myself," Finn told him.

"But at what cost?" Kurt said sadly. "What are you willing to sacrifice to do these things?"

Finn propped his elbows on the table, putting his face in his hands. "You know who you are and what you want, Kurt. I don't. I don't have a clue. I'm just trying to figure it all out the best way I can." He looked at the other boy. "When I'm done, the Air Force will pay for college in New York and hopefully by then I'll know what I'm doing."

"What if we're not still in New York? What if Rachel finds some other man who is actually _here_- or there, you know what I mean- and doesn't want you anymore?"

Finn looked at him sadly. "I know that's a possibility," he said. "And if that happens I'll try to be happy for her. I'll still go to school in New York, because for some reason that's become my dream too."

Kurt looked into his eyes. "I wish you weren't doing this," he told his brother. "I wish every night that you weren't doing this."

"I know," Finn told him. "And I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

Kurt nodded. "I'm guessing you haven't told Rachel the new plan?"

Finn grimaced. "Not yet. Tonight, though. I'm taking her to Breadstix and then we're just going to go riding around, maybe head to the lake. I'll talk her then."

"She's not going to be happy."

"I know," Finn said, standing up. "But we'll get the summer together, right?"

"Prolonging the inevitable," Kurt told him. "Never ends well."

"Thanks for the pep talk," Finn said, grinning ruefully. "Are we good?"

Kurt watched him for a minute. "We're good."

Finn smiled widely, walking around and hugging Kurt. Kurt held him tightly. "I've missed you, too," Kurt told him.

"Warm milk conference tonight?"

Kurt laughed, pulling back. "That sounds lovely."

Rachel came to the door, leaning against it and smiling. "I like what I'm seeing," she said.

"I like what I'm seeing too," Finn said, winking when Kurt groaned beside him.

"Time for me to leave," he said, kissing Rachel on the forehead as he went to his room. "You kids be good."

Rachel smiled, watching him leave, then looked at Finn. "I told you," she said, walking towards him and putting her arms around his waist.

"You're so smart," he replied, kissing her lightly.

"Mmm hmm," she said, smiling. "Are you ready to go? I'm starving."

Finn nodded, putting his arm around her shoulder. "Hey, Rach," he said, stopping her before they reached the door. The conversation he'd just had with Kurt made him nervous. She turned, looking into his eyes. "I love you," he said sincerely. "So much."

Rachel nodded softly, smiling. "I love you too."

He'd been quiet at the restaurant and on the drive to the lake. Rachel hadn't minded, though, because she had a lot of things on her own mind. She knew he thought she was strong, but the truth was…she was going to break at any minute. She was trying her best to not become clingy, but she really wanted to just grab him and never let him go. She cried herself to sleep every night, and he wasn't even gone yet.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked her, taking her hand and kissing it.

Rachel smiled at him. "Of course."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just wondering if I'll ever hear from NYADA," she lied.

"You know you will," Finn told her confidently. "They loved your audition." He smiled at her before looking back at the road. "I loved your audition, too.'

Rachel smiled, burying her face in his shoulder. "You're biased."

"You're amazing."

They got to the spot they always parked at and Finn backed the truck to the lake's edge. Rachel hopped out, taking the blankets they'd brought and spreading them out in the truck bed. Finn tossed their pillows in the back, then offered to help Rachel up. "Thank you, sir," she said.

They lay on the blankets, looking up at the stars and listening to the waves hit the shore. It had become their favorite thing to do; it was beautiful and peaceful and quiet. Everything else in their lives had gotten so loud; the quiet was what they needed most of all.

"I need to talk to you about something," Finn told her, looking at the moon.

"Okay," Rachel said, turning her head to look at him. "What is it?'

"I haven't made a decision yet, because I'm not going to make any more without talking to you first." He sighed, then looked over at her. "Just hear me out, okay?"

Rachel nodded. "I'm listening."

"There are all sorts of jobs in the Air Force and some of them are really cool. I did better on the ASVAB than I thought I would, so I could actually get into some of the more interesting ones." Rachel nodded again and he continued. "But what I really want to do…Rachel, I really want to go into Pararescue. I've researched it and talked to the recruiter and talked to one of the guys in town who did it. It's just…it's just something that I think I would love. Plus it would test me, you know? It would force me to decide who I really am."

Rachel was silent, watching him. Pararescue? She wasn't sure what that was, but from the sounds of it, it was dangerous. "So…what are you saying? What are you asking me?"

"If I went into that, it would be more dangerous." He noticed her face change, even in soft light of the moon. "No, don't look like that. I would be okay, Rach. Lots of guys do it and never get hurt; they're fine."

"I'm sure that there are lots of guys who do it that _do _get hurt," she said shakily, sitting up. "Why, Finn? Why this?"

Finn sat up too, looking at her. "Rachel, this just feels right." He took a deep breath. "If you're totally against the idea, I won't do it. I'll tell the recruiter tomorrow that I've changed my mind and I'm not interested."

"And then you'd come to despise me for holding you back," Rachel said, shaking her head. "Either way, I lose."

"No, baby," he told her, taking her hands. "I could never despise you."

Rachel laughed without humor. "That's what you say and that's probably what you think." She shook her head, looking up at the stars. Tears streaked down her face and she didn't even try to wipe them off. "When I think about losing you, it hurts me. I feel like I can't breath and I have to sit down." She looked at him. "But I want you to be happy. I want you to live your life in the way that you want to. If this is what you want to do, then I want you to do it."

Finn watched her, uncertain. "I'll have to stay in Lima this summer, go to community college to get 15 credits." She watched him. "Will you help me?" he asked softly, moving her hair away from her face.

Rachel rose on her knees, looking down at him. "I will always stand by you," she told him, straddling him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "And I will always help you."

Finn kissed her, then put his head on her shoulder. "Everything seems to be moving so fast," he told her. "I feel like my life is going in all sorts of directions and I can't stop it." He pulled back to look at her. "You're the only thing that keeps me grounded."

"I feel the same way," she told him, running her hand through his hair. "But I'm afraid that when you're gone I'm just going to lose it. What will I have to hold on to?"

"Me, Rach," he whispered, looking up at her. "You'll still have me."

"Aren't you scared?" she asked him.

Finn nodded. "Sometimes. But you make me feel like I can do anything."

Rachel smiled. "Like you're Superman," she teased. "Complete with caped kisses."

"Exactly." He said, grinning. She lowered her head to kiss him again and he held her tightly. He wanted to sear this moment into his brain; it was perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

Things were decidedly _not _perfect, Finn thought as he dodged another pillow. "Rachel, can we just talk about it?"

"Talk about what, Finn?" she yelled, out of breath. "What is there to say when I _saw _you kiss her?"

Finn held his hands up, walking closer to her. "It wasn't like that," he told her.

Rachel took a deep breath that caught on a sob. "How could you?" she asked miserably. "How could you kiss her?"

"I didn't kiss her, Rach," he said again, the look on her face breaking his heart. "Please, baby, listen to me."

Rachel sat on the ground hard, putting her face in her hands and sobbing. "Don't touch me," she said when he'd gotten closer.

She'd meant to surprise him after practice, so she'd sat in the bleachers and watched the team practice. After Finn and his friends came out of the locker room, she'd stood up and waved at him. He hadn't seen her, though. His eyes were on Sugar, who ran towards him. He smiled at her and she jumped into his arms, kissing him. Rachel turned away and ran, dropping her keys against one of the bleachers. She heard Finn yelling for her to stop but she'd picked them up, gotten in her car and driven home, tears scalding her face.

"You smiled at her," Rachel said, still not able to look at him. "You were smiling."

"I smile at a lot of people, Rachel," he said quietly, sitting down beside her and putting his head against her bed. "I had no idea she was going to kiss me. I've never even really talked to the girl." He looked over at her. "Why can't you trust me?"

"Because I saw it," she said, looking up at him.

"How are you going to trust me when I'm gone?"

"How can I?" she asked, heartbroken.

"You don't mean that," he said. "You know you can trust me."

"I saw the way you looked at her when she tried out for Glee Club," Rachel told him. "You were leering at her."

"What?" he asked, confused. "Sugar?"

Rachel nodded. "Don't deny it, Finn, I saw it with my own two eyes."

Finn sighed. "Rachel, I honestly don't remember ever looking at her. I love _you_. You're everything that I need and everything that I could ever want." He moved his hand to hers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "Why can't you believe that?"

"You're so handsome," she said, putting her head back against her dresser and looking at him. "So many girls want you, Finn. Sugar is hot, right? Why wouldn't you want to be with her?"

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever known," he told her forcefully. "You're perfect, Rach. Everything about you was made just for me," he leaned up, looking into her eyes. "In all those crappy love movies you make me watch, they say that there's one person made for each of us. You're my one."

Rachel began crying again, crawling over to him and falling into his arms. "I'm sorry," she said, crying against his shirt. "I just keep waiting for things to fall apart and when I saw her kiss you, I thought this was it."

Finn held her, kissing her head. "Baby, we're not going to fall apart. This is forever, okay?"

Rachel nodded, breathing him in. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He pulled back and looked at her. "Why were you there today?"

"Oh," she said, smiling. "I wanted you to be the first to know." She moved away, reaching for her bag. Pulling an envelope out of it, she handed it to him.

"NYADA," Finn said, reading the return address. He looked at Rachel. "You're in?" he asked, smiling widely.

"I'm in," she said, laughing.

Finn stood, picking her up and swinging her around. "I knew you could do it," he told her, kissing her. "I knew it."

"I don't want to tell everyone yet," she said, taking the letter from him.

"Why not?"

She shrugged. "I don't know if Kurt got in yet or not. I want to wait to see what happens."

Finn hugged her. "Hopefully he got the same letter. But if he didn't, he still got into a couple of schools there."

Rachel nodded. "It may change whether or not we can live together though," she said worriedly. "Some schools make freshmen live on campus."

"Do you have to live on campus?" Finn asked her.

"No, I can get my own apartment," she said, sitting back down between his legs. "But if Kurt isn't going to be living with me, I'm not sure I want to."

"Yeah, I don't know about you living by yourself," he said. "What about Blaine?"

Rachel shrugged. "He applied but he doesn't feel like he did very well in his audition." She looked at Finn. "Wouldn't it be cool if all three of us got in?"

"What's the likelihood of that, Rach?" Finn asked. "I think both Kurt and Blaine need to look at other options."

"I didn't think I would get in and I did," Rachel reminded him.

Finn smiled crookedly at her. "I knew you were going to get in, though."

Rachel smiled at him. "You're psychic, is that it?"

"Maybe a little."

"So what am I getting ready to do?" she asked, moving her head closer to his.

"Answer the door," Finn said right before the doorbell rang.

Rachel pulled back, shocked. "How did you know that?"

He laughed, standing up and pulling her to her feet. "I heard the car door shut and Kurt's voice."

"Oh," Rachel said, embarrassed. "I guess I wasn't paying attention."

Finn leaned down and kissed her as the doorbell rang again. "Go on down, I'll be there in a minute."

Rachel nodded, leaving the room. Finn sat down on her bed and put his head in his hands. Rachel was really going to New York. Her dreams were really coming true. Her being in a place that big and with so many people scared him. He should be with her. She shouldn't have to worry about being alone.

And then the darkest thought of all crossed his mind…again. What if she _wasn't _alone? What if she met some really cool, artsy guy that could sing with her and knew how to dance and stuff? Like Blaine, only not gay; not that that had stopped either of them before. If Rachel was so quick to think he was cheating, did that mean that she didn't believe him when he said he loved her? And if she didn't believe him, would she wait for him?

"Finn!" Rachel called from downstairs.

"Coming!" he said, standing up. That Sugar chick kissing him had come out of left field. At first he'd thought she had him confused with someone else, but then he'd caught the sly look she'd sent in Rachel's direction when Rachel had dropped her keys. Shaking his head, he started down the stairs. Girls were nuts.

"Can she do that?" Rachel was asking Kurt when Finn got to the living room.

"Can who do what?" he asked, sitting beside Rachel, then pulling her into his lap.

"Sananta kicked Sugar off of the Cheerios," Blaine told him.

"Really?" Finn said. "Because she kissed me?"

"Satan said Sugar's trying to hold the football team back instead of supporting them," Kurt said. "She was actually very clever about it. Sue agreed, so Sugar is off the squad."

"I just don't understand what she hoped to accomplish," Rachel said, frowning.

Kurt shrugged. "She's a little crazy," he said. "She's in some of my classes. I think she's still upset about not getting into the Glee Club. She really wanted in."

"But she's so awful," Finn said. "Why would she want to join the club if she can't even sing?"

"Lauren couldn't sing, could she?" Kurt reminded him. "She joined for Puck."

"Still doesn't explain why Sugar wanted in," Blaine said. He shook his head. "Anyway, can we talk about the reason we really came over?"

Rachel nodded. "Sure."

Blaine whipped an envelope out from behind him and showed it to them. "I'm in!" he yelled happily. Kurt clapped his hands excitedly.

"NYADA?" Rachel asked, taking the letter from him. "Oh Blaine, that's wonderful!"

"I still haven't heard from them," Kurt said, still smiling. "I figure that with Blaine getting in the chances for us are much slimmer. But we can still go to school together somewhere in New York, right?"

Rachel looked at Finn, uncertain. Finn nodded slightly to her, taking her hand. "Actually," Rachel said, turning back to look at Kurt and Blaine, "I got my letter today, too."

"Rachel, that's great!" Blaine said.

A look of disappointment flashed across Kurt's face before he smiled too. "That is great," Kurt told her. "I'm so proud of both of you."

"Even if something happens and you don't get in, we can all still live together," Rachel reminded him. "That's the plan, right?"

"Of course!" Kurt said brightly. He looked at his watch. "Blaine, we need to run. We have to talk to your parents and tell them the good news!"

Everyone stood up, Rachel hugging both boys. "I'm glad you guys came by," she said. "Be careful, okay?"

After they'd gone, Rachel shut the front door and turned around, leaning against it. "What that as awful as I thought it was?" she asked.

Finn grimaced, nodding. "Kurt's upset."

"If it were them that had gotten the letters and not me, I'd cry for days," Rachel admitted. "I wouldn't let them see it, of course."

Finn pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't feel guilty, Rach."

"How do you know that's how I'm feeling?" she asked, her words muffled by his shirt.

"Because I know you," he said.

Walking back up the steps to her room, Rachel began thinking out loud. "I guess it will be Blaine and I living together for the first year, but after that Kurt can move in with us."

Finn kept walking, but he didn't like the sound of that. No, he didn't like the sound of that _at all_.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, Blaine, got a minute?" Finn called to his brother's boyfriend.

"Sure," Blaine said, stopping by his car and leaning on it.

"How's Kurt?" Finn asked him, leaning beside him.

Blaine shrugged, looking towards the house. "He says he's fine," he told Finn. "I think we all know it's not true." He sighed, looking at the other boy. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did when I got my letter. I was just so excited; I never even thought about his feelings."

"Rachel was excited too," Finn told Blaine. "She still is. She just feels bad for Kurt." After waiting for two more weeks, Kurt had finally gotten a letter telling him that he hadn't been accepted into the program.

"It's worse that he can't live with us," Blaine said. "He'll be over all the time, though, you know? He'll practically be living with us anyway."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Finn said. He looked at his friend. "I'm glad that you're going to New York. I don't want Rachel to be there, living alone." Blaine nodded. "I'm a little worried, though."

"I figured you were," Blaine said, surprising him.

"Really?"

Blaine nodded, laughing. "You're not exactly subtle, Finn," Blaine told him. "You've done everything but beat your chest with your fists."

Finn grinned, shaking his head. "My bad."

"It's okay," Blaine told him. "I get it. You're worried about Rachel living with another guy. Even if the guy is gay and in love with your brother."

"Well, there was that one time…"

Blaine held up a hand. "Look, I love Rachel, right? I really do. She's amazing. But I'm in love with Kurt. He's my Rachel, know what I mean?"

Finn snorted. "Kurt would kick your ass if he ever heard you say that."

Blaine nodded. "It's true, though. And if something happens and we don't work out, that doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly stop being gay and decide that Rachel is the one for me. It doesn't work like that."

"I don't know how it works," Finn said honestly. "I'm freaking out a little."

"Think you'll ever stop loving Rachel and start being into guys?" Blaine asked casually.

"What? No." Blaine looked at him. "Yeah, I see what you did there."

"It's the same though. When Rachel and I made out, I wasn't sure what I wanted." He winced and the look Finn gave him. "Sorry. Anyway, now I am."

Finn nodded, staring up at the sky. "That makes sense." He let out a breath. "I still don't know who I am."

"You're Finn Hudson, starting quarterback and team captain for the McKinley High Titans football team. You're also Finn Hudson, co captain of the McKinley High Glee Club. Not to mention Finn Hudson, captain of the McKinley High basketball team." Rachel's car pulled into the driveway and Blaine waved at her. "But most importantly, you're Finn Hudson, the man who loves Rachel Berry."

Finn looked at Blaine, shaking his head. "You're such a dork; you know that, right?" Blaine laughed. "No, I mean it. You're seriously a dork."

"Why is he a dork?" Rachel asked, walking up to them.

Finn leaned down and kissed her. "Born that way, I guess."

Rachel laughed and looked at Blaine. "You leaving?"

Blaine nodded. "Have to go to work. Where are you guys going?"

Rachel jumped a little and squealed. "We're going skydiving!"

"Really?" Blaine asked, looking at them. "Why?"

"Finn will be jumping out of helicopters and planes; I want to know what it's like."

"So this was your idea?" Blaine asked, impressed.

Finn nodded, putting his arm around Rachel. "Can you believe it?"

"No," Blaine said, shaking his head. "I can't. You couldn't pay me money to jump out of a plane." He opened his car door. "Be careful, okay?"

"We will be," Rachel said, waving at him. She looked up at Finn. "What were you guys talking about?"

"You, Kurt, New York, me," Finn said, opening the door to his truck so she could get in.

"How's Kurt?" she asked. She'd talked to him, but he put on a happy face when she was around.

Finn shrugged, walking around to get in the truck. After he'd shut the door, he looked at her. "Upset, I guess."

"I hate that he didn't get in," Rachel said. "Is all of your paperwork for school filled out?"

"Yeah, got the last of it done today."

"Did you get all of the classes you needed?"

Finn nodded. "Seems that way. Puck did too."

"Is he meeting us at the airport?"

"He's supposed to be." He looked at Rachel. "Thanks for doing this with me. It means a lot."

Rachel took his hand. "I hope I don't scream too much. I don't want to lose my voice before National's."

Finn kissed her hand. "You won't."

"You probably cried your first time," Rachel said, teasing.

Finn rolled his eyes but then grinned. "Maybe a little."

Finn and Puck had started taking skydiving lessons a few months ago and both of them loved it. Rachel had begged Finn for a month to take her and he'd finally agreed. Today would be her first jump, and she would be jumping with Finn. Usually a first time jumper went out with one of the instructors, but they'd given Finn the okay to take her. Rachel was both happy and terrified at that.

Getting to the airport, they saw the rest of the people who were going up. Rachel had become friends with a few of the girls who were taking the lessons, too, so after she hugged Puck she went over to talk to them about how nervous they all were.

Puck watched her walk off, shaking his head. "Little Berry, jumping out of a plane," he said, looking at Finn and grinning. "What wouldn't she do for you, man?"

Finn smiled and shrugged, getting his stuff together. "Get your paperwork in?"

"Yeah, mom dropped it off today. You?"

"Yeah." He looked up at Puck, shielding his eyes from the sun. "I can't believe we're doing it, man. This is real."

Puck nodded. "How you feeling about everything?"

"Nervous. Sick. Excited."

"Me too," Puck said. He looked over at Rachel. "Going to be hard to leave her behind."

Finn sighed. "I wish I could take her with me," he said.

"No you don't," Puck said. "We're going to be doing some crazy shit."

"You know what I mean." He looked over at Rachel, smiling. "I can't imagine being without her."

"You're going to have to," Puck said. Finn glared at him and he shrugged. "You're going to be away from her. That's the decision you made. Now you have to live with it."

Finn shook his head, standing up. "I know."

Puck grinned. "Let's get in the air and do this thing!"

Everyone around them cheered. Finn walked to Rachel and she put her arm around him. Hugging her, he felt her heart beating. "You sure you want to do this?" he murmured into her hair.

Rachel nodded, looking up at him. "I'm scared though," she admitted.

Finn looked into her eyes. "Just say the word, Rach, and we'll stay on the ground and wave at them when they jump down."

"No," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I'm doing it."

Finn watched her for a minute, then nodded. They joined the others who were boarding the plane, some of them just as scared as Rachel. In the air, their instructor came over and again discussed what Finn and Rachel needed to do. Rachel looked at Finn desperately and he told her that she could still back out. She shook her head, determined to go through with it.

And then it was their turn. Puck would be going out right before them so Rachel would have somewhere to look if she needed to. Before she was harnessed to Finn she pulled him down for a passionate kiss. "I love you," she said, the wind blowing her hair around.

"I love you too," he said, stroking her cheek.

Rachel turned around and was harnessed to him and they both stood at the opening of the plane. "Finn," Rachel said softly before he pushed them out.

She closed her eyes, convinced her heart would give out. She'd never been more terrified in her life. Finn held on to her, and she eventually opened her eyes, looking below them. She could see Puck, who was flipping around and pretending to swim. Rachel smiled, the wind making that small movement difficult.

She noticed the clouds and how pretty everything looked. She forgot to be scared. When it was time for Finn to open the parachute, she was almost sad that it was over. She was frightened again when they got closer to the ground because it seemed to be moving toward them way too fast, but Finn maneuvered the chute properly and though they still landed a little roughly, they were finally back on the ground.

Finn quickly tugged off some of his equipment, leaning over Rachel who had fallen to the ground. "Rachel," he said, kneeling down beside her. "Babe, are you okay?"

"That was amazing," she said wonderingly, looking up at him.

Finn grinned. "It really was." He bent down and kissed her. "You did a good job."

"Feel my heart," she said, taking his hand and putting it to her chest.

"Wow," he said, laughing.

Rachel shook her head, holding his hand to her chest. Finn's eyes darkened at her touch. "Rach," he said, huskily. Rachel rose, wrapping her arm around his neck and kissing him.

"Really?" Puck said, walking up to them. "Right here?"

Finn's lips lingered on Rachel's for a moment as he pulled back, his eyes still locked with hers. "Go away," he told his friend.

"We're in the middle of a field," Puck reminded them. "With several other people."

Rachel shook her head, smiling at him. "You were showing off," she said.

Finn sighed, standing up and offering her a hand. She got up, dusting off her suit. "That really was amazing."

"How scared were you?" Puck asked as Finn got their chute untangled.

"So scared," she admitted.

"Did Finn cry?" he asked.

Finn snorted and Rachel rolled her eyes. "No, he did not cry." She saw one of her new friends and waved to her. "I'll be right back!"

Finn and Puck watched her leave. "She's always surprising me," Puck said, looking at Finn.

Finn smiled. "That's the kind of girl Rachel is."

"You're a lucky man," Puck said, watching his friend. "I mean it. I know that I got in your way a few times and I'm sorry." He looked over at Rachel. "It was always you for her and her for you."

Finn nodded. "I'm just glad we've been able to be happy this year."

"What about next year? And the year after that?"

"I won't be happy because I'll be away from her," Finn said simply.

"She'll probably be the same way. It'll be just like junior year, with you too pining over each other. Only you'll actually be together."

"Crazy, isn't it?"

Puck nodded. "Quinn's called me a couple of times," he said casually, helping Finn with his gear.

"Oh yeah?"

"I guess being with Beth again has really gotten to her."

"What about to you?" Finn said, looking at him.

Puck shrugged. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"She really is." Finn stood up straight and looked at him. "Leaving her going to be a problem?" Shelby had come to teach at McKinley, and Puck and Quinn were able to spend time with Beth. It had been awkward at first, but now they had an odd family thing going.

"Yeah, man, it is," Puck admitted. "I don't want to go."

Finn stared at him. "I know how you feel," he said finally.

"I figured you did. I'm glad I signed up; I just wish I didn't have to leave my baby girl."

Finn nodded, looking at Rachel. "Me too."

"Pathetic, aren't we?" Puck said, laughing.

Finn grinned as Rachel began walking back towards him, bouncing with every step. "If this is pathetic, I'm fine with it."

Puck looked at the girl, grinning. "I bet you are."


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel pulled his shirt over her head and went to look for him. Because it was so late, her house was dark; her dads always kept at least one light on, but Rachel found that wasteful. When they were out of town, she kept all of the lights off.

Finn had been acting odd all day. She'd tried to talk to him; he kept smiling and saying he was fine. But he wasn't…and she could tell. She'd thought that winning Nationals would make him happier, but he'd seemed even more depressed the last two days.

Not that he hadn't enjoyed their time in Los Angles; he had. After they'd won, Mr. Schue had let them wonder around the city a little, with their promises that they wouldn't stray too far off the beaten path. Rachel and Finn ended up going with Puck, Kurt and Blaine to a car show. Rachel had figured she'd be bored, but watching the boy's excitement over the old cars had been much more fun than she'd expected.

To make it up to her, they'd gone to a street festival. They'd danced and sang, eating all sorts of weird food (that Finn made sure had no meat in it). Rachel had loved every minute of it, laughing at the boys as women of all ages came up to them wanting to dance. It had been an amazing trip, and they'd all had a good time. As soon as they landed back in Ohio, though, Finn's depression seemed to come back with a vengeance.

Walking down the steps, she quietly moved through the living room, not finding him. Frowning, she tripped over his bag and caught herself on the couch. "Finn," she mumbled, kicking the bag out of the way. Once she made her way into the kitchen, she found him sitting in a chair pulled close to the window. Wearing only boxer shorts, his skin glowed in the moonlight.

"Finn?" she said softly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Rach," he said quietly. "I'll be back up in a minute."

Though he'd dismissed her, Rachel walked towards him. Standing in front of him, she was shocked to see the tear tracks on his face. He didn't look at her; instead, he kept looking out the window. "What's wrong?" she asked again.

Finn shook his head, looking up at her briefly. "I'm just tired."

Rachel stood watching him for a moment, then moved closer to him, straddling him. "Look at me," she pleaded, trying to get him to focus on her face.

He finally looked at her, the pain in his eyes visible through the low light of the moon. "We did really good, didn't we?" he asked.

Rachel smiled, nodding. "We did great."

"And we won."

Again nodding, her eyes searched his face. "I knew we would."

Finn sighed. "You always know, Rach. If I had just listened to you, things would be so much different."

Rachel gently wiped the tears off of his face. "What are you talking about?"

He shrugged. "The scout for Ohio State came to talk to me the other day. He wanted me." He looked at her. "You were right, I was good enough." He smiled self depreciatingly, ducking his head again. Rachel could see that he was still crying.

"Oh, baby, I know," she said, putting her forehead to his. "You can still play football when you get out of the service, right?"

Finn shook his head. "I'll be four years older, and I wouldn't have played in all of that time. There's no way." He sighed. "I had to turn it down, of course. But Rach, they _wanted _me. If I hadn't let what other people were saying get in my head, I could have played college ball."

"Is that what's been bothering you?"

He shook his head. "Not all of it. I finally heard from NYU." Rachel lifted her head and held her breath. "I was accepted. I would have had to get two jobs and study my ass off, but I was in. I could have gone with you, and I screwed it up."

Rachel closed her eyes, trying to figure out what she could say to make it better. She couldn't think of anything. "What can I do?" she asked him.

"Just keep believing in me," he said, looking into her eyes. "Please keep believing in me. Even after I've made such a mess of things."

Rachel put her hands on his face. "You wanted this, Finn. You believed that this was the right choice and I have to believe that it was. I _do _believe in you. I've always believed in you."

He nodded. "I wish I had some of your faith."

She leaned down, her lips touching his. She could taste the tears on them and was determined to make him forget about all of these things that were hurting him. Sliding up on his legs a little, she ran her hands through his thick hair, pulling his head down to hears. Finn groaned, his hands grabbing her and pulling her closer to him. "I love you," she said before peppering kisses down his jaw.

Finn's hands moved under the shirt and he realized that she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. His mouth finding hers, he moved his boxers and lifted her, then lowered her onto him slowly. Rachel gasped against his mouth, surprised at how ready he was. Grabbing his shoulders, she dug her nails into his skin until she was fully seated on top of him.

"Is this okay?" he asked her, voice strained. Nodding her head, she leaned forward to kiss him again, the movement causing both of them to groan.

"Perfect," Rachel said, biting her lip. "You feel so perfect."

Finn lifted the shirt she was wearing over her head and tossed it to the ground, his hands finding her breasts. Rachel moved her hands to his knees, crying out at the different sensation the move caused. Throwing her hair back, she began rolling her hips against his.

Finn watched her in the moonlight, running his hands over her body, wanting to touch every part of her. His hands caressed her breasts, ran down her stomach, traveled over her back. As she continued to move around him, he pulled her forward, burying his face in the spot between her neck and shoulder. Rachel kept moving, gasping. Finn bit her skin lightly, his body tightening at her moan.

He held her tightly to him as she moved, trying to keep it together. When he could stand it no longer, he pulled her back and looked into her eyes. Seeing her tears, he rubbed his thumb over her lips.

At his questioning look, Rachel smiled slightly through the tears. "Perfect," she said huskily, her chin quivering.

"God, Rach," he said, wrapping his arms around her. He could feel her heart beat against his chest; it was racing as fast as his. His hand slipped between them to touch her and she cried out, her movements becoming jerky.

When she tightened around him, Finn saw stars; everything else disappeared. Her breathing became more and more harsh until the moans ripped out of her body as she clenched around him with her release.

Finn pulled her back, looking at her. Rachel nodded, dazed, putting her hands on his shoulders. Finn's hands grabbed her hips and he began to slam her down on top of him, then lift her slowly only to slam her down again. Rachel quickly found his rhythm and began moving with him, faster and faster. When she screamed out his name, he let go. Pumping into her a few more times, he was completely spent.

Rachel dropped her head onto his shoulder, breathing hard. Finn held her tightly, whispering that he loved her.

They sat like that for a while, Finn making plans for them and Rachel listening to his heart beat. "I'm so proud of you," she said when they'd been quiet for a while.

"Really?" he asked, looking down at her.

Rachel leaned back, pushing her hair out of her face. "I am," she said, smiling slightly. "My boyfriend will be risking his life every day to save other people. All of the new friends I meet are going to be so jealous."

Finn smiled crookedly. "Probably not."

Rachel shook her head. "No, they will be." She smiled and shrugged. "I would be."

Finn caught her chin with his thumb and finger and lowered her head to his. Kissing her, he grinned and pulled back. "Thank you for being mine," he said seriously. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Luckily for you," she said, standing up and taking his hand. "You don't have to find out."

Finn shook his head, smiling, as he followed her up to her room.


	9. Chapter 9

Finn was in his room playing his drums to an old AC/DC song when Puck walked down the steps. "Hey man," he said when Finn looked up.

Putting his drum sticks down and turning off the music, Finn grabbed a towel off the back of a chair and wiped his face with it. "Hey," he said, grinning. "Haven't seen you since graduation."

Puck nodded. "I've just had a lot on my mind." He nodded towards the steps. "Boys are here. Let's play some ball."

They walked through the house and out the front door. "What's up?" Mike said to Finn, dribbling the ball and then shooting.

Finn shook his head, slapping Artie on the back. "It's good to see you guys."

Blaine reached into a cooler and grabbed a water bottle. "When are Kurt and Rachel getting back?" he asked Finn, taking a drink.

He shrugged. "Any time now." He was glad Rachel was spending time with Kurt; his brother had been entirely too depressed and Finn freaked out around criers.

When Mike missed his third shot in a row, Finn looked at him. "What's wrong with you?"

Mike sighed, frowning. "Tina broke up with me." He dribbled the ball, then just stood there looking at it, as if had all the answers.

"Really?" Artie said, sitting up in his seat. When Mike glared at him, he slouched back down. "That sucks."

Mike chuckled a little, shaking his head. "Yeah, you seem devastated on my behalf."

"Why, man? I thought you guys were solid?" Puck asked, grabbing the ball from him and shooting.

"I thought we were too. With me going to Harvard and her staying here, she just felt like the distance would be too much."

Finn grimaced, looking down the road. These were not things he liked to hear. He glanced at Puck, who was studying the ball. "Shit," he mumbled to himself, too low for anyone to hear.

Mike continued talking. "I wish she was like Rachel. That girl has no doubt that you two are going to make it. She's probably already named your unborn children."

"Noah and Maya," Finn and Puck said in unison, grinning at each other.

Mike laughed. "See what I mean? Why couldn't Tina have faith in us like that?"

Feeling better, Finn grabbed the ball from Puck, going for a lay up. Hitting it, he looked at his friends. "I just got lucky."

"Kurt's worried about the distance from NYU to NYADA," Blaine said, sighing. "It's not going to be a problem. I keep trying to tell him that."

"Chicks are weird," Artie said, agreeing. "Not that Kurt is a chick," he continued hastily, realizing what he'd said. Blaine laughed, so Artie shrugged. "Brittany has been coming over a lot lately. I'm not sure what happened with her and Santana, but I'm not complaining."

"Santana can't figure out what she wants," Puck said. "She's been coming over a lot lately."

"No," Blaine and Artie said together.

Puck nodded, smirking a little. "I'm not complaining, either."

"Rachel's been spending a lot of time down in your room, Finn," Blaine said knowingly.

Finn knew his face turned bright red, and he couldn't stop it. "We…study."

"Ooooooh!" Puck and Blaine yelled, laughing.

"I hate all of you," Mike said, shooting-and missing- again.

"You just need to go talk to her," Blaine said.

"Unless you don't really want to," Puck commented, watching him.

Mike sat down beside Artie. "I don't know what I want," he admitted sadly. "I love Tina, but this is my chance to explore, to find out who I am as a person…not as a couple."

Finn nodded. "I think sometimes that me going into the service will be a good chance to figure out who I am without Rachel. Then I think about being without her and I feel like I can't breathe."

"Whipped," Puck said, pretending to hold the ball out to Finn, then jerking it back and going up for a shot.

"You said you have a lot on your mind," Finn told him. "What is it?"

"Stupid drama shit," the other boy said, putting the ball on the ground and sitting on it.

"Beth?" Artie asked, tossing him a water out of the cooler.

Puck took a long drink, wiping his brow. "Quinn."

"What's going on there?" Mike asked him. "Last time I talked to Quinn she seemed a little odd."

"I don't know, man, I think she's losing her mind," Puck said. He looked at the ground, then back up, having made up his mind. "If I tell you guys something, it goes no further, okay?" They all nodded. "She tried to kill herself graduation night."

"What?" Finn said as the others made similar noises of shock.

"I don't know how serious it was," Puck said. "I think she was really just trying to see if anyone was paying attention."

"What did she do?" Blaine asked.

"Took a bottle of sleeping pills."

Everyone was quiet for a moment. "Growing up fucks with everyone's head," Puck said finally.

Finn nodded. "What's wrong with her?"

"She wants to be a family. She's been talking about trying to get custody of Beth…" he sighed. "I don't know what's going on."

"But you're not even together," Artie said, confused.

"You know that and I know that, but I don't think she knows that." He looked at Finn. "You should know that she's been saying some things about you."

Finn stared at his friend, shocked. "What? I haven't even talked to her."

"I know, man. She's not…normal right now. I've wanted to tell you about it…" he trailed off.

"I've heard some stuff," Mike said, speaking up. "But I knew it wasn't true and shrugged it off."

"I heard something about her and Puck," Blaine said, then cleared his throat. "And Puck and Rachel."

"What?" Finn said, looking at his brother's boyfriend. "What did you hear?" He looked at Puck. "What's she saying about you and Rachel?"

Puck sighed. "She's saying that Rachel cheated on you with me, and that's why she and I aren't together right now…and why you two are."

"What the fuck?" Finn said, automatically wincing because Rachel and his mother would have slapped him if they'd heard.

"Chick sounds crazy," Artie said.

"This isn't cool," Finn said. "I don't want Rachel hearing this stuff."

"It's gone on too long," Puck said softly. "She should have talked to someone after we gave Beth up."

"I knew she was having problems, but I never would have guessed they'd be this bad," Mike said.

"Should I call Rachel?" Finn asked.

"Let's play a game," Puck said, standing up. "You can tell Rach when she gets here."

Finn agreed, but his mind was racing. If Rachel heard Quinn saying they were messing around, would she believe it? She'd believed he was with that Sugar girl…but she'd seen the girl kiss him. Surely she would know that Quinn was making it up. Right?

"I should have already taken care of this," Puck said to Finn lowly. "Quinn is my problem and it never should have gotten so out of hand."

"No, we've all said that we're her friends…like her family. We should have all been paying more attention," Finn told him.

"I care about her," Puck said, tossing the ball to Mike. "I just don't want to be with her."

"I know what you mean," Finn told him, nodding.

Finn and Puck played Blaine and Mike, then Finn pushed Artie around to be on Puck's team. Towards the end of that game, Kurt's car pulled into the driveway. The boys stopped playing, watching Rachel jump out of the car and run into Finn's arms. Shocked, Finn put his arms around her as she cried, looking at Kurt. "What happened?"

Kurt slammed his door shut, upset. "What the hell is wrong with Quinn Fabray?" he demanded shrilly.

"What are you talking about?" Puck asked him.

"Did you see her?" Finn asked. Rachel shook her head against his chest, still sobbing.

"No, we did not _see her_." Kurt said.

"Kurt, calm down," Blaine said, walking to his boyfriend. "What's going on?"

Kurt stood silently for a moment, trying to compose himself. "They _threw _things at Rachel," he finally said. "Those little strumpets screamed names at her and threw things at her!"

"Wait, what?" Artie said. When Kurt glared at him, he held up his hands. "I'm sorry. I just don't understand what's going on."

"Baby," Finn said, looking down at Rachel, "are you hurt?"

"I don't think she is," Kurt answered for her. "We were just so shocked. She didn't have a chance to duck or anything." He took a deep breath. "We were at the mall, right?" The guys nodded. "We'd just gotten done shopping and were getting ready to leave. We hear someone screaming and we turn around right as a girl threw her bag at Rachel." Finn looked at Puck, jaw clenched. Puck nodded. "I yelled "what did you do that for?" and she said that Rachel's a whore and should be ashamed of herself for sleeping with Quinn's men." He shook his head. "Then all of these other girls jumped in and started throwing things, screaming that because of Rachel Quinn tried to kill herself and that she was a slut for cheating on you with Puck…" He looked at Finn. "It was the worst thing I've ever seen." Blaine put his arm around Kurt, who squeezed his hand.

Finn tightened his grip on Rachel, looking at Puck. "You need to go talk to Quinn. Now."

Puck nodded. "I'll go with you," Mike said.

"Thanks, man," Puck said. He looked down at Rachel, who was still crying, then back at Finn. "I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault," Finn said. "This is all on Quinn."

Puck nodded again. "We'll be back when we're done to let you know what happens."

"Kurt and I can take Artie home while you help Rachel get cleaned up," Blaine said. "Artie and I can fill him in on what's happening." Finn nodded.

"I just felt so helpless," Kurt said, almost in tears. "I couldn't do anything."

"It's okay, babe," Blaine said, pulling him towards the car. "You did everything you could."

Finn watched them help Artie into the car and pull away. He looked down at the tiny woman he was holding. He debated for a moment, then swept her up in his arms. Rachel gasped, then put her arms around his neck. He took her straight down to his room, sitting her on the side of the bed and turning the light on. "Oh baby," he whispered, noticing the cut on her cheek and seeing the pain in her eyes. "I'm so sorry." Anger surged through his body as he noticed the small bruise forming on her wrist.

Rachel nodded, trying to control her breathing. "I don't really know what happened," she said shakily. "What's going on?"

Finn dropped to his knees in front of her, brushing his fingers over her face, arms and legs to check for more cuts or bruises. "Quinn's having some sort of mental breakdown," he told her as he searched. "She's been making up all sorts of crazy things about me and you and Puck…and like those girls said, she tried to kill herself."

Rachel gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "I didn't know if it was true. Is she okay?"

Finn shook his head, looking into her eyes. "Why do you care, Rachel? After everything she's done, why does it even matter?" he said angrily.

"Because she's a person," Rachel told him. "She has a lot of problems, but she's still a person."

Sighing, Finn put his forehead to hers. Of course, even after being attacked, Rachel would be worried about Quinn. That's how she was. "God, Rachel, I love you."

Rachel moved her head back, looking at him oddly. "What?"

He smiled at her. "You have such a soft heart." Shaking his head, he put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her closer. "I love everything about you."

Rachel kissed him softly at first, then wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. "I love you too," she said when they broke apart.

"I've been worried," he told her. "Afraid that something would happen and that we wouldn't make it."

Rachel frowned. "You didn't tell me that," she said.

He nodded. "I worried that you wouldn't want me anymore or that you'd find someone else. I'm not worried anymore. I could never love anyone as much as you, and because of that I'm never going to let you go." He kissed her lightly. "Even if you want me to."

Rachel smiled softly. "You don't have to worry about that," she said. "I've known that I was going to love you for the rest of my life from the first moment we sang together."

Finn kissed her injured cheek, trailing kisses down her jaw and to her neck. "Does anything hurt?" he asked her.

"Not right now."

He lifted his head to look at her, smiling when he noticed her grin. "Rachel, be serious."

"I'm being serious," she said softly. "When you kiss me, nothing else matters."

"Maybe I should just spend all of my time kissing you then," he said teasingly.

"You joke, but that would be fine with me."

Finn didn't respond, just studied her face. Slowly lowering his head, his lips captured hers. Unbuttoning her shirt as his lips played over hers, he slid it off of her shoulders and down her arms. Reaching around her, he unsnapped her bra, removing it as well.

Again trailing kisses down her jaw, he gently pushed her back on the bed. Rachel moved towards the center of it and Finn followed. Sliding her skirt and underwear off quickly, he sat above her, his eyes roaming over her body.

"What is it?" she asked him quietly.

"Everything," he said, running his hands over the soft skin of her legs. His hands passing over her hips lightly, they soon moved to her chest. Rachel drew a sharp breath, watching him. He lowered his mouth to her skin, letting his tongue trace the outline of her breasts, then kissing down her stomach.

"Finn," she said nervously as his lips kept moving lower.

"Shhh," he said against her skin, pulling her legs farther apart and looking at her. "Beautiful," he said.

Embarrassed, Rachel tried to move away but he held her firmly in place. "I just want to try…" he said, lowering his head.

Rachel cried out and almost sat straight up as his tongue teased her. "Finn!" she cried again, this time in pleasure. Dropping back to the bed, her hands tangled in his hair, her hips bucking under his mouth. Quickly the heat pooled, and before she realized what was happening the waves of it crashed throughout her body. She didn't realize she was screaming until Finn's hand covered her mouth.

Quickly getting undressed he pushed into her, groaning at the way her body contracted around him. He couldn't seem to get enough of her; he lifted her off of the bed as he moved inside of her, wrapping his arms around her and holding them chest to chest.

Rachel put her arms around his body, kissing his chest and then nipping at his neck. Finn groaned as they moved together, determined to not let go until she did. When Finn's lips crashed down on hers, her mouth opened under his. She could taste herself on his lips and moaned. Her moan pushed him over the edge and he pushed her back on the bed, pounding into her with his release. Rachel cried out as she came again, her nails digging into his back.

Finn looked down at her, trying to get his breathing under control. Rachel smiled at him, lifting herself on her elbows. "What was _that_?"

Finn smiled crookedly, his gaze traveling her body. "That was a warm up."


	10. Chapter 10

Finn dropped down on the bench beside Rachel, blowing out a breath. Rachel watched him for a minute, then smiled. "Tired?"

"I always knew that school sucked," he told her, "but college super sucks."

Rachel laughed a little, rubbing his back. "It will get better."

Finn looked at her, eyebrow raised. "No it won't. It will get harder."

Sighing, Rachel looked out at the park. "Do you really hate it so much?"

"_So_ much," he told her, taking her hand and watching some kids play soccer. "I can't even tell you how much."

Rachel put her head on his shoulder. "So Ohio State and NYU probably wouldn't have worked out?"

Finn shook his head. "I would have done whatever I had to do to be with you, Rach."

"But you would have been miserable," she said softly.

"I'm not miserable right now," he told her, bringing her hand up for a kiss. Rachel moved her head to smile up at him. "You and the boys finding everything you need?"

She nodded. "Blaine finally had to put his foot down; there will be no pink in his new bedroom. Anywhere."

Finn grunted. "Good for him. What color is your room going to be?" he asked, pretty sure the pink Blaine was resisting would make its way to her.

"Blue," Rachel said, watching him.

"Blue?" he asked.

"Blue has become a very important color to me," she told him softly.

Finn's eyes lowered to her lips and his hands moved up to cup her face, kissing her lightly. "You're awesome."

She laughed, kissing him again. "Hey, hey, hey, break it up," Puck said, coming up to them. "You'll scare small children."

Rachel jumped up and held her arms out. "Hey Beth!" she said, taking the little girl. "How's my favorite little girl?" Beth squealed happily, hugging Rachel.

Puck looked at Finn. "I don't even want to go to this class. School sucks."

Finn laughed. "Tell me about it," he said, watching Rachel and Beth "talk" to each other. Rachel seemed to understand what the little girl was saying without a problem but it was like a different language to Finn.

Puck sat down on the bench beside him, watching Rachel and Beth. "Can you believe how big my baby is getting?" he asked.

Finn shook his head. "It's crazy."

Puck sighed. "She'll look like a completely different person by the time we get back." Finn didn't know what to say to that so he stayed silent. Beth _would _look like a completely different person. "Shelby and I have it worked out; she's going to let Beth come stay with me once I'm stationed in Hawaii. Not forever or anything, but she can stay with me for a while."

"Dude, that's great," Finn said, smiling at his friend. That meant he'd get to see the little girl, too. "Us and little Baby D, chilling on the beach."

Puck groaned. "Please, bro, stop calling my little girl Drizzle."

Finn laughed. "Drizzle's a good name, man, I'm telling you."

Puck snorted. "I'm glad I got to name her. That's all I'm saying."

"I should have at least got to come up with the middle name," Finn said, still laughing. "I worked hard on that name!"

Puck nodded, grinning. "I know." He slapped Finn on the shoulder and stood up. "I'm glad you guys could watch her today."

"We love spending time with her," Finn told his friend honestly. Shelby and Rachel had bonded, finally, and they really were like a family now. Finn and Rachel kept Beth whenever they were asked because she was fun. Finn couldn't believe it, but it was true. He looked at his friend. "Heard anything from Quinn?"

Puck shook his head. "She's still refusing to talk to anyone but her mom," Puck told him. After Puck and Mike had gone to her house to confront her, Quinn had checked herself into a hospital. Puck and Shelby had both tried to talk to her but she had refused all communication from them.

"Sorry," Finn told him.

Puck shrugged. "She's the one missing out on her life," he said, smiling as Rachel chased his little girl across the grass, both giggling. "Bye Rach," he called to his friend. "Bye Beth!"

"Bye!" Rachel called. "Beth, say bye!" The little girl waved, blowing Puck a sloppy kiss. "Oh no, Beth! I think I see a Finn Monster!" The little girl shrieked, laughing, and tried to hide behind Rachel's legs.

Finn got off of the bench, dropping low to the ground and crab walking towards them. Both girls jumped around excitedly as he got closer. Puck watched them for another moment, smiling, then walked back to his car.

After they'd spent almost an hour in the park Beth started yawning. "Uh oh," Rachel said. "I think I know a little girl who might be s-l-e-e-p-y," she said to Finn.

Finn nodded. Puck's class was only an hour, so he would be coming to get her soon. "Come here, Beth," he said, holding his arms out to the little girl. He picked her up and she rested her head on his shoulder, sticking her thumb in her mouth. Rachel opened her mouth to say something about that and Finn shook his head, rolling his eyes. "It's okay," he told her quietly, smiling. "Hey, Beth, do you want to hear a song?"

Beth nodded, watching Rachel with sleepy eyes. Finn began singing "Angels" by Robbie Williams, walking over to the park bench and sitting down with the little girl. Rachel followed them, sitting down and watching them.

"_I sit and wait__  
><em>_does an angel contemplate my fate__  
><em>_and do they know__  
><em>_the places where we go__  
><em>_when we're grey and old__  
><em>_´cos I've been told__  
><em>_that salvation lets their wings unfold__  
><em>_so when I'm lying in my bed__  
><em>_thoughts running through my head__  
><em>_and I feel that love is dead__  
><em>_I'm loving angels instead."_

While he sang, Beth's eyelids fluttered closed. Her thumb fell out of her mouth and she fell asleep against his shoulder. Rachel closed her eyes as well and listened to the song. She still remembered the first time she'd heard him sing; they'd been in the auditorium, singing "You're the One that I Want." She'd dismissed him when she'd first saw him, annoyed that he was wasting everyone's time when he _clearly _didn't belong in the Glee Club.

When he started singing, her entire body thrummed. When she looked over at him again, she saw him completely differently. His voice was rough around the edges, but there was so much potential…and something else. There was just something about him that, once she actually looked at him, made her heart feel funny. And it all started with his voice.

When he was finished singing the song to Beth, Rachel opened her eyes and smiled at him. "She's asleep," she said.

"I figured that would do it," he said.

"I still love your voice," she told him. "I'm going to miss it." She looked down at her hands, distressed to realize that she'd started to cry.

"Rachel," he said, putting his hand on her leg, "it'll be okay."

Rachel nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I know it will. I don't know what's gotten into me." She looked at him. "I was just thinking about how we met."

Finn smiled widely. "You scared me."

"Well, I was a little zealous," Rachel admitted. "But your voice shook me."

He winced. "Was it that bad?"

Rachel laughed softly. "No, it was that good."

"I'm not that great, Rach," he told her. He thought his voice was okay, but not great.

"I think you are," she told him sincerely, taking his hand and looking into his eyes. "I think you're amazing."

Finn leaned over, careful not to disturb Beth, and kissed her. "Thank you."  
>"What an adorable family," an elderly woman said to her husband. "Aren't they just the cutest thing?" The old man smiled and nodded to the young couple.<p>

"Oh, we-" Rachel started, but Finn just squeezed her hand.

"Thank you," he told them with a smile. When the couple continued walking, she looked at him. He shrugged. "We are adorable. And we may as well be family." He winked at her.

Rachel again opened her mouth to say something but this time Puck interrupted her. "Oh man, she's out, huh?" he said, walking toward the couple.

"The Finn Monster was too much for her," Finn told his friend.

"How was your class?" Rachel asked him.

"Shitty," Puck said. "I can't wait until it's over."

Rachel shook her head. "You two are so much alike sometimes it's scary."

"I'll tell you what's scary," Puck said. "Math."

Rachel laughed, getting Beth's bag from beside the bench and standing to give it to him. "Just bring her over to the house tomorrow and I'll watch her there."

Puck took the bag and nodded. "Thanks Rach." He held out his arms for the little girl and Finn carefully passed her to him, being sure not to jostle her and wake her up. "I'll see you for class tomorrow," he told Finn. Finn nodded and Puck walked off, humming to his little girl.

"Noah Puckerman with a baby girl and a diaper bag," Rachel said, watching him. She looked at Finn. "I don't know when that's not going to be weird for me."

"He's a really good dad," Finn said. "I don't know when that's not going to be weird for me."

Rachel put her head on his shoulder, watching until the man and his little girl were out of sight. "Hey, Rach?" Finn said, moving around beside her.

Rachel turned her head and looked at him. "Yeah?"

Finn stood up, then knelt down beside the bench. "I was going to wait," he said nervously, reaching into his pocket. "I've been waiting for the right time…"

Rachel gasped when he pulled a ring box out of his pocket. "Finn," she said, looking into his eyes, "what-"

"Just listen for a second," he pleaded. The sun was setting behind him and the wind was blowing his dark hair. Rachel had never seen his eyes shine like they were now. "I'm in love with you, Rachel. I always have been. And even though I'm going away, I know that's not going to change. I'm not asking you to marry me before I leave, but I'm asking you to take this ring as a promise that you'll be mine…and that someday you _will_ marry me."

Tears once again falling from the corners of her eyes, Rachel nodded happily. "Of course I will," she said. He stood, picking her up and hugging her tightly. "I'm in love with you, too," she whispered, closing her eyes and just holding him.

He pulled back, kissing her. "And listen, I know you already have names picked out," he said, smiling at her, "but can I at least be in charge of the middle names?"

Rachel laughed. "So long as it's not Drizzle," she said.

Finn shook his head, grinning. "Everybody's a critic."


	11. Chapter 11

"And it's over," Finn said wonderingly, tossing his backpack into the corner of her room.

Rachel sat in front of her mirror, brushing her hair. "I'm so proud of you," she told him, smiling at his reflection.

"I can't believe it's over," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "That means it's really time for us to all leave."

Rachel put her brush down and walked to the bed, sitting beside him. "I have a surprise for you," she told him.

Finn wagged his eyebrows. "What kind of a surprise?"

Rachel laughed and kissed his cheek. "Not that kind."

He really looked at her for the first time. "You look amazing," he told her. The dress she was wearing wasn't anything fancy, but she looked like she was ready to go out. "Where are we going?" He looked down at the clothes he was wearing. "Should I change?"

Rachel shook her head, watching him. He was still talking and she smiled, noticing again the way his mouth moved to the side while he talked; the way his beautiful brown eyes shined when he laughed or thought of something funny, the way he nodded his head when he said something he thought was right. Before she really realized what she was doing, she was standing in front of him.

"Hey," he said, looking up at her and smiling.

"Hey," she said, smiling back at him. She lowered her head and brushed her lips over his. When she went to move away, he put his arms on her back and held her close, deepening the kiss. Rachel dropped on his lap, threading her fingers through his hair.

"Are you sure you don't have two surprises for me?" he asked hopefully when he lifted his head from hers.

"What?" Rachel asked, her head still spinning from the kiss.

Finn chuckled, rubbing her arms. "Nothing." He stood up, careful to right her. "Am I going to like my surprise?"

"No," Rachel said, then laughed. "Of course you're going to like it."

The doorbell rang and they left her room. "I bet it's Puck," she said.

"Is he getting a surprise too?"

Rachel nodded. "It's for both of you."

Finn stuck out his lip, pouting. Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "I already told you that's not what it is."

Finn put his hands on her waist as he walked behind her. "Oh, I know that's not what it is," he said. "If I'd thought it was, I'd kill him."

Rachel shook her head, laughing. She opened the door to find Puck. "I'm glad that shit is over," he said, tossing his bag by her door.

"Hey, man," Finn said to him, his arms wrapped around Rachel. "We're getting a surprise."

"I could use a surprise," Puck said, wagging his eyebrows at Rachel.

Rachel sighed. "You two worry me. How are you going to make it on your own?"

Finn leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I'm not going to be alone, Rach. I'll always have you with me."

Rachel smiled and turned in his arms, kissing him. "If this is my surprise," Puck said, leaning against the door, "thanks but no thanks."

Rachel laughed, pulling away. "Okay, let's go."

They got into Rachel's car, Finn driving. "Where are we headed?"

"To the lake," Rachel said, buckling her seat belt. "We're having a party."

"Hope that wasn't the surprise," Puck muttered, buckling his own seat belt.

"Nope," Rachel said happily.

They talked a little about their finals as they drove to the lake. Rachel had helped Finn so much that she was just as familiar with the work as the boys. Finn didn't have to ask for directions; he knew that when Rachel said "the lake" it meant the spot they always went to. They'd all hung out there together many times, and it just made sense that that was where the party would be.

"Mike and Tina are back together," Rachel told them. "But probably just until he leaves. They figured that they shouldn't say goodbye until they had to."

"Makes sense," Puck said. "Santana and Brittany are going separate places, too. I think that's why San has been so upset."

Rachel frowned. "I'll talk to her."

Puck nodded. "I'm going to have Beth for the next week, so you guys can come over or whatever."

"We will," Finn said, squeezing Rachel's hand.

Puck smirked. "If you're not too busy "studying.""

Rachel blushed and looked at him. "Stop that," she said.

Puck laughed and shrugged. "Okay."

The party had already started when they got to the spot. Puck jumped out of the car, yelling that he was a free man. Rachel shook her head, grinning. "He's wild."

"Do you wish I was wild?" Finn asked, looking at her.

Rachel looked into his eyes. "I'm glad you're exactly the way you are," she told him, leaning across the console to kiss him.

Finn cupped her face with this hand, his thumb caressing her cheek. They broke apart, startled, when Puck slapped the car window. "Dude, come look!" he yelled into the car excitedly.

Rachel smiled. "Surprise!"

Finn got out of the car, waiting for Rachel and taking her hand. Walking in the direction Puck had just ran off to, he saw a familiar blonde head in the crowd. "No way!" he yelled happily, letting go of Rachel to run to the surprise guest.

"Sam," he said, hugging his friend. "Damn, it's good to see you."

Sam hugged Finn back tightly. "It's good to see you guys too," he said, winking at Rachel.

"How did you get here?" Finn asked, pulling back.

"Rachel called me, told me about the party. I'm getting ready to head to Vandy, thought I could swing a quick trip to good old Ohio."

"I can't believe you're here, man," Puck said, sitting on a log with Tina and Mike. "We have to tear shit _down_ this week!"

Sam nodded, taking another drink of his beer. "That's the plan," he said, smiling.

"Where are you staying?" Finn asked him.

"With Mike."

"Paintball, first thing in the morning," Finn said loudly to all of the people at the party. "8 am." He smiled. "And I get Rachel." Everyone groaned. Who knew the barely there diva would be one of the best teammates ever? She was also surprisingly good at Call of Duty on the XBOX. Finn had really lucked out.

Rachel left Finn to talk to Sam, seeking out Santana. "Hey Satan," she said, sitting beside the girl.

"Hey," Santana said, not looking at her.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Want to talk about it anyway?"

Santana smiled and looked at the smaller woman. "Pushy today, aren't we?"

Rachel shrugged, watching Artie and Brittany. "That must be hard."

"You have no idea," Santana said lowly.

Rachel glanced at Finn for a minute. "Oh, I think I do."

Santana followed Rachel's gaze and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you do." She threw a stick at the fire they'd built. "I shouldn't have broken things off, but I knew with us going to different schools things wouldn't work out. Brittany is too free, and I can't handle that."

"What are you going to do?" Rachel asked her softly.

"Let her go," the other girl said just as softly. "And move on."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said.

Santana nodded. "I guess it's for the best. I've been sleeping with Puck again and he's really needed someone too." At Rachel's look she rolled her eyes. "It's just comfort sex, Berry. Old habits die hard and Puck is one of my best friends."

"Of course, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge."

"How are you doing?" Santana asked, looking at her. "Finn's leaving in a week."

Rachel looked back over at her boyfriend, finding his eyes on her. Heat streaked through her body when she noticed the lust in his eyes. Santana chuckled. "Well I'll be damned. You two have been sleeping together."

Rachel blushed, looking back at her. "So?"

Santana laughed. "Don't get defensive, I think it's great." She leaned closer. "So how is it?" She wagged her eye brows.

Rachel stared at her a moment. "You are _just _like Finn and Puck!" she said, laughing. "What's with the eyebrow thing?"

Santana shook her head, not to be deterred. "Come on, tell me."

Rachel sighed and looked back at Finn, who was talking to the boys again. "It's perfect," she said. "So perfect."

"I'm jealous," Santana admitted. Rachel looked at her. "No, I mean it. What you and Finn have…I'm jealous." She looked at Brittany quickly, then looked back at Rachel. "What happens when he leaves?"

"I cry for a month and don't leave my room," Rachel said matter-of-factly.

Santana nodded. "That sounds about right."

"I always thought my dream was in New York," Rachel said. "But I've realized that it's wherever he is."

"He'll be in New York before you know it," Santana said. "And you'll get to visit him and stuff, right?"

Rachel nodded. "It makes me nervous that he'll be jumping out of planes and stuff though."

"Why? You jump with him all of the time."

"People aren't trying to kill us when we do it," Rachel said. Rachel and the boys had been jumping every weekend in the summer. Rachel still froze up, but somehow loved it at the same time.

"That's true," Santana said, agreeing. "I'm sorry," she said, echoing Rachel's earlier words.

Rachel shrugged. "Nothing either of us can do about it." She stood up, holding her hand out to the other girl. "This is a party," she said. "Let's party!"

Everyone (but Quinn, who no one had talked to) was there. It was truly a "Glee Club" reunion, with a few new people scattered throughout. Mercedes boyfriend was going to Ohio State too, so they were still together and happy about their future. Rachel was happy for them. It seemed like everyone else was scattering to the wind. She looked over at Kurt, glad that he'd found love too. Though he had to be embarrassed at Blaine's current dance moves…

"I can't believe you guys won State again this year," Sam was saying to Finn.

Finn shrugged, smirking. "When you're good, you're good."

Sam laughed. "We were good, man."

"Hell yeah we were," Puck said, eyeing Santana. "Cheerios won again too," he told Sam.

"As if there was a doubt," Sam said, winking at his ex girlfriend.

"Not with me as Captain," Santana said.

"What happened to Quinn?" Sam asked. Everyone was quiet. Looking around, he noticed that everyone was trying _not _to look at Puck.

"She's somewhere else," Puck said, taking a drink of his beer. "But man, you should see Beth!" Everyone relaxed and continued talking.

"I see her on your Facebook but I'd love to see her in person," Sam told him.

"You'll see her tomorrow morning," Puck said. "Beth is our paintball mascot."

Finn sat beside the boys, across the fire from Rachel. He couldn't stop staring at her as she talked to Tina and Mercedes. Her skin glowed in the firelight, glistening with sweat. As if feeling his gaze, Rachel looked over at him. Finn didn't move or smile at her; he just watched her. Rachel's heart raced when she recognized the look in his eyes. His face unchanging, Finn nodded to the woods. Knowing what he was asking, she nodded slightly.

Finn stood, telling his friends that he'd be back. They nodded, comfortably buzzed and not overly concerned with Finn going off into the woods to pee. After he'd disappeared, Rachel excused herself politely. The other girls didn't even seem to notice as they argued over song lyrics.

Rachel walked to the edge of the woods; it was so dark. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the darkness, her eyes becoming accustomed to it as she searched for Finn. Walking quietly, she almost screamed when he grabbed her from behind. Lowering his head to her neck, he sucked lightly at the skin there. Rachel moaned softly, laying her head back against his shoulder.

"I need you," he whispered into her ear. Rachel nodded. She knew he could feel her heart beat through her skin. She wasn't sure what was happening, but his touch was electric. Finn walked them to a tall tree, turning her around and lowering the straps on her dress. Rachel sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck. Cupping her butt, Finn pulled her closer still, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She whimpered when he pushed his hips into hers. Pulling his head down to hers, her tongue teased his lips before they parted, his tongue dancing with hers.

Finn groaned, reaching down to undo his pants. Freeing himself, he pushed Rachel's panties aside and rammed into her. Rachel cried out but his mouth covered hers, quieting the cry. Moving his hands to her hips, he pounded into her as his mouth stayed on hers, swallowing her moans.

Rachel didn't feel the bark of the tree against her skin, or the cool breeze that floated past them; all she could feel was Finn inside her, under her hands, against her lips. She arched against him, heat pooling at her center. After another deep thrust she fell apart, writhing wildly against him, her head spinning.

Finn's mouth left hers, licking the sweaty skin of her neck. Rachel continued to moan quietly, her body still contracting and milking his. He felt her tremble against his hands and knew that she was building up again. He lifted his head, looking into her eyes as he moved inside her. Her eyes heavy lidded and her lips swollen, she looked more beautiful to him now than she ever had. "I love you," he said, bending his head to kiss her again.

Rachel wrapped her arms around his chest, trying to get even closer to him. She felt as if she were coming out of her skin. The friction of the new position pushed her over the edge again and she screamed, Finn cutting it short with his hand. When she was done moaning, he lowered his hand and replaced it with his mouth. Rachel lightly bit his lip and he groaned, feeling his entire body tighten. "Rach," he said against her mouth as he pumped inside her, finding his release.

They stayed like that, against the tree, for a few moments. Rachel dropped her head on his shoulder and began to sob. "Oh God, Rach," he said, pulling back to look at her. "I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

Rachel shook her head, looking up at him. In the moonlight he could see the tears in her eyes and falling down her face. "Baby," he whispered, "what is it?"

"I don't know if I can let you go," she told him, still crying.

Finn felt his heart break a little. He didn't know if he could let her go, either. "You don't have to let me go right now," he told her, kissing her tenderly. "I'm right here."

Rachel nodded, trying to stop crying. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping some of the tears off of her face with the back of her hand. "I didn't mean to ruin it."

Finn groaned and took her hand. Putting it on his chest, he looked at her. "Does it feel like you ruined anything?"

Rachel shook her head, sniffling. Finn carefully lowered her to the ground, watching her try to compose herself. He couldn't stand not touching her, so he put his hands under her arms and gently lifted her back up. Rachel wrapped her legs back around him, looking up at him as he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her, he began swaying, smiling. When she smiled back at him he began singing "Faithfully" softly.

Almost tearing up again, Rachel began singing it with him. When they'd finished the song, he kissed her deeply, holding her tight. Pulling back, Rachel nodded to him and he lowered her to the ground. Holding hands, they made their way back to the fire and their friends.


	12. Chapter 12

The teams had been divided and the battle lines were drawn. Though several of them were regretting drinking so much last night, their game faces were on and they were prepared for war.

Puck bent down and kissed Beth on the head. "Be good for Ms. Mally, okay?" The little girl grinned at him. Puck looked at the lady who ran the paintball field. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will," Ms. Mally said, holding her hand out for Beth to take. "You kids go have fun. Ms. Beth and I have things to do."

"Thanks Ms. M.," Finn told the woman. Since Puck had been getting Beth, they'd made several trips to the field. Ms. Mally offered to watch Beth for Puck when he came and the little girl loved the older woman.

Teams were the same as always: Finn, Rachel, Puck, Santana, Kurt and Artie against Mike, Sam, Tina, Mercedes (and now Shane), Blaine and Brittany. Finn's team was blue, Mike's team was red. They had twenty minutes to get ready, and then their war began.

Finn and Mike stood together, agreeing to rules. They did this every time, even though nothing ever changed. Agreeing on everything, they set their watches and began the preparation period.

Moving out, Finn reminded his team to check their guns and their ammo. Reminding them that once they were out of ammo they could take the gun of a fallen teammate, he walked them into the woods. His team was going to be on defense; Mike's on offense.

They discussed setting Kurt and Artie up as campers in the entry of the woods, but decided that would be too much of a risk. They left Artie there, and Santana and Kurt both ran into the woods to find their own camping spot while Finn and Puck tried to decide where to put Rachel.

"This tree looks good," Puck said after they'd walked for a while.

Finn nodded, looking at Rachel. She'd been largely silent today and it worried him. He looked at her now. "What do you think, Rach?"

"It looks fine," she said.

Puck looked at Rachel, then at Finn, frowning. "I'm going to go find a spot to start in. Can you get her up there?" he said.

Finn nodded, watching his friend leave. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked her.

She shook her head, leaning up to place a light kiss on his lips. Finn bent down, returning the kiss. "I can't seem to keep my eyes off of you," she told him. "I feel like I have to touch you all of the time." She looked up at him, putting her hand on his chest. "It's like I'm afraid you'll disappear."

Finn shook his head. "I'm still here, Rachel."

"I know."

"Do you want to leave? We can go back to my place."

She shook her head, laughing a little. "No, I'm being silly. We must defeat Mike's team or I'll never hear the end of it."

Finn grinned. "And you can do it," he said. He looked up at the tree. "I'll give you a boost and then you can climb on up."

Rachel nodded, turning to the tree and grabbing two of the lower branches. Finn lifted her and she climbed onto one of the lowest ones, looking down as he handed her her gun. "Don't let them find you so quickly this time, okay?" she said with a wink before turning around and quickly climbing the tree.

"Not like I can hide," Finn mumbled, running to some trees nearby that would provide cover. Looking at his watch, he hoped all of his team was in their places; it was almost time for Mike's team to invade the woods.

When the time was up, he didn't hear anything. Mike's team must be moving very stealthily. The hardest part was sitting still. Finn constantly needed to be moving, talking, or drumming on something. Sitting in the woods completely still was not his idea of a good time. Once the other team got further into the woods, his team would circle around them, trying to take them out that way.

Mercedes walked right past him. If he hadn't known that Shane would be close by he would have shot her. As it was, he waited. When the other boy walked by, Finn quickly pulled his gun up, shooting him. "Shit," Shane said quietly, realizing that it was a fatal wound. Sitting down on the ground, he glared at Finn. Finn shrugged, grinning.

He waited for Mercedes to come back and check on her boyfriend, trying to hide behind a tree. When she showed up, she saw Shane "dead" on the ground and turned around to run. Finn shot at her, but missed. "Damnit," he said to himself, rolling his eyes at the other boys smirk.

Finn slowly made his way through the woods, careful to make as little noise as possible. He found Mercedes sitting on the ground by Rachel's tree. He looked up at his tiny girlfriend and she gave him a thumb's up. "Mmm hmm," Mercedes said, crossing her arms over her chest. Rachel had gotten her right in the center of her body, a definite kill shot.

Santana came crashing through the woods, pulling up short when she saw Finn. "Duck!" she said, and both of them hit the ground as paintballs flew over their heads.

"Who is it?" Finn asked her, still on the ground.

"Fucking Brittany," Santana said, sighing. "Why can't we ever get her on our team?"

Finn shrugged, his eyes watching the woods. He knew that Rachel would be on the look out too. He saw Blaine come into view, pulling his gun up to take a shot. Before Finn could shoot him, the other boy shot Santana, delivering a "death shot."

"Son of a bitch," she said, rolling into a sitting position.

Finn's shot got Blaine in the leg, and the other boy ducked back into the woods. "Shit," Finn said quietly. "Sorry San," he told his friend. She shrugged, looking down at her nails.

They looked up as they heard Rachel's gun shoot, then looked around to see who she was shooting at. "It's Britt," Santana said. "Berry must not have gotten her."

"I'll go," Finn said, getting up and going after the blonde.

Puck was the next one to rush into the small clearing. "Fuck," he said, seeing Santana. "I'd hoped you were still up. We lost Artie, too. I got Sam though. Boy was rusty."

"Blaine got me," Santana told him. "Finn got Shane and Rachel got Mercedes, though," she said, nodding to where the latter was sitting.

Puck nodded at Mercedes. "I think Brittany is behind me," he said and Mercedes laughed.

"Brittany's going to get all of y'all," she said.

Santana glared at her for a moment, then looked at Puck. "Just get them first," she told him.

Puck grinned. "That's the plan," he said. Hearing a gun shot, he ducked, looking around. He hadn't been hit.

"Come on, Rachel, really?" Tina complained, lowering the gun she'd been aiming at Puck and sitting down on the ground.

Puck looked up at Rachel and saluted and she grinned down at him, motioning for him to go in the direction Finn had gone in. "I'll be back," Puck told them.

"We'll be here," Tina said grumpily.

Puck ran through the woods, finding Finn sitting beside a tree. "What are you doing?" he asked his friend.

"Brittany shot me in the arm," Finn told him. "I'm just waiting until someone walks by and I can shoot them."

"Rachel got Tina, so they have four down and we have two."

"Who else went down?"

"Artie."

"Ah. I got Blaine in the leg."

"Good, that'll slow him down." Puck shook his head. "It's Brittany and Mike we really have to worry about, because I already got Sam."

Finn nodded. "Go find one of them and kill them," he told his friend.

Puck laughed quietly. "Yeah, why don't I just go do that?" He got up, walking carefully through the woods.

Hearing someone beside him, Finn turned quickly and saw Blaine sneaking up behind Puck. Aiming his gun, he shot the other boy. "Shit," he heard Blaine say quietly, sitting down. He looked over at Finn and flipped him off.

Finn grinned, turning to find that Puck had moved out of sight. With Blaine down too, there was only Mike and Brittany left. Both were amazing players and Finn figured that his team was at a disadvantage though they'd only lost two players.

Deciding that he couldn't sit still, he got up and moved back in the direction of Rachel, surprised when Kurt jumped up from beside him, gun in his hand. "Holy crap, Finn!" he said in a loud whisper. "I almost shot you!"

"Calm down and shoot the bad guys," Finn told him, his heart still racing from the unexpected sight of Kurt. "Got your boy down," he told his brother, grinning.

"Fantastic!" Kurt told him. "I'm so glad he was put down before me. I told him he would be, you know." When he finished his sentence paint appeared all over his chest. "Well shit," he said, looking down. "Someone got me."

Finn ducked, not sure who had shot Kurt. He didn't see anyone. He felt a shot go over his head. "Damn," he said, trying to decide where to go. Finally he jumped up, running through the woods towards Rachel's tree. If he could just get there, Rachel could take whoever was shooting at him out.

He crashed through underbrush, making a new trail, hearing the person behind him gain on him. Not bothering to turn around and look behind him, he kept running and hoped he was going in the right direction. Reaching the clearing he came face to face with Brittany. She looked up at him, shocked. Finn just dropped to the ground as Mike shot behind him, hitting Brittany in the chest. Before he could shoot again, Rachel shot him.

Finn stood up, grinning. "We said friendly fire counts."

"I know, I know," Mike said, sitting down hard. "You and Rachel are left standing."

"What about Puck?"

"Shot him right before I got Kurt."

"Everyone else down?" Finn asked, looking around.

"You got us all," he said, sighing.

Finn looked up at the tree, smiling. "We beat them, babe!"

Rachel laughed. "It's over!" she called out, hoping all of their friends could hear. Finn walked to the tree to help her down as their friends came into the clearing.

They switched colors and guns, playing again. Though it was closer this time, it came down to Brittany and Rachel, and the smaller girl was just much better at hiding. Finn's team won again.

"Hot, tired and all scratched up," Sam said, walking out of the woods. "I'd forgotten how much I loved this."

"Seems like we've got a lot of extra ammo," Artie said, looking at his gun as Brittany pushed him. Without warning, he pointed the gun at Kurt and shot him.

"Artie!" Kurt shouted, turning around to shoot him back.

Laughing, Brittany shot Santana in the butt. What better way to use the rest of the ammo, right? The group ran, shooting each other. Finn took Rachel's hand, pulling her behind him. He looked back to watch her duck, laughing. A paintball hit him in the shoulder and he shot behind him, covering for Rachel.

When they got back to Ms. Mally, they were all completely covered in paint. "You kids have a good time?" she asked them, laughing. She directed them to the side of the building where there were several water hoses hooked up. Finn sprayed Rachel off and then she returned the favor.

Once they'd all gotten as clean as they could, they made plans to meet at later on. Finn watched Sam help Puck get Beth into the car as he held the door of his truck open for Rachel. "What is it?" she asked him.

He turned around and looked at her. "Just thinking," he said.

Rachel laughed. "Obviously. But what about?"

Finn leaned in the truck, planting a kiss on her lips. "How amazing my girlfriend is."

"Really?"

"It's because of you that Sam's here. We're all here, and we're having such a good time."

"I am pretty wonderful," she said, grinning widely.

Finn nodded. "You feeling better?" he asked her.

Rachel sighed, her smile slipping a little. "It's so soon," she told him, looking down into her lap. "I just keep thinking about how soon it is. It will be time for everyone to leave before we know it."

Finn nodded, watching his friends leave the paintball field. "I know baby. But we never really have to say goodbye, you know?" She looked at him. "We can still all see each other."

"I know that," she told him. "I know."

"Rach, promise me something," he said, taking her hand. She looked at him. "Promise me that you're just going to enjoy this next week, okay? I hate it when you're upset because I know it's my fault." Rachel frowned but he continued. "Please, babe? It would make me happy."

Rachel sighed, smiling at him. "Oh, all right. I promise."

"Good," he told her, kissing her forehead. He went around the truck and got into the driver side. They waved at Ms. Mally as they pulled out, Finn grinning.

"What are you smiling about?" Rachel asked him.

He didn't answer, but began whistling "We are the Champions" as he drove. Rachel sat back in her seat, happy. Winning always felt good.


	13. Chapter 13

Finn woke up in the dark room, surprised that he'd even gone to sleep. He'd lain awake watching Rachel for hours after she'd dozed off; it was his last night at home and he'd felt like going to sleep would mean that this life was over. He wasn't sure he was ready to let it go.

He reached for his cell and pushed a button to check the time. 4 am. He still had 12 hours in Lima. He looked back at Rachel and debated on whether or not he should wake her up. In the glow of the moonlight coming through the window he could make out her face and the soft curve of her shoulder. Leaning over, he pressed light open mouthed kisses on her skin.

Rachel sighed in her sleep, moving closer to him. Finn lowered the blanket that was covering her and just looked at her body in the low light. He'd never seen anything so perfect, and he knew he'd never find anything to compare to it. Leaning his head over, his mouth covered her nipple, sucking lightly on it. Rachel gasped, still not awake.

He smiled, his hand running over her body, his fingers sliding between her thighs. She moaned as he touched her, her head tossing against the pillow. Finn moved to the other nipple, sucking on it as well, and grinned when her eyes flew open. "Finn!" she said in a loud whisper, her hips moving beneath his hand.

"Fall apart for me, Rachel," he said huskily. "I want to watch you fall apart."

Moving down the bed, he spread her legs wider, watching her face as he lowered his lips to the inside of her thighs. Rachel moaned, her hands clutching the blanket under her. When his tongue touched her center she pulled a pillow over her head, screaming. Finn chuckled, reaching up to remove the pillow. "No," he said.

"But everyone will hear me," she panted, rising on her elbows to look at him.

Finn shook his head. "I want to watch your face," he told her.

"But," she said, then fell back on the bed and moaned as his tongue touched her again.

Finn watched her face as he tasted her, his entire body throbbing. He slid a finger inside her as he licked her and her entire body shook. Moving his finger in time with his tongue, it wasn't long before Rachel was a writhing mess, unable to sit still as she arched her hips into him, begging him for more. "More what?" he asked.

"Please, Finn, I need all of you," she said, looking at him. "Please?"

Finn nodded and rose over her, placing himself between her legs. Before entering her, his fingers found the place his tongue had just left, rubbing her until she was ready to explode. Right before she came, he thrust into her, covering her mouth with his hand to stifle her scream.

Rachel's body tightened around him as she bucked wildly under him, every nerve ending on fire. Finn removed his hand from her mouth, grabbing her legs and pulling her even closer to him. Rachel gasped as he pounded into her, her eyes never leaving his. This time the wave of heat surprised her and she grabbed his head and pulled it down to her, kissing him as she rode it out. Finn fell forward, ramming into her with his own release, moaning her name.

He lay on his back beside her, pulling her on top of him. He grabbed the blanket and covered them, waiting for his heart to stop racing. Rachel listened to the steady beat of it, lightly kissing his chest.

"I love you," she said, looking up into his face.

"I love you too," he told her, stroking her hair.

Rachel put her head back down, content to listen to the beat for a while longer. "It's after four," he told her after a few minutes.

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, as if that could help block out the day ahead. "I can't believe I went to sleep," she said softly. She looked at him again. "I shouldn't have."

"You haven't gotten any sleep in the past week, Rach," Finn told her. "You needed it."

Rachel sat up on top of him, shaking her head. "Not when this is the last time I'll spend with you for so long," she told him, chin trembling. She'd not cried all week, promising herself that she was going to stay strong for her love. But now it was getting ready to be time to let him go and she didn't think she was strong enough. "I wish I could go with you."

"No you don't, babe," he told her. "Basic training isn't somewhere you'd like to be."

"It would be if you were there," she told him. "I'd go anywhere if you were there."

Finn looked into her eyes, his hand caressing her face. "Shelby is letting Puck keep Beth for a while once we get to Hawaii," he told her casually. "She'll probably stay for at least a month."

Rachel was quiet for a moment, not sure what that meant. Tilting her head up, she looked at him again. "What are you saying?"

Finn shrugged. "We'll be living off base," he told her. "So we could have visitors whenever."

Rachel sat up again. "Are you asking me to come stay with you in Hawaii?"

Finn didn't look at her. "I mean, you could…I wouldn't want you to if you didn't want to or anything. Like, if you were on Broadway already or whatever."

Rachel kissed him, her mouth silencing his rambling. Pulling away from him, she stared into his eyes. "Are you sure? Like, sure sure? I mean, have you thought about it?"

Finn sat up, scooting back until his back was at the baseboard of the bed, and put his arms around her. "I've thought about it," he told her, deciding to just say what he meant. "Rach, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it without you when I'm in Korea or Iraq or wherever it is I'm going, but if I'm going to be stationed somewhere where you can be, I want you there." He paused for a moment. "Please." The desperation in his voice was heartbreaking.

"I'll come," she told him, smiling. "Wherever you are, I'll come."

Finn kissed her, grinning. "Really?"

Rachel nodded. "Wherever you are is where I want to be."

"If something changes," he told her, "I'll understand. I know that you're going to be making a life for yourself in New York and I know that you may not want to leave it. But I just wanted to let you know that I want to be with you anytime I can be."

"I don't know what I'm going to be doing," she told him. "I don't even know when it will be." She cupped his face with her hands. "But I _do _know that this feeling? It's not going to go away. Do you remember when you told me we're tethered?"

Finn nodded. Shortly after they'd gotten back together she'd asked him why he'd broken up with Quinn and he'd explained what had happened at Jean's funeral. "Yeah."

"No matter where you go, we'll still be tethered. Forever."

Finn rubbed her lips with his thumb, then kissed her head. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, her face resting on his shoulder. "I don't want to let you go," he told her.

"I don't want you to," she said.

Finn's phone vibrated and Rachel looked up at him, confused. He reached for it and saw that he had a message. Reading it, he smiled. "Sam says that as soon as I can unwrap myself from you, he's fixing breakfast upstairs." The entire club was staying at a large cabin by the lake to celebrate their last weekend together.

Rachel grinned. "He can wait a minute, right?" she asked, kissing his neck. Finn laughed, rubbing her back.

Twenty minutes later he made it to the kitchen. Sam looked at him pointedly. "Sorry," Finn said sheepishly. "I was asleep."

"Is that what you call it?" his friend asked, grinning.

"Or studying." They both laughed. "Rachel is taking a shower; she'll be up in a little bit."

Sam nodded. "Here, cook this," he said, handing Finn a large package of bacon. Finn stared at it for a moment, not really sure how to "cook this." Shrugging, he figured that now was a good time to learn. The boys worked together in silence for a few minutes. "Are you scared?" Sam finally asked him.

Finn shrugged. "A little."

"I'd be freaking out," the other boy admitted.

"Really?" Finn asked.

"Yeah." Sam jumped up on the counter to sit, looking at Finn. "Dude, what you guys are doing…it's dangerous."

Finn nodded, trying to figure out how to turn the bacon without getting burned. "I know it is. But we'll be saving people."

"Who's going to save you if you get in trouble?' Sam asked him.

Finn shrugged. "Puck."

Sam rolled his eyes. "We're at war."

"I know," Finn told him. He sighed, standing back, resting his hip on the counter. "Look, I know it's crazy, alright? I know it is. But it's something that I felt like I needed to do."

"I get it," Sam told him. "I just wish I didn't."

"You know I'm getting an XBOX as soon as I get to wherever I'm going," Finn said with a grin.

Sam nodded. "I'll get the chance to beat your ass on at least two different continents, then," he said.

"So what are you doing?" Finn asked him. "Vanderbilt is a good school."

"Pre med," Sam said, then winked. "It'll drive the girls wild."

"No shit," Finn said, impressed. "I'd like to help people like that, but I couldn't go to school for that long. I'd shoot myself or something."

"I'm probably going to be a small town family doctor," Sam said. He shrugged. "I like small towns."

"I don't," Finn said, looking at the bacon again. "I feel like I'm smothering here."

"I guess you and Rachel are more alike than you thought."

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose her," Finn said quietly. "I'm more afraid of losing Rachel than of my plane going down or of being shot or of a parachute not opening." He looked at his friend. "That's not normal, right?"

"Nope," Sam said good naturedly. "But I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"That's what everyone says," Finn said. "And I hope they're right. It doesn't make me any less scared though." Bacon grease popped up and hit his wrist. "Shit," he said, bringing it to his mouth and sucking on it.

"You don't even know how to cook bacon," Sam said, shaking his head.

"Hey, I'm learning here," Finn said defensively.

"Why did you two girls have to wake me up so early?" Mike complained, walking into the kitchen.

"How did we wake you up?" Sam asked him, hopping off of the counter.

"When bacon cooks, I wake up," Mike said, sitting at the counter and rubbing his eyes. He looked at Finn. "Today's the day, huh?"

Finn nodded. "You gonna miss me?"

"Nope," Mike said, smiling.

"Lies," Finn said, grinning and turning the bacon.

"Says he's going to get an XBOX when he gets wherever it is he's going," Sam told Mike.

"Good. I'll get to beat his ass on two different continents."

"You guys suck," Finn said, wincing as bacon grease splattered on him again. "Maybe Rachel has the right idea," he grumbled, thinking that he'd never try to cook bacon again.

"I'll tell you what sucks," Sam said. "You. At video games."

Finn glared at him. "Says the dude that screamed like a girl the last time we played COD."

Sam frowned. "Are you sure you weren't playing with my little sister?"

Finn's mouth opened in shock. "I don't think so-" he said, confused.

Sam and Mike both burst out laughing. "Nah, dude, it was me. Calm down."

"Yeah, you guys suck," Finn said, glaring at them.

"Harvard, Mike?" Sam said. "Really? Harvard?"

"Hey man," Mike said, "my dad insisted. I'd much rather be going to school for dance."

"You _should_ be going to school for dance," Finn told him. "If I could move like you, I'd have been able to get into NYADA with Rachel and Blaine."

Mike shrugged. "I want to make my parents happy."

"What about what makes you happy?" Sam asked him.

"Beating Finn's ass at Call of Duty while he's an actual soldier will make me happy," Mike said.

"Airman," Finn said. "And you're both full of shit. Rach and I kick your asses every time we play."

"Yeah, who saw that one coming?" Sam said. "I thought I was playing you one night and you were raping my soul and then Rachel started cracking up over the mic."

Finn grinned at his friend. "I taught her everything she knows."

"Who taught her the rest?" Mike asked.

"Dicks," Finn said under his breath, putting bacon on a plate. He wasn't even sure it was done, but he knew he was done messing with it.

"Puck gone to get Beth already?" Mike asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, he left just a while ago. He'll be meeting us at the airport."

Finn's stomach tightened at Sam's words and he suddenly needed Rachel. He turned the stove off and looked at his friends. "I'll be right back," he said.

He ran down the steps, finding her brushing out her wet hair. "Hey," she said, smiling at him.

He pulled her to him, his mouth moving over hers demandingly, his tongue pushing past her lips and sweeping the inside of her mouth. Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck, her tongue dancing with his. Finn pulled away, breathing heavily, and rested his forehead on hers. "I don't want to go," he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "I want to stay here, with you."

Rachel watched as the tears spilled down his face. "Oh baby," she said, wiping them away with her thumbs. "I don't want you to go either."

Finn dropped to his knees and buried his face in her white sundress, letting the tears fall. He was leaving everything he loved the most and going towards the unknown. He'd never been more scared in his life. Rachel ran her fingers through his hair, whispering to him. "It's okay, Finn. It's going to be okay." She lowered herself to her knees, looking into his face. "This isn't the end," she told him. "This is the beginning."

Finn nodded, tears still streaming down his face. Rachel wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his chest, crying with him. It was the end of something special for both of them; she didn't know if either of them were really prepared for what comes next.


	14. Chapter 14

_Dear Rachel, _

_ I miss you so much it hurts. I probably shouldn't write that, should I? But I really do. I'm sorry I cried when I got to call you yesterday. I didn't mean to. And I didn't mean to make you cry, either. I'm really sorry, babe. _

_ Things are okay here. My T.I. hates me, I think. He yells at me all of the time. But he yells at everyone, so maybe he doesn't hate me? Or maybe he hates everyone. He's a lot like Sue, so he probably does hate everyone. _

_ Every day seems the same here. We get up and run every morning and it's always so hot. I used to think I got hot during football practice, but that was nothing. I think San Antonio must be what hell feels like. It doesn't cool off at night, either. The land is so dry and cracked. I can't believe I'm writing this, but I actually miss Ohio. I miss the green, anyway._

_ We never really get free time. When we're not running or in class or doing PT in the yard we're cleaning. Mom would be proud. You should see the way I can make a bed now. It's pretty awesome. _

_ The food is good but we don't get a lot of time to eat it. I miss your banana bread. I think about it every time we eat. Puck misses it too, he told me to tell you. He eats anything they put in front of us, but I think you and mom spoiled me. _

_ I hope you guys got everything set up okay. I know Kurt was counting on me helping move the big stuff; I guess I forgot that I wouldn't be around to help. I have to admit, though, thinking about him and Blaine moving it all made me laugh a little. You should send me a picture of your new room. I wonder what it looks like._

_ I miss your face, Rach. I miss your hair and the way you smell. Every night I lie in bed for at least an hour and wonder what you're doing or where you are…if you're okay. Who you're with. Any time I see someone smile I see your smile. Every time I hear a song on the radio I hear your voice singing it. My hands miss touching your skin._

_ I love you and I hope that wherever you are, you're smiling. _

_ Finn_

Finn sat and looked at the letter, deciding that it was okay. He'd spent the whole day trying to figure out what to put in it; when his T.I. was screaming at him for not being fast enough, he'd been thinking about Rachel. When he was scrubbing the floor of his dorm, he was thinking about Rachel. When he was taking a shower and getting ready for bed, he was thinking about Rachel.

He wasn't miserable, but he wasn't happy. He did what his T.I. told him to do and he didn't talk back. But missing Rachel physically hurt him sometimes. What he'd written in the letter was true; most nights he'd stay awake and think of her.

Puck was dealing with his feelings differently; he'd somehow found a way to keep his sex shark status, even though they could barely go to the bathroom without a T.I. up their ass. There were a lot of girls around that didn't make a secret of the fact that they enjoyed sex…and that they'd enjoy it with Finn. Finn never even looked at the girls who flirted with him though. He'd figured Puck would ride him about it, but his friend understood how much he loved Rachel and left him alone. He laughed and said that it left more for him.

He'd made some new friends and they mocked him a little for his "pansy assed ways," but for the most part they got it. Two of the guys he was closest to had girls back home, so they got it. Their girls probably weren't as special as Rachel…but then, no one was.

* * *

><p><em>My dearest Finn,<em>

_ You should never apologize for how you feel. Hearing your voice for the first time since you'd been gone, I would have cried anyway. I miss you, too, Finn. So much. I've never been so long without seeing your smile and it hurts me. _

_ I find myself wondering the same things about you; what you're doing, what you're eating, what you're thinking about. You're the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. I hope your drill sergeant (or T.I., I guess?) isn't being too hard on you. Blaine and I have been watching movies about basic training and war and it pains me to think about you having to go through anything like that. Please, tell me that things aren't as bad for you as they are shown to be in the movies; I don't think I could take it if they were._

_Besides your absence, things here are good! I've already been to two auditions. I did terribly at both, but at least I had the experience. I now know what to expect, so I'll be better prepared. My classes started yesterday and there are so many talented people! I am, of course, more talented than they are. My teachers haven't yet realized that I'm the most gifted, but they will. I'm sure of it. _

_ Kurt is over all the time. His roommate is on the football team and not a fan of pink. Things aren't going too well there, which is upsetting. I tried to mediate but that didn't go well at all either. The boy is David Karofsky made over. The old David. Since Kurt can stay here as much as he wants, we don't think it will be much of a problem. _

_ I love everything about New York, just like I knew I would. You're going to love it too. There's something new going on every minute, and the people are amazing. So many different cultures mixed into one place; it's beautiful. _

_ I think about you all of the time. I can see us together in all of the places I visit and I can't wait until it happens. I try to picture you in Texas and I just can't. I guess the truth is that I don't want you to be there. I want you to be here, with me. But I'm so proud of you and everything you're doing, and I know in my heart that what you're doing is the right thing. You're so strong, Finn. You truly are my hero._

_ Know that any time I'm thinking of you, I am smiling. _

_ With all my love,_

_ Rachel_

So many lies in one letter, Rachel thought to herself. Things weren't going well at all; Kurt's roommate made David Karofsky look like a kitten. The bullying Kurt had gone through in high school was nothing compared to what he was going through now. Talking to his RA hadn't helped at all, and Kurt couldn't get a different room or roommate. Rachel had tried to talk to the other boy but he'd actually put his hands on her, pushing her against the wall. Horrified, Rachel had simply stared at him in shock as he joked to his Neanderthal friend about how much fun it would be to take advantage of her small stature. At least she _hoped _it was a joke.

And Rachel hadn't just "done terribly" at her auditions, she'd completely bombed them. After her auditions, they didn't even thank her for trying or tell her how lovely her voice was; they just ignored her completely and called for the next girl. She'd felt horribly out of place, especially when she noticed some of the other girls smirking at her. The talent of those other girls had blown her away; her self confidence had taken a huge hit. She had embarrassed herself, but she was determined to learn from the experience and move on from here; she refused to accept defeat.

The main reason things weren't okay, though, was that Finn wasn't there. She cried herself to sleep every night; she missed him more than she'd imaged was possible. Her heart literally ached with his absence. She missed his arms being around her. She missed his smile. She missed his voice and his hair and his freckles and his laugh…she missed everything. Last night had been particularly bad; Blaine had come into her room around midnight and held her as she cried.

She was so grateful for Blaine and Kurt. They'd let her cry for two days straight after Finn had left, but then they'd forced her to get up and get on with her life. They understood how much she was hurting and let her hurt, but they gave her reasons to be happy too. They really were the best friends she could ever ask for.

Rachel walked through the apartment she shared with Blaine and put her letter on the counter to send out in the morning. She sat on the couch, pulling her legs under her, and began to sing softly. Blaine came to his bedroom door and leaned against it, watching her. "You okay?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head. "I miss him so much," she said simply.

"I know you do," he said, walking into the room and sitting beside her. "And I know that he misses you just as much." He looked at her. "Did you send him the picture I took?" Because Finn had asked for one, Rachel had Blaine take a picture of her in her new bedroom. True to her word, the room was in blue. Pictures of her and Finn were scattered throughout the room. Kurt jokingly called her room a shrine, and Rachel could admit there was a little truthfulness to the comparison.

Rachel nodded, putting her head on her friends shoulder. "Thank you, Blaine, for being here for me."

"You're welcome," he told her.

"How's Kurt?" She had been surprised that her friend wasn't staying over tonight. He normally stayed over every night.

"He was just too tired to make the trip tonight."

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"I hope so," Blaine said, sighing. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, each hoping that the one they loved was safe.


	15. Chapter 15

_Dear Rachel, _

_ Things seem to be getting a little better with my T.I. Once he realized that Puck and I already have so much experience jumping, he seemed pretty impressed. Now we just have to live through the rest of our instruction. It's actually a lot like high school; football practice, school, football practice, chores. Only this makes football practice look like a cake walk. And speaking of cake, I'd just about kill for a piece of cake. Puck smarted off to the T.I. and he took all sugar away from us and we probably won't get it back. It sucks._

_ I showed off your picture to all the guys here. They're jealous because my girlfriend is so much more beautiful than theirs. I'm not making that up, you can ask Puck. Two of the guys offered to trade me, but I told them that it's you and me forever, babe. They think you're really hot, which is both flattering and annoying. I don't want to think about them thinking about you, because it makes me want to punch them. If I punch them we'll have phone privileges taken away for the rest of our time here and I can't stand the thought of not being able to hear your voice. So I won't punch them and I'll be good. But they better not say anything else._

_Your room looks great, the blue is awesome. It took me a full day to realize that I was supposed to be looking at it and not you. I like your hair the way you're fixing it now and I want you to stop wearing that little skirt immediately. When I get home you can start wearing it again, okay? _

_ I don't like the idea of some guy bullying Kurt. I wish there was some way I could help him; it's frustrating knowing that my brother needs me and I'm a million miles away. After graduation, I'll be up there, so I'll take care of it then. Stay away from him, Rach. I know guys like that; they can be dangerous. If he made it all the way through high school and still acts like that, he'll think he owns the world._

_ I don't believe that you did badly in your auditions. I don't think it's possible. You're always amazing and you have a voice like an angel. If they didn't call you back, it's their loss. I know that you're great and soon they'll know that you're great too. It may take them a while to get used to your awesomeness. _

_ Have Kurt and Blaine auditioned any or are they waiting? And how's school? Is it like normal school or do you dance and sing all day long? If you just dance and sing all day long, that's not fair. It wouldn't be like school at all…more like vacation for you. _

_ I hope that you love every minute of New York and your new life there. I hope that you're seeing all of the sights so you can take me around and show them to me. Pick out your favorite spot and send me a picture so I can picture us there. I spend all day trying to picture us together in New York, but the only picture I have is the one of you in your bedroom…and if I thought about us together in there anymore I'd walk out of this place and never come back. _

_ God, I miss you, Rachel. I thought that it would get better but it hasn't. It's getting worse. I feel like this is taking forever and it's just a never ending cycle of the same thing, day in and day out. There are no breaks, no chances to just stop and take a breath. From the moment I get up, I'm rushed around until I go to bed at night. It's not as bad as the movies make it out to be, though, so you can rest easy about that. _

_ I miss your pretty face. I hope that wherever you are, you're thinking of me and smiling. I love you._

_Finn_

Rachel had never been so happy to get a letter before. She had checked the mail at least four times every day for the past three days, hoping that she'd get it. When she'd picked up her mail today and saw his chicken scratch handwriting her heart had done a flip in her chest.

As much as he missed her, she missed him. She was silently sure that she actually missed him more than he missed her, because it wasn't humanly possible to miss someone more than she did him. He filled her thoughts constantly. She'd been on a couple more auditions, and while singing "My Man," she always thought of him…the same way she always had. And though she still wasn't getting call backs, at least they were smiling at her after she was done now.

She just had to work harder. Her life wasn't all dancing and singing, like Finn seemed to think. Well, it kind of was, but not the fun kind of dancing and singing. She had to work so hard in all of her dancing and vocal classes, not to mention the dramatic arts classes. Apparently, she made funny faces when she sang and that's something she needed to work on. Well, work on it she would.

She walked down the hallway to Kurt's room, excited about showing him her new letter. Kurt had been staying in his dorm a little more just because his work load was incredibly difficult too and he was exhausted. Besides all of the regular classes he was having to take to remain a student of good standing, he was taking extra vocal and dance lessons. While Rachel and Blaine had those classes built into their days, his were all added upon what he was already doing. Rachel was so proud of him for not giving up on his dream…and a little in awe of his strength.

She knocked on the door and waited, looking around. There was usually several guys running around in various states of undress in the halls; men were pigs, she and Blaine had decided. When the door swung open, the bright smile she'd planned on using for Kurt dropped immediately. "Never mind," she said to his roommate Billy. "I'll come back later." Kurt's roommate was a terrible man and he made Rachel nervous. She wished that Kurt would just move in with her and Blaine, but he said it would be much more trouble than it was worth. Looking up into this boys leering face, Rachel couldn't disagree more.

"Hey there, pretty little Berry," he said, grinning at her. "Come to see your girlfriend?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I doubt that girlfriend is a word you get to use very often." She turned to walk off, but he grabbed her arm.

"You've got spirit," he said. "I like that."

"You have bad breath," Rachel informed him. "Now let me go."

"Your friend is in here," Billy told her. "He's been sick all night. You sure you want to run off?"

"Oh no," Rachel said, pushing past the boy and going into the room. "Kurt, are you okay?" She stopped a few steps into the room. Kurt wasn't there. Panic flooding through her system, she quickly turned around to leave but Billy was standing in front of the door, pulling it closed.

Rachel opened her mouth to scream, but the boy was faster, covering her lips with his hand. "Come on, baby," he said, smiling at her. "You don't want to cause any trouble, do you?"

Rachel stared at him, wide eyed. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she was going to pass out. How could she have been so stupid? She knew that Kurt would have called her or Blaine if he wasn't feeling well. She knew that this guy was a creep.

"Now I'm going to take my hand away from your mouth and you're going to be quiet. Do you understand?" Rachel nodded. When he lifted his hand she sucked in a breath and prepared to scream. As if he knew what she was going to do, his hand quickly came up, slapping her. The force of the blow dazed her, knocking her to her knees.

"That's where I like my women," he said, laughing. He pushed her backwards and she lay on the floor, the room spinning wildly around her.

Billy fell on top of her, knocking the breath out of her. Rachel shook her head, trying to clear it, as he ripped at her clothes. When she felt air on her skin, she began to frantically fight him off, clawing every inch of skin she could reach. Billy rose and hit her again, more forcefully this time. Rachel's head fell to the floor as he touched and bit her.

She felt his hand moving up her leg, pushing past her underwear. She tried to cry out as he stuck his fingers inside her but she realized his other hand was covering her mouth. Through the tears in her eyes, she could see the smile of satisfaction on his face. He lowered his head, biting her breast; she moaned in pain, trying to move away from him. He was hurting every part of her and he was smiling while he did it.

She felt the fabric of her underwear being ripped away from her and closed her eyes, trying to brace herself for what was to come. He leaned over, biting her neck, unbuckling his pants. Rachel kicked at him, but her weak attempts were pathetic. He laughed, slapping her leg. "Stop that," he told her, laughing at her ineffectiveness.

A knock sounded on the door and Billy paused. "Who is it?" he called.

"Matt," the person on the other side of the door said. Rachel cried harder; Matt was just as bad as Billy.

"Oh, this will be fun," Billy said, grinning at Rachel. He hit her again and her vision faded to black as he got up to open the door for his friend.

Rachel heard the other boy come in and the two boys have a conversation. She tried to lift her head but couldn't. She knew what was going to happen and that she had to get away; she just couldn't move. Everything was gray, and the blackness was trying to take over again. Through the haze in her mind, she thought of Finn and knew that he would fight no matter what. The thought of him gave her strength she didn't realize she had and a piercing scream escaped her lips. Startled, Billy kicked her. She felt her rib crack and screamed again, this time in pain.

"Shut that bitch up," Matt said, panicking.

Billy leaned down, punching her again, knocking her out. "Fuck man," he said. "You know someone heard that."

Matt turned and ran to the door, opening it and disappearing as Billy yelled for him to come back. "Stupid fucking bitch," he growled, kicking Rachel again. He looked around the room, frantically searching for a way to keep himself out of trouble. Pounding on the door caused him to jump.

"Michaels, open your door," a voice said. It was the RA. "Open your door now."

Billy picked Rachel up and dumped her in his bed, covering her up. "Yeah," he said irritably, glaring at his RA after he'd opened the door a crack.

"Who's screaming?" the man said.

"My girlfriend," Billy told him.

"Why is she screaming?"

Billy grinned slyly. "She does that sometimes," he said, winking.

"I need to talk to her."

"You can't," Billy said. "She's embarrassed; she knows everyone from here to china heard her getting a good fucking."

The RA winced at Billy's choice of words. "I don't give a shit if she's embarrassed or not. I need to talk to her to make sure everything's okay."

Billy straightened up to his full 6'6 height. "You calling me a liar?" he asked lowly.

The RA scoffed. "I've shit things bigger than you. You don't scare me, and the fact that you're trying to isn't going to make things easy on you. I've already had more complaints on you in a month than I normally have in a year. I can't wait for you to give me a reason to kick your ass out."

Billy glared at the RA for a moment, then opened the door wider. "Come in," he said. "See for yourself."

Rachel was facing the wall, the blanket pulled up to her neck. "Must have fallen asleep," Billy commented. "I guess I really wore her out."

The RA nodded, moving to leave. "What's that noise?" he asked before he reached the door, turning around.

"What noise?" Billy asked, trying to push him out of the room.

"Is that her breathing?" the RA asked, horrified. "Has she had an asthma attack or something?"

"I can take care of it," Billy assured him.

Pushing past the bigger boy, the RA ran to the bed. Pulling the blanket off of her, he immediately noticed her ripped clothes and the bruises already forming on her body. "Oh my God," he whispered, turning around to ask Billy what he'd done. The other boy was gone. "Shit," he said, pulling out his cell phone. "911? This is Adam Dent, an RA at Brittany Hall. There's a seriously injured girl in room 248. Please hurry, I think her lung is punctured."


	16. Chapter 16

It didn't rain often in Texas, but when it did it really came down. Rain or shine, their days began and ended the same way; they still had to run. They still had to do push ups and sit ups and march. For the most part, Finn didn't mind rain…but this was something else entirely; he'd never seen a storm like the one raging outside now.

Finally dry, he stood at the window and looked out at the sky. Lightning flashed every few moments, and thunder shook the dorm. Sideways rain hit the windows with little specks of hail mixed in it. "I hope it calms down by morning," Puck said, coming up beside Finn. Finn nodded.

"Listen up, girls," their T.I. said, coming into the room. "I've decided to be a nice guy today and let any of you that wants to use those phones out there do so for the next hour." He grinned at the groans he heard.

Without hesitation, Finn walked towards the door, ready to go out and call Rachel. "Hudson," the T.I. called, walking towards him, "you miss your mommy that much?"

Finn smiled crookedly. "No, sir. My girl, sir."

"Ah, the lovely Rachel Berry I've heard so much about," the T.I. said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You miss her voice so much you're willing to brave the storm to hear it?"

"Yes sir," Finn told him.

"You constantly surprise me, Hudson," the T.I. said. He nodded in the direction of the phone. "Go ahead, then."

"Thank you, sir," Finn said. He didn't need his calling card; he'd memorized all of the information to cut down on wasted time the next chance he had at talking to Rachel.

He pushed the glass door open against the wind, struggling a little when the force of the wind pushed it back against him. The rain hitting his face felt like tiny needles. For the first time in almost two months, he was cold. And wet. Damn, he was already soaked.

Walking to the phones, he sent up a silent prayer that he didn't get struck by lightning. Dialing Rachel's number, he looked to the dorm and found that everyone was watching him. Getting her voicemail, he frowned. Maybe she was at an audition? He next dialed Kurt, pulling his shirt away from his body.

"Finn!" his brother cried into the phone.

"Hey, man," Finn said, smiling. "It's good to hear your voice."

"Oh, Finn, I didn't think they would call you!"

"Who?" Finn asked, confused.

"The Red Cross," Kurt said. "We've been fighting with them for hours now."

Finn's head spun. The only reason the Red Cross would be trying to reach him was in case of a family emergency. "What happened?" he asked his brother, breath caught in his chest. Maybe Burt had another heart attack or his mother was sick.

"Rachel was attacked," Kurt told him. "She's going to be okay, though, Finn, I promise. We're at the hospital with her now." Finn dropped to his knees on the hard concrete, still holding the phone tightly against his ear as Kurt kept talking. "My roommate trapped her in our dorm room and hurt her. Rachel screamed and the RA came to check on her, but he was able to kick her a few times, breaking four of her ribs...and one of the broken ribs punctured her lung." Finn couldn't speak. He had no breath left in his body. Kurt continued, "She's conscious now, but in a lot of pain. I'm so sorry, Finn. I should have stayed with them like she asked me to."

Puck had been watching from the window when Finn dropped to his knees. "Oh shit," he said, opening the door and running to his friend. Their T.I. followed him. "Finn," Puck said, reaching his friend. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

"Rachel," Finn said softly, staring at his friend.

Puck tore the phone from his friend's hand, wiping rain from his eyes. "Who is this?" he demanded, his heart beating so loudly he didn't know if he'd be able to hear over it. If something had happened to Rach…

"Puck? It's Kurt. I was telling Finn that Rachel was attacked today. She's going to be okay, though she had a punctured lung."

"What the fuck happened?" Puck asked as their T.I. leaned down over Finn, trying to get the other boy to respond.

"My roommate," Kurt said miserably. "He attacked her, then ran away."

"You mean he's not in jail?"

"No, no one knows where he is. But we're protecting Rachel."

"Yeah, you've done a good job so far," Puck said through clenched teeth. At Kurt's gasp, Puck let out a breath, blowing water out of his face. "Sorry, Hummel." He looked down at Finn. "We can't come up there," he told his friend.

"We know. We've been talking to the Red Cross for hours; because Rachel isn't technically family, there's no way Finn can get a leave to come here."

"I need to talk to Rachel," Finn said, looking at Puck. "I need to talk to her."

"Can Finn talk to Rach?" Puck asked the other boy.

"We're not in her room right now, but we will be in about an hour. They're running tests still. My laptop has a webcam; do you think Finn can talk to her through it?"

Puck sighed. "Probably not," he told Kurt. "We have about 50 free minutes left; we'll call you back." He hung up the phone and looked at the T.I. "Rachel was attacked today and put in the hospital. She has a bunch of broken ribs and a punctured lung."

The T.I. nodded grimly. "Sounds rough," he said, looking at Finn. "Will Hudson be able to talk to her?"

Puck shook his head. "They won't be in a room with her for another hour or so." He looked at his best friend, who was sitting with his legs pulled up against his chest, face down. "Finn can't go up there; they're not family. But our friends have a laptop with a webcam…"

The T.I. looked at Puck for a moment through the rain. "Let's get him inside," he said.

"You take him," Puck said. "I'm going to call his mom."

Helping the other boy up, the T.I. looked at Puck. "We'll see what we can do."

He took Finn into the dorm, helping the boy into a seat by the door. Nodding to some of the other men, he walked out of the room. The men, who had been watching from the windows, didn't ask Finn what had happened; it was obviously bad, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

After a few minutes, Puck came back into the dorm, shaking water off of himself. He sat beside Finn, putting his arm around his friends shoulder. "I talked to Carol," he told Finn. "She said that she's been talking to Rachel's dads and that she really is going to be okay."

"I need to be with her," Finn said. "I need to talk to her."

"I know, man, but you can't go."

"This is my fault," Finn said, looking at his friend. "If I hadn't signed up for this shit, I would have been there. I could have protected her."

"You couldn't have been with her every minute," Puck said. "This shit could have happened at any time." Finn shook his head but didn't say anything else. "Kurt said that he and Blaine were going to be taking care of her."

"_I need to be taking care of her!_" Finn yelled, standing up. Everyone in the room stopped moving, watching him. Finn sat back down, putting his face in his hands. "I need to be taking care of her," he said again, lowly.

Puck looked up, nodding at the T.I. as he came back into the room. "Hudson, Puckerman, I need to speak with you both."

Finn and Puck stood up, following the man down the hallway. They met a couple of other T.I.'s who nodded at them and kept walking. Reaching a small room neither of them had ever been allowed in, the T.I. shut the door behind them. "You both understand that because of Air Force rules, neither of you will be able to go to New York, correct?"

"Yes, sir," they said together.

"You both also realize that your communication with your family is completely up to me, as your commanding officer, correct?"

"Yes, sir," they said again.

Their T.I. gestured to the laptop sitting on a table by the wall. "You have a few minutes. Do what you need to do."

"Thank you, sir," Finn said, fighting tears. The T.I. nodded, leaving the room.

Puck moved to the computer. "How do we let Kurt know we can talk to them?"

Finn walked to the phone on the other side of the room. "I'll use my calling card."

"Dude, he didn't say we could use the phone," Puck said, nervous.

"He said we should do what we need to do," Finn said, sitting beside the phone and dialing all of the numbers he had to to make his call. "Kurt? Yeah, it's Finn. Are you with Rachel?"

"No," Kurt told him. "But we're on our way to her room right now."

"You have your laptop?"

"Yeah, I came straight here from class."

"Okay, stay on the phone with me until you get to her. You're going to set up your Skype?"

"I can…do you have a webcam there?"

"Yeah, the T.I. is letting me use one." He took a deep breath. "How is she?"

"The doctors say that she's going to be okay. She'll have to stay here for a few days, though."

"What about the guy that hurt her?"

Kurt and Blaine walked into Rachel's room to find her sitting up in the bed. "They'll find him." He pulled his laptop out and handed it to Blaine, motioning for him to get it set up.

"Got my Skype up," Puck told Finn.

"Puck's online," Finn told Kurt.

"Give Blaine just a moment. Let me talk to Rachel for a sec, okay?"

"Yeah," Finn said, his throat working.

Kurt held his hand over the phone. "Oh, Rach, I'm so sorry this happened to you," he said, bending over her to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"It's not your fault," she told him. "Have you talked to Finn?"

"He's on the phone now," Kurt told her. "But Blaine is setting up the laptop so you can see him, is that okay?"

Rachel's hand went to her hair. "But I look awful," she said.

"You look beautiful," Blaine told her. "Hey, Puck," he said at the computer. "Good to see your face."

"'Sup, Anderson?" Puck said, moving over so Finn could sit.

"Let me see Rachel," Finn said.

"Yes, sir," Blaine told him, walking to the hospital bed and putting the laptop in Rachel's lap. "She may be a little loopy from pain medication, just so you know," he said quietly.

"Finn," Rachel said, touching the screen in front of her. Tears fell down her face as she watched him struggle to speak. His beautiful brown eyes were shimmering with tears as well, and his shoulders seemed broader. Those freckles…she missed those freckles.

"Rach," he finally said, "baby, are you okay?"

"You look so handsome," she told him. "Your hair!"

Finn rubbed his head, nodding. "I don't guess I needed it."

"I miss you," she whispered, wiping tears from her face.

"I'm so sorry I can't be there," Finn told her, noticing the bruises on her face. "I'm so sorry you're hurt and I'm not there, Rach."

"You didn't do this," she said.

"I should be there, though. I miss you so much."

Kurt nodded to Blaine. "We'll wait out in the hall," he told Rachel. Rachel nodded.

"Before they go, tell them I love them," Finn told her.

"We heard you," Kurt told him. "We love you too." He shut the door behind him.

"I guess I'll wait in the hall too," Puck said. He stuck his face in front of the camera. "You be careful, Rachel."

"Hi, Noah," she said, waving at him. "I miss you."

"Yeah, I miss you too," he said. He slapped Finn on the shoulder. "Call me if you need me."

"Why are you guys so wet?" Rachel asked Finn as Puck left the room.

"We were outside and it was storming," he told her. "Rachel…are you really okay?"

"I will be," she told him. "I talked to the doctor and he said that it could take as little as 8 weeks to heal."

"Eight weeks seems like a long time," Finn told her.

"I'll be able to travel, though, so don't worry. I wouldn't miss your graduation for anything."

"Rachel, you have a punctured lung," Finn said.

"That's true, but I'm the one that just talked to the doctor, right?"

Finn couldn't help but smile at her response. It was so Rachel. "What did he say?"

"They didn't have to insert a tube," Rachel told him. "The lung was only collapsed by 15%."

"Jesus Christ, Rachel, _only_?" Finn said, putting his head in his hands.

"Watch your language," Rachel told him. She watched him for a moment. "Finn?"

Finn took a ragged breath. "None of this is okay, Rachel."

"It will be," she told him. "I will be. I promise."

"I'm going to be in Japan for at least a year," he told her.

Rachel gasped. "What?"

"My first station will be Japan. I'll be there for at least a year. And there's no Hawaii, either. If we were doing anything but Para Rescue, that's where we'd be. Right now it's looking like we may stay in Japan for the whole time we're gone. Or…we could go to Iraq."

"Oh," Rachel said softly.

Finn looked at her. "I was going to tell you in my next letter."

Rachel nodded slowly. "Does that mean…what does that mean?"

"It means you won't be coming to Hawaii to stay with me."

"But what about Japan?"

"What are you asking me?"

"Can't I come stay with you in Japan?"

Finn was silent for a moment. "You'd want to come that far?"

"I would go anywhere for you," she told him.

"But New York-"

"Will still be here when I we get back," she told him. "I'm not going to give up school to relocate to some place where you may not be anyway. But I will be in Japan every chance I get."

Finn smiled. "I worried that you wouldn't want to come. I don't know a lot about Japan, but I know it's not Hawaii."

"I didn't want to come to Hawaii because of the sand and the water. I wanted to come because of you."

Puck knocked on the door, then poked his head through. "Dude, time to go."

"No," Rachel whispered. "Not yet."

"I don't want to. I love you, Rachel. So much. I can't wait to hold you."

"I love you too," she told him. "And in a month, I'll show you how much."

Finn smiled, touching the screen. "Be careful, baby."

"You too," she said, touching her hand to her lips and then touching the screen. Then he was gone and she was left to cry in her hospital bed.


	17. Chapter 17

Of course Rachel, being Rachel, made sure that everyone got to where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there. At the beginning of the first ceremony, Rachel scanned the crowd of recruits, hoping to catch sight of Finn. She couldn't find him, though. The ceremony was lovely; Rachel appreciated the drama of it.

After it was over, they searched for him amid the sea of recruits. Rachel was no help; she couldn't see anything but the chests in front of her. She stood on her tiptoes, looking for him, but people kept running over her.

Strong hands covered her eyes from behind and her heart stopped beating. Every nerve in her body immediately jumped. "Guess who?" he whispered in her ear.

Rachel's breath caught on a sob as she slowly turned around to face him. "Finn," she breathed, looking at him. Everything about him seemed different…but his eyes and his smile were the same.

He lowered his head to hers, kissing her lightly. "Hey," he told her, pulling his head back.

"Hey," she said, the tears freely flowing down her face.

"How are you?" he asked her, his thumbs rubbing against her face and wiping the tears away.

"I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life," she said, laughing through her tears. "Your mother and Burt are here. So are Kurt and Blaine and Sam and Mike."

"Really?" Finn asked, looking around. Though he was 6'4, there were many people around that were taller than him and he didn't see any of his family or friends.

"Yeah, we all came together. Shelby brought Beth, but they came separately."

Finn turned back to her, wrapping his arms gently around her and pulling her close, burying his head into the crook of her neck. "I'm not supposed to go PDA crazy," he told her, "but I can't keep my hands off of you. God, Rach, I've missed you."

Rachel nodded, holding him. "I know."

"Finn!" Carol cried, trying to get to him.

While Finn was hugging his parents and their friends, he kept his hand in Rachel's, linking their fingers together. "Did you bring it?" he asked Rachel suddenly. "Please tell me you brought it."

Laughing, Rachel reached into her bag and pulled out a loaf of banana bread, handing it to him. He quickly unwrapped it, taking a large bite out of it. "I have Puck's too," she said, looking around. "Where is he?"

"Probably found Shelby and Beth," Finn said, mouth full. "He'll be here."

"Where can we go?" Carol asked.

"Let's go get something to eat," Finn said. "I'm starving!"

"How long do we have?"

"I should be back by 7:30," he told them.

"That doesn't give us much time," Burt said, checking his watch. "Let's go!"

"You look good, man," Sam told him, walking beside the couple.

"Yeah, you don't seem like a klutz anymore, either," Mike said.

"Boys, boys, our little Finny is all grown up," Kurt said, coming up to them.

"Kurt!" Finn said, pulling his brother in for a hug. "I've missed you."

Kurt nodded and stepped back, wiping a tear from his face as Finn hugged Blaine. "I'll text Shelby and let her know where we're going," Rachel said. "We can all eat together."

Finn answered questions the entire ride, his arm around Rachel. She remained quiet and with her head on his chest, listening to the rumble of his words. He looked different but he felt the same. She closed her eyes and pretended to herself that they were alone. What was she thinking, mentioning the graduation to so many people? Of course they'd all wanted to come…and now she had to share him. She didn't want to share him.

When they got to the restaurant, everyone started getting out of the van. "Hey, can Rach and I have a moment alone?"

"Mmm hmm," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

"We're in a van, Kurt," Finn said, sighing.

"We'll go ahead and get a seat," Carol said.

When they'd all walked into the restaurant, Finn turned to Rachel and hungrily captured her lips with his. Rachel's hand moved up to caress his cheek, her mouth opening under his. Breathing heavily, Finn pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. "Look at me, Rach," he told her when he moved his head back.

Rachel opened her eyes and looked into his. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" he asked her. "Does it still hurt?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, I'm okay."

"Can I see?"

"There's nothing to see," she told him.

"Please," he asked softly. "Please, can I see?"

Rachel pulled away from him, lifting her shirt. A faint bruise remained on her skin. Finn touched it lightly, rubbing his thumb over it. Pushing Rachel back a little, he lowered his head and brushed his lips over her skin.

Rachel groaned and he looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said, eyes wide. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It didn't hurt me," Rachel said, smiling when his eyes widened even further, then narrowed. "Rachel," he said huskily, pulling her head back to his, his entire body humming.

Puck slapped the window, startling them apart. "If our T.I. saw this, man, you'd be _dead_," he said.

Rachel blushed prettily, getting out of the car when Puck held the door open for her. "Hi Noah," she said.

"Hey there, pretty Berry," he said, bending down to hug her. "Have you seen my girl lately?" he asked her, nodding towards Shelby and Beth waiting at the door.

Finn walked up to the door, picking Beth up and tickling her. The little girl squealed, laughing as he put her down. "Finn Monster," she said happily, hopping around.

They walked into the restaurant and were surrounded by friends. Rachel never left Finn's side as they ate, smiling at all of the right times and laughing when she was supposed to. "What's wrong, babe?" he asked into her ear.

"Nothing," she said, smiling widely.

Finn frowned. "Rachel, I know you. I know something's wrong."

"I'm just glad to be here, with you," she said, putting her head against his shoulder. "I'm just trying to soak you in."

"How's school?" he asked her.

"I haven't been able to dance," she told him. "It will still be another couple of weeks before I can. I've stuck with the class, though, and hopefully can make up for lost time. The fact that I've had so much practice helps."

"Yeah, your dancing is great," Finn said. "What about the guy who hurt you? He hasn't been back around has he?" Billy had eventually been caught and arrested, banned from the dorm and kicked out of school.

"Nope," she said.

Finn's hands clenched. "I should have been there," he said again. "I'd have killed him."

Rachel looked at him, frowning. "Finn," she said.

"Sorry," he told her, taking a breath to calm down. He kissed her on the forehead. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's in the past," she said.

"No nightmares or anything?"

Rachel shrugged. "I had a few, but then they just went away." She grinned. "Replaced by the kind of dreams that I _like _to have."

"Oh yeah?" he said, grinning back at her. "What sort of dreams?"

"I can tell you," Puck said, leaning close to Rachel.

"Noah!" Rachel said, embarrassed. "Mind your own business, please!"

Puck laughed. "I'd forgotten how fun you were to tease, Rach."

"Bug off," Finn told his friend, who just shrugged and smiled. "Listen, Rach, I was thinking…tomorrow I have an all day off base pass, right?"

Rachel nodded. "Do you know what you want to do?"

Finn looked over at his mom, then back at Rachel. "I want to spend it with you. Not with mom and Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Sam and Mike. Don't get me wrong, I love them and I miss them…but I want to be with you."

Rachel grinned. "Think you're going to get lucky, do you?"

"I've been praying that I was going to get lucky for over two months now," he told her, smiling crookedly. He bent to kiss her bare shoulder, sending a jolt of heat through her body.

Rachel looked around the table, then back at him. "We can't be gone all day, Finn. You have to spend time with everyone else, too."

"I know I do, and I want to," he told her. "But I want some time with just you."

"You know that I'm sitting right here, right?" Burt said, elbowing Finn.

Rachel and Finn both blushed. "Sorry," Finn said.

Burt chuckled. "I'll make something up, give you kids a few hours." He looked at Finn sternly. "Don't do anything stupid to make me regret it."

"Thanks, Burt," Finn said. He looked at Rachel and wagged his eyebrows. "Tomorrow?"

Rachel laughed, nodding. "Tomorrow."

* * *

><p>She had barely shut the door before Finn grabbed her. His mouth crashed onto hers as she tried to unbutton his shirt. She finally pulled away, frowning at it. "What is this?" she asked, frustrated.<p>

Finn undid the top two buttons and pulled the shirt over his head. "Oh," Rachel said, looking at him. Everything about him was harder, more defined. She rubbed her hands over his chest, pressing kisses against his skin.

"My turn," Finn said, pulling her dress over her head. Rachel had bought her underwear especially for this occasion, and Finn's reaction didn't disappoint. He did everything but drool as his eyes moved down her body. "Rachel," he moaned, his hands moving over the black lace covering her breasts.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she lifted her legs and put them around him as well. Finn pushed her back against the door and Rachel gasped as the cool surface touched her naked skin. Finn pushed his pants down, freeing himself. Moving her underwear aside, he slid into her and stopped, holding them both still.

Rachel lifted her head and looked at him. "Perfect," he said. "So perfect." Rachel nodded, arching her hips into him. Finn turned around and carried her to the hotel bed, lowering her onto it and driving into her. His hand traveled between them, touching her as he moved. Rachel began moaning, so close to the edge that it hurt her. "Let go, baby," Finn told her, watching her face. "Let go." Rachel screamed, falling apart under him. Finn couldn't hold out any longer and emptied himself inside of her.

An hour later they lay tangled in the bed sheets, Rachel with her head on his chest. "I don't ever want to leave this room," Finn told her.

"Me either," she said, propping her chin on his chest and looking at him.

Finn looked down at her. "I know it's only been a couple of months," he told her, "but I feel like a completely different person."

"I do too," she said softly. "Harder."

Finn nodded. "Things are changing."

"But this is the same," Rachel said, running her fingers down his arm.

"This is the same," he agreed. "I still love you more than anything else in the world."

"As I do you," she said, smiling. "So where do you go from here?"

"New Mexico for Para Rescue training, and then I'm coming to New York for a week."

"Oh yeah?" she said, smiling. "Plans to see anyone while you're there?"

"There's this pretty little thing living there; I'm hoping I can stay with her, convince her to take me out to see the sights."

"How are you planning on convincing her?"

"Flowers, wine…my smile."

"She doesn't stand a chance," Rachel said, grinning as she kissed him.

"That's what I'm hoping," he said, rolling her over.


	18. Chapter 18

Rachel reached into the oven and pulled out the lasagna she'd just made, kicking the oven door shut and blowing her bangs out of her face. She felt completely healed from her attack. If she still freaked out a little when around a group of guys…well, that was to be expected.

She got the lasagna to the table and realized she'd not put a pot holder down to sit it on. She stood staring at the table in frustration for a second before realizing that the heat from the dish was burning through the oven mitts she was using. Turning around quickly, she almost made it back to the stove before dropping the whole thing, breaking the glass cookware and getting the lasagna everywhere.

Rachel's eyes welled with tears and she sat down hard on the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and resting her head on them. She didn't realize she was sobbing, but even if she had there was nothing she could do about it.

She'd gotten a call back for an audition. She was passing all of her classes (of course), and her teachers said that they saw a lot of potential in her. She'd made new friends and Kurt was practically living with them now, even though he had his entire room to himself. Thanksgiving and Christmas had passed and she'd been able to spend time with her family. That was good, right?

She couldn't stop crying. Ever. She still cried every night and she still missed Finn so much she couldn't breathe sometimes. Randomly she'd think of him and literally double over with the pain of his absence. She was able to talk to him much more now that he was in New Mexico as he had more freedom, but it still didn't feel like enough. She could see his face but she couldn't touch it.

"Rachel?" Blaine said, walking into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" He crouched down beside her, putting a hand on her arm. "Did you burn yourself?"

Rachel shook her head. "I ruined dinner," she said miserably.

Blaine looked at the mess. "I can clean it up," he told her.

Rachel shook her head again. "It's my mess," she said. "I'll clean it up."

"Okay." He sat down in front of her, putting his elbows on his legs and resting his chin on his fists. "So what's really going on?"

Rachel shrugged, looking at him. "I'm not happy."

"Rach, you're in New York. You're doing what you've always wanted to do. If you nail your call back- and we both know you will- you're going to be on Broadway. _Broadway_, Rachel. That's huge."

Rachel started crying again, putting her face back down. "Finn won't be here to see me," she told him.

Blaine watched her for a minute. "Rachel, he's not going to be gone forever."

"I know," she said, looking up at him again. "But I miss him now. I miss him so much."

"When do you get to talk to him again?" Blaine asked her.

"Tomorrow. He's so tired, Blaine. He's lost so much weight, and every time I talk to him he looks like he's been crying. This training is so hard on him and I'm not there to help him. I can't do anything to make it better."

"Just seeing your face probably makes it better," Blaine told her. "Seeing you happy makes him happy."

"But I'm not happy. I'm miserable."

Blaine sighed. "Is the training that hard?"

She nodded. "He's having trouble swimming 20m underwater. He can do everything else, but he's really struggling with this."

"What happens if he doesn't pass the tests?"

"He can't be a PJ."

Blaine made a face. "That would suck."

Rachel nodded. "Noah is having trouble, too, but with something else. They're both just so down."

"How's Puck's little sister?"

"I talked to their mom last week. Sarah's doing a lot better."

"I know it has to be hard on Puck, being away when his sister is so sick," Blaine said, wincing.

Rachel nodded. "He loves her so much…that's why I invited Shelby and Beth to the graduation ceremony. He needed someone there; someone to take his mind off of Sarah's illness."

"She seems too young to be battling such an awful disease."

"She is," Rachel said in agreement. Puck's little sister, Sarah, had been battling Leukemia for 6 months. It was a hard battle, but the girl was doing much better now than she had been.

"So what are you going to do about all of this," he said, gesturing to her state of distress, "when you talk to him tomorrow?"

"I'm going to smile. Laugh at his jokes. Listen when he talks. Go on with my life like I'm not dying inside."

"That's no way to be, Rachel."

"I know," she said, frustrated. "I just don't know what to do."

"How long until he's here?"

"It's only another month, and he'll be able to be here for a week."

"That's not so bad."

Rachel glared at him. "It's harder than you seem to think."

"Is Puck coming too?"

"No, he's going back to Lima to spend time with Sarah and Beth."

"I should probably make plans to stay at Kurt's that week, huh?" he asked, winking.

Rachel smiled. "Probably."

"And there's a smile," Blaine said, standing up. He held his hand out to Rachel. "Get up, wash your face, and let's order Chinese."

Rachel nodded, taking his hand. It was time to get through another day.

Gleegleegleegleegleeglee

Finn punched the wall in the locker room and pain shot through his hand and up his arm. "Shit," he mumbled, looking at the broken skin on his knuckles.

"Nice going," Puck said, walking past him.

"Did you get it?" Finn asked him.

"Still off by a second," Puck told him. "You?"

"Still off by a little," Finn said, sitting down on the bench and rubbing his hand through his hair. "I didn't come all the way out here and go through all of this garbage to not make it."

"Me either, man. I'm going to do it." They nodded at each other.

"You talked to Rachel?" Puck asked, throwing things into his locker.

"Yeah," Finn said, pulling a boot on. "She has a call back for a big part on Broadway." Puck looked over to see Finn's wide grin.

"No shit?"

"Nope. Even if she doesn't get it, this is huge."

"I bet she's pretty happy, then, isn't she?"

Finn frowned. "I guess so." He looked at his friend. "I don't know, man, she seems sort of down."

"That's because you're here and she's there."

"Oh yeah? How do you know?"

"I know Berry," Puck said. "I mean, yeah; you're her boyfriend. But Berry and I know each other. She's not going to be happy until you're together again."

"Next month," Finn said, sighing. "One more month."

"Until then, get your head out of your ass and swim the damn 20m underwater," Puck told him, slamming his locker door shut.

"Yes sir," Finn said, mock saluting his friend. He watched Puck leave the locker room, but his mind had already moved back to Rachel. All of her dreams were really coming true. He still wasn't sure what his dreams were.

He loved Para Rescue. "That others may live" was their motto, and Finn was proud to be a part of such an organization. But damn it was hard. There was running, jumping, climbing, water trials, combat…then there were classes that they had to take to learn to be functional combat medics. Finn had been worried that it was just going to be something else he'd be bad at, but he's surprised everyone when he took to the work. He figured that whenever they were called out he would die from excitement.

He didn't want to die, period. He wanted to serve his time and go home to the most beautiful woman in the world. After that, they could figure out what to do together. He couldn't imagine his life without her now, and he was pretty sure she felt the same way. Finn stood up, taking his shoes back off. With Rachel on his mind, he walked back towards the pool, determined to do whatever he had to do to pass that test.


	19. Chapter 19

They were both smiling into the webcam the next night. "Guess what?" they said in unison.

"What?" they asked, again together.

"I did it!" they both shouted.

"Baby, that's great!" Rachel said, laughing.

"I knew you'd get it, Rach," Finn said, his grin even wider. "I _knew _you would."

"I knew you'd be able to pass your tests, too," she said. "What about Puck?"

"He's still working on it but I know he'll get it."

"I'm so proud of you," she told him. "You're amazing."

"You're the amazing one, babe," he told her. "Broadway, Rachel…it's what you've always dreamed of!"

"It's not like I'm the lead," she said modestly, trying to maintain a little humility. Finn just crooked his eyebrow. "Okay, it's freaking awesome!" she finally shouted, laughing. "For me, who has no stage experience at all, to be cast even in a bit part on _Broadway _is unbelievable."

"Rach, playing Nala in "The Lion King" isn't a bit part." He sat back. "My mom hid the movie when I was little because I watched it so much."

Rachel smiled, thinking about it. "I bet you were an adorable kid," she said softly.

"Of course I was," he said, winking.

"Humble, too."

He grinned at her and his dimples melted her heart. "I try," he said.

"Try harder," she told him, laughing.

"How are Kurt and Blaine?" he asked her.

"They're both doing well. They had a big fight a couple of nights ago, but they're over it."

"What were they fighting about?"

Rachel shrugged. "If they want me to know they'll tell me. We're going out later to celebrate."

"You deserve it," he told her. "No kissing Blaine, though, okay?"

"I'll try to behave myself," she said, rolling her eyes.

"You do that," he said, grinning.

"You don't have to worry," she promised him, giving him a little smile.

Finn looked around. "Have you talked to Ms. Puckerman about Sarah?"

"I heard that she was doing a little better," she told him. "Has Puck said anything about it?"

Finn shook his head. "No, but I know that between missing Beth and Sarah being so sick, he's really stressed out."

"Has he heard from Quinn?"

"No, have any of you?"

"Nope. I talked to Shelby the other day and she didn't mention her."

Finn frowned. "Maybe she's just trying to get her life back on track."

"I hope so."

"Me, too." Finn sighed. "Do you miss me?" he asked her, smiling crookedly.

"So much," she whispered. "Do you miss me?"

"Nope." He laughed when she sat up. "It sucks when someone does that, huh?"

Rachel shook her head. "Jerk."

"Yeah, but you love me."

Rachel nodded. "I do."

"I miss you, Rach," he told her. "I don't get to hear your laugh enough like this. I'm so excited about seeing you in a month. Tell Blaine he's going to have to go stay at Kurt's."

"Already told him," she said. "I have so many amazing places to show you!"

Finn leaned towards the webcam. "What if we never leave your room? Would that be so bad?"

Rachel felt a tug of lust in her stomach. "I would be okay with that," she told him.

"I miss your skin," he told her softly. "I miss your taste."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat. "Finn…"

"I miss running my hands up your legs and then wrapping them around me." He put his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together. "I miss the sound of your moans." His voice got lower. "Do you miss me, Rach?" he asked her again.

"I miss your hands touching my body," she told him. "I miss your lips brushing across my skin. I miss the sound you make when I lick the spot right below your ear. I miss your arms around me."

"You're too far away," he told her lowly.

"I know," she said softly. "But I won't always be."

"That's the only reason I haven't lost my mind," he admitted. "You're what keeps me sane in this place."

"I'm not sane," she told him. "I'm a mess." She winced. "I probably shouldn't have said that."

"Why?" he asked her. "What's wrong?"

"Missing you…it's taken over everything else." She frowned. "I don't want to sound pathetic or clingy or anything. I just miss you more than I'd thought I would and it hurts sometimes."

"You don't sound pathetic or clingy, Rach," he told her gently. "I know how you feel, and I'm sorry that I'm not there."

Rachel shook her head. "Even though I miss you so much, I think that in the long run this really was for the best. I think that you were right when you said that we'd need to see who we are on our own."

"I've realized that I'm stronger than I thought," he told her. "But that I'm only whole when I'm with you."

Rachel nodded, a tear slipping down her face. "It's the same for me." She wiped the errant tear, determined not to cry in front of him. "You really are my other half."

Finn nodded. "Crazy, huh? That we found our true love in high school?"

Rachel smiled. "The only thing that would be crazy is if we'd kept pretending we hadn't."

"I'm not wasting any more time," Finn promised her. "I've got a plan."

"Oh yeah?" Rachel asked, laughing quietly. "And what is it?"

"Well, we're going to get married and have babies and live happily ever after." He grinned at her like he'd just cured cancer.

"That does sound like an excellent plan," she told him. The idea of a little Finn with that same crooked smile was almost more than her heart could take. "And where are we going to live?"

"Wherever you want to."

"You don't care?"

He shook his head. "Wherever you are will be home to me."

"What if I want to live on the moon?" she asked teasingly.

"I'd build a rocket and fly us there," he told her. "I'd do anything for you, Rachel." He heard someone come into the room and looked towards the door. "Baby, I've got to go."

"No," she said sadly.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "Sunday night?"

"I'll be here," she told him.

"Be careful tonight, Rach. Always be careful."

"I will."

"Are you still taking your self defense classes?" Since she'd been attacked, Rachel had decided that she would never be the victim again. Enrolling in self defense classes had helped her get through the attack more than the counselor her dads had talked her into seeing once.

"I am." She smiled. "I really like them."

"Good," he told her, looking over again as Rachel heard the door open.

"Hey Rachel!" Puck called out.

"Hey Noah!" she returned, smiling.

"Gotta go, man," Puck told Finn.

Finn sighed. "I know, I know." He looked into the webcam. "I love you."

"I love you too," she told him.

"Bye babe."

"Bye," she said. After the screen turned dark she got up and walked to her bed, falling into it. She had to get ready in a few minutes, but for right now she'd lie in her bed and do nothing but think about how wonderful her man is.


	20. Chapter 20

Rachel was nervous. She'd changed her outfit three different times before leaving the house, then turned around and went back into her apartment to change again. It seemed like a decade had passed since she'd seen Finn and she wasn't sure how to react when she finally got to see him again.

She'd sat down in one of the chairs at the airport but soon got up, too fidgety to stay that still. She'd talked to one of the older women waiting for the same flight, but they'd soon ran out of things to say. Rachel checked her phone, noting the time. If his plane was on time (and it was), he'd been here in less than five minutes.

Rachel put her phone up and looked down the corridor, hoping to catch sight of him. And then there he was, walking towards her with a smile on his face. Even in a crowd of people, he stood out. Her breath caught as she took in how handsome he looked in his Air Force blues. And his smile…it was here!

Rachel began running towards him without thinking about it; she just knew that she had to touch him. Finn dropped his bag when she reached him, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her up to him for a kiss. His lips were soft and warm against hers, reminding her of the first kiss they'd ever shared. She'd been so nervous, but the moment his lips had touched her, she'd known without a doubt that he was special. He had to be hers.

It felt like home. Everything about his arms being around her and his lips being on hers felt so right that Rachel didn't want him to ever put her down. He lifted his lips, kissing her cheeks and then her forehead, slowly lowering her back to the ground but not taking his arms from around her. "Rachel," he said, his eyes moving over her. "You're beautiful."

Rachel beamed at him. "You're looking pretty good yourself, Mr. Hudson."

Finn looked behind her and blushed a little. "There are people watching us," he whispered.

Rachel turned around and saw several people looking at them. She waved. "This is my fiancé!" she told them. "Isn't he perfect?"

The people watching smiled and nodded, turning around and walking away. Rachel looked back up to find Finn staring at her. "What?"

Finn grinned. "Do you tell people I'm your fiancé?"

"Of course I do," Rachel said. "Don't you tell people I'm yours?"

Finn shrugged. "Every time I talk about you I say something like "Rachel, the girl I'm going to marry,"" he said with a laugh.

"That counts," Rachel told him. She rubbed his arms. "I can't take my eyes off of you; I'm afraid you'll disappear again."

"I'm not going anywhere for a whole week," he promised her, kissing her nose.

Rachel sighed. "About this week," she said quietly, "we have a little problem."

Finn frowned. "What is it?"

"I have rehearsals for the play for hours every day."

"I knew you would," Finn told her.

"You're not mad?"

He shook his head. "Why would I be mad? I think it's great."

Rachel smiled at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said. He picked up his bag and took her hand, leading her towards the exit. "I figure that between your classes and your show, we may not get to spend much time together."

"I'm not going to any of my classes this week," she told him.

"What?" he asked, stopping to look at her. "Rach, you can't miss your classes because of me."

"No, it's okay," she assured him. "I've worked it out with all of my teachers and what work I couldn't finish ahead Blaine is going to bring me."

"You did that for me?"

"No, I did it for me," she said, smiling. "I need to spend as much time with you as I can. And, if you want…" she broke off, biting her lip.

"What?"

"You could come to rehearsals, if you want. I mean, you don't have to every time or anything, but you can come some."

"Is that allowed?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll be there," he told her, smiling.

Rachel grinned. "I can't wait to show you off!"

"You been talking about me?" he teased.

"Maybe a little," she said, blushing. "Well, not as much anymore."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Rachel frowned. "A couple of the girls told me that if I mentioned you again they'd tie me up and leave me in the closet overnight." Finn chuckled and she shot him a glare. "I think they're serious!"

"I'm sure they are," he said, thinking of how much Rachel had managed to change while staying so much the same.

They began walking again and Rachel moved her hand up his arm. A shock of desire shot through her as she felt his muscles tense under the clothes he wore. She closed her eyes for a second as the image of his naked chest planted itself firmly in her mind. She sighed with pleasure, then looked up at him, hoping he hadn't noticed. Noticing his clenched jaw, she knew that he felt it, too. Somehow that made her want him even more, though she wasn't sure how that was possible.

They made their way to the parking lot. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I even missed your little car," he told her. Rachel buying a Mini Cooper had seemed like an intentional slight to Finn at the time. Now he realized how much the little car suited her personality. And if he moved the seat all the way back, it wasn't that bad. The tinted windows had come in handy when they were making out at the drive in back home; no one could see them.

His eyes shot to her as soon as the thought crossed his mind. Rachel looked up at him, smiling a little. She knew exactly what he was thinking. He fought the urge to grab her and push her against the car, something that would cause unwanted attention. She popped the trunk and he put his bag in it, still watching her. She walked to the driver door, opening it and getting in. Finn opened his door and noticed that she'd already pushed the seat back for him. She always thought of everything.

Finn unbuttoned his jacket, taking it off and tossing it behind her seat. Her eyes followed his every move, watching his muscles strain against the shirt he was wearing. He got into the car and shut his door, turning to look at her. As soon as his door was closed, Rachel crawled on top of him. "Finn," she said, her mouth covering his as she undid the buttons of his shirt, "I need you."

Finn's hands moved up her legs, pushing her dress up as he went. Her skin was warm and smooth under his fingers and he kept moving them upward until they cupped her butt. Rachel gasped against his lips as his hands squeezed her, rubbing her against him. She finally got his shirt unbuttoned and pushed off only to discover an undershirt. She groaned. "Finn," she complained, pulling at the offending garment. Once it was off of him, her lips moved to his chest, her tongue licking over his flat nipples. Her hands roamed his body, desperate to touch every part of him she could. How did he get more beautiful every time she saw him?

Finn was thinking the same thing. Everything about Rachel seemed to be made just for him. His large hands almost completely circled her waist and he was shocked to note that she wasn't wearing a bra. She was trying to kill him, he decided, his thumbs rubbing the sensitive nubs. Rachel gasped, arching against him.

"Are you sure, Rach?" he asked her, pulling her face back and looking into her eyes. Rachel nodded and he pulled her dress up and away from her, burying his face between her breasts. "God, I've missed you." He placed kisses over her chest and shoulders, nipping at her neck. Rachel cried out softly, her nails digging into his skin.

"I can't wait," she told him, moving her hands down and unbuckling his pants. "Finn, please."

Finn nodded, pushing his pants down. He hit his knees against the dashboard and cursed, cocking an eyebrow at Rachel when she giggled. "You think that's funny?"

She leaned over, running her tongue over his lips. "Maybe."

Finn took her face between his hands and caught her lips with his, his tongue teasing hers. Not breaking away, Rachel rose, pushing her underwear aside and then slowly lowering herself onto him.

Finn's hands grabbed her hips as she slid down him, and he leaned his head back against the seat to watch her through slitted eyes. When she was fully seated on top of him, he pulled her body to his, wrapping his arms around her. Rachel's hips ground against his and she moaned against his neck. Finn closed his eyes, conscious only of the way she tightened around him with each movement.

What Rachel was feeling was too big for her body; she felt like she was going to burst apart at the seams at any moment. As she moved with him the fire burned hotter, flaming throughout her. Finn filled her completely, stretching her in a way that would have hurt if it didn't feel so amazing. His lips moved to the place where her neck and shoulder met and sucked gently at it, sending her over the edge. Crying out, she rode him wildly, milking him with her release. Finn fell with her, taking her hips and lifting then lowering her onto him again and again. "Rachel," he cried out, spilling his seed deep inside of her.

Rachel's lips crashed down on his as the last of the waves rolled through her, her fingers tugging at his hair.

"Damn," he said as she fell against him, spent. "Forget going to your apartment. Let's never leave this car."

"Okay," she said, smiling.

"Is this why you parked so far away from everyone?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'll never tell," she said, giggling.

Finn put his chin on her forehead and rubbed her back. "I've missed you," he told her.

Rachel nodded, closing her eyes. She had promised herself that she was going to just enjoy this time with Finn and not think about the fact that he was leaving again in a week. She was going to ignore the fact that he wasn't just going back to New Mexico, but an entire ocean away. She wasn't going to admit that the idea terrified her and she felt like they were standing at the edge of a large black hole that was going to swallow him at any moment, leaving her alone.

Her phone rang, startling them both. "It's Kurt," she said, groaning. She rose to search for the phone and the world instantly felt like a colder place for Finn. He reached for her hand, pulling her back to him. Rachel looked at him, confused.

"Kurt can wait," Finn told her as she rested her head against his shoulder again. "This can't."

Rachel smiled. "Okay," she said, content to listen to his heartbeat for a while longer.


	21. Chapter 21

After they'd found their clothes and gotten them back on (mostly), Rachel drove them to the nearest Whole Foods. She could have gone to the grocery before he got there, but there was something about the idea of grocery shopping together that soothed her. She's a chick, okay? She has these _feelings_ sometimes and she can't help it.

She could admit to herself that she wanted to keep him in his blues for a little longer, too. Finn had always been gorgeous, but this was an entirely different level of hot. She honestly had a hard time keeping her hands off of him and even contemplated dragging him into the bathroom for another quickie.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked her suspiciously after he'd noticed her blush. He dropped the bananas he was holding into their cart and looked at her.

"Nothing," she said, blushing again.

"Why is your face turning purple?"

"It's not!" she whispered loudly, bringing her hands to her face. "Well, maybe it is."

"You okay?"

"I could be better," she said.

"How?" he asked her, confused.

Rachel nodded towards the bathroom and Finn's gaze followed. He stared at the bathroom door for a minute, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Rachel watched as realization dawned and his eyes widened, his mouth falling open. "That's what you're thinking about?" he asked, looking down into her face.

Rachel shrugged. "Maybe."

Finn picked her up, carrying her towards the bathroom. "Finn!" Rachel cried, laughing, "Put me down!"

"Why?" he asked, pouting, sitting her back on the ground. "I thought we were going to the bathroom?"

Rachel leaned up and kissed him. "It was an option before you made every person in the store turn around and look at us," she whispered.

Finn looked around, noticing all of the eyes watching them. "Crap," he mumbled. "My bad." He looked back down at her. "All I thought about was wanting you."

"Well then, we should probably get this shopping done and get back to my apartment," she said. If he kept looking at her like that, though, she'd probably change her mind and let him have his way with her in the middle of the aisle.

"I'm done," he said, his eyes never leaving her face.

"All we have is bananas," Rachel reminded him.

"That's good enough."

Rachel smiled as she kissed him. "Mmm," she murmured, "you'd deprive your sweet girlfriend of food?"

"Yes," he told her, laughing when she blinked.

Rachel pulled away from him, giggling. They passed a small group of people their age, and Rachel scooted a little closer to Finn. Something seemed…off. Finn looked at her questioningly and she shook her head, shrugging.

Rachel had discovered while they were in school that Finn was surprisingly easy to shop with. He loved everything she cooked, and if he was left to his own devices he'd just make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Her one complaint was his love of all things sugar, but she always bought it for him anyway because he was such a sweetie about everything else. Not many men were willing to eat vegan meals just because that's what their girlfriends liked. Rachel appreciated it more than he knew.

Finn pushed their cart out the door and towards her car with Rachel riding on the front of it. "Murderer!" someone yelled from beside them.

Rachel jumped, startled. Finn stopped the cart and glared at the same group of people that had freaked Rachel out earlier. "What did you say?" Rachel asked them.

"You heard us!" one of the girls yelled. "He's a murderer!"

Rachel stepped off of the cart, sure she'd misunderstood something. She pointed to Finn. "This man, right here? You're calling him a murderer?"

The girl nodded as the rest of the group mumbled. "Do you know how many innocent Iraqi's are killed every day?" another girl shouted.

"Filthy killers, all of you!" a boy yelled.

Rage flowed through Rachel's body. "How dare you?" she yelled at the group. "You have no idea what kind of a person he is. You have no idea what he's sacrificing for his country!"

"Come on, Rach, it's not worth it," Finn told her quietly, pulling her arm. He'd had to deal with anti-war protesters in both Texas and New Mexico and he knew that it never ended well.

"Your kind kills without mercy!" a girl cried. "You should be put to death!"

Rachel was sure she had to be dreaming. This wasn't possible. People weren't this crazy. She rushed towards the girl who'd said Finn should be put to death, determined to choke an apology out of her. Finn's strong arms moved around her waist and he held her back. "Rachel, let's just go."

"You take that back, you crazy bitch!" Rachel was screaming. "You take it back!"

"Thank God for dead soldiers!" the girl yelled at Rachel, throwing a rock at Finn.

Rachel's entire body was hot and she heard a ringing in her ears. She was vaguely aware of the small crowd that had formed, but all she could see was the girl's face, twisted with hatred. Rachel wanted to claw her eyes out.

Finn ignored their words and the rock that bounced off of his chest, focused on getting Rachel to her car without anyone getting hurt. Some of the people who had come to see what was going on were now fighting with the group as well, but Finn didn't really pay attention to what was being said. Who knew Rachel would be so hard to control when she was angry?

The group was now chanting "Thank God for dead soldiers," and the crowd surrounding them was getting larger. Finn's arm around Rachel slipped and she lunged for the girl she'd been after, hitting her with surprising force. The boy standing beside them grabbed Rachel's hair, pulling her back.

Finn wasn't sure what happened after that; everything was a blur. When the man put his hands on Rachel, he went a little crazy. The crowd that had gathered soon got involved and what had been a shouting match turned into a brawl in the Whole Foods parking lot.

After the police showed up and pulled everyone apart Finn held Rachel, rocking her slightly on the curb of the sidewalk. She was sobbing into his chest and he stroked her hair, whispering comforting words in her ear. "Rachel, baby, are you okay?" he asked after the tears had subsided a bit.

"No," she said, looking up at him and wiping her eyes. "I'm so _angry_," she said forcefully. Her eyes blazed as she glared at the girl she'd been after. The girl was being read her rights; she'd actually attacked Finn and Rachel first by throwing the rock and was being charged for assault and inciting a riot.

Rachel just wanted to hit her again, and that was odd because Rachel wasn't a fan of violence; she hated the idea of people being hurt. Still, her fist longed to punch the other girl in the mouth, just one more time. "How could they say those things?" she asked Finn. "They know nothing about you. You're the sweetest guy in the world; you'd never hurt anyone."

Finn shrugged. "There are a lot of confused and angry people in the world, Rach," he told her.

"Has this happened before?" she asked him. Finn looked off, shrugging again. "It has, hasn't it? How come you've never mentioned it?"

"Because it's not important," he told her. "I'd rather hear about the good things going on in your life than dwell on something so insignificant."

"It's not insignificant!" Rachel cried. "No one should be treated like that, especially you."

Finn smiled crookedly. "I think you're a little biased."

"No," she told him, shaking her head. "I'm being serious, Finn. You shouldn't have to put up with things like that. That's why I'm here, that's what I'm for. If something like this happens, you talk to me about it." She put her hands on his face. "You tell me about it so I can remind you that you are the most wonderful, perfect man in the world, no matter what some idiot says."

"I love you," he told her, lightly brushing his lips across hers.

"I love you, too."

"Excuse me," a man said, walking towards them. "I don't mean to interrupt, truly. I just wanted to let you know that though I don't know you, son, I'm proud of the service you're doing for our country."

Finn nodded, his throat working. "Thank you, sir," he said.

The man nodded to Rachel. "You've sure got yourself a firecracker in this one," he told them.

"Tell me about it," Finn said, smiling at the girl.

The man smiled at them, then walked towards the parking lot. "That was nice," Rachel said, putting her head against his shoulder. "For every bad, there's a good, you know?"

"I know," Finn told her. They stood when the police officer came towards them to discuss once again what happened and to tell them they were free to leave. "For what it's worth," the officer said, "you boys in blue make me proud."

"Thank you, sir," Finn found himself saying again, shaking the cop's hand.

The cop shook his hand, then looked over at Rachel. "Former Airman myself," he told her. Then he winked. "Try to control yourself, okay?"

Rachel grinned. "I'll try."

"Keep this one in line," the officer said to Finn, then went back to the car.

Rachel and Finn walked to where they'd left their cart. "Oh no," Rachel said, frowning. "Most of our stuff is ruined."

"Here," a man said, pushing a cart full of groceries. "Everything you bought, fresh," he told them. "My name is Kent and I'm the manager of this Whole Foods store. We're terribly sorry for what happened."

"But it wasn't your fault," Finn protested.

"Regardless of whose fault it was, it happened here. At Whole Foods, our goal is to make sure all of our customers have a happy, satisfactory experience. Since that's fairly impossible now, we want to at least have you leave with what you came to get."

"Thank you so much," Rachel said. "That's very nice."

Kent nodded. "We hope that this experience doesn't deter you from shopping with us again."

Rachel shook her head. "No, not at all."

"Thank you both for shopping at Whole Foods, and thank you, sir, for your service to our country."

Finn shook the man's hand, then watched him walk back inside, pushing the cart of food he and Rachel had started out with. "Well that was nice."

"This is a good place to shop," Rachel told him. "The people are always really helpful and friendly."

They got to her car and they began unloading the cart. Finn watched her, wondering if she was really okay. "What?" she asked, after noticing his eyes on her.

"Are you okay? Really?"

Rachel sighed and propped her hip against the trunk. "I don't know. Are you?"

Finn shrugged. He hadn't really thought about it. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

He grinned. "Want to go to your place, hold each other and talk about our feelings?"

"You mock me, sir," Rachel said, not able to hide her smile.

Using his fingers, he tilted her chin up towards him. "Thank you for having my back," he told her. "You're amazing."

"You're welcome," she said, kissing him. "I'll always have your back."

Finn smiled and put the rest of the bags in the trunk. "When are Kurt and Blaine coming over?"

Rachel waited for him to put the cart away, then unlocked the car doors and got in. She looked over at him and grinned. "Tomorrow," she told him.

"Seriously?" he said.

Rachel nodded. "I told them that we needed tonight." She looked at him, a little worried. "Is that okay?"

Finn put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her to him. His lips played over hers, his teeth gently pulling at her bottom lip. "That's more than okay," he told her, huskily, his eyes full of promise.


	22. Chapter 22

Rachel slid the washcloth across his back, her fingers lightly running over the freckles she found there. She let the water run over his skin, then placed a kiss in the spot she'd just washed, smiling at his groan. "All clean," she told him.

Finn turned around, lowering his head to hers and capturing her lips with his. His hand slid between her legs, his fingers rubbing against her. Rachel cried out and Finn caught the sound with his mouth.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Rachel lifted her legs and put them around his body without moving her lips from his. Finn smiled, his hands moving to cup her butt and rub her against him. "Please," she whispered, looking into his eyes.

Finn parted her folds, sliding her body onto his. He groaned, pushing her back against the shower wall. Rachel moved her hips against his as he thrust into her, her hands splaying across his chest. Water poured over them as they moved together, the sound of it almost drowning out Rachel's moans.

Rachel used the shower wall to brace herself as she pushed herself onto him, giving him room to lower his mouth to her breasts. His large hands moved around her tiny waist, almost completely circling it. Rachel watched him as he sucked gently on her nipple, his new scruff brushing against her sensitive skin.

Her breathing became faster and faster, her legs shaking around him. She screamed out his name as she came, her walls squeezing around him. Finn lifted his head, watching her fall apart. He smiled as she closed her eyes and threw her head back, his mouth moving to her neck.

"You feel so good," he whispered into her ear, lightly biting the bottom of it. Rachel opened her eyes and looked at him, still breathing hard. He watched her as his hand traveled between them, again finding the extra sensitive nub with his finger and rubbing it.

"Finn," she moaned, licking her bottom lip.

"Yeah?" he asked huskily.

"Harder," she said.

Finn's eyes widened at her request and his hands moved back to her waist. Holding her steady, he pounded into her body. Rachel's hand moved down and she began to rub herself as he moved inside of her. The combination of his thrusts and her own touch quickly led her over the edge again and she leaned forward, pulling his head down for a kiss. Thrusting her tongue into his mouth as she rode out the waves of heat rolling through her body, she felt his body tighten against her.

Finn's entire body was on fire. His tongue pushed its way into her mouth as she melted against him, her release washing over him. He pushed further into her, burying himself as deeply as he could. Rachel cried out again as the aftershocks of her climax continued to rock her.

His own release hit him like a brick, sucking the air out of his body. He thrust into her a few more times, his entire body shaking with the power of it.

Rachel put her head against the shower wall, unable to move. She knew that her legs wouldn't hold her up; she didn't know if she'd ever be able to walk again. Finn's lips found hers and she kissed him back, her tongue lazily circling his.

"Don't let me go," she said, opening her eyes to look at him.

"I won't," he said, tightening his grip on her. "I've got you." When he slid out of her, Rachel whimpered. "Sorry, baby," he said, grabbing the washcloth and cleaning them.

He reached behind him and turned the water off, then carried her out of the shower. He grabbed their towels and walked to the bedroom, laying her down gently on the edge of the bed. Rachel watched as he stood up, water dripping from his body. Though she felt as if she couldn't even move, her body already ached for his again.

"When are Kurt and Blaine going to be here?" he asked her.

Rachel groaned. "Soon." She sighed. "I'd thought last night would have given us enough time, but I was wrong."

Finn nodded, watching her. Her skin looked darker than usual against the white sheets and he wanted nothing more than to catch the drops of water on her with his tongue. "How soon is soon?" he asked her. A knock on the front door answered his question. "Shit," he said, walking to her dresser and grabbing a pair of boxers off the top of it. He quickly pulled them on and looked around for some pants to slip on. Finding a pair of jogging pants, he pulled them on, then looked back at Rachel. "I'll go," he told her. "Take your time." He leaned over and kissed her, then smiled and kissed her again. "Love you."

Rachel nodded, watching him leave the room. She groaned when she noticed how well the soft jogging pants fell around his butt. He had a perfect everything, and she was a little put out that she had to share him…even with his brother, who just happened to be her best friend.

She rolled onto her side, bringing her legs up and looking towards the window. Things between her and Finn were even better now than they'd been before he'd left. She'd been afraid that something would have changed, or that they wouldn't want each other as much as they had. Something _had_ changed, but it was that they seemed to want each other even more now. She couldn't get enough of him, and she knew he felt the same way. It was almost scary.

She reluctantly got out of bed, going to her dresser to find something to wear. After she'd put on her underwear, she picked up one of his shirts. Deciding to wear it, she pulled it over her head, laughing a little when she realized that it almost fell to her knees. He was so much bigger than she was, so it was remarkable that they fit together as perfectly as they did. She slid some shorts on under the shirt, though they weren't visible.

Walking into the living room, she found the three men laughing. "What's funny?" she asked.

Finn looked up, his smile falling and his eyes narrowing as he noticed what she was wearing. She felt the heat of his gaze like an actual touch. "Blaine was telling Finn about my first audition," Kurt told her, oblivious to the sexual currents passing between her and his brother.

"Come over here and sit, Rach," Finn told her.

Rachel walked towards him, planning on sitting beside him. Finn caught her as she passed him and pulled her onto his lap. She caught his eye for a moment before he turned back to the other boys and at his look lust shot straight through her. He smiled at her sharp intake of breath, but didn't look away from Kurt.

Rachel looked at her friends, noticing for the first time that they were sitting on opposite ends of the couch. She frowned a little at the distance between them; they'd been having problems, but she hadn't thought they were serious. They still smiled at each other, but Rachel thought their smiles looked somewhat strained.

Finn told them about basic training and AIT and what he'd be doing in Japan. "So you're not going to be going to Iraq, right?" Kurt asked him.

Rachel looked at Finn, waiting for his answer. "I don't know yet," he told his brother, glancing at Rachel. "As of right now, no."

"But you'll go wherever they need you," Blaine said.

Finn nodded. "We will."

"Is Puck going to be with you?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, we're in the same flight."

"Well that will be some comfort," Kurt said. "I talked to dad today and he told me that he thought Sarah was back in the hospital."

"Oh no," Rachel said, frowning. "I'd thought she was doing better."

Blaine shrugged. "With Leukemia, I think it's a lot of back and forth."

"You should call him," Rachel said to Finn, who nodded.

"I will." He looked at the other men. "So what's going on with you two?"

Kurt shrugged. "School, auditions, dance classes…"

"Vocal lessons, work, friends," Blaine finished.

Finn cocked his eyebrow. "You're both really busy," he said. They nodded. "Is that why I'm sensing so much distance between you?"

"Finn," Rachel whispered, looking at him.

"I'm not going to be here for very long, and I'd really like to know what's going on while I am," he said.

Kurt looked at Blaine, who sighed. "Kurt and I are trying to figure out what we want," he said finally.

"It's not each other anymore?" Finn asked.

"No, it is," Kurt said. He looked at Blaine, who nodded. "I still love him, he still loves me."

"So what's the problem?"

"We're just finding ourselves pulled in different directions," Blaine said.

"Okay," Finn said. "What does that mean?"

"You and Rachel have always just known that you were going to be together no matter what," Kurt said. "With Blaine and I, we're having a little trouble figuring out if the same is true for us."

"Kurt's thinking about going back to Ohio," Blaine told them.

Rachel gasped. "What? Why? And why haven't you told me about it?"

Kurt looked at her. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I should have said something about it. I was afraid of disappointing you."

Rachel just stared at him. "Why would you want to go back there?" Finn asked, confused.

"Because he doesn't believe he'll make it here," Blaine said, answering for him. "And nothing I can say or do can convince him otherwise."

"You haven't even been here a year," Rachel said to her friend.

Kurt sighed. "I'm not right for any parts, Rachel. You know that."

"I don't know that," Rachel told him. "And you don't either."

"I can't believe you're thinking about giving up," Finn said. "After working so hard to get here, I can't believe it."

"That's what I told him," Blaine said, sitting up. "And I told him that I didn't know if we'd be able to stay together if he went back to Ohio."

"Apparently our love would just disappear," Kurt said bitterly.

"That's not what I said," Blaine said, then cut himself off and shook his head. He looked at Finn. "I can't win. The plan was for us to make our life together here. That's what I've been working towards. I have good friends, school, and prospects. I'm trying to make a place for me here, which is what we're both supposed to be doing."

"Kurt, you belong here just as much as we do," Rachel told him. "After this year, you'll live here, with us."

"Can we just talk about this some other time?" Kurt said. "I would just like to enjoy seeing my brother for a while."

Finn nodded, but he really didn't want to let it go. They sat and talked for another hour, catching up and making plans to go out for dinner. "I need to grab a couple of things," Blaine said, walking towards his room.

Rachel looked at Finn. "I'll go help him," she said.

Finn nodded, watching her walk off. Kurt laughed and Finn turned to look at him. "What?"

"You're worse off now than you were in school," Kurt told him.

Finn grinned. "Yeah."

"I'm happy for you two. I've always known that if anyone was going to make it, it would be you."

"I'm glad you believe in us," Finn told him, leaning against the wall. "I don't understand why you do not believe in yourself."

Kurt sighed. "Do you have any idea how many auditions I've gone to?" he asked his brother. Finn shook his head. "A lot. I've never even gotten a call back."

"So you keep trying," Finn told him. "Or you find something else you want to do."

Kurt shook his head. "It's not that easy," he said sadly. "I just…I've just lost a lot of faith in myself."

"Blaine hasn't lost faith in you."

"No, but he wouldn't. That's not his way."

"Listen to me," Finn told him, waiting until his brother was looking at him before talking. "You're good. I've seen you, remember? Maybe the next part you try out for will be the one you get. You'll never know if you don't do it."

Kurt nodded. "You're right. And I'm trying, Finn, I really am. I just get so down…you know how I can be."

"Yeah," Finn said. "Listen, just because I'm not here doesn't mean that I don't care. You can call me or write me any time and we can talk about things like this. That's what brothers do."

Blaine and Rachel came out of his room. Blaine walked up to Kurt, kissing him on the cheek. "We'll see you guys around 6," he said.

They said their good byes and Finn shut the door behind them, turning around to look at Rachel. "I had no idea Kurt was feeling that way," she said sadly. "I guess I've been too caught up in my own stuff."

"Kurt's your best friend," he told her. "He should have said something."

Rachel nodded, sighing. "I know."

Finn looked at her. "I know that we need to have a conversation about Kurt," he said lowly, "but all I can think about right now is how you look in my shirt."

Rachel grinned slowly. "You like it?"

"You wearing any shorts?"

"Of course I am," she said indignantly. "What kind of girl-"

"Take them off," he said, interrupting her.

Rachel reached under the shirt, slowly pulling the little shorts down her legs, her panties with them. Finn walked towards her, backing her towards the kitchen. "What are you doing?" she asked him.

Finn didn't say anything, just kept moving her backwards. When they reached the kitchen table, he lifted her, sitting her on the edge of it. Pushing her back on the table, he opened her legs wide, pulling her to the edge. He put her legs on his shoulders and looked at her, running his finger through her wet slit. Rachel moaned, dropping her head down on the table.

Finn's lips kissed the inside of her thighs, trailing upward. His tongue licked her center and she gasped, jumping. She was already wet, but he wanted her juices to run over him. His tongue circling her, Finn watched her face as his finger slid inside her. Rachel's hands tangled in his hair as she writhed under him.

Finn slid another finger into her as his tongue moved, his lips closing around the little nub as he sucked on it lightly. Finn felt her body tense, then shudder with release. She screamed, tightening around his fingers. He throbbed, wanting nothing more than to be inside of her. Rachel sat up, pulling his shirt off of her. Finn pulled her close, his lips trailing down her neck and over her breasts. She broke away from him, pushing him back.

Rachel slid off of the table, kissing his chest. Her lips moved down his stomach, stopping every now and then to lick his skin. When she moved lower, she pulled his clothes down, freeing him. She looked up at him as she licked the tip of him, then took him into her mouth. Finn's hips shot forward and his eyes closed, his hands tangling in her hair. She slid her lips down his length, stopping when he hit the back of her throat and moving them back up. She sucked slightly at the head, then took his length back into her mouth.

Finn looked down at her, watching her pink lips slide up and down his shaft. His hips moved, pushing into her. Instead of being angry, Rachel smiled, taking even more of him into her mouth. Finn groaned, every fiber of his being concentrating on how amazing her mouth felt on him.

When Rachel's tongue swirled around his tip, Finn grabbed her up, turning her around and bending her over the table. Rachel gasped as he rammed into her, his hand reaching around and finding her clit. In this position everything felt different; his thrusts touching her in a completely different way. Harsh sobs escaped from her mouth as pleasure rocked her body. She pushed back into him, desperately seeking release.

Finn pounded into her, sure he was going to explode at any moment. Her body constricted around him as he moved, and he forgot to breath. When she came, her body squeezed him tighter and he felt like he was exploding. He let out his breath in one long cry, pumping into her a few more times.

He stepped back, and picked her up. Trying to catch her breath, Rachel looked up at him. "What are you doing?"

"I've got to lie down or I'm going to fall down," he told her, walking into her room. "And I don't want to lie down unless you're lying beside me."

He put her on the bed and laid down beside her, pulling her close and covering them both up with the sheet. His breath was still ragged, and she could hear his heart pounding. "You realize that we probably won't be just "lying" for very long," she said, smiling against his chest

"I'm counting on it," Finn said, smiling at the ceiling.


	23. Chapter 23

Rachel finished getting ready while Finn called Puck. "Hey man," he said, hearing his friend's voice. "What's up?"

"Just relaxing," Puck told him. "Got my girls with me. Beth has grown so much, dude. You wouldn't believe it."

"How's Sarah?"

Puck didn't speak for a moment, and Finn heard him moving around. "Not so good," he finally said, letting out a deep breath. "Test results came back, things are worse."

"I'm sorry," Finn said, closing his eyes. "I'd hoped she was doing better."

"Yeah, well, she was for a while. Now she's not."

"You okay?"

"Probably not," Puck said lowly.

"You need me?"

"Nah, man, you need to stay with your girl. How is my Jewish American Princess?"

"She's amazing," Finn said honestly.

"I bet she is," Puck said, chuckling. "I'm surprised you took the time to call me."

"Whatever, man," Finn said, grinning. "I was worried about you."

"It is what it is," Puck said. "I'm dealing with it."

"If you need me, just let me know and I'll be there. If you need to come up here, you're always welcome."

"Thanks," Puck said, choking on the words a little.

They said their goodbyes and Finn turned to find Rachel standing in the doorway. "Hey baby," he said, smiling at her. She looked gorgeous, and once again he realized how lucky he was.

Rachel walked to him, leaning up to kiss him. "How's Noah?"

Finn sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "I don't know," he told her. "Sarah is sick again."

Rachel put her head on his chest. "Oh no," she said. "That's terrible."

Finn nodded. "We need to go," he reminded her. "We're supposed to meet Kurt and Blaine in a few minutes."

"Okay," she said. "And after dinner, there are a few places I want to show you."

Finn took her hand. "Sounds good."

They took a cab to the restaurant Rachel was always telling him about in her letters. If he was going to be jealous of anything, it would be of the food this place served; it seemed like the one thing she might love more than him.

Kurt and Blaine were waiting for them, holding hands. Finn winked at Kurt while Rachel hugged the two men. "Is this place as good as Rachel's always saying it is?"

"Better," Kurt told him. "Of course, Rachel is the only one of us who gets to order off menu."

Finn looked down at her. "Why's that?"

"The man who makes the food is sweet on her," Kurt told him. Blaine looked at him sharply and Kurt shrugged.

"Oh really?" Finn said, raising his eyebrow at his girlfriend.

Rachel laughed, waving her hand. "They're being silly. He just appreciates my good taste."

They moved into the restaurant and were seated. "This place is really nice," Finn said, looking around. "Busy, too."

"This is _the _place to be," Kurt told him, looking at the menu.

"It's hard to get a table; most people have to make reservations weeks in advance," Blaine told him.

Finn looked at Rachel. "But you come here all the time."

Rachel nodded. "While he's _not_ sweet on me," Rachel told him, sending Kurt a look, "the chef that makes the food is a friend of mine. He always gets us in."

"Yeah, besides making the food, he owns the place," Blaine said, frowning at the menu. "I always say I'm going to try something different, but then I always get the same thing." He looked at Kurt. "What are you getting?"

Kurt chuckled. "Same thing I always get."

"Crap," Blaine said, looking back at the menu. "I guess I will too."

"Why don't you both get what you always get and swap?" Finn offered. "That way you can try something new but if you don't like it you can just swap back."

Kurt and Blaine looked up at him, surprised. "That's the smartest thing you've ever said," Kurt told his brother.

"How come you never thought of that?" Blaine asked Rachel.

"Sorry!" she said, laughing.

"Miss Berry, so good to see you," a young man said, coming to their table. "Mister Hummel, Mister Anderson."

"Hey Mark," Kurt told him. "This is my brother Finn," he said, motioning towards the taller boy.

"_The_ Finn," Blaine said. "The one that Rachel really isn't making up."

"It's nice to finally meet you, _the _Finn," the man they called Mark said. "I am Mark, and I'll be your waiter."

"Nice to meet you," Finn said, smiling at the man. "I've heard a lot about this place."

After taking their orders, Mark left. "I have some news," Kurt told Rachel and Finn after. He looked at Blaine. "After we talked to you two, Blaine and I went back to my room and seriously discussed our futures."

"We'd been talking around the situation for weeks now, but we hadn't really just sat down and talked about what we were doing or where we were going," Blaine said.

"I know that performing is one of my favorite things," Kurt said. "But I also realize that it may be something that just doesn't work out for me. I do need to start looking at other options, but running back to Ohio shouldn't be the first one I consider."

"I'm glad that point was finally acknowledged," Blaine said, sighing.

Kurt rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, but took his hand. "I love Blaine and I don't want to live without him. So we discussed some other things I'm good at, some things I could fall back on if I never make it to Broadway. Or even Off Broadway."

"What did you decide?" Finn asked, putting his arm around Rachel as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"There are many things I'm good at, but my eye for interior design is excellent. I'm going to study fashion design."

"Kurt, that sounds wonderful," Rachel said. "I'm so glad you've decided to stay."

"Ah, the devastatingly beautiful Rachel Berry," a man said, coming to the table.

"Terry!" Rachel said, smiling at him. "Finn, this is Terry. He's the owner of the restaurant. Terry, this is Finn."

No "This is Finn, my fiancé." No "This is Finn, the man of my dreams." No, Rachel introduced him as "Finn." Just Finn. Finn didn't like it.

"Nice to meet you, Finn," Terry said, holding his hand out for Finn to shake. "I've heard a lot about you."

"That's funny," Finn said, smiling at the other man. "I've never heard of you."

"Finn," Rachel said, frowning at him.

"We're trying something different tonight," Blaine told Terry, cutting into the awkward conversation.

While they discussed their meal plans, Finn studied the man in front of him. When they'd said that the man who was "sweet" on Rachel owned the restaurant, Finn had assumed that meant the man was older. He'd been wrong. Terry didn't look much older than them, and though he totally wasn't into guys, he knew that Terry would be considered good looking. In a rich, work out in a gym all day sort of way. Finn hated his guts.

"And you, Rach?" Terry was saying. Finn's fists clenched at the use of her nickname. "Are you having your usual?"

"Of course," Rachel told him, smiling.

"We do our best here to make sure our Rachel is eating properly," Terry told Finn. "She doesn't take the best care of herself at times."

Finn looked at Rachel. "What?"

Rachel smiled, putting her hand on Finn's arm. "He's just joking," she told him.

He hadn't been joking, Finn thought. He was letting Finn know that he was around to take care of her while Finn wasn't. "I'm glad someone's watching over her," Finn told the man politely, though he was seething in anger.

"Yes, well, Rachel is a favorite around here. I've joked at times that she may as well move in."

"Wouldn't that be convenient?" Finn said, looking at her.

Rachel frowned at Finn. "I guess I need to get back to preparing your food," Terry told the table. "Please, enjoy your evening."

Kurt and Blaine nodded and Rachel smiled at the man. Once he was out of earshot she glared at Finn. "What was that?"

"I don't know, _Rach_, maybe you can tell me?"

"Oh dear," Kurt said.

"You were being completely rude to a man you've never even met!" Rachel said angrily. "A man who you've heard is a good friend of ours."

"A man who I've heard is "sweet" on you," Finn corrected. "A man that I didn't even know existed until we walked into _his _restaurant." Finn pulled his arm away from her. "Was this really what you thought would be a good idea? Bring me into the place of a man who wants to sleep with you to rub it in my face?"

Rachel stared at him, wide eyed. "You have no idea what you're talking about," she finally told him. "And you're being rude."

"You know what I think?" he said, leaning closer to her. "I think that I've had enough for tonight. Give my regards to Terry, okay? I'm sure he'll be delighted to know that I've left." With that he got up and left the table, walking towards the door.

Rachel watched him leave, her mouth hanging open in shock. "I called it," Kurt said to Blaine.

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked him, turning to look at him.

"Rachel, honestly, are you that clueless?" Kurt said. He looked at Blaine. "What did I say before we got here?"

"You said that this was a mistake because Finn would meet Terry and get upset," Blaine said, sighing.

"But why?" Rachel asked, honestly confused.

Kurt opened his mouth but closed it. He loved Rachel, he really did; but sometimes she was so infuriatingly naïve it hurt his head. He looked at Blaine and nodded. "It's obvious that Terry wants you," Blaine said as gently as he could. "It has always been obvious. For you to bring your boyfriend to the restaurant of a man who flirts shamelessly with you and has made no secret he's infatuated with you…"

"It's in bad taste. And pisses me off a little, honestly," Kurt said. "We almost didn't come. I was afraid it would end badly."

Rachel sat back in her seat. "But I…I didn't…" She took a breath. "You guys come here with me all of the time."

Blaine grimaced. "Kurt comes for me," Blaine told her. "He knows I love the food here."

"You're my best friend, Rachel," Kurt said. "But I don't enjoy seeing you let other men flirt with you while you're dating my brother."

Rachel gasped as if she'd been slapped. Blaine leaned across the table, taking her hand. "He…_we_ didn't say anything because we realized that you don't even know you're doing it."

Kurt shrugged. "We know that you're in love with Finn," he said. "And we know that you've never really been around men much and how lonely you are."

"We should have said something," Blaine said. "Actually, I tried once…"

"When you asked me why I spent so much time here," Rachel said flatly. "You were hinting that there might be something going on." She looked at them. "You're my best friends. Why wouldn't you say something?"

"You're a grown woman now," Kurt told her. "Do you really need someone to follow behind you to point out your own behavior to you?"

"Terry knows all about Finn," she said. "I talk about him all of the time."

"Finn's never here," Blaine told her softly. "For a man, that's as good as him not existing."

Rachel shook her head, hot tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "I truly never meant to lead Terry on or let him think I was open to a relationship," she said, opening her eyes and looking at them. "I thought that friendship was what he wanted…and that's something that I needed too."

"I should have said something," Kurt admitted. "It bothered me and I knew it would bother Finn. I just couldn't believe you didn't see it."

Rachel wiped a tear from her face, shaking her head. "I didn't," she whispered. She stood up. "I have to go find him, apologize."

"We'll take care of things here," Blaine assured her. "We'll drop your food off at the apartment."

Rachel nodded, walking away from the table. "Rachel," Terry called from across the room. She stopped and waited for him. "Rachel, what's wrong?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry, Terry," she told him. "It seems that I'm a little more naïve that I'd thought; I was under the impression that all you wanted from me was friendship."

"I do want to be your friend," Terry told her, reaching for her hand. "What's this about?"

Rachel looked up at him. "Are you saying that you don't want a relationship from me?"

Terry looked around, then pulled her towards the door. "You're a beautiful and talented woman," he told her. "I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't hoped we could one day be together."

"But I told you about Finn," Rachel said. "I told you how much I loved him, how much he meant to me."

"But he's not here," Terry said, unknowingly repeating Blaine's words. "Finn's not here, but I am." He lowered his head slowly, intent on kissing her.

Rachel pulled away from him and took a step back. "No matter where he is, or who I'm with, my heart belongs to him," she said. "I'm sorry you can't respect that. Goodbye, Terry."

"Rachel, wait," Terry said as she ran from the restaurant.

Rachel told the cab driver to take her back to her apartment and she prayed that she wasn't too late. Hurriedly paying the man, she jumped out of the cab and ran up the steps to her apartment. Reaching it, she quickly unlocked it and found it empty. Standing in the doorway of her darkened apartment, she realized that Finn wouldn't have had a key to get in.

She slowly shut the door and walked back down the hallway, wondering where he could be. He didn't know much about New York City, and he'd only been here once before. Rachel sent him a text, but received no reply. Frustrated, she hailed another taxi and told the driver to take her to the only place she could think of he might be.

Getting out of the cab, she walked slowly to the bridge she'd met him at when they were in high school. In the dark and alone, she was much less excited about being here; if Finn wasn't here, she hoped she could find a cab quickly. She reached into her little purse, grabbing the can of mace she kept for such situations.

As she reached the bridge, she noticed a lone figure standing in the middle of it. Even with only the light of the moon, she knew it was him. "Finn," she called softly.

Finn straightened, looking back at her. "What are you doing here?" he asked her.

"Looking for you," she told him.

"Shouldn't you still be at Terry's?" he asked her bitterly, turning back to the bridge and resting his arms on the side of it.

Rachel shook her head, reaching him. "I'm sorry," she told him.

Finn looked down at her, then out at the water. "How many Terry's are there?"

"There was only one Terry, and now there's none," she told him.

"Yeah?" he said, looking at her again. "Why?"

"I didn't know," she told him softly. "You have to believe that I had no idea what was going on."

"How can I believe that?" he asked her.

"Because I'm asking you to," she said quietly.

Her eyes were shining in the moonlight, and Finn recognized the truth in them. "I don't like feeling like this, Rachel," he said, turning to face her. "I don't like knowing that you're letting other guys get so close to you."

Rachel nodded, her eyes shimmering with tears. "I was just looking for a friend, and I thought that I'd found one," she told him. "I didn't realize he wanted more."

Finn cupped her face in his hands, lowering his lips to kiss her. "You should know," he told her softly, his lips brushing hers again, "that any man who gets to know you will want more. You're perfect."

Rachel's breath caught on a half sob and she fell into his arms. "I feel like such an idiot," she told him. "This isn't how I meant for this night to turn out."

Finn rubbed her back, looking up at the stars. "The night's not over yet," he told her. "Wasn't there some places you wanted to show me?"

Rachel nodded, looking up at him. "Do you still want to go?"

"I want to be with you," he told her. "Wherever you are."

Rachel smiled at him, her chin still quivering. "Thank you."

Finn shook his head, his hand once again cupping her face. "I'm sorry, Rachel, for not trusting you."

"I'm sorry I put you in a situation where you'd have reason to doubt me," she replied, squeezing his wrist.

"From now on, we'll talk about it. I won't just storm out." He winked at her. "I'll leave the storm outs to the master."

"As you should," she said, smiling up at him. "As you should."


	24. Chapter 24

"So you're Finn, huh?" a woman said, sitting down beside him.

Finn looked over at the woman, smiling. "Yeah, I'm Finn."

"She was right, you are a gorgeous fella," the woman told him, winking. She was around his mother's age, but there was something glamorous about her that set her apart from other women.

"Are you an actress?" he asked her.

"I used to be. I'm Maria," she told him. "I'm married to the director."

"How come you don't act anymore?"

The woman shrugged. "Once a woman gets to a certain age, it's hard to find good roles."

"I'm sorry."

She smiled. "It is what it is," she told him. She looked up at the stage. "Your little Rachel sure is something."

Finn nodded, his eyes turning to his girlfriend. "She's amazing," he told the woman.

"Boy, you've got it just as bad as she does," Maria said, chuckling. "She talks about you all the time. Her boyfriend, the hero."

"I'm not a hero," Finn told her.

"You're Rachel's hero," the woman said. "That girl could have a life on Broadway, you know. She's definitely got the talent." Finn nodded. "She won't, though."

Finn frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"She has more important things in her life than the business," Maria said simply. "She'll do it for a while because she loves it, but then she'll leave it and never look back. That's the best way, actually."

Finn shook his head. "Rachel has always dreamed of being on Broadway," Finn told her. "She'd never quit."

Maria studied him. "What are her dreams for after Broadway?" she asked him.

Finn looked back up at Rachel. "I don't know," he said, thinking about it. "I guess I just sort of thought that she'd always be here."

"Rachel's dreams are bigger than Broadway now," Maria told him, standing up. "I can see it in her face every time she talks about you."

Finn looked up at her. "You think she'd give up her dream because of me?"

"No," the woman said. "I think that her dreams have changed. You should ask her about it."

Finn watched the woman leave. "Nice to meet you," he called after her.

"You too, Rachel's Finn."

Finn didn't move until rehearsal was over, then went to find Rachel. "You were amazing," he told her, kissing her lightly.

"Thank you," she said, smiling. "Everyone, this is Finn." There were some groans. "No, really, look! He's here!"

Finn met with her new friends, putting faces to names. He looked up to find her sitting on a table, watching him with a smile. He nodded towards the door and she hopped off the table. "I think it's time for us to go," she said, getting her things. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Finn waited by the door as she said goodbye to a couple of people, taking her hand when she finally got to him. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked her.

"That sounds good," she told him.

The air was cold, and Rachel figured that it would snow sometime overnight. She looked up at Finn. "Maybe you can get snowed in here and you won't have to leave."

Finn chuckled. "I don't think that's going to happen," he told her.

She sighed. "Yeah, I know. Just wishful thinking."

Finn leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Are you cold?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Want to stop here for something warm to drink?" he asked, pointing to a little coffee shop on the other side of the street.

Rachel nodded and they crossed the street, walking into the business. "It smells wonderful in here," she said, taking off her scarf.

"Go find us a seat and I'll get our drinks," he told her.

Rachel sat by the window and waited, looking out at the sky. She couldn't really see any stars, but she knew they were there. "Here," Finn told her, handing her the drink he'd gotten her. He sat down beside her, pulling off his gloves.

"Hot chocolate," Rachel said, smiling at him.

"I miss our hot chocolate nights," he told her.

"I do too," she told him. When they were in school, she'd always made him hot chocolate whenever the weather grew colder.

They both looked out the window at the busy street beside them. "You really love it here, don't you?" he asked her.

Rachel nodded. "I really do. I miss the stars sometimes, though."

Finn looked up at the sky and nodded. "Yeah, I would too." He looked back at her. "Rach, what are your plans?"

Rachel laughed, startled. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I was just thinking that I don't know how long you want to perform…or what you want to do after that, if anything."

Rachel took a sip of her hot chocolate. "Did you meet a woman named Maria tonight?" she asked him.

"Maybe," Finn said, smiling crookedly. "Why?"

Rachel nodded, sitting her cup down. "Maria has decided that she's going to be my set mother," she said. "She's a wonderful woman."

Finn nodded. "She seems nice."

"Oh, she is. She found me crying in the bathroom one day after a particularly brutal rehearsal. We've been close ever since."

Finn took her hand, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. "Why were you crying?"

Rachel shrugged slightly. "Being a star- even a small one- is turning out to be a little more difficult than I thought it would be. Not that I'm complaining," she added hurriedly. "It's just difficult at times to work with so many people and have so much responsibility."

"But it's what you love to do…right?"

"I do love it. And when the lights go down and I'm standing in front of an audience, I know it will be amazing."

"I'm proud of you," Finn told her, leaning over to kiss her hand.

"I know," she said, smiling at him. "I'm proud of you, too."

"You still didn't answer my questions," he reminded her.

"Mmm," Rachel said. "Maria doesn't have any children, did she tell you that?" Finn shook his head. "She was always so focused on the life, I guess. She moved from show to show, role to role. She said that there were times she forgot who she was completely."

"I wouldn't let you do that," Finn promised her.

"I know," she told him. "You keep me grounded. But this life…it just takes so much out of a person." She looked at him. "Don't think I'm crazy, okay?" Finn grinned at her and cocked his eyebrow. "Crazier than you already think I am," she said, rolling her eyes. "I don't think I want to do this forever. For a while, yeah. But not forever."

Finn looked into her eyes. "But this is your dream, babe."

Rachel shrugged. "Dreams change," she told him.

He leaned closer to her. "What has your dream changed to?"

Rachel shook her head, blushing. "Nothing. It's silly."

Finn brushed her lips with his. "Tell me."

She sighed, looking at him. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise."

"I want a family," she said softly, shrugging slightly. "I want to have you and kids and a normal life."

Finn's eyes searched hers for a moment. "Rach," he said softly, "I don't want you to give up your dream for me. You don't have to."

She shook her head. "I know that," she told him. "And I'm still planning on working on Broadway for a while, if they'll have me. But I don't want this life forever." Her gaze met his. "It's something I can't believe I'm saying and it's something that I never imagined in a million years, but I've realized that I'm special without being in the spotlight." She smiled at him. "I don't have to be loved by thousands to feel good about myself. I finally love Rachel Berry, despite her faults and flaws."

Finn leaned down to kiss her tenderly, then put his forehead against hers. "I've always known you were special," he told her.

Rachel nodded, kissing him lightly. "You helped me figure it out," she told him.

"If not Broadway, what do you want to do?" he asked her.

"I'm not sure," she told him.

"Whatever it is, I'll be there," he told her. "We'll do it together."

Rachel put her head on his shoulder, looking up at the night sky. She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a star, shining over the lights of the city.


	25. Chapter 25

And then he was gone. Rachel had taken him to the airport, held him as long as she possibly could, and then let him go. She wanted to go with him…she wanted him to stay. She didn't care which of them moved, she just wanted them to be together. But life goes on, even when your heart's broken.

The first week was awful. The time difference was hard to get used to, and Finn was having a hard time settling in; Japan was so very different from everything he'd ever known. He was trying to learn the language, but it wasn't coming easily. Rachel studied it in her apartment; she would be visiting him at some point, and she wanted to know as much of it as she could. He assured her that the majority of people in Japan knew English- "Probably better than I do," he'd joked- but she still wanted to learn.

Not having him around after having him for a week was a shock to her system. When she woke up and he wasn't there, she'd cry. When she came home from rehearsals and he wasn't there, she'd cry. When she went to the grocery and he wasn't there, she'd cry. Everything made her miss him.

She was terrified that at any moment she was going to get a call telling her that he was going to Iraq or Afghanistan. She knew it was going to happen; she just didn't know when. She'd talked to Kurt and Blaine about it and they'd promised her that everything would be okay…but that didn't help. She'd called Carol one night, sobbing. Though she was ashamed of herself for bringing Finn's mother into her own worries, she felt much better after she'd gotten off of the phone with the woman. She wasn't alone in her freak outs; Carol was doing the same.

She went to school, she went to rehearsal, and she came home. She did it all over again the next day. She was breathing, but you couldn't say she was living. "It's not normal," Kurt told her a month after Finn had left. "You're not acting normally. And frankly, Rach, I'm a little worried."

"What are you talking about?" she'd asked him crossly.

"All of this moping and crying…this is the worst it's ever been. And it was bad before."

Rachel glared at him. "So go home," she told him. Kurt frowned at her and she sighed. "I'm sorry."

"He's still got a long time to be gone," Kurt told her. "You're going to have to get used to it."

"I don't want to get used to it," Rachel said, sitting on the couch and pulling her legs up and under her.

"He's out doing what he has to do and you're here doing the same. You know that you'll be together again soon."

Rachel shook her head, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "No I don't. I mean, yeah, I'm planning on going there for a while this summer, but I can't if he's in Iraq or Afghanistan."

"Did you get it worked out with your director to go at all?"

"I'm going," Rachel said stubbornly.

"Rachel," Kurt sighed. "This is your shot. This is Broadway. You can't just leave when you want to."

Rachel looked at Kurt. "But I miss him," she said.

"So go see him," Kurt told her. "But you can't go for weeks at a time. It's just not possible."

"I know," she said miserably, lying over on the couch. "I know it's not."

"You're losing weight, you're crying all the time, you won't go out with any of your friends…you have to stop this." He looked at her to make sure he had her attention. "Stop it or I'm telling Finn."

Rachel glared at him. "How old are you, five?"

"I'm serious," Kurt told her. "Blaine and I have been talking about it and we can't stand to see you go on this way."

"I know it's not normal, okay? I know that people think I'm a freak. But I can't stop it from hurting. The pain of him being gone…it just never goes away."

"He's not dead, Rachel," Kurt said bluntly and she blinked at him. "He's still with you; you get to talk to him every day, which is more than a lot of people can say about those they love."

Neither spoke for a moment. "I know he's not dead," Rachel finally said. "I know I still get to talk to him. I know how lucky I am that I have him." She looked at him. "But I miss him. I feel like part of me is gone. And believe me, I'm trying. The fact that I even get out of bed in the morning proves that I am. All I want to do is lie around and cry. But I don't. I go to school, I rehearse, I do my homework and practice. I know that you can't understand the way I'm acting, but I'm not asking you to." Kurt started to say something and she held her hand up to stop him. "I appreciate you being worried for me, but I don't need you judging me. I don't need your lectures. I'm doing the best I can right now and that's all I can do."

"Rach," Kurt said.

"I'm trying, Kurt. I'm trying." She got up slowly and walked to her room, shutting the door softly behind her. She heard him say, "We just care about you" but didn't go back in the living room. She went to her bed and fell on it, absolutely exhausted. She knew what he'd said was true; she wasn't taking care of herself. She had to shake this depression or it was going to ruin her.

She picked up her phone and dialed Finn's number, her finger pausing over the send button. Did she really want to talk to him right now? While she was so upset? Probably not. She started to put the phone down and it began ringing. Startled, she looked at it. It was Finn. "Hey," she said, answering it.

"Hey," he said, groggily running his hand over his face.

"Are you up?" she asked, looking at her clock. It was 2 am his time.

"I guess," he said. He looked around his dark room. "I was asleep but something woke me up." He yawned. "I wanted to hear your voice."

Rachel nodded, though he couldn't see it. "I wanted to hear your voice too," she said, her voice strained.

Finn heard it. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I miss you," she said, her voice thick with tears.

Finn didn't say anything for a moment. "Rach, don't cry," he said. "Please?"

"I won't, I'm not," she said, tears running down her face. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine," he told her. He sat up on the edge of his bed and looked out the window. "I miss you, too," he said quietly. "Every minute."

"I want to come see you," she said. "I want to come see you and I can't."

"I know," he said, running his hands through his hair. "I want you to, too. But I know that you can't right now." A small sob escaped from her lips and she covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry, Rach," he told her, his own voice thick. "I'm so sorry I did this to us."

"No, you did what you had to," she said. "I'm just going to have to be strong. I can do that." She didn't know if she could do that or not.

"You're the strongest person I know," he told her.

"They've…they've not said anything about Iraq or anything have they?"

"No, no one's said anything about it," he assured her. "I don't know that I'll ever have to go."

"I don't want you to," she whispered.

"I know." He sighed. "I wish I was there," he told her. "I wish I was holding you."

"Me too," she said.

"Any ideas of when you may be able to come see me?"

"School is out May 24th," she told him. "But I won't have a break from the show until early June."

"That's not that far away," he said.

"It seems like forever."

Finn laughed a little. "You're right; it does."

"How's Noah?"

"Sarah's worse," he told her. "Puck's taking it pretty hard. He stays in with me, doesn't even complain."

"I hate that," she said sadly. She thought about what he'd said. Staying in? "Why are you staying in? Aren't there a lot of things to do there?"

"Yeah."

"So?"

He sighed again. "I just haven't felt like doing them."

"Are you okay?"

"Are _you _okay?"

"No," she admitted.

"I'm not either," he said.

"Finn," she said, crying again, "we have to do better."

"I know," he told her. "I'm trying."

"I'm trying too. It's harder than I thought it would be."

"Puck keeps threatening to call you and tell you how big of a baby I'm being."

Rachel laughed through her tears. "Kurt just did the same thing."

"We're a mess," he told her, smiling.

"I know."

"But I love you."

"And I love you."

"We're going to have to straighten up, Rach. We can't act like this."

"Yeah," she said, lying back on her bed. "I was just thinking that. But it's hard to breathe when you're not here."

"What are we going to do?"

She sighed. "I don't know."

"I guess we're just going to have to tough it out," he said. "Knowing that you miss me as much as I miss you helps."

"It does," she agreed, smiling a little. "I don't want you to miss out on your life because you're missing me."

"I don't want you missing out on yours because you're missing me. So…for me, Rach, will you be strong?"

"I think I can," she said softly. "Will you do the same for me?"

"I'll try," he said, picking up her picture and looking at it. "I'll still miss you every day, but I'll stop acting like you'll be gone forever. Promise."

"I'll just keep remembering that I still have you," she said, picking up his picture and looking at it. "I'll do better. Promise."

"I've got to go back to sleep babe," he told her, setting her picture down.

"Okay. I love you, Finn."

"I love you, too," he told her. "Forever."

When they'd hung up, Rachel sat and looked at his picture for a while. The idea of Finn missing out on his life because of her bothered her…and made her realize that he probably felt the same way about her. She would do better…she had to. She'd made a promise to her man.


	26. Chapter 26

Rachel threw herself into her work. All of the emotion she was feeling now, she put into her character. The hours got longer, the tempers got higher, the patience wore thin; but it really was amazing. Every night she told Finn about all of the incredible things she was learning and doing.

She still missed him, and she knew he still missed her. She still cried every night and went to bed thinking about him. She still got up every morning with him on her mind. But she'd managed to compartmentalize everything in such a way that though she was still heart broken, she could still function. Mostly.

She would only have one Broadway debut in her life, and she'd wanted him to be there more than anything. She knew he couldn't be, but that didn't stop her from thinking about it. She understood that he couldn't just take off whenever he wanted; he had an important job and all sorts of responsibilities. It weighed on her heart a little; after him being the one that encouraged her for years, the one that pushed her to become what she had, he'd miss the culmination of all of the hard work.

"Nervous?" Blaine asked her as he and Kurt stood with her outside of the dressing room.

"Of course she's not nervous," Kurt said, rubbing her arms. "She's Rachel Barbra Berry; she was born for this."

Rachel smiled at him and he winked at her. "Is everyone here?"

Kurt nodded. "They're all in their seats. We'll have a real reunion when this is over!" The entire Glee Club (minus Finn and Puck, obviously) had come for the first show. So had her dads, Shelby and Beth. Even Quinn had made the trip.

"I hope I don't mess up," Rachel said, twisting her hands a little. She sighed. "I just really wish Finn were here. Maybe he'll still show up!" she said hopefully, looking at the two boys.

Kurt frowned, shaking his head. "He's not coming, Rachel. I'm sorry." She frowned. "I'm going to record the whole thing," Kurt assured her.

"You're not supposed to do that," Rachel reminded him.

"So?"

"Good point." She thought about it a moment. "Don't miss a second of it, okay? I want him to see the whole thing."

Kurt nodded. "I'm going to call him so he can hear you," Blaine told her.

"Thank you," she told him with a smile. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best they could do.

Hearing people calling her, Rachel looked at them one more time. "I love you guys," she said, hugging them both. "Thank you both for being here for me."

"Break a leg," Blaine told her.

Rachel immediately thought of Finn at that, but just nodded and walked to the stage to wait for her cue. She'd thought about eating, not eating, drinking, not drinking…she hadn't been sure how her stomach would handle the nerves of opening night. She'd played it safe (she hoped) and not eaten or had anything to drink. Now she sort of wished she had some water; her throat was really dry. She talked quietly with some of the other actors, the nerves in her stomach becoming more and more pronounced.

"I don't think I can do this," she whispered to Maria, who was standing with her. "I don't think I can go on."

"Yes you can," Maria told her confidently.

"But I'm so scared," she said.

"You shouldn't be," a deep voice said behind her.

Rachel's heart dropped to the floor. She slowly turned around to see exactly what she'd been hoping for. He hadn't let her down. He'd said he couldn't come, but in her heart she'd known he wouldn't miss this. He was here! She ran to him, jumping into his arms. "Finn," she said, burying her face into his neck.

He held her for a moment, squeezing her tightly. "Did you miss me?" he asked.

Rachel pulled back, looking into his eyes. "I can't believe you're here," she said, smiling.

"I can't believe you thought I'd really miss it," he told her, grinning.

"I prayed you would come," she whispered. "I prayed that you'd somehow show up."

"And here I am," he said, brushing her cheek with his thumb.

Rachel turned her head to kiss his palm. She saw Maria motioning to her and realized it was almost time for her to go on. "Go get in your seat!" she said, stepping away from him. "I don't want you to miss it!"

Finn gave her a small salute, nodded to Maria, and left the stage area. Maria winked at Rachel. "You knew he was going to be here, didn't you?" Rachel accused.

"Maybe," Maria said. "Think you're ready?"

Rachel nodded. She was finally, _finally _ready. When it was time, she moved onto the stage gracefully, ignoring the audience. She said her lines exactly as she was supposed to. She knew exactly where to be at all times, and her voice didn't crack at all. Knowing that Finn as in the crowd gave her the strength she needed to be flawless. And flawless she was; when the curtain was going down, she smiled to herself- she'd nailed it. She'd done everything she was supposed to. Rachel Berry had finally shown everyone that she was exactly what she'd always told them she'd be- a star.

When the curtains went back up and she and the rest of the cast bowed, the applause was unlike anything she'd ever imagined. She could feel it running through her body; she could hear the cheers. She held hands with her cast mates and grinned into the crowd. Though she couldn't see him, she somehow knew were Finn was and she waved towards him.

After the curtain had gone down a second time, she turned to hug her friends. Her heart was still racing with excitement and she couldn't help but jump up and down a little. She wasn't the only one, so she figured it was probably okay. They discussed where they thought they'd done well and what they thought they did wrong. Rachel basked in the glow of attention from her cast mates, pleased that they realized how well she'd done. Hey, she's still Rachel, right? She was working on being less competitive, but she failed sometimes.

As much as she wanted to stay and chat with the others, she was desperate to see Finn again. She rushed down the hallway towards the dressing room, hoping to find him. Going too fast, she tripped slightly over a prop and stumbled into the very man she was looking for.

Finn caught her as she went down, holding her up. She looked up at him with her hair in her face and a wide grin. "You were amazing," he told her, handing her a bouquet of flowers. "I knew you would be."

"They're beautiful," she told him, pushing her hair back and smelling them. They weren't roses…they were wildflowers. All colors and shapes. They were the prettiest flowers she'd ever seen.

"You're beautiful," he told her. "And you're keeping your people waiting."

"My people?" she asked, as she put her hand on his arm and followed him to her dressing room.

"Rachel!" they cried as they saw her. Everyone had gathered, calling out to her and hugging her.

"You were fantastic," Mercedes told her, wiping a tear off of her cheek. "I knew one day we'd be seeing you up there."

Rachel was going to respond when she felt herself being lifted from behind. Puck swung her around, then turned her around and hugged her. "You were great," he said. "Just like I knew you'd be."

"I'd like to take a little credit for that," Rachel heard from the side.

"Mr. Schue!" she said, shocked. "You're here!"

"We wouldn't have missed it," Ms. Pillsbury…Schue?...told her.

Rachel hugged them, then the rest of the group. She'd never felt so loved, or so completely happy. She knew that Finn missing this would have weighed down on her so much that she wouldn't have been able to enjoy this moment so much. She looked up at him, again amazed at how perfect he was. "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," he told her, smiling. He knew exactly what she was feeling.

Rachel told them that she had to change and talk to a couple of people, so they all made plans to meet at a restaurant down the street in an hour. Finn wasn't leaving her, though. He went with her into the dressing room, a little put out that she shared it with other women and he couldn't undress her himself.

People kept walking up to him and telling him how awesome his girlfriend was and he'd always just nod his head in agreement. He knew she was awesome. He knew that he was lucky. He knew that if she didn't hurry up he was going to haul her out of the dressing room in her underwear. He needed to be near her.

"How long are you going to be able to stay?" she asked him, coming around the partition and brushing out her hair.

"I have to leave in the morning," he told her.

Rachel dropped her arms. "Really?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry, babe."

Rachel shook her head, wrapping her arms around his neck. "It's okay," she told him. "I get you right now."

Finn brushed his lips against hers. Rachel wound her hands in his hair, pulling his head down and deepening the kiss. "Hey, hey," a woman said from behind them, laughing. "We're still here."

"Sorry!" Rachel said, blushing. "I'll see you girls tomorrow!"

They walked out of the dressing room and down the hallway. They'd take two steps and have to stop and talk to someone. Take two more, another person would come up. Finn was starting to think that he wouldn't even make it out of the theater with enough time to catch his flight.

Finally they were out. Rachel took a long, deep breath. "I'm hungry," she said. "Let's eat!"

They decided to walk to the restaurant their friends were to be waiting at; as busy and crowded as the street was now, they'd likely never get a cab. They held hands and talked about the show, with Finn telling her how the people in front of him had kept talking about how great she'd been.

"You're making that up," she said, laughing.

"Promise," he told her. "They loved you. Not as much as I did, of course, but they loved you."

"It felt so good," she told him. "It felt like everything I thought it would."

"I knew you'd love it."

"I couldn't have done it if you hadn't been here."

Finn grinned at her. "Yes you could have," he told her. "You'd have just been a little more nervous."

"How long have you known you were coming?"

"Since the day I found out you got the part."

Rachel's smile grew even wider. They reached the restaurant, finding it completely full of people. "Sorry," the hostess said. "We've got a huge party in the back and no empty spaces."

"We're part of the huge party," Rachel told her, then followed her to the back room where her friends and family were waiting. Catcalls and clapping was heard again as she and Finn sat at the table. Rachel looked at the faces surrounding her and wasn't surprised to find a tear or two running down her cheek. Puck was holding Beth and laughing with Quinn. The girl looked much better than she had in years; Rachel hoped that meant she was finally getting well. Shelby was talking to her dads and making faces at Beth. Tina was sitting on Artie's lap, much to Rachel's surprise. Finn met her eyes and raised his eyebrows, motioning to the couple. Rachel shrugged slightly, grinning. Mike didn't seem to mind, and was sitting between Brittany and Santana- the three of them having an animated conversation. Kurt, Blaine and Mercedes were good naturedly arguing over something. It felt like…home.

Rachel leaned her head over on Finn's shoulder as he talked to Sam, closing her eyes for a moment and making a wish that they could all continue getting together like this for many years to come.

The after show party lasted for a couple of hours. Rachel found out that many of them (Finn and Puck included) were leaving early in the morning. They'd flown all the way to New York just for one night, and just to see her. Her heart felt so full she thought it would burst.

"I will be staying at the dorm with Kurt," Blaine told Rachel, wrapping his scarf around his neck.

"Thank you," Rachel said, smiling. She'd made her rounds through the room, catching up with everyone. Now she was exhausted and the only thing she wanted to do was get back to the apartment and spend time with Finn.

She hugged her dads and kissed Beth and Shelby goodbye. Puck and Quinn were going with them; Rachel was going to be sure to get those details from Finn after Puck gave them to him. While she was excited about alone time with Finn, she was sad to see her friends leave again. They'd all talked about getting together again soon, and Rachel hoped they did.

After taking a cab to the apartment complex, Rachel and Finn jumped into the elevator and pushed the button for Rachel's floor. As soon as the elevator door closed, Finn had her pushed against the wall, his knee between her legs and his mouth crashing down on hers. Rachel moaned as his hand moved under her shirt and bra, squeezing her breast.

Finn's lips broke away from hers, trailing kisses down her neck. Rachel's hands moved under his shirt, desperate to touch him. When the elevator stopped and the door opened, neither of them paid it any attention. Once it started closing, Finn reached out and stopped it. Rachel grinned at him, taking the key out of her little purse and hurrying to her door.

Once the door was unlocked and open, Finn picked her up and kicked it shut behind them. He carried her to her room, kicking that door shut as well. He laid her on the bed, pulling her skirt and underwear off as he stood. Taking his shirt off, he watched as she did the same. He quickly stumbled out of his pants, then settled between her legs. As his lips covered hers he thrust into her.

Rachel gasped at the feel of him inside her. Her body stretched to let him in, clenching around him as he moved. Finn's fingers moved between them and she dropped her head against the bed, crying out with each thrust.

Every time Rachel lifted her hips to meet him he sank a little deeper inside her. He licked at her nipple, watching her face. The way her body fit around him was beautiful. He felt her straining and whispered, "Let go, Rach." She shattered around him, grabbing his shoulders and digging her nails into him. Finn came as well, burying his face in her neck as he moaned with his release.

He fell over onto the bed, pulling her close to him. Rachel lifted her head to spread kisses across his chest. She reached his left side and stopped, noticing a healing scar. "What is this?" she asked, looking down at him.

Finn looked down to see what she was talking about and winced. "Hit a tree," he told her.

Rachel stared at him for a minute. "What?" she finally asked.

Finn shrugged. "I landed in a tree."

Rachel made a face. "Did you mean to?"

Finn laughed, pulling her fully on top of him and looking into her eyes. "No, I didn't mean to land in a tree."

"So why did you?"

"I was showing my ass, trying to best Puck. Waited too long to pull my chute." Rachel made another face. "What?"

"Let me see if I understand you correctly," she said. He groaned, realizing that he was in for a lecture. "You were showing off and waited too long _to open your parachute_. After you'd _jumped out of a plane_. And because of that, you _landed in a tree_."

Finn nodded. "Yeah. It was pretty stupid."

"You're damn right it was stupid!" she cried, sitting up as she straddled him. "You think jumping out of a plane is playtime? You could die every time you do it, without acting like a 12 year old!"

"I know, baby," he told her, rubbing her back.

"Don't you "I know, baby" me, Finn Hudson," Rachel said, glaring at him. "I'm here, worrying about you every single day and now I find out that I have good reason to be worried."

Finn dropped his hands. "Rach, it's okay. I promise. I won't do it again."

Rachel shook her head, looking up at the ceiling. "What would I do if something happened to you?" she asked him quietly.

Finn winced again. "Look, I won't do it anymore. I'll be completely serious from now on."

Rachel looked down at him. "You're oceans away from me and I can't be there for you if something happens. Please be careful. For me."

Finn nodded. "I will." He made a face.

"What?"

"I know that we're having a serious conversation and that you're super pissed and everything, but damn babe, you look hot sitting on top of me like that."

"Stop trying to change the subject," she told him, pushing her hips down a little so that she rubbed against him. She felt him jerk under her and grinned a little. "You've been taking foolish risks with your life," she said, putting her hands on his thighs behind her.

Finn reached up to grab her but she shook her head. "Don't touch me," she told him. "I'm talking to you." Finn groaned and dropped his hands. Rachel leaned forward, rubbing her chest against his. Her nipples scraped across his skin, causing them both to moan.

"You're supposed to be looking out for Noah, too," she reminded him, licking his flat nipple. "Not trying to kill him."

"I wasn't trying to kill him," Finn told her, his jaw clenched as she moved her body over his and he realized how wet she was. "Rach," he said, once again reaching for her.

Rachel sat up, putting her hand on his chest. "I told you not to touch me," she told him. Finn made a strangled noise and dropped his hand again. She raised a little, taking him in her hand and sliding herself down onto him. Finn cried out, jaw clenched as she sat on him.

"Are you listening to me?" she asked him as she began to roll her hips.

"Yes," he told her, pushing his hips up into her. His eyes watched her chest as she moved on top of him, his hands aching to touch them. "Can I touch you? Please?"

Rachel ground herself onto him, her mouth open as soft gasps came out. She shook her head no, but he grabbed her hips anyway, his fingers digging into her skin. Rachel cried out as he held her still and pounded into her. He flipped her under him and lowered his head to hers, his tongue plunging in and out of her mouth as he moved in and out of her body.

Rachel wrapped her legs around his waist and screamed out as wave after wave of heat moved through her. He kept pumping into her, his hands on her chest, his mouth moving from one breast to another. Rachel's legs began to tremble as she felt the heat rise again, feeling him swell inside her. When he cried out and rammed into her a couple more times, she fell apart again, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him down on top of her.

They sat like that for a few moments, with Rachel not letting Finn move. "I'm heavy, baby," he told her. "I don't need to be lying on you."

"I don't want you to move," she told him. She leaned her head back against the pillow and looked at him. "I was joking earlier, but I was serious, too. You have to take care of yourself."

"I know," he told her, kissing her forehead. "And I will."

"Beat Noah at things that don't involved planes or parachutes."

"Or trees."

She laughed. "Or trees."

"I think I can do that," he told her.

"I know you can," she said, smiling at him.


	27. Chapter 27

He'd never dreaded anything in his life as much as he was dreading his conversation with Rachel tonight. He'd been going over and over in his mind what he was going to say and no matter how he worded it, he knew it was going to break her heart. He'd even thought about having Puck talk to her so he wouldn't have to see her face when she found out.

He'd been back in Japan for a couple of months now, and it was almost time for Rachel to come visit him. Her show had a break in early June and she was planning on spending at least two weeks with him. Now it looked like that wouldn't happen.

"Hey!" she said, smiling at him through the computer screen.

Finn couldn't help but smile back. "Hey baby." Her eyes were shining with happiness and he knew that her show tonight must have gone well. Her skin seemed to be glowing and he wished he could reach through the screen and touch her.

"What's wrong?" she asked him. She could tell by the look on his face that he was upset. A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

"I love you," he told her.

"What's wrong?" she asked again.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel. If I could take it back, I would, I promise."

Rachel stared at him, confused. "What did you do?" The sick feeling was getting worse. "Finn, what happened?" Had he cheated on her?

"We're being sent to Afghanistan," he told her. "We leave in two weeks."

Rachel stared at him through the computer screen, almost wishing he _had _cheated on her. "No," she said.

Finn sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, Rach. I know I've been telling you that we probably wouldn't have to go. Things have changed, I guess."

Rachel sat back in her seat, looking at him. "Will you be in danger?"

"Nah," he said. Rachel just looked at him. "Well, maybe a little."

"This is going to be okay," she said after a moment.

"It is?"

Rachel nodded. "It is. You're very well trained, and everyone will be working together to stay safe, right?"

"Right," he told her, still surprised at how well she was taking the news.

"We'll get through this," she said firmly.

Finn wanted to kiss her. "You're amazing," he told her.

"Of course I am," she said. She frowned. "But that means I won't be able to come out and see you," she realized.

"Yeah, I know," he told her.

"You'll still be there for two weeks, right? Maybe I can come out and see you before you leave."

"You can't leave your show, Rach."

"I can't let you go to Afghanistan without seeing you." She shook her head, thinking. "I won't be able to come out for very long, but I can probably come out for a few days right before you leave."

"I don't want you to do anything that would hurt your career," he told her.

"You're more important than anything else," she told him. He started to say something and she held up her hand. "Don't argue with me."

Finn nodded, sighing. "How was the show tonight?"

"Great," she told him. "I had a television interview today that went really well. Guess what?" She moved around in her seat excitedly.

"What?" he asked, grinning at how cute she was.

"I auditioned for another role, and I think I have a really good chance of getting it!"

"Really? I thought you were pretty happy with Nala?"

"I am, but this would be a dream come true. And I won't start until after this run is over."

"Wicked?"

"Nope."

"Rent?'

"Yes."

"Yes?" Finn asked excitedly. "Rent? Truly?" Rachel nodded. "Maureen?" he asked.

"Maureen!" she yelled, laughing.

"Rachel, baby, that's awesome," he said, grinning. "What did I tell you when we watched that?"

"You said "Hey, Rachel, don't you think it's odd that you look so much like Maureen? Or that she looks so much like your mom? Maybe that means one day you'll play her on Broadway.""

"I still think that's odd, by the way," he told her. "Look how smart I am. I'm psychic. And you're perfect for that role."

"It will be so much work, but it's not like I have a life right now anyway." She made a face and stared into the computer screen.

"What?"

"Finn, it makes sense!" she said excitedly.

"What does?" he asked, confused.

"Why you joined the Air Force."

"Really?"

She nodded. "It was fate. Who knew that I would get such an amazing part so soon after we got here? I didn't. I figured it would take years. But now I'm going to school and on Broadway and it literally sucks every minute out of every day. And with Maureen- if I get it- it'll be even worse."

"Okay?" he said, confused.

"You hated school, right? You'd probably hate school here too. If you'd gone ahead and come up with me you'd be miserable and I wouldn't even be able to help you because I'd be gone all the time. You'd probably start hating me."

"I could never hate you, Rach," he broke in.

"It would have been so different, though, don't you see? This way we both get to be our own people but we still get to have each other."

"I don't have you as much as I want you," he told her.

Rachel frowned. "That's true. I still miss you so much."

"You have a point, though, babe," he told her.

"If only you didn't have to go to Afghanistan," she said sadly.

"Someone has to go."

"I wish it wasn't you."

"What's up, Berry?" Puck asked from across the room. He'd just gotten in and was making his way towards the bathroom.

"Hi Noah," Rachel called. "How's he feel about Afghanistan?" she asked Finn.

Finn shrugged. "Sarah is doing worse. I don't think Puck really cares where he is; everywhere is keeping him away from his sister, so it all sucks."

"I wish there was something I could do. Maybe I'll go to Lima on my break, visit her and Mrs. Puckerman."

"That would be nice," Finn told her. "Do you really think you'll be able to come see me?"

"I'll find a way," Rachel promised him.

"When will you hear about Maureen?"

"Hopefully within the next week. I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I really nailed the audition."

"I have faith in you," he told her. "How are Kurt and Blaine?"

"Blaine has a call back for an Off Broadway show. He's really excited; he'll be great in it. It's only a matter of time before he's recognized as the great talent he is. Kurt has been unofficially interning at my show; he and the set designer were talking one day before a performance and he really liked some of Kurt's ideas."

"Everyone seems to be doing well," Finn said. "I'm happy for you guys."

"What about you?" Rachel asked him. "How are you doing, really?"

"Better than I thought I'd be," Finn told her honestly. "I really like what I'm doing. You know how much I love jumping, but it's more than that; I'm a good medic. And I really like the work."

"Maybe you've figured out what you want to do?"

Finn shrugged. "Maybe. It's not very good money."

"That doesn't matter," Rachel told him. "If it's what you want to do, then that's good enough."

"That's what you say now," he told her. "But what about when you're Mrs. Finn Hudson?"

Rachel smiled. "I'll be so happy to be Mrs. Finn Hudson I wouldn't care if we lived in a cardboard box."

Finn smiled back at her. "You mean that?"

"No. We'll have to rob banks or something."

He laughed. "And live a life of crime? You'll be my Bonnie?"

"If you'll be my Clyde."

"You two make me sick," Puck said, walking back through the room.

"We love you too, Noah!" Rachel called out.

Puck shook his head as he walked towards his bedroom. "Yeah, yeah," he said.

Finn raised his eyebrow and looked at Rachel, who frowned. "I wish I could help him," she said. "Oh! I have an idea!"

"What is it?" Finn asked her.

"I'm not telling," Rachel said. "It may not happen. I have a lot of planning to do!"

"You're cute when you're scheming," Finn told her.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Rachel told him. "Hopefully by then I'll have everything figured out." She took a breath. "Everything is going to work out, baby. Trust me."

"Love you," he told her.

"And I love you," she said.

When they'd disconnected, Finn walked into Puck's room. "What's going on, man?"

"Not much," Puck told him, tossing a football in the air.

Finn leaned against the door. "Dude, you know that you can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to anyone," Puck told him.

"Fine," Finn said, turning around.

"Fuck, man, I'm sorry," Puck said, catching the ball and sitting up on the side of the bed.

Finn turned around. "What's going on?"

Puck shrugged. "Sarah's dying. Beth is growing up without me. We're going to war. There's just a lot of shit going on, you know? And I don't have a Rachel. I don't have someone to call and talk to when I'm feeling down. I don't have anyone to support me."

"You have me."

"No offense, man, but you're not exactly what I was talking about."

Finn sighed. "I know. And I'm sorry. Rachel's on the case, though. She thinks she can help."

"Well that makes me feel better," Puck said, rolling his eyes. They both laughed. "You scared?"

"Yeah," Finn admitted. "You?"

"Yeah."

"Rach says it will all be okay," Finn told his friend.

"From her lips to God's ears," Puck said. "Mike and Sam are probably online. Want to play?" He motioned to the XBOX.

"Hell yeah." Maybe they'd both feel better after fighting in a pretend war with their friends for a while.


	28. Chapter 28

Puck stood with his back against the wall, waiting for Rachel. Finn had wanted to meet her at the airport, but he'd been unable to get off duty. He'd be back at their place when they got there, though. Puck was more excited about seeing Rachel than he should be; she reminded him of home. He really missed home.

A woman walked by and winked at him; he grinned automatically. He couldn't turn that off- even if his heart wasn't in it, he was still a ladies man. That was part of his problem…he wanted a steady relationship like Finn and Rachel had, but he couldn't seem to stop himself from being a man whore long enough to find one.

"Noah!" Rachel called when she saw him.

Smiling, he moved towards her, catching her in his arms as she jumped. "Damn, I've missed you, Berry."

"I've missed you too," she told him, squeezing him. When he put her down, she looked into his eyes. "I brought you something," she told him.

"Oh yeah?"

"Daddy!" he heard from behind them and turned to see his baby girl clumsily running towards him.

"Beth," he said, dropping to his knees and catching her up in his arms, breathing her in. She smelled like baby shampoo and bubble gum- his two favorite things.

"Hi daddy!" the little girl said, hugging him.

"How's daddy's big girl?" he asked, grinning.

"I _am_ a big girl," she told him. "I can go to the potty all by myself now daddy!"

"That's awesome," he told her, touching her pretty curls. He'd missed her so much; he couldn't believe that he could exist without her.

"Hello Puck," Quinn said above them.

Puck looked up at her, shocked. "Quinn?"

Quinn nodded, smiling down at him. "Shelby let me bring her for a visit."

Puck looked over at Rachel, who shrugged and smiled. "I thought that you could use some cheering up."

Puck closed his eyes and held his little girl. "You were right," he told her. "I'm glad you're here," he said to Quinn a moment later, looking up at her again.

"Me too," she said. "I was worried you'd be upset."

Puck studied her for a moment. "No, this is good."

Quinn smiled at him, blushing a little. "Thank you."

"As much as I love airports," Rachel said, "I love Finn more. Is there any chance that we could get out of here and get me to my man?"

Puck nodded, standing up and picking Beth up as he did so. "Let's get out of here."

The three girls "Oooohhhhh'd" and "Ahhhhhhh'd" over Japan; it was different than anything they'd ever seen. "So many people," Rachel said wonderingly.

"So many buildings," Quinn said. "There's no free space anywhere."

Puck nodded. "I get a little claustrophobic sometimes," he told them.

"I think I would too," Quinn said.

"Not me," Rachel told them. "It's exciting. So many people, so many things to do, so many different stories."

"You and your big city dreams," Puck said, smiling at her.

"This big city has my dream in it," Rachel said, thinking about Finn. "I can't wait to see him."

"I can't wait for you to," Puck told her, making a face. "Maybe then he'll shut up about missing you."

"Jealous," Rachel said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Annoyed," he countered.

"Lies," she said, grinning.

They got to the boys apartment building, Puck telling Rachel to go on up and he'd take care of her bags and stick with the other two girls. Rachel didn't have to be told twice. As she waiting in the elevator, she tapped her foot impatiently; this was taking _forever_.

When the door opened, she moved to get out but was stopped by a wall of…man. _The_ man, _her _man. "Finn!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms.

"Rachel," he said, holding her. "I didn't think you were ever going to get here."

She laughed. "I can't believe you've been waiting at the elevator."

He shrugged, smiling at her. "I wanted to see you."

"I wanted to see you, too," she told him, putting her arm around his waist. He led her out of the elevator and toward his apartment. "This is a nice place," Rachel said as they walked down the hallway. "Japan seems wonderful."

"It's okay," he told her. "I'd rather be home."

"I'd rather you be home, too," she said.

When they got into the apartment, Finn sat on the couch and pulled her into his lap. Rachel put her head on his shoulder and they discussed their plans for the next few days and Puck's reaction to seeing Beth. Finn bent his head and tenderly brushed his lips over hers. "So you were right. Seeing Beth is exactly what Puck needed."

Rachel nodded and put her head back on his shoulder. "You should have seen his face," she told him. "He was so happy."

"I'm glad," Finn said. "He's not been happy a lot lately."

Rachel closed her eyes, the long trip catching up with her. "I feel weird," she told him.

Finn rubbed her back. "Jet lag, babe," he told her. "It happens to everyone."

She yawned. "No way. I'm not wasting any of my time here sleeping."

Finn smiled and watched her face relax as she fell asleep, content to just hold her. When Quinn carried a sleeping Beth in, Finn nodded towards Puck's room. She carried the little girl into the room and didn't come back out. Finn figured she probably laid down for a minute and fell asleep as well.

Puck came in last, pulling several bags of luggage behind him and carrying the rest. "Women, man," he complained quietly. "I can take one bag and have clean clothes left over from a week trip. They go somewhere for a couple of days and they bring everything they own." He set the bags down, unsure of which bags belonged to whom. "I see that Rachel's out. Beth was asleep before we left the airport."

Finn nodded. "I sent Quinn to lay her down in your room."

"Thanks." He stopped moving for a minute, rubbing his head. "Quinn's here."

Finn chuckled. "I just mentioned that."

"I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"I'm not sure how you're supposed to," Finn told him. "Take a couple of days, see how it goes."

Puck nodded, looking at Rachel. "She drools just like you do," he said, snickering.

Finn looked down at the woman he loved and smiled. "Yeah, she does."

Puck walked to his bedroom door and looked in, finding Quinn and Beth both asleep. "They're beautiful," he said before he meant to. He turned around and watched Finn stand up with Rachel in his arms. "Where are you going?"

"I have Rachel in my arms," Finn told him. "Even if she's asleep, I need to touch her. I'm going to go lie down with her for a while."

Puck nodded, watching his friend leave the room. He looked back into his room. "I think I'll do the same," he said to the empty living room.

Finn gently laid her down on his bed, then settled in beside her. She sighed and snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his arm. "Finn," she said in her sleep.

He brushed her hair out of her face, and looked at her. She looked exactly the same as she always had…she was perfect. He had liked her bangs in school, and he liked her hair layered like it was now. It was still as soft as he remembered, too.

He kept waiting for something to change; he'd stop missing her, or her face wouldn't be in his head everywhere he went. It hadn't happened. Even though everyone said that love fades, his hadn't. His feelings for Rachel were just as strong as they'd ever been- maybe stronger. It scared him sometimes; he'd been hurt before. She'd even hurt him in the past. If something ever happened to her, he wasn't sure he'd be able to go on.

Knowing that she felt the same way made him even more nervous about going to Afghanistan. Every day he was there, there'd be so many chances for him to be hurt. He wasn't worried about the physical pain as much as he was worried about how it would affect Rachel. There had been times that he'd contemplated breaking up with her so she wouldn't have to worry about him and could go on with her life without all of the worry. He was too selfish for that, though, he'd discovered. He simply had to have her.

His schedule for the next few days was light, and for that he was grateful. He knew that Rachel had gone to war to get these days off, and he planned on spending every minute he could with her. In an apartment full of people, they'd have to get creative to make that happen.

She'd been worried about inviting Quinn- unsure of how he'd feel about it- but it hadn't been a problem. Quinn seemed like a lifetime ago. When he thought about the time he had dated the girl, all he could remember was anger and confusion. He'd assured Rachel that seeing Quinn would be the same as seeing any of their old classmates again, and it had been the truth. The next few days were his and hers alone; he shared a place with Puck, but all of his time was hers. He'd been thinking that while she was here they should rent a hotel room so they'd have some privacy, but he hadn't talked to her about it yet.

Rachel was in his arms, and he could finally rest easy. A nap with his girl seemed like a dream come true.


	29. Chapter 29

"I think I could live here," Rachel told him. Finn had just taken her to a few of his favorite places and they were walking back to his apartment. "Would you want to live here?"

Finn put his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "I want to live wherever you are," he told her, then laughed. "And it seems like someplace different every time we have this discussion."

Rachel grinned at him and shrugged. "I love a lot of different places."

"You love everything," he said, kissing her head.

"Not _everything_," she told him. "I don't care for sushi."

"You love everything except for sushi."

"And the color green."

"And the color green," he amended. Instead of going in the apartment building, Finn walked her around to the back of it.

"Where are we going?"

"I want to show you something else," he told her. When they reached the back of the building, Rachel saw the garden.

"Oh, Finn, this is beautiful," she said. There were many different types of flowers and trees, with benches scattered throughout. They walked over to a bench and sat down.

"I miss the park in Lima sometimes," Finn told her, looking at the flowers in front of them. "I like to come down here and sit, pretend that I'm back there."

Rachel put her head on his shoulder. "I do that in New York sometimes, too," she told him.

"Makes me miss you."

Rachel nodded, her throat tight with tears. "It makes me miss you, too."

"When we're married and have a place of our own, we need a garden."

"You really don't care where we live?"

Finn shook his head. "I really don't."

"Me either."

They sat in silence for a moment, then Finn sighed. "Are we going to talk about Afghanistan?"

"Do we have to?"

"We can pretend it's not going to happen, but it will. We should talk about it."

"What do you want me to say? You're going, and nothing can stop that."

"Are you really that okay with it?" he asked, looking down into her face.

"No," she admitted. "It scares me to death." Looking into his eyes, she asked, "Are you scared?"

"Kind of," he told her. "I'm afraid I won't be able to do what I'm supposed to and someone will die or something."

"That's not what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that you'll be shot or your helicopter will go down or you'll get lost."

"I'm not going to get lost." He grimaced. "Probably. Rachel, I need to know that you're going to be okay, even if something happens to me," he said, sitting up a little and facing her. "I don't want you to sit around and mourn forever."

Rachel sat up too. "Are you really telling me that I should just "get over it" if you die?"

Finn winced. "Maybe. I just don't want you to never move on."

"What if I don't want to move on?" she demanded.

"That's what I'm afraid of," he said. "You're amazing, Rach, and you'll still have your whole life ahead of you."

Rachel sat back as if he'd slapped her. "We are _not_ talking about you dying. This is crazy. I refuse to talk about this, Finn."

"It's important," he told her. "This is important to me. I need to know that you'll be okay."

"Well I won't," she told him flatly. "I won't be okay."

Finn blew out a breath and stared up at the sky. "You'll have to be."

"You're acting like it's given that you're going to be hurt," she said accusingly.

"It's war," he reminded her.

"I know it's war!" she said, agitated. "I haven't for one second forgotten that it's war."

"Calm down, baby," he said.

Rachel shook her head and pushed her hair out of her face, taking a deep breath. "I worry about you every minute you're gone. You know that, right? You're off jumping out of planes and shooting guns and doing who knows what else, and that's all I can think about."

"I don't want you to," he told her. "Don't waste all of your time worrying about me."

Rachel put her hands on his face, looking into his eyes. "It's not a waste," she told him. "It's what a person does when she's in love. Don't you worry about me?"

"Of course I do," he told her. "But that's different."

"How is it different?"

"It doesn't take over my life." He looked at her. "I know you, Rachel. The whole time I'm gone, you'll be freaking out."

"I won't have time to freak out," she told him. "I'll be busy."

Finn gave her a look. "I _know_ you."

Rachel sighed and dropped her hands, sitting back. "Maybe I'll freak out," she finally admitted. "Okay, we both know I'll freak out. But I can't help it. And I'll do the best I can to keep my neurosis to myself."

"I just want you to be happy," he told her softly. "I don't want you to be miserable because of me."

"You make me happy," she told him. "You always have. And if I give up a little peace of mind over worrying, then that's what I'll do."

"And if something happens?"

"If something happens, I'll deal with it then. I don't want to think about it now. I don't want to talk about it now. I just want to believe that everything is going to be okay and that you'll put in your time and then we'll live happily ever after."

"Rach, I'm not sure that's the best way to deal with this," he told her.

"This is the way that I want to deal with it, Finn. This is the way that I have to deal with it right now. I know that it's not what you want and I know that it's probably not the healthiest way to see things, but it's how I'm doing it." She took a deep breath. "Okay?"

Finn sighed. "This conversation hasn't gone the way I thought it would."

"Do any of our conversations go the way you think they will?" she asked him, smiling.

"You make a good point," he said, kissing her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she told him.

"Damn, we can't get away from you two," Puck said, sitting Beth down in the garden. As the little girl ran around, Quinn and Puck sat down on the bench across from Finn and Rachel. "You're in the living room, making out. You're in the bathroom, making out. You're in the kitchen, making out. And now you're in the garden, making out."

"Jealous," Finn said.

"Probably," Puck admitted.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I feel like I'm back in high school," she told them.

"What have you been up to lately Quinn?" Finn asked her. They'd not really had a chance to talk, and he and Rachel were either kissing, trying to find a place to kiss, or kissing.

"Going to school," she told him. "It took me a while to figure out what I was going to do, but while I was…away…I worked on my art and that really helped me."

"What kind of art?" Rachel asked her.

"I've been painting more, but I'm better at sketches," she told them. She blushed a little, "I used to draw a little in high school."

"If you're talking about the pornographic pictures you used to draw of me in the bathroom, can we all just forget that?" Rachel asked.

Quinn's eyes widened and Puck laughed. "You drew those? Seriously?"

"Wait…what?" Finn asked, confused.

"Nothing," Quinn and Rachel said together.

"Anyway," Quinn said, glaring at Puck, "I've been taking some art classes at Ohio State. So far, so good. And it's close enough to Lima that I get to see Beth pretty often."

"And Sarah," Puck said. "Quinn visits her once a month."

"How's she doing?" Finn asked.

Puck shook his head, not wanting to talk about it. "I'm really glad you guys let me come," Quinn said after a moment. "I know that I haven't been the greatest friend in the past, but it means a lot that I can try again."

"We're glad you're here," Finn told her, then grinned. "We were getting tired of Puck's constant whining."

Puck rolled his eyes. "I'm hungry," he said. "Let's go get some food."

"I'm in," Finn said, picking up a squealing Beth as she tottered by him.

They stood, walking towards the front of the building. Rachel smiled as she watched Finn play with Beth, once again pushing her worries to the back of her mind. Everything would be okay.


	30. Chapter 30

Her cell phone woke her up. Rachel groaned and reached for it in the dark, trying not to wake Finn. "Shit," she said under her breath as it kept ringing and she couldn't find it. "Hello?" she finally whispered into it, not recognizing the number.

"Rachel Berry?"

"Yes, this is Rachel."

"This is Tim Harvick," the man on the other line told her.

Rachel sat up, completely awake. "Hello," she said.

"Just calling to let you know that we want you," the man said.

"You want me?" Rachel asked excitedly.

"We want you."

"Maureen?"

"Indeed."

He told Rachel when to come in and congratulations, but she barely heard him. _Maureen_. RENT! She made the proper noises and got off of the phone, then sat in the darkness and stared at the wall. She almost screamed, but stopped herself in time, looking at Finn. This was her last night in Japan and they were both exhausted; they'd not slept much at all in the last few days, trying to spend as much time together as possible. They'd only gone to sleep a couple of hours ago and he seemed to be sleeping like the dead.

Rachel stared at her phone for a moment longer, then sat it on the table and quietly lay back down beside Finn. He moved around, cracking an eye open and looking at her. "Hey," he said huskily. "You awake?"

"Yes," she told him.

"Why?"

Rachel debated for a moment, then smiled at him. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I got Maureen!"

"You got it?" Rachel nodded. Finn grinned and pulled her close to him, kissing her. "I knew you would."

Rachel kissed him back, then nodded. "I did too."

Finn chuckled. "My Rachel," he said softly. "The Broadway star."

"I like the sound of that," she said, brushing her lips over his. His fingers tightened at her waist, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss. Rachel's tongue met his and he groaned, his hand becoming tangled in her hair. He rolled her over onto her back, placing himself over her, propped on his elbows. "You're amazing," he told her, nuzzling her neck.

Rachel ran her hands over his back, resting them on his shoulders. She kissed his neck, her legs rubbing up and down his. He trailed kisses down her chest, his tongue tracing her ribs before moving lower to her stomach. Rachel sighed as his mouth skimmed over her thighs, his large hands parting her legs. Every thought of Broadway left her; all she could think about or feel was him.

Watching her, Finn's lips moved to the inside of her thighs, then higher. Rachel gasped when his tongue found the sensitive bundle of nerves it was seeking, teasing it. He slid a finger inside her and smiled at her moan. "Finn," she gasped. "I need you."

Rachel felt the warmth build throughout her body, her hands tightening in his hair. When he inserted another finger, she lost it. Without thinking, she grabbed a pillow and shoved it over her face to stifle the sounds she was making.

Finn licked himself back up her trembling body, pushing the pillow away and capturing her lips with his as he thrust into her. Rachel wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly to her as her hips rose to meet his. He moved slowly, almost lazily, and Rachel felt the delicious heat sweep back through her body.

When his lips moved away from hers, she immediately kissed his jaw, then moved her lips down his neck. Tracing the outside of his ear with her tongue, she heard him suck in a breath as his hips moved faster. Rachel brought her hands around to his chest, then down his stomach. Tracing the outlines of his muscles with her fingertips, she lightly sucked on his neck, smiling at his groan.

When his hand moved between them to touch her, her smile became a gasp. Finn pumped into her faster as he rubbed her, looking into her eyes. "Finn," she cried softly, arching into him. He lowered his head, his mouth finding her nipple. When his lips tugged on it she fell apart, her scream stifled by his hand over her mouth.

Feeling her body tighten and clench around him he found his release, closing his eyes as the world spun. He moved to the side of her, pulling her closely to him. "You're amazing," she said, repeating his earlier words.

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," he said quietly. "It doesn't seem real."

"I don't want to," she told him. "Think they'll let me go with you?"

"Nope," he said, smiling a little. "Plus, Maureen is waiting."

Rachel propped her chin on his chest, looking up at him. "I'd give it up to be with you."

"I wouldn't let you," he told her, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Rachel rolled her eyes, smiling at him. "Think you'll be able to see me as Maureen?"

"If there's any way I can be there, I will be there," he promised her.

"I know," she said.

"How long will this Maureen thing last?"

"I'm not sure," she told him. "Months, years…I just don't know."

"So hypothetically it's yours until you don't want it anymore?"

"Not always. They could choose to replace me at any time. That's one of the reasons Broadway is so exhausting. Even after you've gotten a role, one mess up could take it from you. Every time has to be perfect."

"You can do perfect, Rach."

She smiled. "I can try," she corrected. "And after a while it becomes natural. It's getting to that natural point that's so worrisome."

"When I get out of the service, what do you see us doing?"

"Not leaving the apartment for a month."

Finn chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. "I'm being serious."

"So am I." She put her head against his chest. "I see us in New York."

"But what are we doing there?" he asked her, curious.

"I'm not sure yet," she said truthfully. "But we're together and we're happy."

"I wish I knew what would make me happy," he said wistfully. "Besides my lovely lady, of course."

"Of course," she said, smiling up at him. "I was being serious when I told you that no matter what you decide to do, I'll support it and you."

He rubbed her back, looking down at her. "I'll do the same. Are you still thinking that you don't want to make Broadway a forever thing?"

"The only thing that I know for sure is that you're my forever thing," she told him. "Everything else is subject to change." She paused. "I just don't think I'm going to want to be on stage for the rest of my life. Or maybe I'll still want to be on stage, just not in the spotlight so much."

"I never thought I'd see the day when Rachel Berry isn't sure she wants to be in the spotlight."

"Mmm," she said, kissing his chest. "In your life, I always want to be in the spotlight."

"And you always will be," he told her.

Rachel looked up at him. "We're going to last."

"I know," he whispered.

"We're so lucky, you know? So many people go throughout their lives without ever finding their true love, and we've had ours all along."

"It makes me nervous," he admitted.

"I feel that way sometimes, too," she told him. "But I heard a story in the news the other day about this couple that was married for 72 years. Can you imagine? They were in a car wreck and died within hours of each other."

"That's sad."

"But it's happy, too," she said. "They had more than a normal lifetime together; they wouldn't have been able to make it apart."

"We'll have that," he told her.

"That's what I hope for," she said. "When I read that story, I immediately thought of us."

"And how we're going to be together for 72 years?"

"Of how I pray that we get that long," she told him.

"We will," he said confidently. "Like you said, this doesn't happen every day, Rach. It's special. And we can't waste it or let it get away from us. We have to protect it."

Rachel nodded. "And you have to protect yourself," she said. "Finn, you have to do everything you can to stay safe over there, okay? No showing out, no trying to be a hero, no putting yourself in harms way."

"It's my job to protect and save other people, Rach," he told her softly.

Rachel nodded, taking a deep breath. "I understand that," she said. She sat up. "If a time comes when you have a choice between you or someone else, I'm asking you to pick you."

Finn sat up too. "I can't do that," he told her, catching her arm as she moved away. "Rachel, listen to me," he pleaded.

Rachel shook her head, tears falling down her face. "No."

Finn smiled at her stubbornness, his fingers gently wiping the tears away. "I'm going to do everything I can to stay safe, I promise. I want to come back to you. I don't want to ever be without you, and I don't want you to have to go through ever being without me. You just have to trust me that I can take care of myself, okay?"

Rachel nodded, but the tears didn't stop. "Okay."

"Rachel," he said, sighing. He pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head. "I'm coming back to you, okay? I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she said thickly.

"I'll keep this one," he told her.

She nodded, but didn't say anything. She put her head to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was so incredibly strong, just like the man himself. She couldn't imagine anything happening to him; at the same time, she was terrified of just that. "Will you think about me?"

"Every minute I'm over there, same as here."

"And you'll leave the sex shark stuff to Noah."

Finn grinned. "Without a doubt." He looked towards the door. "He may not want to be a sex shark anymore though."

Rachel smiled. "Yeah, he and Quinn seem to have hit it off, huh?"

"Maybe it'll work this time. They're both different people."

"Which is a good thing; I don't want to rip her hair out when I see her now."

Finn laughed. "Violence, Rach?"

"In this case, yes," she said. "I think that wherever she went really helped her though. She seems…normal."

"I'm surprised Shelby let her bring Beth."

"Well, I'm here too," Rachel reminded him. "Though I haven't seen much of either of them since we've been here."

"Regretting that?"

She smiled up at him. "Not at all."

"I wish I could take you to the airport tomorrow," he said.

"I do too. But maybe it will be easier this way."

"Nothing about this is going to be easy," he said, frowning.

"I know."

"We can still Skype every night."

"And I'll still send you letters."

"It won't be the same, but a little Rachel in my life is a million times better than none."

She moved up to kiss him. "You don't have to worry about having none," she told him. "I'm all yours, forever."

"For the next 72 years, anyway."

She grinned. "Exactly."


	31. Chapter 31

Opening night of RENT came and went, without any sign of Finn. Rachel talked to him every day, and prayed for him every night. When he'd leave for days at a time, her entire world stopped spinning until he came back. He promised that he would be okay. He promised that he'd come back. She didn't believe any of it until she saw his face or heard his voice.

She was making a lot of new friends, and they were doing their part to keep her sane (if she'd ever been sane to begin with). She and Finn had a long talk about school, and she'd decided to put it off for a while; she was doing what she loved to do, and she just didn't have time for it right now. Finn had reminded her that she could always go back to school but that Broadway waited for no one.

A few more months went by and Rachel calmed down a little. She still freaked out every now and then, but for the most part she could handle it. She laughed more often and realized one morning that she was singing in the shower again. It felt good.

"Hey, Kurt, how are things going on the show?" she asked her friend, towel drying her hair. The set designer for her last show had loved Kurt so much, he'd hired him on as an assistant.

"Good, little diva," Kurt told her happily, putting bread in the toaster. "You were fabulous last night, by the way."

Rachel grinned. "Did you send the video to Finn?"

Kurt nodded. "Blaine did, I had to go. I'm sure he'll agree that you did a superb job."

"I miss him," she said, sighing.

"I'm proud of you, though. You're not letting it hold you back this time."

"He promised everything would be okay," she said, shrugging.

Kurt opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Rachel…"

Rachel shook her head. "I know, Kurt. But I'm choosing to take him at his word, okay?"

Kurt shrugged. "Okay, then."

"Where's Blaine?"

"Some of us still have school, you know."

"It's Saturday morning," she said, confused.

Kurt nodded. "He has a big paper due, so he went to the library to work on it. Apparently, you and I make too much noise."

"Oh man, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Kurt told her. "It is what it is, and we are what we are."

"Oliver is coming over later and we're going to fix dinner. You and Blaine will be here, right?"

Kurt frowned, shaking his head. "No, we're going out tonight." He pulled his toast out of the toaster. "That's odd, I told Oliver that we had plans a couple of days ago."

"He must have forgotten," Rachel said, shrugging. She bit her lip. "Think I should just reschedule?" Oliver was in the show with Rachel, and they got along really well. He reminded her a little of Noah, and she felt like his big sister sometimes.

"No reason to," Kurt said. "We'll all go out to eat sometime next week."

"Okay," Rachel said, walking back towards her room. "I'll see you guys later!"

She spent the rest of the day going over her lines. She knew them all by heart, but she didn't dare risk becoming complacent and something going wrong. When Oliver knocked on the door at 6, she was shocked to realize that she hadn't moved from her bed all day. Finn was right…she was a little neurotic.

"Hey," she said, opening the door.

"You were reading your lines, weren't you?"

"Maybe. How did you know?"

"I've been knocking for five minutes."

Rachel made a face. "Sorry!"

Oliver shook his head, laughing. "Let's cook some food!"

Rachel led him into the kitchen. "I asked Kurt and Blaine if they wanted to eat with us, but they said they had plans." She put her hands on the counter and looked at him. "Plans that you knew about."

Oliver blushed. With his red hair and fair skin, blushes were _extremely _noticeable and very adorable. "Yeah, I knew."

"So what's the deal?"

Oliver cleared his throat. "I just wanted to spend a little time with you alone."

Rachel watched him for a minute. "I don't believe that for a second," she finally said. "Wait a minute…" Oliver blushed again. "You have a crush on Kurt!"

"Shhh!" Oliver said, looking around.

"You know they're gone."

Oliver shrugged. "They may have forgotten something or something," he mumbled.

"Oh Oliver," Rachel said, frowning. "This isn't good at all."

"I know," the man said miserably. "I keep going out of my way to avoid him, but somehow he's always around anyway."

"How long have you had feelings for him?"

"Since I met him." He looked at Rachel. "It's a mess," he told her. "I can't eat, I can't sleep…I think about him all the time."

"I know how that is," Rachel said sympathetically. She leaned her head to the side. "Did you hear something?"

Oliver shook his head and continued, lamenting the bad luck of loving Kurt Hummel. Rachel felt bad for him; Kurt and Blaine truly loved each other, even after all this time. She and Oliver fixed dinner and ate, Rachel basically just listening to him and nodding at appropriate times. Something kept tugging at her, but she wasn't sure what it was.

They cleaned up after themselves, then watched a movie. "I'm so sorry about all of this," she told him as he got ready to leave. "What happened to that nice woman you was dating?"

Oliver shrugged, grabbing his keys. "Just didn't work out. Sort of like this would never work out."

Rachel hugged him. "You'll find someone," she told him.

Oliver nodded, kissed her on the cheek and left. Rachel folded the blanket on the couch back up and went to the kitchen to put the dishes up. She walked back into her room and turned on her laptop, settling in on the bed.

Seeing an email from Finn, she immediately clicked on it. Since it was a video, she had to wait for it to download. She looked over at the picture of him sitting by her bed, smiling. She loved seeing that face and was excited about seeing it right now.

"Rachel, it's Terry," the man in the video said. Rachel sat up, shocked. Terry was Finn and Puck's friend; he was also their pilot. "Finn had his computer running, so I'm sending this to you from it." He dropped his head. "I don't know how else to say this, but I've got some bad news. I wish that I had your number…I would have called you."

Rachel's heart stopped beating and her body turned ice cold. "No," she said out loud.

"We just flew into a combat zone; we had men down and there was a group of children that we needed to pick up. After getting almost everyone loaded, we realized that we wouldn't have enough room for everyone. I promise you that I had no idea what they'd done until we were already on our way back here. The fighting had escalated so much there was no way I could turn back. Finn and Puck chose to stay behind so a group of kids could get on the chopper."

Rachel's hand covered her mouth as a strangled sound escaped from her lips.

"A group of us are going back out. I just wanted to let you know that I don't intend on leaving them there. We'll get them, okay? I wanted you to know what was going on, but I want you to have faith in us and in them. They're smart boys and they're good at what they do. They have weapons and they know how to hide. We'll find them and we'll get them out of there." He sighed. "I hope I'll talk to you soon." Rachel stared at the blank screen, unable to comprehend what was going on.

Kurt and Blaine walked into the apartment and heard her sobs. Rushing into her room, Blaine sat on the bed and held her as Kurt moved the laptop from her lap. "Rachel?" he asked. "What's going on?"

Rachel shook her head and buried her face in Blaine's shoulder. Kurt looked at her laptop and started the video again. He gasped when Terry's face appeared. When the video was over no one spoke; Rachel's sobs were the only noise.

"They're going to get them, Rach," Blaine said, rubbing her back. "They're already on their way."

Kurt nodded, tearing his eyes away from the blank screen and looking at Rachel. "He and Puck will be okay," he told her. "I'm sure of it."

"Kurt, you should call Burt and Carol," Blaine told him.

Kurt nodded and left the room, walking into his room and sliding down the door. This was a phone call that he did not want to make.

Back in Rachel's room Blaine rocked the girl, humming a song. Eventually her sobs subsided, but she still didn't talk. She had gone from feeling too much to feeling nothing. She was absolutely numb.

Kurt came back into the room after calling home, sitting on the bed beside them. No one moved or spoke for hours, waiting for a call or an email; _something _that would tell them the boys were still alive. As the night became day and there was still no word, Kurt once again left the room to make some phone calls.

He talked to Rachel's director and explained what was going on, telling him that she wouldn't be able to make it in. He called his own boss and went through more of the same. He called all of their friends, and again talked to Burt and Carol. Then he went back into her room and lay down beside her, entwining his fingers with Blaine's across her stomach.

Getting up only to go to the bathroom, the three waited in the silence of her bedroom for the entire next day. Blaine got up and took a shower, making phone calls of his own, and walked back into the room drying his hair. He realized that the way they were handling this thing might not be the best way, but it seemed to be working for Kurt and Rachel, and he'd do anything to make them happy.

Kurt finally convinced Rachel to shower herself, fixing them all something to eat while she was in the bathroom. Blaine stopped him in the doorway, raising his eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

"Not really, no," Kurt said, his eyes bloodshot and wet.

Blaine placed a soft kiss on his lips and squeezed his arms. "Hop in the shower when Rachel's out and I'll finish getting the food together."

When Rachel came back into the room and once again sat on the bed, Blaine took her a tray of food. She shook her head and then ignored it, staring at the computer. "Rachel, you need to eat something," Blaine told her.

"I can't right now," she told him softly. "Not right now." She looked up at him. "I will later though, okay? I promise."

Blaine sighed and nodded, scooting over on the bed so Kurt could join them. "Any word?" he asked.

"Not yet," Rachel answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet," she said again.

Another night passed. Rachel was crying more and more now, unable to stop herself. They should have called by now. She should have another video by now. Someone should have told them _something _by now. She feared the worst, but a small piece of her heart refused to let go. It told her that Finn was still alive, and still fighting. She held on to that tiny glimmer of hope for all she was worth.

Carol and Burt showed up the next day. Kurt hugged them both, telling them that Rachel was sleeping. Carol walked into the room to find the young woman curled into a ball, one hand on her laptop, the other holding her phone. Carol could see the dark circles under her eyes and knew that this was just as hard on Rachel as it was on her. She remembered losing Finn's father and sent up another prayer that she didn't have to go through losing her son too. She moved to the bed, lying beside the girl and closing her eyes. Together they would wait.


	32. Chapter 32

Finn had known when they started out that something was wrong with Puck. "What is it, man?" he asked.

"Nothing," Puck said, throwing his things into the chopper. "Let's get to work."

"You'll tell me later?"

"Sure."

That had been all he'd said, but Finn had realized that it was much more than "nothing." Flying to the pick up, they'd all laughed and joked about this mission being like a vacation; it was supposed to be a simple pick up and back to base. But before reaching their target, they started taking fire. The smiles were quickly replaced with grim faces, each man contemplating the very real fear of dying.

Reaching the drop sight, they lowered themselves to the ground, searching for the people they were supposed to be retrieving. Finding them, they made quick work of patching the wounded as best they could and sending them up.

"We're not going to have enough room," Terry told them through their headsets.

"What?" Finn had yelled, trying to be heard over the sound of the chopper.

"We'll have to come back and get the rest," Terry told them.

Puck looked at the five children waiting to board the aircraft. "We can't leave them," he told Terry.

"You have to," Terry said. "You and Hudson get back up here."

Puck looked at Finn, seeing his anguish reflected in his friend's eyes. He ripped his helmet off. "We can't leave them," he said again. Tears ran down his face.

"Puck…"

"Sarah's dead."

"What?"

"Sarah. She died last night." Puck looked at the children, then back at Finn. "I'm staying. They can take my spot. I can't let them die too."

Finn rubbed his face with his hand. "I'm not leaving you, man," he said after he'd jerked off his helmet too. They both heard Terry yelling at them through their headsets.

"You have to," Puck told him. "Take a few of them in my place. I'll stay here with the rest."

Finn looked up at the chopper, then into the kids faces. "Fuck," he said, wrapping the cable around them. He thought about Rachel and wondered if he'd ever see her again. She'd hate him for this and he couldn't blame her. He'd promised her that he'd take care of himself, and he'd lied.

After the last child made it up, their friend Johnny leaned out the door. Finn made an arm motion, letting him know they should go. "What are you doing, man, call them back!" Puck shouted.

"I'm not leaving you," Finn yelled to his friend. "We'll wait here together. They'll be back."

"Get on the fucking chopper," Puck demanded, pushing his friend.

"I'm not going," Finn said again, letting himself be pushed.

"You're going to fucking die!" Puck screamed, moving to put his headset back on. Finn knocked it out of his hands.

"I'm not leaving without you," he said again. "Terry will be back."

"You dumb son of a bitch," Puck said so lowly Finn couldn't hear him. "You have something worth living for."

Shots rang out around them and both men ducked. "Shit, someone's shooting at us," Puck said. "Did you see where it was coming from?"

"No," Finn told him, touching his ear where a piece of debris had hit it. "That stings." He looked over at Puck. "I'm really sorry about Sarah, man."

Puck nodded. "Me too."

Another shot lodged in the wall behind them. "We've got to get out of here," Finn said.

"If we leave this spot, Terry won't know where to get us."

"If we stay in this spot we'll die. I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to go just yet."

"I thought I was," Puck told him. "I was wrong."

Finn studied their options, trying to figure out which way they should go. "Through there," he told his friend, pointing to an opening in the brick wall. "If we get behind that, we should be able to make a run for it."

Puck nodded and they moved along the edge of the wall, closer to the opening. People were still shooting at them, but Finn and Puck were either really lucky or their attackers were extremely poorly trained. Reaching the opening, Puck jumped through first and Finn moved in shortly after.

"What is this place?" Finn asked, looking around.

"Just an abandoned building, I guess," Puck said. He looked at Finn. "What the hell are we doing, man?"

"I have no idea," Finn admitted. "But at least we're not alone."

Puck shrugged. "It could be worse, I guess."

They surveyed their surroundings, each too afraid to move much, lest they give off their location. Finn closed his eyes and thought about Rachel's smile; he'd missed it so much. He knew that after she heard about this little adventure he wouldn't be seeing it again for quite some time. "Rachel is going to kill me."

Puck nodded. "I'd rather face the army out there than Rachel Berry when she's pissed. You've got balls of steel, bro."

Finn grinned. "She's not that bad."

"We'll see," Puck said. "How long do you think until Terry comes back?"

"He probably just went straight to the camp and will be coming straight back. So maybe an hour and a half, two hours."

"Think we'll last that long?" Puck asked him.

"I hope so." He thought of Rachel again. "I hope so."

Both men grew quiet when they heard someone walking in front of the opening they'd crawled through. Finn's heart felt as if it was going to burst out of his chest. He wasn't ready for this. What had he been thinking? He should be in college wiping drool off of his mouth, not sitting in the dirt in Afghanistan waiting to kill or be killed.

Puck put his finger to his lips and lifted his weapon. Was he really going to be able to use it? Finn didn't know if he could. He looked down at his gun and realized that it was shaking…because _he _was shaking.

Someone grabbed Puck, startling them. In his shock, Puck dropped his gun. The large man threw Puck to the ground, kicking him repeatedly in the side. His friend struggled and groaned, and Finn was certain he'd heard his friend's ribs break.

He pulled his gun up, lining the shot up exactly the way he'd practiced. He didn't want to shoot this man, but it was obvious that the man was going to kill Puck. Taking a deep breath, he slowly squeezed the trigger and the man dropped to the ground. The sound of the shot echoed around the little space and Finn knew they didn't have much time. "Can you get up?" he asked Puck, running to him.

"Yeah," Puck told him, taking his hand and standing. "Thanks."

Finn nodded, not ready to think about what he'd just done. "We need to get out of here; his friends will have heard that shot."

They ran along the wall, away from the body. Something big was going on outside of the wall; they could hear large vehicles moving. "What is this shit?" Puck asked wonderingly as they came upon another opening. There were people everywhere, shooting and stabbing each other.

"War," Finn said quietly. "What should we do?"

"Stay our asses here," Puck said. "Unless you have a better idea?"

Finn sighed. "Not right now, I don't."

"I'm sorry," Puck told him, crouching beside him. "I should have just gone with you when you asked me."

"We all make mistakes," Finn told him.

"This one could cost us our lives."

"Yeah, that does suck." They smiled a little at each other.

They waited the fighting out. They knew Terry wouldn't be able to get to them with this sort of fighting going on, so they hunkered down and stayed silent. Puck tried to come up with plans that would get them out of there, but Finn just thought about Rachel. He hadn't seen her as Maureen live yet and it saddened him. He loved the videos Kurt and Blaine made him, but it wasn't enough; he wanted more of her.

She'd seemed so much happier lately, and he hated that this would destroy all of that. "Who told you about Sarah?" Finn asked.

"Mom called earlier. The time difference is still too confusing for her."

"She okay?"

"Nah," Puck said, shrugging. "Are any of us?"

Finn nodded. He definitely wasn't okay right now; he'd actually killed a man and he was afraid that he would be shot at any given moment. There was nothing okay here. He kept peeking through the gap, trying to see what was going on with the other side. "Who are they fighting?" he asked. "Is that us?"

"I think so," Puck told him. "Maybe we can somehow get in with them?"

"We could try," Finn agreed. "How would we do that, though?"

"Flag 'em down? Hell, I don't know."

"I think we should just continue to wait here," Finn said, sitting back down. "Less chance of being seen."

Puck nodded. They sat for hours, never moving. "I can't do this," Finn said. "I need water. So much water."

"You don't have any left?" Puck asked him, holding his side; he'd definitely broken at least one rib.

Finn shook his head. "Not anymore." He looked up at the sun through a broken window. "I hope they find us," he said softly.

"Me too, man, me too."


	33. Chapter 33

Puck had been captured, but Finn had remained hidden. Watching his friend being brutally beaten by a group of men, it had taken everything he had to bide his time and wait for the right moment to attack them. There were still American ground troops in the area, and Finn knew that if he could find them, he'd be better able to help Puck.

They'd been out of water and they hadn't eaten in days. Both men were severely sunburned and Puck had started hallucinating before he'd been taken. Finn felt weak and knew that if he didn't do something soon he wouldn't be able to. They'd both left their helmets on the ground where they'd been shot at, and Finn decided that he was going to go back and get his, hoping he'd be able to talk to someone on the radio. He gave one last look at his unconscious friend being dragged into the building and prayed that he was doing the right thing and that Puck would make it.

He tried not to think about the man he'd killed; he hadn't thought he could do it, and then it happened before he realized it. His chest felt achy when he did think about it and he just wanted Rachel. He wanted Rachel to hold him, to whisper to him that it would be okay. He wanted to lay his head in her lap as she played with his hair and sang something soft and pretty. He needed the woman he loved. He wasn't supposed to be in the middle of the desert, getting shot at and killing people. He was supposed to be with her.

Getting closer to the spot they'd left their helmets, he heard people talking. He realized that the body of the man he'd killed had been found. He couldn't understand what they were saying, but he knew it didn't bode well for Puck. He had to hurry.

Keeping low, he found the spot he was looking for…but no helmets. Of course someone had probably picked them up; they'd have been stupid not to. Finn sighed, looking up at the sky, wondering what he should do now. Looking behind him, his eyes found the helmet Puck had thrown, partially hidden by a group of rocks.

Moving slowly towards it, afraid that it was a trap, Finn finally reached the helmet. He picked it up, closing his eyes and expecting an explosion. Nothing happened. Looking into the helmet, he prayed that it was still working. "Hello?" he said, pushing a button. "Can anyone hear me?" Nothing. He tried again. "Hello?"

After another brief silence, he heard Terry. "Hudson? Where the hell are you?"

Finn looked around. "I'm at the drop site," he said quietly. "We're in trouble."

"No shit you're in trouble," Terry said. "We've been searching for you two for days."

"Puck's been captured," Finn told the pilot. He gave the man the best directions he could. "There's a ground troop around; can you patch me through to them?"

Terry told him to hold on and was gone. After a few minutes, another voice came over the helmet. "Sergeant Falk," the voice said.

Finn introduced himself and told them man where he was and what was happening. "We've been trying to pinpoint their location for weeks now," the man told Finn. "They have several of the guys we're looking for staying there; if we could get them, it would be a major strike."

Finn told him everything he knew about the set up of the compound and where his friend was being held. "If they have more prisoners, I'm not aware of it," he said.

"They do," Sergeant Falk told him. "They have ten of our guys. If they've let them live."

"I can get in," Finn told the man. "I'm just one guy, and they're not expecting me."

"Sounds like suicide to me," Falk said.

"I can do this," Finn said, determined. "I have to save my friend. If I can save someone else, I'll do it."

They spoke for a few more minutes, making plans for the ground troop to create a diversion so that Finn could get into the compound. Finn ran back to the area he'd last seen his friend, praying that what he was about to do would work. He waited for the signal, prepared to run into the lion's den.

When gunfire started to the west, he didn't move. He watched as men with large machine guns ran out of the main house towards the gun fire. Two guys didn't move; Finn realized that they were the protectors of the main house…and all of the prisoners.

He thought about shooting them, but realized that would make more noise than he was willing to allow; it would be like signing his own death warrant. He slowly moved down the hill, planning to sneak around them. He got behind them but slid along a small hill, making noise. "Shit," he whispered, looking up at the guards. They hadn't noticed him.

Finn moved into the door, looking down a long dirty hallway, trying to figure out what he was going to do. He had no real plan. He wasn't entirely sure where Puck was being held in the building, or where the other ten guys would be…of if any of them were even alive. That thought hit him like a ton of bricks.

He started to walk down the hallway, but something held him back. It was fear. His entire body was shaking and he felt like he was going to be sick. He didn't know if he could do this or not…this was real. This was scary. He could die.

He stood there for another minute, sweat rolling down his back and wondered what he should do. If he went forward, he could be killed. If he went backwards, he could be killed. This wasn't Call of Duty, and he wasn't playing Sam and Mike. This shit was real.

He put his back against the wall and tried to control his breathing. When Rachel was nervous, she always had a little song she would sing to calm herself down. He couldn't remember the song, but he could remember her. Thinking about her, he made his mind up. He wasn't going to turn around. He was going to be the man she'd always believed in; the man she thought was a hero. He was going to save his friend, and he was going to take out anyone that stood in his way.

He walked down the hallway, his ears straining to hear any noise that would let him know where his friend was. He heard nothing. He kept walking, his heart beating so loudly that he was afraid someone else would hear it and shoot him. He didn't find any doors until he reached the end of the hallway where there were two.

He stared at both doors. If he opened either of them, there was a chance someone with a gun would be on the other side and shoot him. He couldn't just stand around, though; he had to choose one. He put his ear against the door on the right but heard nothing.

Putting his ear to the second door, he heard a faint noise. He wasn't certain, but he thought it was a moan. Making his decision, he checked his weapon and then kicked the door down. He found a row of cells, each with at least two men in all of them except the last one. No one seemed to be guarding them, but kicking the door in had made a lot of noise. "Where are the keys?" he asked one of the men in the first cell.

"Over there," the man told him, pointing at the wall behind him. Finn grabbed them, rushing down the line of cells and opening them. Some of the men were in bad shape and could barely walk. There were only nine of them and Puck was nowhere to be found.

"Where's your other guy?" Finn asked one of the men, who was helping his friend stand.

"They came and got him today," the man told Finn. "Don't know where they took him."

"Shit," Finn muttered. "My friend is somewhere in here too." He figured the other door was his only option. He told the men about the two guys standing guard out front, explaining that the rest of their company was creating a diversion for them but there may be more now; they had to take the men out.

"What about you?" one of the men said.

"I can't leave here without my friend," Finn told them.

"I'll go with you," he told Finn. "I'm Myers."

Finn nodded. "I'm Hudson." He looked at the other men. "The rest of you get out of here if you can."

He and Myers watched the men move down the hallway as they stood in front of the door he hadn't opened. "The guy that's missing is my best friend," Finn told the man.

Myers nodded. "Our man that's missing is mine." They looked at each other and Myers grinned. "Never thought I'd see the day I'd owe my life to an Airman."

Finn smiled and looked at the door. "We're not out of here yet."

Finn stood back and let the man kick the door in, holding his gun up and ready to shoot. They found another hallway. "Shit," Myers said.

They walked down the corridor, seeing only one door at the end. Finn stopped moving and held his hand up to stop the other man as well. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

Myers nodded grimly. Someone was screaming. "Those fuckers," he said.

Reaching the door, Finn looked at him. "We have one gun, and I don't know how many guys are in here. What's our plan?"

Myers shook his head. "I kick in the door, you shoot any motherfucker that tries to kill us. We both pray they don't succeed."

"Damn," Finn said. "That's not much of a plan." He looked at the door, then behind them. "But it's all we've got."

Finn again stood back, waiting for the other man to kick in the door. He held his breath and thought of Rachel and the promise he'd made to her. He'd make it out. He would.

Everything happened so fast; Myers kicked in the door, startling the men in the room. They turned from the man chained to the wall, their guns on the table behind them. Before they could move for them, Finn fired. Two of the men went down, dead. The third jumped into a cell and away from the bullets. Finn continued to walk into the room, trying to not look at Puck. If he did, he wouldn't be able to focus on what he was doing.

Myers ran for the table and picked up a gun, checking out the rest of the room. His friend was lying on the floor in a cell on the other side of the room. "No!" he moaned, searching for the keys. He couldn't find them and ran towards the bodies on the floor, searching them.

Finn slowly walked towards the cell, finding the last man backed against the wall with his hands up, crying and speaking in a language Finn couldn't understand. Finn almost shot him, and then realized the man was unarmed. He couldn't shoot an unarmed man.

As he lowered his weapon, the man's face changed and he reached for a knife in his boot. He threw it at Finn, hitting him in the chest. Finn staggered back, raising his gun and shooting the man. He slid down the wall, the wound on fire. He touched the knife, then hissed as the pain radiated throughout his body. "Shit," he said.

"Hudson," Myers said, crouching down beside him. "Shit."

Finn nodded, wincing. "Puck?"

"Our friends are alive," the man told him.

"Thank God," Finn said. He looked at the knife sticking out of him. "I need you to pull it out," he said. He looked around for something he could use to keep pressure on the wound until he could get it sown up. "Grab that pillowcase over there first."

Myers took the pillow out of the case and brought it over. "Tear your shirt into strips," Finn told him.

Myers nodded and did what Finn asked. "Now what?"

"You're going to pull the knife out and put the pillowcase over it, and then tie it on with the strips."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I may pass out," Finn told him. "If I do, just find some water and pour it over my face."

Without another word, Myers did what Finn asked him to. Finn screamed out as the knife was removed from his body, and again as Myers put the dressing on it. Sweat poured into his eyes as the other man tied the strips around him. When he was done, he looked at Finn. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Finn said. "I'm great."

Myers nodded, almost smiling. "How are we going to get them out of here?"

"We're going to have to carry them," Finn told him.

Myers looked at the wound in Finn's chest; the blood had already soaked through the bandages. "Can you do that?"

"I have to," Finn said. He stood, groaning at the wave of pain that hit him.

Walking to Puck, Finn almost didn't recognize his friend. "I'm getting you out of here," he promised. Myers picked Puck up, and Finn caught him in a fireman's carry. He almost passed out as he straightened, the pain and blood loss almost taking him down.

Myers picked up his friend and looked at Finn. "Ready?"

Finn nodded. "Let's get out of here." He held his gun at his side, praying he wouldn't have to use it again.

They walked back down the first hallway, not seeing anyone. As they walked through the second door they found a man running towards them. Finn almost shot him, but recognized in enough time that he was one of the Army men. "We took down the guards," he told Finn and Myers, "but there's another group of men right outside the wall. We can't get out."

Finn nodded. "You've got to radio Falk," he said. "I left the helmet by the front door."

The man nodded and ran toward the door. Finn and Myers slowly carried their friends down the hallway. "Even if this doesn't work," Myers told him, "you'll a hell of a man for trying."

"It has to work," Finn told him, reaching the end of the hallway and setting his friend down against the wall. "I promised my girlfriend." He searched Puck's body but couldn't figure out where the blood was coming from.

Setting his friend down as well, Myers smiled at his words. "I guess now we wait."

They heard the gun fire move steadily closer. "Myers," someone called from the front, "Falk is here. PJ's are on their way."

Myers looked at Finn. "Looks like we may make it after all," he said.

Finn nodded, feeling weak. He couldn't stop the blood flow if he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Puck had so many wounds; he didn't know where the deep ones were. He groaned.

"We've got to go," the other man called, running in. He realized that Finn was wounded and picked Puck up. "You can check him out when we're out of here," he told Finn.

Finn nodded, picking his gun back up and following the other men. Walking outside, he realized that they were still taking fire from the enemy. "What are we doing?" he asked the man.

"Falk and the others are going to draw the fire away from us and we're going to make our way to the pick up," the man told Finn. "We've got to hurry."

Finn nodded and ran with the other men. At one point they were out in the open and a soldier was hit. Without breaking stride, another soldier picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder and continued to run.

Everything seemed surreal; it was hard for Finn to believe that any of this was actually happening. Explosions, bullets, blood…he didn't think he'd ever be able to play the video game again.

They reached the pick up and Finn heard the familiar sounds of a chopper. He searched the sky and found it, smiling a little when he realized it was Terry and the rest of his crew. They were going to make it.

As he had the thought, a bullet hit him in the back. He dropped to the ground in agony, rolling around to see the men that had snuck up behind them. He shot one, alerting the other soldiers of their attack and location. As he lost consciousness, he saw the other attacker go down. His last thought was of Rachel and how he'd not been able to keep his promise.

* * *

><p>Rachel lay on the couch in the dark, tears streaming silently down her face. They'd still not heard from Finn, and it had been three days. Everyone in the apartment was asleep, but she couldn't shut her eyes. Her body was exhausted from lack of sleep and stress, but she was afraid that if she slept she'd miss something.<p>

It was raining outside and Rachel felt like that was appropriate. She felt like her heart was breaking over and over; it even hurt to breathe. She was still expecting Finn to call her. Carol, Kurt, Burt, and Blaine had all tried to talk to her about what they thought was the inevitable reality. She refused to hear it.

Quinn and Shelby had brought Beth to New York to be closer to them if they heard anything. Quinn had told Rachel that she believed the boys were still alive too; she agreed that it just didn't feel like they were gone. Kurt argued with them and said that feelings didn't mean much and that they needed to be prepared for the worst. Rachel hated him right now…how could he give up so easily? How could he be so willing to let go of hope?

Fighting sleep, she stared out the window. "Please," she said softly. "Please let him be okay." She looked back at her computer, the words on the screen blurring together.

Rubbing her face with her hands, she stood up and stretched a little, then sat back down. Her body ached from sitting for so long, but she didn't know what else to do. They'd had quite a few visitors, but Rachel hadn't really talked to any of them. She didn't want to; she didn't have anything to say.

It took her a moment to realize her laptop was making a noise. Rachel stared at it, not sure if she was really seeing what she was seeing or if she'd fallen asleep and was now dreaming. Clicking the button, she stared wide eyed at the screen, more scared than she'd ever been in her life. If Terry appeared and told her it was over, she was truly afraid of what she would do.

"Rach?" he said, looking into the webcam. Her eyes again filled with tears and she doubled over, trying to find her breath. "Rachel, baby, it's me."

"Finn," she said, putting her hand over her mouth and looking at him, tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes. "Oh Finn."

"I'm here," he told her, tears in his eyes as well. "I'm okay." Rachel shook her head, unable to say anything. He didn't look okay. He was pale and bloody and looked like he was going to pass out at any minute. "I'm sorry," he told her, his chin quivering. "I'm so sorry. I love you."

"_Finn_," she said again, seemingly unable to say anything else.

"Tell my mom, okay?" he said tiredly, looking away for a moment. "And Puck's going to be okay, too. I've got to go now, Rachel, but I love you. I'm so sorry for worrying you baby. I'll make it up to you, I swear." He touched the screen, and Rachel gasped when she saw his blood coated hand. "I'll see you soon."

And he was gone. Rachel sat staring at the screen, blinking. Had she really seen Finn? Or had she imagined it? "Kurt!" she cried, standing. "Kurt!"

Kurt rushed into the room, rubbing his eyes. "What happened?"

"I think I just talked to Finn," she said, gesturing to the computer.

"What do you mean, you think?" Kurt asked, moving in front of the computer and forcing Rachel to sit down.

"He's alive," she said, looking up at him. "Finn is alive!"

Kurt stared at her for a minute, the hope rising in his chest warring with the fear that Rachel had finally really lost it. He sat beside her, pulling her laptop to him. He checked her conversation history and found that she had talked to someone. "Rachel, was it really him?" he asked her hopefully.

Rachel nodded. "It was."

"And he's okay?"

She nodded again, hugging her friend. "He's hurt," she told him. "I can tell he's hurt. But he's alive, Kurt."

Kurt held her tightly, allowing himself to cry. He'd given up hope, something he should have never done. "Puck?"

Rachel pulled back, wiping her eyes. "He said that Noah was going to be okay, too. And he said he'd see me soon."

"Really?" Kurt said, looking at the screen. "How long did you talk to him?"

"Just a minute. Just long enough for him to let me know he's alive and to ask me to tell his mom."

"Are you going to call her?"

"Will you do it?" she asked him. "I think I need to go to my room for a few minutes."

"Sure," Kurt said, rubbing her back. "Can I get you anything?"

Rachel shook her head. "Can you call Quinn for me, too?"

Kurt nodded and kissed her head. "You were right not to give up, Rach."

Rachel smiled and nodded, standing on shaky knees. "I'll be out later."

She walked to her room and shut the door quietly, moving to her bed and falling into it. Sobs wracked her body as she laid there. Finn was alive; she'd hoped for it and prayed for it and acted like it was a certainty, but now that she knew for sure she could let go of the doubt that had began creeping up on her…the doubt she'd refused to acknowledge.

She knew he was hurt. He'd tried to smile but he couldn't. Something had happened, and something was wrong. But he was alive and talking to her, and for the moment that's what she was going to focus on.

* * *

><p>Rachel's face had been the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life. He could tell that the last few days had been hard on her. Her hair had been a mess, her face pale and drawn. He hated that he'd put that worry on her more than anything. The tears in her eyes had hit him like a truck, taking his breath away. He could have died and it would have killed her; for all of her strong words, he knew it would have been something she'd have never let go.<p>

He let his friend take the laptop from him and lay back against the stretcher. He had lost a lot of blood and was getting ready to go into surgery, but he'd had to talk to her. He'd known that she would be up and that she'd be waiting to hear from him; he couldn't go a minute longer without letting her know he'd made it.

He looked down the hallway at the stretcher carrying his friend. Puck was being rushed to surgery too, but Finn wasn't giving up hope. They'd both make it, and this was a story they'd both tell to their grandchildren. Finn hadn't gotten his 72 years yet, and he wouldn't be cheated out of them.

When he'd closed his eyes to give in to the pain and let go, it was her face that made him open them and fight. It was Rachel that had saved him, and he vowed to spend the rest of his life making it up to her.


	34. Chapter 34

**New York Times**

_Arts_

Ms. Rachel Berry formally dazzled us as Nala in _The Lion King_, but it is her performance as Maureen in the hit musical RENT that has garnered her so much attention. For the past few weeks Broadway and RENT fans alike have been lamenting the loss of one of their favorite actresses, with many wondering when- or if- she'll come back.

Amid her absence, tales of drug addiction, eating disorders and diva-like behavior have all been thrown about; tabloids have devoted entire front pages to the latest rumors, giving credence to their truthfulness. Even though the fellow cast members who have been interviewed maintain that Ms. Berry is a delight to work with, "unnamed sources" continue to trek her name through the mud.

None of the rumors are true. Rachel Berry doesn't have a drug problem or an eating disorder. Though she's a bit high strung, she isn't a diva by any stretch of the imagination. She hasn't flown to a different country to give birth, and she's not dead.

The truth behind Rachel Berry's disappearance is very simple: love. Scoff all you want, it does exist. Rachel and her high school sweetheart (now fiancé) are proof of that.

Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson met as teenagers at McKinley High School in the terribly small town of Lima, Ohio. They were co captains of their Glee Club and led the New Directions to the National Championship their senior year. After Rachel was accepted to NYADA here in New York, Finn decided to join the Air Force. Though it meant they would be away from each other, they maintained that they would be able to make it work…and they have.

Finn was present as Rachel made her Broadway debut in _The Lion King_, but his deployment has kept him from seeing her as Maureen- a role he predicted she'd get for years. Through phone calls, letters, and Skype, they've been able to talk to each other daily.

As mentioned above, Finn- a Para Rescueman- was deployed to Afghanistan earlier this year. His and Rachel's best friend from school, Noah Puckerman, was deployed along side of him. For months, everything was fine.

And then it wasn't. During what was supposed to be a routine evacuation Finn and Noah (or Puck, as he likes to be called) chose to stay behind so that a group of children could be removed from a combat zone. While waiting for their crew to come back, Puck was captured. Finn refused to leave his friend, and with the help of Army ground forces, he was able to free Puck and ten other soldiers from captivity. With a stab wound in the chest, he helped carry his friend out of the compound. While preparing to board the chopper to safety, he was shot in the back.

Rachel dropped out of the show the day she learned Finn was missing. For days she waited for word of his survival, along with other family members. Finally, her prayers were answered and Finn called her to let her know he was alive.

His road to recovery will be a long one, but he is alive. He is also the newest recipient of the Medal of Honor, bestowed upon him today by President Barack Obama in a simple ceremony that Rachel attended. She will remain in Washington D.C. with her fiancé for at least another week.

For those of you who wondered what could possibly make a woman turn her back on Broadway and the role of a lifetime, you now have your answer. She will return, and we will accept her with open arms. For now, she serves as a reminder to us all that true love does exist, and it's the greatest gift of all.

I know many of you will be surprised by this article, as I'm normally discussing environmental issues or the latest scientific findings. I've been a staff writer for the New York Times for two years now and have never ventured to the Arts section. Why now, you may ask. What would make a man normally grounded in facts and scientific evidence embrace the chance to speak about an actress on Broadway or the idea of true love?

The answer to this question is simple as well: I, too, was a student at McKinley High School in terribly small Lima, Ohio. I have known both Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson all of my life. I can say, without a doubt, that I have never seen two people more in love. My friendship with both of them extends to this day, and they help me believe that there is something great waiting for all of us. Fairy tales aren't real…but true love is.

If you're reading this, Rachel and Finn, I wish you both the very best. Congratulations, Finn, on being the hero we all knew you would be. Tell Puck I've forgiven him for tossing me in the dumpster…mostly. I hope to be seeing you all soon.

_Written by_

**Jacob Ben Israel**

Staff writer for the NYT


	35. Chapter 35

"I wish Noah had been able to come," Rachel told Finn as they ate on the balcony of their hotel room. The view was beautiful; they could see quite a bit of downtown D.C., but Rachel wasn't really looking. Her eyes rarely left Finn.

"I know. I hated to leave him, but since Quinn and Beth were flying to Japan I knew it would be okay," he said, wincing a little as he shifted in his seat.

"You should go lie down," Rachel said immediately.

"Rachel," he sighed with a smile, "I'm a grown man and I can take care of myself." She pouted a little and he chuckled. "If I start hurting too much, I'll go lie down. Promise."

"Okay," she said doubtfully. "You've been up for a long time today, though…" Finn gave her a look and she stopped talking. "Sorry."

He grinned, shaking his head. She'd sort of driven him crazy for the last week, but he wouldn't have changed a thing. Having Rachel around all of the time wasn't a hardship at all. "Have you talked to your director?"

"Yeah, I talked to him earlier," she said. "He said that they miss me but to take my time."

"Is that normal? I thought Broadway was more cutthroat than that."

"It normally is," Rachel agreed. "But for whatever reason, they really seem to like me."

Smiling crookedly, he squeezed her hand. "I know the reason."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"You're amazing."

"You have to say that. You're my fiancé," she said, smiling widely.

"Nope. It's true."

"Well then, aren't you the lucky one?"

"Yes," he said sincerely, looking into her eyes.

Rachel started to reply but was cut off by the phone in the suite ringing. "I'll be right back," she told him, standing. "Don't you move."

"Yes ma'am," he said, watching her walk away.

He _was _the lucky one. Either of his wounds could have been fatal, but neither of them was. He was already getting around better than the doctors had hoped he would, and he figured he'd be back in top health much sooner than anyone seemed to think. If Rachel had her way, though, he'd be on bed rest for the next 6 months.

Seeing her at the airport had been everything he'd needed. He hadn't truly felt like he could breathe until he saw her face. After the surgeries and the debriefings and the paperwork, interviews, visits with a counselor and check ups, he'd been considering just hopping into a cab, going to the airport and flying home. His already tenuous hold on sanity was starting to wear even more thin, and all he wanted was to be with her. He was tired; his body ached and his mind had a hard time wrapping itself around all of the things that had happened.

Rachel had, of course, wanted to talk about it. Finn hadn't. After the first couple of times she'd tried to initiate the conversation, she'd realized he wasn't going to budge and not asked him again. He knew it hurt her that he wouldn't share it with her, but he didn't want to see her face when she realized he'd killed people.

He'd _killed_ people. That wasn't what he'd joined the service for; he wanted to _save _people. He looked out over the city, frowning. He couldn't seem to reconcile his mind with the idea that his hands had taken the lives of several other people. He didn't feel any differently most days. He still did pretty much the same things he'd always done, thought about the same things he always had…

But he _was_ different and he knew it. Deep down where it mattered, something had changed. He wasn't sure if it was broken or just bent, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it or what he should do. He and Puck had skirted the issue the last time they'd talked, and Finn had a feeling he was experiencing the same thing. His counselor had tried to drag it out of him, but he'd not wanted to talk about it.

He had nightmares every night. Rachel slept like the dead, so he never woke her. He'd started taking sleeping pills so his sleep would hopefully be deep and without dreams, but that hadn't worked exactly as planned. He was running on empty and didn't seem to be getting any better…and Rachel could see it. She just wasn't sure what was wrong.

"Hey," she said, coming back out. "It was Kurt. I told him you were doing better."

Finn held his hand out to her, pulling her close. "Sit here," he said.

Rachel shook her head. "No, baby, you're still healing."

"Please?" he asked her, rubbing his hand up her arm. "It won't hurt me."

Looking uncertain, Rachel lowered herself onto his lap, careful not to lean on his chest. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

She sighed. "You can't keep doing this," she told him. "You love me, right?"

He kissed her lightly. "Right."

"Then why can't you trust me with your secrets?" she asked, frowning.

"I don't have any secrets," he told her.

"I guess that's why you wake up freaking out every night," she said, frustrated.

"How do you know I wake up?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"You wake me up," she told him. "After you yelled at me for asking you about it, I decided to just stay quiet."

Finn looked at her. "I yelled at you?"

Rachel nodded sadly. "It was sort of scary," she admitted.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," he told her. "When I take those pills, I never really know what's going on. I would never yell at you, Rach."

Rachel nodded. "It didn't even seem like you."

"Will you forgive me?"

"Of course," she told him. "I already have. I still wish you would just talk to me, though. I don't know if you think you're protecting me or if it's just too painful to talk about, but I'm always here. If you need help to get through it, I'm here."

Finn pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "I know you are."

She nodded. "So whenever you're ready, you just let me know." She kissed his cheek and started to stand.

"Rach," he said, holding on to her arm and keeping her seated.

"Yeah?"

"The things that happened…" he started, blowing out a breath. "The things I did, Rach…I'm not proud of all of them."

Rachel took his face in her hands. "You came home to me. You saved Puck and those other guys. _I'm _proud of you, no matter what you have to tell me."

Finn rubbed his face with his hand. "I killed people," he told her, his face a mask of pain. "I killed them."

Rachel nodded, looking into his eyes. "I know," she whispered.

"You knew?"

"It's war," she said softly. He nodded. "No matter what you did," she continued, "I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm so glad you're mine."

"I'm supposed to be over there saving people," he reminded her.

"And you did. And you were wonderful."

Finn watched her a moment, then shook his head. "You're always surprising me."

She kissed him softly, then pulled back. "Is that why you can't sleep? Because of the people you killed?"

Finn sighed, leaning back in his seat. "That's part of it."

"What's the other part?"

"The fear. I just can't seem to get away from it. It follows me wherever I go." He looked at her. "If I hear a loud noise, I jump. If someone walks behind me, I tense up. If things seem too quiet, I'm sure someone is hiding somewhere, ready to attack me." He shrugged. "When I was in the moment, I felt fear. It sat like a rock in the pit of my stomach and kept me from moving for a while. When I was moving, though, it went away. But this…this doesn't go away. This just stays with me."

"What can we do?"

"I don't know," he told her. "The psychiatrist wants to put me on some kind of medication…but I don't want to take it."

"Why?"

"I don't want to have to depend on a pill to make everything seem okay."

"You wouldn't have to take it forever, though," she said. "Just until you were feeling better."

"Yeah, but who knows how long that will be?"

Rachel nodded, agreeing with him. "Whatever you choose to do, I'm with you."

"Thank you," he said, leaning forward to kiss her again. "I don't know what I'd do without you. You calm me, help my life make sense…"

"You do the same for me," she told him, brushing her lips over his cheek.

"I'm going to stop taking my sleeping pills," he told her.

"Okay," she said. "If you wake up, I'll wake up too."

He sighed. "I hate being a burden on you."

"Stop it," she told him. "I'm serious, Finn, just stop. You're in no way a burden to me. If you're hurting, I'm hurting. If you need something, I'm going to help you find it. And I know you'd do the same for me."

"I would," he told her, pulling her closer. She resisted just a moment, then leaned her head on his good shoulder gently.

"Do we understand each other then?"

He made a sound of agreement and they sat silently for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. "Marry me," he said, breaking the silence.

Rachel sat up and looked at him. "Marry you?"

"Yeah, marry me," he said, smiling at little.

"I'm going to," she told him, confused.

"Not in a couple of years. Now. This week."

Rachel laughed a little. "Are you being serious?"

He nodded, not taking his eyes from hers. "Yes."

Becoming serious once again, Rachel cocked her head to the side. "You want to get married this week?"

"Let's do it," he told her. "What's holding us back?"

Rachel was quiet for a moment, then smiled. "Absolutely nothing."

"Let's do it then," he said excitedly.

"Where?"

"Wherever you want. We can have a church wedding or a quickie wedding, or just the two of us on a beach somewhere."

Rachel kissed him, smiling against his lips. "I have to call Kurt back!" she said, jumping up and running towards their room. She stopped before she got to the door and looked at him. "I love you," she told him.

"And I love you," he told her, smiling. "So much."

He watched her run back into the suite to call his brother, still smiling. With Rachel as his wife, nothing could hold him back. He knew that things wouldn't be perfect for a while; he would be in Japan, she would be in New York. But Rachel becoming his wife was the only thing in the entire world that made sense right now, and he wanted it more than anything he'd ever dreamed of.


	36. Chapter 36

Never underestimate the organizational powers of Kurt Hummel. Within five days he had the entire wedding ceremony planned out, down to the wine colored napkins for the reception. He'd overnighted invitations, hired a band, and picked out every flower arrangement himself.

He'd been there when Rachel shopped for a wedding dress, and wiped away all of her (overly dramatic, in his opinion) tears. He'd saved Finn from dressing like a funeral parlor owner. He'd rented an entire ballroom, determined that Rachel get her dream wedding no matter how rushed and unplanned it was. She was going to look like a princess, and Finn would be her prince charming.

They'd discussed the various Jewish ceremonies, but decided to go with a basic (but lovely) civil one. Of course they'd wanted to write their own vows, and of course they'd both come to him crying when they were having trouble figuring out what they wanted to say. He'd also had to prepare his own best man toast, help Rachel pick out the bridesmaids dresses, help Blaine figure out which bow tie to wear…it was exhausting.

Luckily, he had plenty of energy. He'd called in favors from all of his friends from school and the show to keep the cost of the ceremony down, though Rachel's dads were paying for most of it, with Burt and Carol picking up what was left. Finn had wanted to pay for it…until Kurt showed him the first bill. Then he'd gotten a little sick, sat down heavily, and looked like he was going to pass out…which sent Rachel into a panic. Always a panic with that one.

Kurt had been amazed at the amount of R.S.V.P's for the ceremony; he'd thought that with the short notice and the amount of travel involved there would be more not able to make it. Luckily, he planned for more- and with the partitions available in the ballroom if the extra room hadn't been needed he could close off the unused parts of it. See? He thought of everything.

In the chapel the rows of pews were adorned with white lilies and ribbon, the alter covered with more of the same. Little Beth, the flower girl, was dressed in a beautiful gown just like the one Rachel was wearing. Everyone was standing in the back, ready to start the procession. They were, of course, waiting for Rachel. Kurt had also predicted this, and had told her that the wedding was to start thirty minutes before it actually was. Still, if she didn't come on, she'd be even later than that.

Kurt looked through the door at Finn, who looked so handsome in his black tux. Kurt had vetoed the idea of him getting dressed in one of his Air Force outfits…or whatever they were called. Though he looked very handsome in it, he figured that neither of them needed the reminder today that he was still in the service.

Puck was still recovering, but had managed to make the trip. There was nothing Kurt could do to make the man look less…sickly. He'd tried. Puck had actually threatened to shoot him, though, when he'd mentioned make up. That was fine; if he wanted to look like an extra on The Walking Dead set, who was Kurt to try to stop him?

Sam and Mike had both made it, as well as Finn and Puck's friend Terry. He frightened Kurt a little, but it was mostly because he was always barking orders at people. Blaine thought the man was hilarious, a fact that annoyed Kurt to no end. Blaine rounded out the men standing for Finn.

Tina, Quinn, Shelby, Santana, Brittany and Maria were bridesmaids for Rachel. Kurt had been so happy to see them he'd actually cried. Mercedes had been unable to make it, but she'd sent her love- as had Artie. Kurt looked out at the packed ballroom of people and wished that the whole group had been able to make it. This day was something special.

The music began and all the men straightened, holding their arms out for their female counter parts. With little Beth leading the way, they began the walk to their friend. Rachel still hadn't come out, but one of her dads must have signaled that it was time to start the music, so Kurt wasn't too worried about it.

Kurt looked over at Maria (Rachel's maid of honor), and smiled. Everything really was beautiful, and he gave himself a figurative pat on the back. He took his place beside his brother, smiling at the look of nervousness Finn wore. Kurt knew he wasn't nervous about marrying Rachel; he was terrified that he'd mess up his vows. He'd been practicing them all day, and they were starting to run together. He was also worried that he'd wince or grimace and Rachel would call a time out and force him to go lie down.

Kurt watched as the rest of their friends joined them, then as all the guests stood for Rachel's arrival. He heard Finn take a deep breath, then breathe "Rachel," as she appeared. Kurt understood, as Rachel truly was breathtakingly beautiful. With a father on each side, she had eyes only for Finn. Her white dress hugged her body until it hit her hips, where it flared out. Her long dark hair was worn down and wavy, framing her face. Kurt could see the sparkle in her eyes from the front of the chapel. Disney princesses had nothing on his girl.

After her fathers gave her hand to Finn, they joined Burt and Carol in the first pew. Carol was already a sobbing mess, but no one could really blame her. Finn and Rachel stared into each others eyes, smiling slightly. Kurt hoped the photographer got that.

When it was time to say their vows, Finn's smiled turned wistful. "Rachel, I've loved you since we were fifteen years old. In the beginning, I thought that maybe it would go away…maybe one day I would wake up and I wouldn't anymore. But that never happened; my feelings for you have only gotten stronger. Everything about you is perfect for me…you take my breath away." He took a breath and lowered his head, then looked back up at her. "You kept me alive, Rach. The thought of you is what kept me going, what kept me fighting. You're the reason I'm still standing here. Your love, it touches something in me. Right here," he said, putting his hand over his chest and smiling.

Rachel let out a small laugh, tears welling in her eyes. "Your heart is on this side," she said, moving his hand over to cover his heart.

"My heart is right here," he said, putting his hand over her heart. "I love you, and I'm so happy you're mine."

Rachel nodded, tears falling out of the corners of her eyes. "I love you so much," she told him. "And I have from the moment we met. You've always been my dream, Finn. Sometimes it seems too good to be true; I feel like I'm living in a fairy tale. But you're real," she said, touching his face with her hand. "And you're mine. It's all I've ever wanted. I promise that from now until forever, I will do everything I can to make you happy. I will always stand by you, and I will always stand up for you. I've been yours since we were kids. I'll be yours until we're old and gray, and then even longer. You're the one that I want, the one that I need, always and forever."

The preacher said something else, but Finn was already lowering his head. His lips captured hers tenderly, his hands cupping her face. She was finally, truly his…and he was hers. The audience stood and cheered as they kissed, happy to share in a moment of perfection.

Kurt sniffled a little, glad that he'd not forgotten to add a silk handkerchief to his suit. They'd both veered away from the vows they'd written, but they were perfect nonetheless. Watching their kiss, Kurt briefly thought about the conversation he and Rachel had had in the hallway at McKinley. He'd told her that neither of them had a chance with Finn. He had never been so glad to be wrong.

Finn and Rachel made their way down the aisle, smiling and waving to everyone. Kurt followed, along with his friends. It was time for the reception and all it entailed. The fairy tale was just beginning. He couldn't remember when he'd ever been happier.


	37. Chapter 37

The cat fight over the bouquet had been pretty unexpected. Apparently, Brittany is _really _ready to get married…or didn't understand that punches aren't usually thrown during the bouquet toss. Either way, three women were now in the bathroom with bloody noses. Rachel had been horrified, but Finn had thought it hilarious.

Kurt's toast had been perfect, as they'd known it would be. That's just how Kurt did things; perfectly. The entire day (besides Brittany's brief channeling of Muhammad Ali) had been more beautiful that Rachel could have ever imagined. Every time she looked over at Finn she felt like her heart was going to explode with love. He looked absolutely perfect; she couldn't take her eyes off of him. She wanted to remember everything about this day for the rest of her life.

Her wedding gown made her feel like a princess. Kurt had been right; it weighed a ton. It was awkward to walk in and hard to sit in. It was _perfect_. Finn had told her that she looked like an angel, which made sense…she felt like she'd died and gone to heaven. And no, that wasn't an exaggeration- she truly felt that way. Since she'd been fifteen, she'd dreamed of this day. She'd hoped for it, prayed for it. And now that it was here, it was so much more than she'd hoped, prayed and dreamed.

He was sitting beside her, laughing at something Blaine was saying and holding her hand. That simple act- just holding her hand- brought tears of happiness to her eyes. Her _husband _was holding her hand. This perfect man that she'd been in love with for five years now, was sitting beside her and rubbing the side of her hand with his thumb…and he was her husband.

"It's perfect, isn't it?" Quinn asked, sitting beside her.

Rachel nodded, using her free hand to wipe a tear away. "It really is," she said softly. "I'm just…so happy…"

Quinn handed her a handkerchief. "I know that we've not always gotten along or seen eye to eye," she said, looking into Rachel's eyes, "but I just want you to know how happy I am for you. You were right when you said that you two belonged together. You deserve all of the happiness in the world, and I'm so glad that I've been here to see the beginning of it."

"Oh, Quinn," Rachel said, leaning closer to hug the other woman. "You deserve happiness too. We all do crazy things when we're young." She looked at Finn and smiled. "But everyone should have the chance to feel like this."

Quinn nodded, her gaze finding Puck. "Who knows?" she said, smiling a little. "Maybe things will work out for me too."

"I hope so," Rachel told her sincerely.

"Time to change," Kurt said to Rachel, standing in front of the table.

"Already?" Rachel said, frowning.

"Yes, little diva, already," Kurt told her, smiling. He looked at Finn. "I'll bring her back in a few minutes," he told his brother.

Finn nodded, bringing Rachel's hand up to his lips for a kiss. "I'll see you in a few minutes," he told her. Rachel started to get up but Finn tugged her hand, pulling her closer. His lips found hers for a kiss that she found herself deepening. Finally Kurt cleared his throat, causing Rachel to lift her head, dazed. "Hurry back," Finn told her, smiling crookedly.

Rachel could only nod. Kurt sighed and grabbed her hand, pulling her around the table. "We'll be back."

Rachel allowed herself to be lead out of the room, stopping and talking to several people before they got to her changing room. Kurt had helped her pick out her next dress, too. Also white, it was simple and lovely. Rachel still didn't want to take her wedding dress off, though. She stood in front of the mirror, running her hands down the gown. "Do I have to change?"

Kurt laughed, bringing the smaller dress over. "You do," he told her.

"But why?" she complained, pouting.

"Because you do," Kurt said, standing behind her in the mirror. "You looked beautiful today, Rachel."

Rachel smiled at him. "Thank you. You look pretty dashing yourself." She turned around to face him. "Thank you so much for all of this, Kurt. If it wasn't for you, we'd have gotten married in front of a Justice of the Peace or flown to Vegas or something. This was the most perfect wedding I've ever seen."

"Vegas," Kurt said, shuddering a little. "You're my best friend and he's my brother. No way could I have let that happen." Rachel smiled and Kurt hugged her. "You're welcome," he said. "Now, off with the dress."

Rachel sighed and turned, letting him unzip the gown. She knew it was childish, but she wanted to live in the dress…maybe just for a week? She just wasn't quite ready to let it go yet. "Don't be surprised if you see me walking through the apartment in this," she warned him.

Kurt snorted. "Don't be surprised if you see _me _walking through the apartment in it," he told her. Their eyes met through the mirror and they both laughed. Kurt's face became serious and he said, "I'm not joking," causing Rachel to burst out in giggles again.

She changed into the new dress, twirling in front of the mirror. The shorter skirt showed off her legs, and she knew Finn would love it. The bodice of the dress still hugged her body, with the skirt flaring out. It sparkled, much like her eyes. "Fantastic," Kurt said, looking at her. "You look great."

"Thank you," she said, kissing his cheek. "Do you think Finn will love it?"

"I know he will," Kurt said, telling her what she already knew. He looked away nervously, then back at her. "Rachel, listen, there's something I want to tell you."

Rachel stopped moving around in front of the mirror and turned to look at him. "What is it?"

"Whatever happens, don't be mad, okay?"

"Wait, what?"

"I'm just saying, Finn will know what he can and can't do, right?"

Rachel frowned. "He thinks he can do more than he can," she told him.

Kurt shook his head a little. "Just go with it, Rach, please? For him?"

Rachel crossed her arms. "What is he doing?"

"You'll see," Kurt said, walking to the door.

"I don't know if I want to," she said, following him. She knew she was overprotective of Finn, but he'd been shot and stabbed. _Shot _and _stabbed_. You don't just pop back from that.

She walked with Kurt back towards the ballroom, feeling uncertain for the first time that day. Reaching the room, she didn't see Finn sitting where she'd left him. Blaine was gone, as well. Looking around, Rachel realized she didn't see any of her old Glee Club friends.

She heard the music, and before she knew what she was doing she turned towards the stage. "No," she said, smiling. Her friends were all on stage, prepared to perform "Faithfully."

"Let's join them?" Kurt asked hopefully.

Rachel nodded, and followed him to the stage. Kurt took his place in the line as Finn stepped out, singing the first line of the song. He had eyes only for her, and though Rachel knew she should be incredibly concerned about his injuries, all she could think of was how perfect this moment was. She smiled at her husband, meeting him in the middle of the stage and letting her voice join his. The rest of the club danced behind them, the steps not forgotten. Rachel even saw Mr. Schue standing beside the stage, smiling at them.

Finn moved slower than he had a few years ago due to his injuries, but everything else was the same. Even the feeling she got when their voices blended together…she still got chills. "Oh, girl, you stand by me," Finn sang, taking her hand. Their friends joined them, singing the background vocals, and Rachel felt the tears come again. When the song was over, they stood in the middle of the stage, both breathing hard. Finn pulled her to him, bending his head to kiss her. Rachel vaguely heard their friends and family cheering and clapping, but all she could think about was his lips on hers.

"I'm still yours," she whispered against his lips.

"You're not mad? I was worried that you'd be mad."

Rachel shook her head. "I'll punish you later."

Finn grinned. "Okay."

Rachel laughed, shaking her head. "That wasn't a proposition."

"We'll see," he said, winking at her.

Rachel turned and thanked their friends, hugging them. It had felt amazing singing with them again. She really _really _hoped someone got their performance on video. She looked out at their audience and waved, bowing with the rest of them. They all walked off the stage, leaving a man to set up karaoke. Rachel Berry Hudson couldn't have a reception without karaoke, could she?

"That brought back memories," Jacob said behind them.

"Jacob!" Rachel said, hugging the man. "Your article was lovely. I'm so glad you could make it!"

Finn shook the man's hand. Jewfro had always annoyed him, but he knew through Rachel that the man had changed quite a bit; they'd ran into each other in New York several times. Finn had talked to him a few times over the internet, and had accepted his apology for anything he did or said while they were in high school. Everyone deserved a second chance, right? And judging by his latest article, the man really had changed for the better. "I see you finally made your move, Hudson," Jacob said with a smile. "Congratulations."

Finn grinned. "Thanks," he said. "I'm a lucky man." They talked for a few minutes before Finn looked at Rachel. "Can I have this dance, Mrs. Hudson?"

"Of course you can, Mr. Hudson," she said, putting her hand in his. "I'll talk to you later, Jacob, okay?" He nodded, and Rachel followed her husband out on the dance floor. They'd already had their first official dance, but Rachel would never pass up an opportunity to be held by Finn.

"You look beautiful," he told her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," she said, smiling softly up at him.

They looked around at their reception. "I can't believe all of this is real," Finn said, looking down at her. "It seems too perfect."

"Being with you has always felt that way," Rachel said.

Finn kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Rachel."

"For what?" she asked, looking up at him.

"For being mine," he said, pulling her even closer.

"It's my pleasure," she told him, closing her eyes and reaching up for a kiss. And it was. It really was.


	38. Chapter 38

Because Finn had to get back to base in Japan, they weren't able to go on a traditional honeymoon. Rachel didn't mind, though; she just wanted to be with him, wherever he was. And Japan was beautiful.

Finn wouldn't be back on full duty for another couple of months. While he was on light duty, he'd be staying in Japan. When Rachel told him that she wanted to stay in Japan with him as long as he'd be there he'd been torn; Maureen wouldn't wait forever, and he was afraid that she'd lose the part if she stayed with him. On the other hand, he selfishly wanted her with him as long as possible.

"What if they give your part away?" he'd asked her.

Rachel had just shrugged and kissed him on the cheek. "Then I'll have to find a new part."

"Just like that?" he'd asked.

"Just like that," she told him.

So far, Rachel could still go back to Maureen. Finn was sure that he worried about it more than her, which was odd. She honestly didn't seem to care, which was so different from the Rachel Berry he'd always known it was a little scary. He'd even called Kurt and asked his friend his opinion.

"People change, and their dreams change," Kurt told him. "Rachel isn't the same girl she was in high school, obsessed with being a star. All she wants now is to be your star."

"That makes me nervous," Finn admitted.

Kurt snorted. "You're not _all _she wants," he said, laughing a little. "She's not _that _Rachel anymore either. She's still trying to figure it out, to decide who she's going to be and what she wants to do. Just be patient with her."

"I can do that," Finn said, relieved.

And he could. If Rachel was just trying to figure out what she wanted to do and who she wanted to be, he could definitely relate. He still wasn't certain what he wanted to do when he got out of the service, and just thinking about it made him a little scared. For right now, in this moment, he just wanted to sit and watch his beautiful wife fix them something to eat.

"I could help, you know," he reminded her. "I'm not an invalid."

Rachel smiled sweetly at him. "But then I would have to clean up after you, and there aren't enough hours left in the day."

Finn chuckled. "You wound me."

Rachel winked at him. "Just let me take care of you while I'm here, okay? When I'm gone, you'll be fending for yourself again."

Finn shrugged. "Take out."

Rachel put the lasagna in the oven and turned to look at him with her hands on her hips. "You two need to learn how to cook."

"We can cook," Finn said. "We just can't cook _good_."

"Well," Rachel automatically corrected him.

"Well what?"

"You can't cook well."

"Thanks for the love," he said, adopting a wounded look.

Rachel laughed. "Well played." She walked to him and leaned against the bar in front of him. "When will Noah be home?"

Finn shrugged, leaning closer to her to brush his lips across his neck. "This may be a different country, but doctors visits can still take hours."

Rachel moved closer to him, wrapping her arms gently around him and standing between his legs. "He worries me," she said.

"He'll be okay. He just doesn't like to show weakness."

"Sounds like someone else I know," she said, cocking her head to the side and smiling a little.

"I have no weakness," Finn said in an exaggerated manly voice.

"I know your weakness," Rachel teased softly.

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

Rachel moved her lips to the spot where his jaw and neck met, her tongue grazing the sensitive skin there. She felt his body shudder. "That," she said, smiling against his skin.

"You win," he said.

"What's my prize?" she asked, leaning back to look at him.

"I'm sure we can think of something," he said, lowering his lips to capture hers.

Rachel pulled back and took his hand, leading him into his bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed as she pulled his shirt over his head. He winced a little and looked up at her quickly to see if she'd noticed. She had. He sighed. "I'm fine, Rach."

She nodded, but bit her lip. Every time they'd made love since they'd been married, she'd been terrified that she was going to hurt him. No matter how many times he assured her it was okay, she didn't seem to believe him. She glanced at the bandage covering part of his chest, knowing that she would give anything for it to have never happened.

He'd been stabbed and he'd been shot. He wasn't 100%, even though it had been over a month since it had happened, but he could do a lot more than Rachel seemed to think. "Come here," he said, huskily. She hesitated and he reached for her, pulling her closer to him. He moved back a bit and she straddled him. His lips traced the arch of her neck and she closed her eyes, moaning a little. "Let me love you."

Rachel opened her eyes and looked into his. "Are you sure?" He nodded. She sighed and relaxed into him. "Okay then."

Finn smiled, just holding her. He rested his chin on her head and rubbed her back. "I love you."

"I will never get tired of hearing that," she said. "Just so you know."

"I'll never get tired of saying it," he promised.

She sat back. "I love you too, you know."

"I know," he said. She made a face. "What?"

"Can I have my lovin' now?" she asked.

Finn laughed, tossing her on the bed beside him. She started to complain but he shook his head. "I'm okay," he told her. He leaned over her. "You're so beautiful," he said softly. He kissed her jaw, then trailed his lips down her neck. "You're so soft."

Rachel ran her hands up his strong arms, resting them on his shoulders for a moment. "You're so hard," she said, her fingers moving over the muscles of his back.

"Oh baby, you have no idea," he teased, grinning wickedly and cocking his eyebrow.

"Finn!" Rachel said, laughing.

Instead of replying, he worked her dress up, pulling it over her head and throwing it on the floor beside them. He made a noise of appreciation when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. He lowered his head to her chest, his tongue tracing the outline of her nipples before sucking lightly on them. Rachel's breath caught in a gasp as her hands ran down his back- careful to skirt the area surrounding his gunshot.

Finn's mouth continued to torture her as his hand moved between them, sliding along her wetness before pushing a finger inside of her. Her body tightened around his finger as a surge of pure lust shot through him. He moved up on the bed a little, his lips finding hers as he pushed her legs farther apart. Settling between them, he quickly worked his pants and underwear off, not breaking their kiss.

Rachel arched her back as he thrust inside her, closing her eyes as her body stretched around him. He immediately began moving, causing little shocks to course through her body. Familiar heat pooled in her stomach as she moved with him, her body desperately seeking release.

Finn put his hands on her knees, pushing her legs up higher and wider. Rachel's eyes found his as her mouth opened with a gasp turned moan. Panting, she clung to his waist as he pounded into her, the heat almost taking over.

She screamed as she let go, her entire body jerking with the force of her orgasm. She was vaguely aware of Finn's own cry and his fingers clenching against her skin. Her entire body kept shaking, tiny quakes of pleasure still moving through her.

Finn lowered himself on the bed beside her, breathing hard. He gathered her close and pulled the blanket over them. "I told you I was fine," he said after a moment.

"I'd say that you were better than fine," she said, resting her head on his arm. If he wasn't hurting, she wasn't going to say anything about it…for now.

"Better than fine?" he asked, smiling. "That's all I get?"

"All the awards," she told him, grinning up at him. "You get all the awards."

They lay in the bed for a while longer, talking. Rachel jerked up when the smoke alarm in the kitchen started going on. "The lasagna!" she yelled, jumping out of bed and running through the apartment.

Finn got up and ran behind her, finding the kitchen filled with smoke. He grabbed the fire extinguisher as she opened the oven door, black smoke rolling out of it. Coughing, he sprayed the oven down, putting out the fire. Rachel shut the oven door and made sure it was turned off.

"Damn," Puck said, walking into the room and taking in the smoke…and his naked two best friends. "What's for supper?"

Finn jumped in front of Rachel, who wrapped her arms around him and covered him with a dish cloth. "Take out," she said, leaning her forehead against Finn's side. They both began laughing.

Puck shook his head and walked to his room. They heard the words "naked," "crazy," and "food." Finn turned around and looked at her. "Now look at who can't cook good," he said, smiling.

Rachel laughed. "Well."

"That's a deep subject," he said, once again deliberately misunderstanding her. "Let's go to my room and discuss it more thoroughly."

"I thought you'd never ask," she said, laughing and running to his room.

"Hey, Puck, call for take out!" Finn yelled as he followed her. He had important business to take care of.


	39. Chapter 39

They both knew he'd have to go back to Afghanistan, but it seemed to come much quicker than either of them had expected. "I don't want you to go," Rachel said again, hugging him tightly. People milled around them, picking up baggage and catching flights.

"I don't want to," he told her, kissing the top of her head. "I hate leaving you."

She looked up at him. "Please be careful this time," she pleaded softly.

"I will be." He rubbed her arms. "I know you're worried, Rachel, but I'll always come back to you. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"I wish you could come back to New York with me," she said, sighing. Her flight was a little later than his, so she'd be sitting at the airport without him for a while. She figured that as busy as it was, no one would notice the breakdown she was planning on having.

"I'll see you play Maureen," he promised. "You're sure it's still yours?"

She nodded. "I talked to Ralph today. He said that they can't wait to have me back. Shelia is pregnant, did I tell you?" Finn shook his head. Shelia was Rachel's understudy. "Well, she is. So they need me back now anyway." She smiled. "It sort of worked out perfectly."

"A little too perfectly," Finn said, raising his eyebrows.

"If you say Skynet, I'll kick you," Rachel said, laughing. Finn figured that any day now computers would try to take over the world, like they did in the Terminator movies. This is what happens when she leaves Finn and Puck alone watching HBO for an afternoon.

"I'm just saying that it's possible."

Rachel looked at him, eyes wide, shaking her head. "I'm even going to miss your crazy."

"It's because your crazy matches it," he said, winking. "We're two halves of a whole crazy person."

Rachel laughed. "I wish that weren't true."

Finn tightened his hold around her waist, smiling crookedly at her. "I'll be a half with you any day, Mrs. Hudson."

"You're lucky, then," she told him. "You get to be a half with me every day for the rest of your life."

Finn kissed her forehead. "I am lucky," he said. He looked up at the clock hanging on the wall behind her and sighed. "I've got to go, babe."

"No," she said again, pouting.

"Yes," he said, tipping her chin up so that his lips could brush over hers. "Miss me, okay?"

"I'll think about it," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Don't cry," he said, kissing her again. "I'll think about you every minute."

"Me too."

"Take care of Kurt and Blaine." She nodded. "I love you, Rach. I'll see you soon."

After one last, lingering kiss, Rachel watched him pick up his bag and walk towards the terminal. "I love you!" she called out.

He turned around, smiling at her. "I love you too!" he yelled back. Saluting, he turned back around and was gone.

Rachel backed into the seat behind her, put her face in her hands and sobbed. She didn't want him to leave. She didn't want _her _to leave. She wanted them to stay in Japan for the rest of their happily ever after lives. Honestly, was that too much to ask?

It was. She knew it was. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little cheated. They'd already had to go through so much…being separated again seemed like someone was twisting the knife that had already been jammed into her heart.

She was excited about getting back to Broadway. Who wouldn't be, really? But as much as she looked forward to it, it didn't make up for the pain she felt knowing that Finn wouldn't be there. Half of her heart would be missing until he came home for good.

He had less than a year left. In less than a year, they could finally start the rest of their lives. He just had to stay safe for that long. Rachel told herself that his bad luck had already ran itself out; surely nothing else would happen to him and Puck after all they'd already been through- it wouldn't be fair. A small nagging voice in her head (that sounded suspiciously like Kurt) told her that he was going back to war and that war was never fair. She made a mental note to pinch Kurt the next time she saw him.

After calming down a bit she picked up her bags and walked slowly to her own terminal. It was time to get back to the real world, even if she had to go back kicking and screaming.

Gleegleegleegleeglee

It's hard to be away from the person you love. No matter how busy you stay, a part of you is always wondering where he is, what he's doing, if he's safe. Rachel found herself daydreaming about him throughout her days, unable to sleep without him at night. Her Maureen was still perfect, but Rachel knew her heart just wasn't in it.

Kurt helped keep her busy; he'd started his own event planning company. He loved working on Broadway, and he loved helping design sets. What he loved more, though, was putting together a wedding for a couple in love. He loved turning boring business retreats into fun filled weeks that employees would never forget. He loved birthday parties and baby showers. And he was amazing at what he did.

Starting a business is always scary, and it always requires a lot of work. When Rachel wasn't busy with the show, she was helping Kurt with color schemes, flower details and organizing dance classes. Everyone loved him, and they loved his events. Blaine had gotten a leading role in an Off Broadway production, so he wasn't able to help as much as he'd have liked, leaving more for Kurt and Rachel to do. Once he'd been in the show for a while, he'd be able to help more. As of now, though, he just didn't have the time.

And life moved on. She talked to Finn as much as she could, and she worried about him always. He and Puck were back in the air and going on missions, and she just had to deal with it. He would be safe. He would be safe. He would be safe. She kept repeating it to herself because she didn't quite believe it.

Finn seemed happy, so that was something. Of course, he was a guy and they're always happy when they're risking they're playing war games. Rachel hoped that the most action he sees for the duration of his tour of duty is from the XBOX.

"We need to talk about something," Kurt said, coming into their apartment and dropping some bags on the kitchen counter.

"About what?" Rachel asked, looking up from the sink where she was peeling potatoes for some soup. She hadn't felt very good lately and she hoped a nice hot meal would help her feel better. For some reason, all she wanted to eat lately was potato soup.

"Are you seriously making soup again?" Kurt asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Maybe," Rachel said defensively. "What do we have to talk about?"

"I'm worried that you're working too hard," he told her.

"I'm fine," she said, turning back to her potatoes.

"No you're not," he said. "You're losing weight and I know you're not sleeping well."

"My husband is at war," she reminded him. "I'm a little worried."

Kurt looked at her for a moment, then shook his head. "It's not just that," he said. "You're not taking care of yourself again."

"I just don't feel very good," she told him, sighing. "Ever."

"Have you thought about going to the doctor?"

"It's not serious enough to go to the doctor."

"I'm just worried, Rach. I just wanted to let you know that if you need a break or if helping me is ever too much, all you have to do is let me know."

Rachel smiled at him. "I love helping you, you know that."

"You can love it and it still be too much at the same time," he said.

Rachel nodded. "I need to stay busy, Kurt. I don't need a lot of extra time on my hands."

"He'll be back soon," Kurt told her, standing beside her and squeezing her arm. "And then everything will be better."

"I know," Rachel said. "You know what we haven't talked about, though?"

"What's that?"

"Is he just going to move in here, are he and I going to get our own place, are you two going to get your own place…what are we doing?"

Kurt shrugged. "We'll figure it all out when we need to." He grabbed a piece of raw potato and ate it. "Until then, could we stop having soup for every meal?"

Rachel grinned at him. "Nope."

Kurt nodded. "That's what I was afraid of." He went and sat down at the bar, going through his bags.

"Are you going to Blaine's show tonight?"

"Of course I am," he told her, digging through a bag. "Can you come?"

"I don't think so," she said. "I'm so tired I think I'm going to finish my soup and then go to bed."

Kurt looked at her pointedly. "Says the 21 year old elderly woman."

Rachel shrugged. "I can't help it. Maybe I should get some vitamins or something?"

"That would probably be a good place to start." He stood, picking up the bags. "I'm going to leave you to your soup making. I think I'll go surprise Blaine and take him out to eat before the show."

"Have fun," she told him, smiling. "And remember that there's always enough soup if you change your mind."

Kurt shuddered dramatically and left. Rachel put the potatoes in the pot and mixed in the rest of the ingredients, then turned the stove on. She really was exhausted. Kurt was right; she definitely needed to take better care of herself. Walking into the living room, she turned on the TV and sat on the couch to watch it. She fell asleep before the first commercial break.

Not a good idea.


	40. Chapter 40

He smelled smoke before he got to the door. It had been faint when he'd stepped out of the elevator, but he realized that the smell got stronger as he moved closer to her apartment. He pounded on the door, but no one answered. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed her number; he'd wanted his visit to be a surprise, but he was worried.

Not getting an answer from her, he called Kurt. The smell of smoke was a little stronger now and he was terrified that something was burning in their apartment. "Finn?" Kurt said into the phone, sounding surprised. "What's up?"

"Is Rachel with you?" Finn asked.

"No, I'm at Blaine's show. She's probably just asleep; when I talked to her earlier she was really tired."

"I'm at the apartment and I think something's burning," Finn told Kurt, staring at the door in front of him.

"Wait, you're in town?" Without giving Finn a chance to respond, he said, "Rachel was cooking when I left. You don't think she fell asleep and left the stove on, do you?" Anxiety laced his voice as the very real fear that the apartment was on fire hit him.

"The door's locked," Finn told him, trying to remain calm. "I don't have a key."

Kurt was silent for a moment. "Break it down," he finally said. "Break it down and make sure she's okay."

Finn moved back from the door and began kicking it, his mind flashing back to the compound in Afghanistan. Shaking his head, he concentrated on what he was doing. When the door cracked, a small cloud of smoke moved into the hallway. "There's a fire!" he said into the phone. "Call 911!"

Dropping the phone, Finn continued to kick the door. Neighbors from beside the apartment and across the hall all opened their doors to see what the commotion was. "There's a fire and my wife might be in there," Finn told them, still kicking the door.

The man across the hall went back into his apartment, then came out with a small hatchet. "Use this," he said, handing it to Finn.

Finn took it and began breaking the door apart. "Rachel!" he cried frantically. When he was pulling back to swing again, he noticed a little boy standing in the hallway watching him, frightened. A sense of calm moved over him. He looked at the boys parents. "You need to take the stairs out of the apartment building." He looked around at the rest of the people standing around. "You all need to get downstairs. The fire department is on the way."

He turned back towards the door and began working on it again, this time with a plan. Finally the wood gave and he was able to reach through the opening he'd made and unlock it. Smoke poured out of the apartment and he had to stand back for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he crouched down and moved into the living room. He didn't have to look very far; Rachel was on the couch. "Rach," he said, anguished. He quickly went to her, picking her up gently and hurriedly carrying her out of the apartment. He rushed her to the end of the hall, close to the stairway door, and laid her out on the ground. She was unconscious, her body limp.

He checked for a pulse and couldn't find one. He quickly began CPR, praying as he did so. He didn't think about it being Rachel. He blocked out the fact that the person he was trying so desperately to save was the person he loved most in the world. He'd done this so many times over the last three years, but it had never been so important.

Finally help arrived and took over. Finn followed the EMT's out of the building and jumped into the ambulance they put Rachel inside. The ride to the hospital only took minutes, but it felt like hours to him. The calm he'd felt when getting Rachel out of the apartment had left him; it its place was a horribly heavy sense of dread that crushed the breath out of him.

Kurt and Blaine showed up at the hospital shortly after Finn had arrived. Blaine told him that he'd left the show to his understudy. Finn knew enough about Broadway (and presumably Off Broadway) to realize that Blaine probably just gave up his shot of ever making it. "You didn't have to," Finn told him quietly.

"I did," Blaine told him, squeezing his shoulder. "Have you heard anything?"

Finn shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands. "No."

Kurt hugged Finn. "I can't believe you're here."

"When you called and told me that you were worried about Rach, I figured it would be nice to surprise her and make sure she was okay."

"We're lucky you did," Blaine told him.

Finn nodded. "I can't figure out what happened."

Kurt sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. "She was making soup when I left. She said she was tired and that she was just going to go to bed after she ate."

"I guess she fell asleep," Finn said. "Did you guys go by the apartment?"

"They wouldn't let us go up," Kurt told him. "They told us where they'd brought Rachel though."

"I can't believe this is happening," Finn said, closing his eyes. "If you could have seen her…she was gone."

"She's not gone," Kurt told him. "If she was, the doctor would have already been out here. Rachel's a fighter. We can't give up on her."

"I should call her dads," Finn said, "but I don't want to until I know something."

"If you want, I'll call them after we talk to the doctor," Kurt told him.

"Thanks, man," Finn said, "but it needs to me."

Kurt nodded. "You should sit, Finn. Pacing won't help."

Finn sat down heavily beside him. "I can't lose her, Kurt," he said. "I just can't."

"You won't," Kurt assured him, looking up at Blaine worriedly.

"It's not fair, you know? We're good people. We're young, in love, never hurt anybody. Why do these bad things keep happening to us?"

Blaine sat on the other side of Finn. "Sometimes life throws things at us that aren't fair just to see how we react."

"It's bullshit," Finn said, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

Blaine looked at Kurt over his bent frame and nodded. Finn was right; nothing about this was fair. He'd known that Rachel wasn't feeling well; everyone knew. But no one could have known that this would be the result. Despite that, he felt guilt settle in his stomach, making him sick. He could tell that Kurt was feeling the same way.

They didn't speak again, each fearing the worst as the time moved on without any word. None of them wanted to admit their fears out loud, though...that would make them real. Finally a tired looking man came into the waiting room looking for Finn. Finn jumped up and rushed to him. "Is she okay?"

"Mr. Hudson, I'm Dr. Embry. Your wife is alive."

Finn almost passed out, the relief he felt was so strong. "Can I see her?"

"They're moving her to a room now; a nurse will let you know when you can see her." He looked down at the chart that he was holding. "Your wife had to receive several pints of blood, and I'm sorry to have to tell you that we couldn't save the baby."

Time stopped. Finn's vision began to blur as his heart thudded to a stop. "The baby? Rachel was pregnant?"

Dr. Embry looked up at Finn in surprise. "You didn't know about the baby?"

Finn slowly shook his head, trying to make sense of what he'd just learned. Rachel had been pregnant? He looked back at Kurt. "Rachel didn't know either," Kurt told the doctor. "She thought she had the flu or something."

Dr. Embry sighed and nodded. "That happens more than you'd think," he said. "Women who are using some form of birth control never assume that they're pregnant when the symptoms start." He looked at Finn. "If she'd been sick, there could have been a complication with the pregnancy that left her so exhausted she'd sleep through a fire."

"But…I…" Finn wasn't sure what to say. He and Rachel had lost a baby they hadn't even known about. "Does Rachel know?"

Dr. Embry nodded. "One of the nurses would have informed her of the miscarriage."

"I've got to see her," Finn said desperately.

Dr. Embry looked back at the nurse's desk and motioned for Finn to wait a moment. He walked over to talk to a nurse for a moment, then came back to him. "They're setting her up in room 1243," he told Finn. "They should be done by the time you get there. She can only have one visitor right now, though."

Kurt nodded, taking Blaine's hand. "We'll wait down here."

Finn nodded, then moved in the direction the doctor had indicated. Taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, he quickly rushed down the hall towards her room. Finding it, he stood outside of the door for a minute, trying to compose himself. He opened the door slowly, uncertain of what he'd find.

She was curled into a ball on the bed, crying softly. Finn felt his heart break as he looked at her. "Rach?"

"Finn," she said, looking up at him. Her face was red and splotchy, her cheeks wet with tears. "You're really here. You saved me."

Finn moved to the bed, looking down at her. She appeared impossibly tiny. "Don't cry," he told her, his thumb caressing her cheek.

"I lost our baby," she said, her breath catching on a sob.

Unable to stand by and watch her cry, Finn carefully climbed into the bed beside her, gathering her into his arms. "It's okay, baby," he whispered soothingly as he held her. "It's going to be okay."

Shaking her head, Rachel cried into his shoulder. He rubbed her back, whispering to her. "I didn't know," she said, her voice muffled. "I should have known."

"How would you have known?" Finn asked. "You can't blame yourself."

Rachel pulled back a little, looking into his eyes. "I'm so sorry," she told him, tears still streaking down her cheeks. "You must hate me."

Finn shook his head. "No. No, baby, I don't hate you. I love you, Rach. I'm so glad you're going to be okay. I was scared I'd lost you." His grip tightened a little. "I can't lose you."

Rachel closed her eyes, her heart hurting more than her body. She couldn't stop shaking, couldn't stop crying. She hated herself enough for both of them. If she hadn't been so stubborn and had gone to the doctor when she'd first started feeling bad, she wouldn't have lost their baby. Just thinking about the little boy or girl who would have looked like Finn made her feel sick.

Finn brushed her hair from her face. "Just rest now," he told her. "I've got you and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Rachel knew Finn would always protect her. Before she slipped into sleep, she thought about the fact that it had been up to her to protect the little life that had been growing inside her…and she'd failed.


	41. Chapter 41

Santana walked into the hospital room to find Finn sleeping in the chair beside Rachel's bed. She walked closer to him, kicking him on the foot. Finn's head shot up and he quickly looked over at Rachel lying in the bed. "She's asleep," Santana told him.

"San," Finn said, standing and hugging his old friend. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in town, actually," she said softly. "Went by the apartment and found Kurt and Blaine going through everything." She looked back at Rachel. "It's bad."

Finn sighed, taking her hand and pulling her out into the hall. "I figured it would be," he said after he'd shut the door. "Do you know if any other apartments were damaged?"

Santana nodded. "The apartments above and below theirs were pretty messed up."

Finn grimaced. "Rachel will blame herself for that, too."

"How's she doing?" Santana asked, sitting down.

Finn sat beside her. "Not well," he said, looking at the closed door. "She blames herself for everything."

"Accidents happen."

"I know that, and you know that, and the rest of the world knows that," Finn said. "But Rachel refuses to let go of the guilt." He looked at her. "She won't stop blaming herself for the baby."

Santana frowned. "Kurt told me. That's got to be hard."

Finn nodded. "She won't even talk about it."

Santana watched him. "How are you holding up?"

"Me?" Finn asked, surprised. He'd been so worried about Rachel that he hadn't really stopped to think about it.

"Yeah, you," Santana said, smiling.

"I don't know," he told her honestly. "I haven't really thought about it."

Santana nodded. "You've been so worried about Rachel that you haven't really been taking care of yourself." Finn gave her a look and she shrugged. "Direct quote from Kurt."

Finn shook his head, smiling a little. "Sounds about right."

"He's worried about you both."

"He always is," Finn said. "So why are you in New York?"

"I'm actually thinking about moving here," she told him. "My office is starting a branch here, and they want me to check out some places, meet some people."

"That sounds like a big deal," he told her.

"It is," she said proudly. "I've worked really hard and I'm good at what I do." She shrugged. "They appreciate my talent."

"That's good," Finn told her. "I'm proud of you."

"And I'm proud of you. Both of you." She smiled. "You and Berry always had big dreams. It's good to see some of them coming true." She sat back. "How's Puck?"

"He's doing better," Finn told her. "He still thinks about Sarah a lot."

She nodded. "That has to be hard. He and Quinn still talking?"

"Some, yeah. Quinn has been spending a lot of time with Shelby and Beth."

"When do you have to go back?"

"In a few days. Kurt and Blaine found another apartment, and I'm going to try to help them move in before I leave."

"Why don't you go ahead and go help them? I'll sit with Rachel for a while."

"Really?"

She smiled. "Really. You should lie down somewhere, Finn. You look exhausted. Blaine will fix you something good to eat, you can help them move, maybe take your mind off of things for a while."

Finn rubbed his face. "I could use a shower."

"And a nap. And some good food."

He chuckled. "And a nap. And some good food." He looked back at the room. "You're sure it'll be okay?"

"I'm sure."

He stood. "I'll go grab my jacket."

Santana followed him into the room and watched as he bent to kiss his tiny wife. He hugged her briefly, thanked her, and then left. Santana pulled a chair to the bed. "He's gone," she said.

Rachel looked at her. "Why are you here?"

"It's good to see you too, Berry," Santana said. She shrugged. "I called Kurt to get his opinion on a place I was thinking about renting and he filled me in on your current situation." She sighed. "He's worried about you. About both of you."

Rachel nodded, bringing her knees up to her chest. Santana reached over and pulled the cover over her. "I don't want them to worry," Rachel told her.

"But they do. They're men. They worry." Santana dropped her bag to the ground by the chair. "Talk to me." Rachel shook her head, unable to say anything. "Look, Rachel, you know I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me."

Rachel started crying, still shaking her head. "I messed up," she said. "Oh, Santana, I messed everything up."

"There you go, Rachel. Taking credit for everything."

Rachel glared at the other woman. "Maybe you should just leave, Santana."

"Why, because I'm not going to baby you?" She sat forward in her seat. "Rachel, you didn't know. It was an accident."

"How could I have not known? I was responsible for another life, and I didn't take care of it."

"The same thing happened to me my freshman year of college," Santana told her.

Rachel sat up in the bed, pushing her hair out of her face. "What? I thought…"

"Yes, well, whatever you thought, it happened," Santana said. "College is crazy, you know? So many new people, new things to do and try." She shrugged. "Parties, boys, girls, sex…"

Rachel blinked. "College wasn't like that for me at all."

Santana laughed. "Of course it wasn't. You had Finn and your dreams. I had a broken heart and was ready to try anything."

"So…you were pregnant?"

Santana nodded. "Not very far along, but I was pregnant. I was dropped during practice one day and started cramping, bleeding. Went to the hospital and the doctor told me what had happened. She was pretty matter of fact about it, but I think I just sat there with my mouth open, horrified."

"So what did you do?"

"I cried. A lot. For two days. And then I wiped my face off, picked myself up and decided that I was going to start taking better care of myself."

"Just like that?"

Santana sighed. "Mostly. I didn't really have anyone to talk to about it; the girls were sort of hard to get to know. I wasn't even sure who the father was." She glared at Rachel. "You wipe that look of shock off of your face right now!"

"I'm sorry," Rachel told her sincerely. "I didn't mean…"

Santana waved her hand. "Yeah, I know. Anyway, I didn't have an amazing husband that sat around praying I'd just talk to him. I didn't have best friends who were so worried about me they left their show in the middle of it. I didn't have anyone writing letters to hospital administration trying to get them to let him paint a room pink because it would make me feel better the day or two I was a patient."

"Is he still doing that?" Rachel asked, grimacing a little.

"You know Kurt," Santana said. "He tried to get me to sign the petition." She shrugged. "Look, Rachel, the point is this; you're not alone. You're surrounded by people that love you. And between you and me, who knew Finn was going to grow up to be such a gorgeous man? And a war hero at that. You're a lucky, _lucky _woman."

"He is pretty amazing," Rachel said, smiling.

"Don't rub it in, okay?" Santana said, but she was smiling as well. "He's going back in a few days, right?"

Rachel nodded. "I don't want him to leave."

"And yet you're wasting his time here, not even talking to him."

Rachel groaned. "You're right, again. I just don't know what to say to him. He has to hate me, San. It was his baby too."

"I've talked to Finn," Santana told her. "I can say without a doubt that the man doesn't hate you. He's worried about you, though."

"I know he is," Rachel said. "I can hear it in his voice. He's not sleeping very well."

"He's had a pretty rough time lately. That might make for some bad dreams."

Rachel nodded. "You're right. After everything he's been through, I'm sure that's part of the problem."

"Don't make him worry, Rachel. You need to be strong for you, and if you can't…well, then, be strong for him."

Rachel fingered the blanket covering her. "I guess I seem like an ungrateful person," she said. "I don't mean to. I've just been hurting."

Santana covered Rachel's hand with her own. "I know that. So do the boys. And they'll let you grieve any way you need to. Just include them, okay?"

"I can do that," Rachel said.

"There may be a problem, though. You're really not going to like it," Santana warned her. "Your collection of Barbra movies was destroyed."

She was pretty sure that Rachel's cry of dismay was heard in Lima.


	42. Chapter 42

Finn had to leave…again. He hated it. He hated that he always had to leave and Rachel always had to watch him go. He knew it killed her, just like it killed him. They only worked right when they were together; when they were apart they started falling to pieces.

"It's not for very much longer," he said, dumping the books in the box he was holding onto the bed.

"I know," Rachel said, sitting on the bed and going through some papers.

"Hey," he said, watching her.

She looked up. "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

Rachel gave him a small smile. "Sure." He plopped down on the bed beside her, causing her to bounce a little. "Finn!" she cried, laughing.

"I'm still worried about you," he said, running his thumb over her cheek. "I know you're doing better, but you're still not back to being…my Rachel."

"I'm your Rachel," she told him. He narrowed his eyes at her and she sighed. "I am. I'm just…more sad."

"I don't want you to be sad, Rach."

"There's not a lot you can do about it," she told him ruefully. "What happened was sad. I know that it's the past and that I can't change it, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it and wanting to."

"I think about it too," he told her.

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "I would have loved to have a little Rachel."

Rachel's chin quivered and she nodded. "I would have loved to have a little Finn."

He took her hand. "We still can," he said softly. "I'll be honest…I hadn't thought a lot about having kids. I didn't even know how I felt about it. Now I know that I do want them." He smiled at her. "And when we finally have them, we'll be together again…a family."

"That would be good," she said, nodding as she smiled through her tears. "That's what I want. Our family."

"I promise you'll get it," he told her. "I promise."

"You can't promise things like that," Rachel told him.

"I can," he told her. "I promised you I'd come home safely, didn't I? And how unlikely was that?"

Rachel winced. "Remember that you're going back," she told him.

He grinned. "I know I'm going back. But I'll come back. I'll always come back. I know it."

Rachel put her hand on his shoulder. "You can't know things like that."

"I feel it," he told her. "I'm making you nervous, right?" She nodded. "Don't be," he told her. "I'm sure of it. I'll make it back and we'll have a family. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

"Crazy things happen, Finn," she told him. "Look at all of the things- good and bad- that have happened to us. Who knows what's going to happen in the future?"

"Me." Rachel rolled her eyes, but he just took her hands and waited for her to look at him. "Trust me," he said huskily.

"I want to," she told him. "It just scares me."

"Give yourself to hope," he told her. "Imagine things working out."

"Where are we going to live? What are we going to do?"

"We're going to live here, in New York. You're going to be Maureen on Broadway." He smiled.

"What are you going to do?"

"I had an idea about that," he told her.

Rachel watched him as he fidgeted. "What?"

"It's not something to worry about or anything," he started.

"What is it?" she asked again.

"Don't get mad."

She glared at him. "What. Is. It?"

"I was thinking that I'd like to try to be a firefighter," he said in a rush.

Rachel just stared at him for a moment. "You're joking."

"You're mad."

"I'm not mad," she said, pulling her hands from him. "Because I'm just hearing things."

"Rachel, don't act like that," he pleaded. "It's a perfectly acceptable profession."

"A very dangerous one."

He grimaced. "It can be."

"It always is," she said coldly.

"I could save people."

"What about me, Finn?" she demanded. "Will there never be an end to the nights I have to sit up wondering if you'll ever make it home?"

"Rachel," he said, reaching for her.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled. She stood in front of him, chest heaving. "You can't keep doing this to me!"

Finn stood. "It's who I am, Rach," he said quietly. "It's who I've always been."

He left the room and she watched him go, sliding to the floor after he'd shut the door. She put her hands in her face and cried. How could he even consider such a thing? After all they'd already been through; after all of the worry they'd already had…how could he?

She eventually crawled up into the bed and curled into a ball. She'd never felt so defeated in her life. This wasn't the Rachel Berry Finn had married…she was making a terrible Rachel Hudson. Finn had married a woman who was passionate and strong, not beaten and pathetic. What had she become?

She sat up and looked through the books he'd dumped on the bed. She found their senior yearbook and flipped through the pages, finding the Glee Club photo towards the back of the album. They looked so happy, their smiles lighting up the page.

The day the picture had been made they'd both been slushied. Rachel had extra clothes in her locker, but Finn had to leave school to change and they'd worried he wouldn't make it back in time for the picture. Rachel had waited in the choir room, pacing. A couple of Cheerios had passed the room, mocking her. Instead of letting it get her down, she'd straightened her spine and determined that she'd do whatever it took to stall so that Finn would be in the picture.

He'd made it, obviously. Looking at the picture, you'd never know that they'd already been involved in a battle that day- or every day. High school had been tough, but they'd been tougher.

Making it into NYADA had been tough, too. So had Basic Training. Broadway was insanely demanding. So was war. But they were both strong enough to do those things, right? And Finn was still being strong. He was right- it's who he was. It's who he'd always been. It's who she had to start being again.

She got off of the bed and went to the door, hoping he'd still be in the apartment. When she pulled the door open, he fell back into the room. "Finn?"

He looked up at her from the floor. "Hey."

"I'm glad you didn't leave."

"I wouldn't leave you," he told her, slowly standing up. He looked down into her face, his eyes sad.

"You're a leader," she told him.

He looked confused. "What?"

"It's who you are, Finn. It's who you've always been." She moved closer to him, putting her hand on his chest. "I knew who you were- what you were- when I fell in love with you. Your strength…it drew me to you from the beginning."

His eyes searched hers. "What are you saying?" he whispered.

"If you want to be a firefighter, that's what you're going to be. I want you to be whatever will make you happy."

"But you were right; it's not fair to you."

She shook her head. "It is, Finn. I'm just going to have to get used to the idea that my husband is perfect in every way."

He grinned. "I'm not perfect," he told her, his head slowly lowering to hers. "But my wife may be."

"I wish," she said, smiling as she leaned up to kiss him.

Finn wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled down at her. "If you change your mind, Rach, I can try to find something else."

Rachel shook her head. "I always knew it was going to be something like this," she admitted. "You would never be happy in an office or school. You save people, Finn. It's what you do." She smiled. "You saved me."

He shook his head. "I've never been so scared in my life," he told her. "But I knew that you were in that apartment and that you needed me. I did what I had to do."

"And other people will need you to do the same thing for them. And you will."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Rachel nodded. "I am." She kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he told her.

"You both make me want to vomit rainbows," Kurt said from the doorway. He walked into the room. "What's brought on this random session of lovey dovey?"

"Finn wants to be a firefighter," Rachel told him, smiling into her husbands face.

"Shocking news," Kurt said drolly. "Finn is going to be a hero. Again." His smile belied his sarcastic words.

"You jealous?" Finn teased him.

"Nope. You can save the world, I'll decorate it, Rachel and Blaine will entertain it. We all have our roles, brother." He nodded his head towards the door. "And right now your role is pack mule. We've got to get everything moved out of the other apartment."

Finn nodded, kissing Rachel again. "Duty calls."

"Go be Kurt's hero," she said.

Finn stepped towards his brother, swishing a pretend cape. "To the other apartment!" he said in a deep voice, his arm outstretched. He winked at Rachel as Kurt rolled his eyes. Rachel shook her head and got back to unpacking her new room.


	43. Chapter 43

The new apartment was actually better…not that there'd been anything wrong with the old apartment. Even though Rachel was making a lot of money, she wanted to stay with Kurt and Blaine. Because they were sweethearts, they let her. She didn't want to be out on her own- and they didn't want her to be- so it all worked out.

Finn stayed in Afghanistan for four more months, and Rachel worried about him every single day. When he got back to Japan she wanted to immediately fly there to visit, but she couldn't because of the show. Two more months went by without them being able to see each other, and Rachel felt like she was going to lose her mind if something didn't change.

Finally, it did. "Just go," her director told her.

"I can't," she sighed. "I can't leave the show again."

"You can't stay here and drive us all crazy, either," he said. "We'll be shut down for two days next week, so go ahead and take a long weekend."

"Four days?" she asked excitedly.

"Sure, if it'll get you to stop moping around."

Rachel jumped up and kissed him on the forehead, smiling. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

She wasted no time in getting a plane ticket, having bought it before she even got back to the apartment. "I'm going to Japan!" she called out as she entered her apartment.

"Thank God," Kurt said from the kitchen. "I was getting ready to kick you out of here."

Rachel walked into the room and hugged him. "I get to see Finn!"

Kurt couldn't help but smile as he hugged her back. "I'm glad."

"Where's Blaine?" she asked, sitting at the bar.

"At another audition," Kurt told her, going back to some papers he was looking through. "He can't seem to catch a break."

A wave of guilt moved through her. "I feel so awful about that," she told him. "If it wasn't for the accident, he'd still be in his old show."

"Things happen for a reason," Kurt said, looking up at her. "He'll find something."

Rachel thought about it. "I'll talk to Maria; see if there's anything she knows about."

"Good," Kurt said.

"I'm going to go call Finn!" she decided, hopping down from her bar stool.

Kurt looked up at the clock. "Won't you wake him up?"

"Probably!" Rachel said with a grin, leaving the room. Kurt shook his head and got back to his spreadsheet.

Rachel closed the door to her room and plopped on her bed, looking up his number on her phone and dialing it. "Rachel?" he said into the phone groggily. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she told him, her heart racing at the sound of his voice. "How are you?"

Finn's head rose and he looked at the clock. Yeah…four a.m. "Okay?" he said, making it a question. He was okay, right? Why would she be calling him at this time unless there was something wrong?

"Is that a question?"

Finn shook his head, trying to figure out what was going on. Her voice sounded so good to him. "I miss you, baby," he told her. "I want to come see you."

"You don't have to," she told him. "I'm coming to see you!"

Finn sat up, rubbing his face with his free hand. "You are?"

"Yes!" she said excitedly. "I'm leaving later tonight!"

Finn looked around his dark bedroom, still wondering if this was a dream. "Now?"

"No, but I'll be there in about 20 hours."

Finn grinned. "I'll see if Puck will switch shifts with me."

"You do that," Rachel told him, smiling.

"It will be good to see you, Rach," he told her. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too," she said softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he told her. They talked for a few more minutes. Rachel closed her phone and got up to pack, determined to not waste any time.

She didn't really mind overseas flights, probably because her dads had taken her on so many when she was younger. The older woman she sat beside was a Broadway fan, so they didn't run out of things to talk about, which was nice. She slept a little, but mostly she just thought about seeing Finn again. She willed the plane to move faster, sure that if anything could make it do so it would be her need to see her husband.

When they finally landed, she said goodbye to the other woman and pushed her way around all of the other passengers, being one of the first to get off of the plane. She looked around, not entirely sure where she was supposed to go.

She saw the back of his head first. He was taller than every person around him, and though he had his back turned to her, there was no mistaking the fact that it was him. "Finn!" she cried out, starting to jog.

He turned, his eyes finding her. He grinned as she jumped at him, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her lips with his own. Rachel put her legs around him, determined to never let go. After a few moments he lifted his head and smiled down at her. "Hey Rachel."

"Hey Finn," she said, grinning at him.

He slowly lowered his lips, brushing them against hers. "I've missed you."

She nodded, looking up at him. "Just come home with me."

"It won't be long," he told her. "I only have a month left."

She nodded again and kissed him. "I can't believe it's almost over."

"I can't believe it's getting ready to start," he said, talking about their life together.

"It's going to be good," she said.

"It's going to be amazing," he told her. "Just like you."

"Just like us."

His grin widened. "Just like us."

Rachel looked around them to see several people watching. "We have an audience," she whispered, laughing a little.

Finn never took his eyes off of her. "Everyone wants to see what true love really looks like."

She nodded, rubbing the back of his neck with her thumbs. "I'm glad I get to show them."

Eventually she put her feet on the ground and they moved to the baggage claim for her luggage. They spent the cab ride to his place making out like teenagers, and then took her bags on up to his apartment. "Puck?" Finn called out, opening the door. "Are you here?"

"I thought he was taking your shift?" she asked, sitting her bag by the door and closing it.

"Just making sure," he told her. He spun around so quickly she didn't have time to gasp. He pushed her into the door, his large hands holding her face and his lips crashing down on hers. Rachel groaned, her tongue meeting his as she pushed her hips into him.

Moving his hands, Finn lifted her shirt and threw it on the ground beside them. They then roamed her body, making short work of her bra. When it was gone he cupped her breasts, kneading the soft globes. His lips moved down her jaw, then her neck. He lifted her slightly so that his mouth could better reach her nipples, his tongue teasing them. Rachel laid her head back against the door, closing her eyes against the shocks of heat moving through her body his touch caused.

Finn pushed his knee between her legs, parting them. His hand moved up one, pushing her panties aside and running along her wetness. Rachel cried out as he touched her, her legs trembling. "Finn," she said. He nodded, his lips once again finding hers. She tugged his pants down, freeing him. "Finn," she said again, putting her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

Finn lifted his head and looked down into her face as he moved her panties aside again, rubbing himself against her. Her eyes stayed on his as he thrust into her, a moan escaping her lips. Holding her against the door he pounded into her, putting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. God, she felt good. She clenched around him, and then released him, her hips rocking against his.

Rachel couldn't get enough of him; her hands moved under his shirt, touching every part of him she could. With each thrust, she cried out, closer to the edge. Every nerve in her body was screaming, desperately searching for release. When it hit her she almost passed out. Wave after wave of heat rolled through her, her entire body shaking with the force of it. She vaguely heard Finn cry out as her hips jerked, her head falling onto his shoulder.

Finn's legs still felt wobbly, so he sat on the floor with Rachel in his lap, her legs still around his waist. "Welcome to my apartment," he told her, wagging his eyebrows.

"I think I like it," she said, giggling.

"And that's just the front door," he said. "Wait until you experience the couch, the kitchen table, the shower, the living room rug, Puck's bed…"

"Finn!" Rachel said, laughing. "I'm not going to "experience" Noah's bed!"

"Please?" he asked, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Nope," she said, shaking her head. "But the shower…that sounds pretty awesome."

"Oh, it is," he told her. "You're not dirty enough for a shower yet, though."

"I'm not?"

"No way," he said. He leaned his head over, whispering in her ear, "But I can help you with that."

Rachel shuddered, her breath catching in her throat. What was it about this man that turned her into jelly with as little as a few whispered words? "How much is it going to cost me?" she asked.

"Everything you have," he said, looking into her eyes.

"Sounds fair," she said, kissing him. "Lead the way."


	44. Chapter 44

It was time. It was finally time for Finn and Puck to come home. Rachel had been planning for this since she'd gotten back from Japan the first time, and she was determined that their homecoming be the greatest ever known to man. So what if the mayor had denied her request for a parade? It was going to be amazing anyway.

Everyone had flown in. Because they'd known for months the day the boys would be home, they'd all been able to get off of work or school. Rory had even flown in from Ireland. Though he'd only been around for 6 months, he and Finn had formed a bond that oceans couldn't break. Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury-Schue (who said to call them Will and Emma but that was weird) had brought their daughter Julie with them, and the little girl was a doll. Rachel had to force herself to hand the baby back to finish getting everything ready for the party.

As she looked around at the people gathered, she couldn't stop the single tear from streaking down her cheek. All of these people loved Finn and Puck and were here to celebrate their sacrifices and homecoming. What they'd done meant something to everyone. Several journalists- including Jacob- were in attendance, as well as the mayor that Rachel was currently not speaking to. She thought she'd a Senator or two milling about, too.

She talked to Kurt before she, Quinn and Beth left for the airport, making sure they both understood the game plan; neither man realized the extent of their homecoming party, and that was just how Rachel wanted it. Carol had even told Finn that she couldn't make it to New York today, which had made Rachel feel guilty. Hopefully he'd be happy surprised and not angry surprised.

Rachel looked over and caught Quinn smiling at her. "What?"

Quinn shook her head. "I can practically hear your heart beating."

Rachel grinned. "I'm excited."

"Me too," Quinn agreed.

"Me too!" Beth echoed. "I want to see my daddy!"

Rachel kissed the little girl on the head. "And you're going to," she said happily.

"Now remember Beth," Quinn told her, "don't tell daddy or Uncle Finn about the party, okay?"

"I won't," Beth said solemnly. The women looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Who knew if that was true or not?

"Do you think everything will go as planned?" Rachel worried.

Quinn nodded. "With you and Kurt working together, I have no doubt."

"I hope so," Rachel said, sighing. "I can't believe he's really going to be here…for good."

Quinn patted her hand and they rode the rest of the way in silence. When they got to the airport they told the limo driver they'd text him when they were ready to leave. Standing by the hallway Finn would be coming down, she found herself twisting her ring around her finger. She couldn't believe that after all this time and all the things they'd been threw it was finally time for them to be together forever. Their forever really did start today.

When she saw him she didn't run to him, though she wanted to. She smiled slowly as his eyes met hers and he walked towards her. Her heart beat so fast she felt like it was going to burst out of her chest and fly away. He was perfect…and he was hers.

When he reached her he didn't grab her. Instead, he got down on one knee and took her hand. "Rachel Barbra Berry Hudson," he said, smiling up at her. "I love you more than anything in this world, and I'm ready to share every day of the rest of my life with you, starting today. If you'll still have me?" Rachel nodded, her eyes welling with happy tears. Finn reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring that matched the engagement and wedding rings she already wore and slipped it on her finger. "I promise that from now on, you will be my first priority, always. I will love you and be with you, stand up for you and stand up to you, make you mad, make you laugh, make you breakfast and make you happy for the rest of our lives and then for eternity."

"I love you," Rachel whispered, laughing and crying at the same time as he stood and hugged her to him. She leaned back in his arms to look at his face. "Finn Hudson, I've been dreaming about this day since I was 15. You're everything I ever wanted, and now you're mine."

He smiled crookedly, kissing her. "How did I get so lucky?" he asked.

"You wished on the right star," she told him, smiling.

"You're my star," he said, reminding her of all the times in the past he'd said the same thing.

"And you're my hero," she said.

"And I still haven't gotten a hug," Puck said from beside them.

"Noah!" Rachel said, laughing. She moved away from Finn and hugged her friend. "I'm glad you're home, too," she told him, holding him tightly.

"Me too," he said. When they broke apart, he picked Beth up and smiled at Quinn. "So where's the party?"

"What party?" Quinn asked.

Puck rolled his eyes and smirked at Finn. "Okay," he said, shrugging. Beth opened her mouth to say something, but Quinn shook her head slightly and the little girl didn't say what it was she was going to say.

Getting to the limo, Puck whistled and patted Finn on the shoulder. "I come home with a war hero and look at the star treatment I get by association."

"You're a hero too, Noah," Rachel told him. Quinn nodded.

"My daddy is a hero," Beth said, nodding. "It's true, that's what everybody says."

Puck grinned. "Who would have thought it?"

"Me," Quinn told him softly. Puck watched her for a moment, then nodded.

They talked in the limo, little Beth peppering them both with questions about Japan and Afghanistan (though she couldn't really say Afghanistan properly yet). Finn and Puck sugar coated their stories, made them sound fun. Rachel knew it was anything but. She rubbed Finn's back as he talked, hoping that the nightmare of war stayed in Afghanistan with him. And if it didn't, she'd be there to help calm him.

"Where are we going?" Puck asked as the passed the exit for Rachel's apartment.

Rachel shrugged. "I guess he missed the turn."

Puck rolled his eyes and grinned. "You don't fool me, Berry."

"It's Hudson," she told him, crooking her eyebrow.

"Touché."

As they got closer to the convention center, Rachel texted Kurt to let him know they'd be there soon. When they pulled up, Finn and Puck looked out the window at the building. "Is this a church?" Finn asked.

"Maybe," Rachel said, getting out of the limo. "Let's go see."

The convention center hallway was dark and quiet as they walked down it. "Not a church," he said. "Doesn't sound like much of a party," Puck complained.

Rachel just smiled and put her arm around Finn's waist. When they rounded the corner to the main ballroom the lights came on and hundreds of people shouted "Welcome home!"

Finn and Puck stood in the doorway, mouths hanging open at the sight before them. Kurt and Rachel had really gone all out, and Finn figured that every person he'd ever met in his life was here. He even saw his old nanny, Betty.

Streamers and confetti floated through the air as people rushed to hug the two men, slapping them on the back and congratulating them on making it home in one piece. Quinn and Beth went to find Shelby, but Rachel stood by Finn's side, smiling proudly as he talked with their friends, family and…well, everyone. Eventually she moved over to talk to Mercedes and Tina and he got into a heavy discussion about who really won the last battle of Call of Duty with Mike and Sam.

When Finn saw Santana he hugged her tightly. "Thank you," he told her. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes. "I didn't get a chance to tell you while you were here the last time, but thank you for helping Rachel."

Santana smiled. "No problem. Now we're even."

"Even?"

"You've helped me a lot in the past," she told him. "Maybe you didn't mean to or didn't know you were doing it, but you did."

"Good," Finn said, smiling at her. The mayor wanted his attention again for another photo op and Santana moved on with a promise to catch up later.

Finn was feeling like he was never going to catch up. This was huge; there were people here that he hadn't talked to since he was little. Seriously, his _first grade_ teacher had made the trip. And he had to say hello to everyone, shake everyone's hand, and smile for a picture with everyone. What had Rachel been thinking? He just wanted to spend time with her and be happy that he was home.

He knew he must have started looking distressed because she came back to him. "What's wrong?"

"Rachel, this is just so overwhelming…" he said.

Rachel nodded. "I know."

"You know?"

She nodded again. "No matter what, you were going to be exhausted tonight, right?"

Finn looked confused. "Yeah, I guess."

"So why not get seeing and talking to everyone out of the way early? After tonight, your duty to reconnect with them is done for a while and you can just relax with me in the apartment."

Finn looked at her. "You're so smart," he said wonderingly.

"Of course I am," she said with a grin. "Your mom and Burt are staying for a week, and the New Directions will be here for the weekend. We can hang out with them Saturday night."

"It's Thursday," he said, confused again.

Rachel nodded. "We're going to spend all day in bed tomorrow," she told him, then blushed. "Resting, of course."

Finn grinned, putting his arm around her waist. "Of course," he said, winking. He looked back out at the crowd and sighed. "This is going to last all night, right?"

"Probably," she agreed. "Are you okay?"

Finn thought about spending the day in bed with Rachel all day tomorrow and grinned. "I'm good. I can do this."

Will walked up to them. "Finn, I'm so proud of you," he said.

Finn hugged the older man as Rachel smiled and left them. "It was you that gave me the confidence to become the man I am," Finn told him. "You never gave up on me. You and Rachel…I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I knew you were a leader," Will told him. "I knew you were special."

"How's the Glee Club this year?" Finn asked him.

"Good," Will told him. "Not as good as you guys were, but we're getting there."

Finn looked over at Rachel and smiled. "Any divas?"

Will followed Finn's eyes and laughed. "None like Rachel."

Finn laughed too. "There's no one like Rachel," he said. "She's one of a kind." Will nodded. "Listen, Mr. Schue, there's something I've always wanted to tell you," Finn told him.

"What's that?"

"I know you put the marijuana in my locker."

Will looked surprised, then guilty. "I'm sorry, Finn, I-"

Finn held up his hand, cutting the man off. "I figured it out the night you told me."

"Why didn't you say something?"

Finn shrugged. "I loved it," he said simply. "You did me a favor."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Will said.

"You changed a lot of lives that day," Finn told him.

"So did you," Will said, smiling and squeezing Finn's shoulder. "And you're not done yet."

Finn watched him walk away to rejoin Emma and looked at Rachel again. She smiled and gave him a small wave. He'd never even thought to be angry at Mr. Schue for the lie; it had been the best thing that ever happened to him- it had given him Rachel.


	45. Chapter 45

As it always has, time marched on. Days, months, years…they say time flies when you're having fun, and that's exactly what they were doing. Kurt's business continued growing. Maria found Blaine the perfect part on Broadway. Santana moved to New York, and Puck moved back to Lima to be with Quinn, Beth and Shelby. Rachel was still Maureen and Finn finally got to see her show. He also passed all of the tests required to be a member of the New York Fire Department and moved into a station house close to his and Rachel's new apartment. He loved it, and eventually Rachel was able to sleep when he was on duty.

They sat on a blanket in Central Park, watching the people around them. "New York is so different from Lima," Rachel said, leaning back against his chest.

Finn wrapped his arms around her, his back against a tree. "It is," he agreed.

"But then we come to the park…and it seems so similar."

He smiled. "It does."

Rachel sighed. "You know, I dreamed about this. What it would be like for me and you to be married and living in New York. Us having picnics in Central Park."

"Is this exactly how you dreamed it?"

Rachel shook her head. "No…this is better."

"Rachel Berry: living the dream," he said, grinning.

"Finn Hudson: being the dream," she replied, tilting her head to look up at him. "I like that smile," she told him.

He leaned down to kiss her, winking when he pulled away. "I like that everything."

Rachel laughed. "You know what I like the most?"

"I think I do," he said, wagging his eyebrows. "It's my big-"

"Heart!" she said loudly, cutting him off and looking around to see if anyone was listening.

Still grinning, he looked down at her. "What do you like the most, Rach?"

"That you turned into someone even greater than I'd ever imagined. And trust me; what I'd imagined was pretty great."

"I'm just the guy who got lucky," Finn told her.

Rachel shook her head in disagreement. "It's not luck," she said. "It's you being the man that does whatever it takes to make the world a better place. In high school, in the Air Force, and now here as a fire fighter." She smiled. "You do so much good for others, and it's because you can't stand by and watch anyone suffer. It's amazing to be a part of your life."

Finn rubbed her arm. "The only reason my life is amazing is you. If there wasn't a Rachel, there wouldn't be a Finn. Not this Finn, anyway." He sighed. "When I think about the world, I want it to be safe and good…because you live in it. And I spend my time making it as safe and good as I can…for you."

Rachel closed her eyes, her head resting against his chest. "You always say the perfect thing," she said.

Finn hugged her. "We're doing good, huh?"

"Well," Rachel said.

"Well what?" he asked, trying to stifle a chuckle and failing.

"You drive me crazy with that and you know it!" she accused, smiling.

Finn lowered his head and kissed her, his tongue lightly teasing her lips. "You drive me crazy with your everything," he told her huskily.

A wave of lust rolled through her and Rachel looked at him seriously. "Do we have time to go back to the apartment?"

Finn grinned ruefully. "Nope, Santana will be here any minute."

Rachel turned until she was facing him, cupping his face in her hands. "It's been a good day."

He nodded. "A perfect day. I miss days like this."

"Our lives are so busy now; it's good that we can stop for a while and take time to just appreciate one another."

Finn kissed her again. "And do you feel appreciated, Mrs. Hudson?"

"I'd feel more appreciated if we had time to go back to the apartment," she said, laughing.

"This is the life you wanted, darlin'," he said.

Rachel smiled and leaned against him. "And I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"When I joined the Air Force, I didn't think a day like this would ever happen," he told her. "I thought that your life and my life were going different places."

"They did for a while," Rachel said. "But our lives can go different places while we're still together. We'll always come back to each other in the end."

"Because you have my heart," he said.

"And you have mine."

They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the day and the park. "There they are," Finn said, looking up to see Santana walking towards them.

"Mommy! Daddy!" the little boy with her cried, running clumsily towards them.

As it always did, Rachel's heart filled with love when she saw her little man. His curly brown hair reminded her of her husbands, and his half smile melted her heart. "Hey baby!" Rachel said, holding her arms out for the boy. When he reached her, he jumped into them. Finn wrapped his long arms around both of them, squeezing them tightly. Rachel and Teddy squealed and giggled.

"I think he saved the terrible two's for later," Santana told them, sitting down on their blanket. "He was an angel."

"Were you good for your Aunt Santana?" Rachel asked him, ruffling his hair.

Teddy nodded. "Aunt Sanna is happy to me," he told them. "She gave me ice cream."

Santana looked at Rachel, surprised. "Oh," she said. "I, uh…Teddy!" she laughed, looking at the little boy. "You weren't supposed to tell them!"

Teddy looked at her. "Sorry Aunt Sanna," he said sincerely.

"It's okay," Rachel said, kissing him on the forehead. "A little ice cream won't hurt."

"That's what daddy says when he gets me some!" Teddy said brightly.

Finn groaned as Rachel turned around to glare at him. "Just a little, I promise."

"It's impossible to deny the dimples," Santana told her. "They're not fair."

"Mama, can I play with the new truck Aunt Sanna got me?" Teddy asked.

"Sure," Rachel said. Santana pulled the truck out of Teddy's bag and the little boy drove it around the blanket, making noises. "Thanks for keeping him today, Santana. We had a good time."

"Sometimes you need a chance to be alone," Santana said. "I love Teddy, and anytime you need someone to watch him, just call me."

"How are things going at work?" Finn asked her.

"Everything is great," she told him. She looked down, then back up at her friends. "Brittany is in town."

Rachel nodded. "She came over a few nights ago. Have you talked to her?"

Santana sighed. "I did. She's moving here, to New York. She said that she wants to try to make it work."

"What did you say?" Finn asked.

"I told her that we could try." Santana shrugged. "I've missed her, and I still love her. I'm already hurting by being away from her, so this couldn't hurt me worse, you know?"

Rachel smiled. "I think that's great," she said. "I hope you two are able to work things out."

"Thanks," Santana said, watching Teddy. "Being with you guys, seeing how great Teddy is…it makes me think that I'm ready for a family too." She took a deep breath. "I want to be a mom."

"You'll be a great one," Finn told her.

"And we'll always be here to help you if you need it," Rachel told her.

Santana nodded, smiling. "Come give Aunt Sanna a kiss, Teddy," she said to the little boy as she stood up. "I have to go to the office."

Teddy stood and ran to the woman, kissing her on the cheek when she leaned down. "Bye Aunt Sanna," he told her. "Thanks for the truck and the ice cream and the candy!"

Santana winked at the boy, then waved to Rachel and Finn before leaving hurriedly so Rachel didn't have a chance to say anything about the candy. "She's a good friend," Finn said.

"The best," Rachel said, agreeing. "I hope she and Brittany can be happy."

"Me too," Finn said. He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Hey, Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"If she and Brittany get together, does their 72 years start from when they were in high school or now?"

Rachel laughed. "Ours started in high school, but we've been together since."

Finn nodded. "Yeah, but if they can't count the time they've been together, there's no way they'll get to 72." He looked at her. "Everyone should have at least 72 years with the person they love."

Rachel shook her head, thinking about the couple in the news story she'd told Finn about so long ago. They'd had 72 years together, then died hours apart. "I wonder if their years were all as great as ours have been."

Finn wrapped his arms back around her. "The older couple?" Finn asked. Rachel nodded. "Everyone struggles sometimes," he told her. "But when you're in a love like this, even the bad times don't seem so bad. Sharing my years with you and Teddy makes everything better."

Rachel looked at him. "How would you feel about sharing your life with one more person?"

"Who?" he asked her, confused.

Rachel shrugged, smiling. "I'm not sure yet," she said, "so we can call her baby girl Hudson for now."

Finn watched Rachel's face for a moment. "You're pregnant?" he said, finally understanding what she was saying.

Rachel nodded, grinning. "I am."

Finn pulled her to him again, his lips crashing down on hers. When he pulled away, he grinned at her. "Baby girl Hudson?"

Rachel shrugged. "Just a feeling I have."

"Hey, Teddy, did you hear that?" Finn asked the little boy. "You're going to have a little brother or sister!"

"Okay," Teddy said, driving his truck.

Rachel laughed. "Well he's definitely excited."

Finn took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "Thank you," he told her.

"For what?"

"For everything."

Rachel nodded, kissing him. "Like I said," she told him, looking at Teddy and then around the park, "this is everything I dreamed of." She squeezed his hand. "And it's all because of you."

"Remind me to call Mr. Schue and thank him again," Finn told her later as they were walking to the car. Teddy had fallen asleep and Finn was carrying the little boy. Rachel held his hand, carrying the rest of their things in the other.

"Why?" she asked, unlocking the doors.

"For introducing me to the Chronic Lady and saving my life," Finn told her, putting Teddy in his car seat and buckling him.

Rachel laughed as she shut the trunk, getting into the car. "I'll remind you."

Finn started the car, then looked over at her. "Let's go home," he said, leaning over to kiss her.

"That sounds wonderful," she told him, smiling softly.

Pulling onto the road, Finn turned the radio on. He grinned when he heard the opening chords to "Faithfully." It was a really, _really _good life.


End file.
